Hal Alpiar's Blog

Let Salespeople Sell and Marketers Market!

Hal Alpiar — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:26:43 +0000

Should A-Rod be negotiating terms

for Scott Boras to play third base?

With immediate apologies to all those “not a baseball fan” types who prefer brawn-over-brain sports that require heavy drinking to appreciate, and, oh yes, apologies also to all those who suffered great heartache at having to see Olympic curling competition come to an end.

It’s just that even Herman’s Hermits have heard of baseball’s super-star Yankee slickster, and America’s champion sports agent (No, not the Tom Cruise character from the “Show me the money!” movie). And everyone knows that neither of these guys could do the other’s job with even a shred of success. Besides, it hooked you into reading this, right?

Well, this is not much ado about nothing because business owners and managers insist everyday on putting the avalanche of marketing burdens on the shoulders of salespeople who haven’t a clue about the most appropriate tools to use, nor any sense of the command of psychology needed to make those tools work effectively. And designating marketing people for sales roles can be an even bigger joke.

Marketing is not sales. Sales is a function of marketing.

Marketing is also the umbrella over all these other functions: pricing; packaging; online and offline promotion, merchandising, and advertising; online and offline public relations, community relations, investor relations, industry relations, business alumni relations, and much of customer relations; professional practice development; formalized networking, blogging, and social media activities; website design and development; and “buzz” (word-of-mouth) marketing.

Sales has many parts to it. Not the least of these is that being a sales representative means running one’s own small sales performance business complete with bookkeeping and all the other migraine-promoters. But sales is sales.

Marketers are the planners, organizers, strategists and creators. Salespeople are the movers and shakers. Salespeople are the lifeblood of every organization. Marketers provide the support services that bring prospects to the point of sale. Salespeople sell!

If you want your salespeople to do a better job of selling, let them sell. Take away the responsibility for marketing that drains their energy, makes them crazy and is beyond their comprehension to begin with, and let them sell.

Give the responsibility for marketing to people who are trained to do marketing. Let them come up with the words and pictures and designs and plans and budgets and strategies and slogans and jingles and branding lines and media plans and scripts and news releases and online program approaches.

When their work succeeds at driving prospects to your door, reward them for the results; but then let your salespeople do their job!

Of course they all need to interact and share insights with one another. The more each team and individual knows about what makes the other(s) tick, the more successful all of them will be, and so will be your business. Your greatest challenge is to motivate everyone to do what they do best to take your business in the direction you want it to go. That’s leadership, and only you can do that!

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

“Every Sales Pro A Small Business Owner” @ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a ; “The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx ; “Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g ; “Leadership Puzzles” @ http://tinyurl.com/yfsczbk ; “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” and“Are You Selling or Juggling Seagulls?”@ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a

Comment below or direct to Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Get blog emails FREE via RSS feed OR $1 mo Amazon Kindle. Gr8 Gift 4 GRANDPARENTS: http://bit.ly/3nDlGF

WHY HANDSHAKES SELL . . .

Hal Alpiar — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:12:36 +0000

“Apparently, human beings don’t

need to know someone in order to

believe that they know someone.”

–Malcolm Gladwell, in his article”The New-Boy Network” from his new book, WHAT THE DOG SAW

Astonishing confirmation of the news most of us know instinctively but probably never openly acknowledged has surfaced as a little tidbit of information in a remarkable new book from Malcolm Gladwell, the author of three best-selling books: The Tipping Point, Blink, and Outliers.

A sale is made or broken in the first ten seconds!

Gladwell doesn’t claim this. I do. Sadly I have no relationship with the man beyond being a great admirer of his brilliant writing skills, but I just finished this collection of his and had a hard time not bookmarking the thing beyond recognition. He raises the spectre that many new hires end up being ushered into businesses because they give great handshakes and eye contact and say the right first couple of words when they’re interviewed, regardless of how often or long they’re interviewed.

Those of us who’ve spent careers engaged in sales and selling know this kind of responsiveness is what attracts customers and what closes sales.

SECOND #1, #2, and #3 of every sales encounter (which, if you think like most successful small business owners think, means: every encounter with every person every day . . . because when you run your own business, you must always be selling) is consumed with your smile, your appearance, your eye contact, your tone of voice, and your handshake.

SECONDS #4-#10 are consumed with confirming or denying what the other person’s brain has taken in about you in those first 3 seconds. Skepticism usually leads to rejection (or possibly some level of tacit approval, but not genuine receptivity).

So, you’re in sales? Own or manage a business? Well, maybe it’s a good time to backtrack a bit and examine how you come across to others (especially strangers) in those critical first 3 seconds?

Do you communicate energy, enthusiasm, positiveness, good cheer? Do you just transmit these qualities like a reporter, or do you radiatethem like a tie-game coach at halftime? (No, not lockerroom trashtalk or yelling; radiating is all about inspiring and motivating.

In the same context, is your handshake firm and sincere? Ask others to rate your handshake between a wet fish and a bone-crusher; it should be dead center between them; skewed to either end of that spectrum will cost sales . . . and friends.)

The secret is one we all tend to forget or get careless about. It’s called (pssssssst!): authenticity. It’s a great thing to be true to oneself. It’s a sure bet to communicate/radiate your most genuine, most positive self to others at every opportunity. It will come back to you many times over in your life. It surely will make you more sales.

Act like you mean it. More importantly, mean it.

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

COLLABORATION (The New Business Mantra)

Hal Alpiar — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:47:53 +0000

Are You Playing With Yourself?

. . . Business Is A Team Sport!

Don’t you just love it when a word older than the Civil War makes a comeback and ends up on top of the heap? Collaboration. It’s the hot new buzz word in business. Who knew? It’s strategic alliance, cooperation, shared interests, communication, interaction, productivity, and teamwork all rolled into one.

Whoa! And it’s not a legal, structured entity so there are no lawyers involved. What could offer greater promise for success?

Did you think that just because you run your own business, you no longer need to worry about or deal with anyone else? Did you think “Solopreneuring” would or should render you independent? Did you think when you hung out your solo practitioner shingle, you could function completely on your own?

No more. Maybe small business hasn’t yet caught up with the giant union-based companies feeding on bailout tax dollars, or the Silicon Valley techies housed in converted warehouses with coed bathrooms, and elevated bunkbeds hovering over their computer workstations. But small businesses ARE collaborative.

Successful small business owners recognize they cannot withstand today’s economic forces with their incessant coastal flooding and gale warnings simply by hunkering down and having an inflatable lifeboat ready.

Doctors (including those who directly compete) can no longer exist without other doctors’ referrals. Downtown business membership organizations (including many directly competitive retailers) work together to stimulate customer foot traffic. Online and offline services are sharing services with other online and offline services.

Many compatible and/or competitive businesses are partnering up for centralized buying services in order to exercise greater clout in winning product and service quantity and shipping discounts. Many others share creative development talents. There are even collaboration website resources like http://www.collaboratingentrepreneur.com for small business owners (which is well worth a visit).

Business employee alumni associations are cropping up with collaborative applications designed to capitalize on the life and career paths of former (retired or moved on) employees who have maintained loyalty and/or contact since leaving. New revenue streams and solidified client sales have evolved from these collaborations.

A FREE, do-it-yourself, 2-page Business Employee Alumni Association

How-To Guide is available via email to me at the address below.

The point is that if you’re playing with yourself (pardon the double entendre), you are living in the dark ages, and you need to come up for air, look around, and see how you can help yourself (and others) by combining forces, interests, and financial pursuits. No contracts, no lawyers, and no money required. Go for it!

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

The Winner Is . . . “A Sales Personality”!

Hal Alpiar — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:37:45 +0000

Cars, Copiers, Cabbage, Colonoscopies,

Microchips, or French Fries

It doesn’t matter WHAT a salesperson sells. It’s HOW he or she makes a sale that counts.

If you’re “in sales,” you know what this is about. And if you’re NOT “in sales” (technically speaking), you ARE in sales. Think about that one for a minute. Aren’t all of us engaged in some form of selling every day?

Not knowing or accepting that you are in sales even though you’re not “in sales” is probably a bigger roadblock to your success than a dysfunctional family (which each of us reportedly has!).

Savvy sales managers and business owners recruit “sales personalities,” not robots dripping with product/service knowledge. Of course salespeople cannot be effective without substantial product/service knowledge, but they also cannot be effective if they are not social animals. Performance features are easy to teach; performing is not.

We are human so it’s only natural that we gravitate toward people with personalities that come across as authentic – people with “sales personalities.” Why would this be the case? Here we go with this sentence that sounds exaggerated but is true: All customers make all purchases (even those that seem completely unemotional) based on emotional buying motives, not logical, rational, objective ones.

You may want to re-read that last sentence and give it some open-minded consideration. Human beings do not buy product or service features. They use product or service features to justify their purchases.

Those people gifted with “sales personalities” are able to sell virtually anything. If I’m looking to hire someone to sell rocketship parts to scientists, I’ll take a guy who sells railroad cars full of ketchup packets to university buyers over an interplanetary science major who has major research experience in rocketship construction.

The ketchup guy can learn the rocketship parts business. It’s not likely the scientist is going to all of a sudden learn how to turn on the charm and be a great listener. The scientist will typically be preoccupied with talking about what the scientist is interested in talking about, not about first hearing and processing and then emphasizing the benefits the buyers are seeking.

The scientist will tend to emphasize features (which could just as easily be presented in writing and diagrams) and probably gloss over if not downright disregard any emotionally-based purchase considerations that may –as just one example– have to do with how the buyers’ decisions may have the impact of helping to protect organizational integrity.

If you own or manage a business and need strong sales support, put aside industry-specific and technical backgrounds as criteria. Focus your recruitment efforts instead on finding someone who’s proven to be a quick learner, who has enthusiasm, exceptional listening and communication skills, and who has demonstrated ability to sell. Period. You’ll get more for your money.

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

Keep it in your pocket

Hal Alpiar — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:26:28 +0000

Get it out of the elevator

and into your pocket!

The more you recite your “Elevator Speech” — you know, that little one-sentence description of what your business is all about that you would presumably use to tell your whole business story to a stranger during the few seconds of an elevator ride – the better it will get.

It’s like the repetition of any story: the more you tell it, the more polished you’ll make it, the more effectively it will communicate, the more enticing a spiel it will become. But to make it work, you have to use it over and over and over again (Repetition Sells!): in meetings, at social gatherings and community events, waiting in lines, and yes, even weddings and funerals.

That sounds distasteful to you? Sorry. It’s reality. No one’s ever really offended by quiet discreet sharing of an information one-liner that’s descriptive, in good taste, and doesn’t require ten paragraphs to explain it.

If you have your own business — or you’re a sales rep, which means you have your own business — you are expected to be able to say what you’re all about in one clear, concise (and hopefully energetic) statement that you can say comfortably without struggling for breath..

“So, hey, Philamena, I hear you run your own business; whadda’ya do?”

Please don’t tell the guy you’re a EXIF 2.2 expert who consults on compatibility of PIM and PictBridge. You might instead try: “We help individuals and businesses that work with photography to find the computer printer systems that best fit their needs.”

I know it’s tempting to let others know that you’re a CTS PT who specializes in inflamed flexor tendons instead of simply explaining you’re a “physical therapist who helps people with wrist pain from repetitive motion (like computer operation, packing and assembly, or hammering) to not lose time at work.”

Odds are if you’re new in business, you still need to tend to the polishing up of this “best set of words.” If you’ve been around awhile, you probably recite the same old statement every day to everyone and haven’t stopped to actually think about it for a long time.

So, whichever situation best describes you, stop and think about it! Ask others around you what they think of your concentrated explanation.

Remember that you only get one chance at a first impression. With today’s business economy, there’s no room for saying even one single word in your elevator speech that’s wrong, or that doesn’t enhance the communication value of explaining what your business does, or that doesn’t intrigue others.

Once you think you’ve got it, get it out of the elevator. Put it in your pocket and take it everywhere with you. Never stop refining it. And keep feeding it to your employees as the words you want them to use to describe the business anytime someone asks them (and hopefully, of their own accord, when no one asks!)

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

“Every Sales Pro A Small Business Owner” @ www.iSalesman.com ; “The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx ; “Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g ; “Leadership Puzzles” @ http://tinyurl.com/yfsczbk ; “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” and“Are You Selling or Juggling SEagulls?”@ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a

C’MON IN . . . IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

Hal Alpiar — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 02:10:30 +0000

Your Moment of Truth is NOW!

Who’s reading this stuff on a Saturday night? YOU are. Why? Well, I can’t answer that one, but I can report that you’re not alone. Saturday nights are — believe it or not — one of the highest quality visitor nights here at BusinessWorks.

I have to think it’s because entrepreneurs never sleep and are always looking for that innovative edge they can grab hold of . . . so, okay, here are some innovative edges:

If you’re the geeky-type, intent on being the next great Internet-market guru, OR if you’re a down and out sales-type struggling to make ends meet, OR you’re a business owner-type who feels like you might have been losing touch with reality lately (like who hasn’t?), please allow me to offer the following advice: (Consider it my investment in wanting to see you succeed because you came here on a Saturday night.)

1) GET OUT! Put down and turn off all the hi-tech trappings for just an hour a day and use that time to take the risk of meeting and one-on-one socializing with real living people. Go out for breakfast tomorrow morning and actually talk with the waitress or waiter and the people at the next table instead of texting your Facebook friends or Twitter followers.

2) INSTEAD OF BRUSHING OFF THIS IDEA, and deciding it’s a waste of your time (and I guarantee you it’s not!), listen to what those around you have to say and how they say it. Withhold your judgements. Just listen and absorb. Clarify. Ask for examples. Take notes (with a real pen and paper pocket-pad!). Then go sit somewhere quiet and write down what you learned about your SELF in that process.

Go to a busy street corner and ask three people for directions. Listen to what they say and how they say it. Ask them if they would repeat the directions slowly enough for you to write them down because you’re not good at remembering things like that. Then go sit somewhere quiet and write down what you learned about your SELF in that process.

3) GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY! The best vehicle I’ve ever found (and I am now nearly 300 years-old!) is this one: http://bit.ly/Bb1Tw Do it! I promise you will NEVER regret this piece of advice. It may be the single most important thing you ever learn in your life, or are ever able to teach anyone else.

4) REMEMBER THAT THE MORE YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT YOUR SELF, the better you will be at dealing effectively with others, and you can never be a success in life (regardless of how you define “success”) until and unless you can deal effectively with others.

These 4 suggestions go F A R beyond using cell phones and social networks, and F A R beyond wallowing in self-pity about how bad finances are, and F A R beyond being swallowed up by nonproductive, fantasy (non-here-and-now) thinking.

It’s all about getting back to basic, real, in-person, human contact . . . no matter how much that threatens you. Because the moment of truth for your business and your SELF . . . is NOW!.

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

“Every Sales Pro A Small Business Owner” @ www.iSalesman.com ; “The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx ; “Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g ; “Leadership Puzzles” @ http://tinyurl.com/yfsczbk ; “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” @ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a

FIXING BROKEN CASHFLOW

Hal Alpiar — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 01:51:59 +0000

Hold your nose and dunk under

the wave . . . or ride it to shore!

Surfers (not the TV channel kind!) are actually smarter than they look. They know enough to take a deep breath and either dunk under a wave to get out of the way, or stand up and ride it onto the beach. When your business cash flow is outbound, it’s time to make that same decision.

If you choose to dunk under — like leave town, change your name, and disappear into some cave or head for the islands (until your butt’s hauled back to jail) — go for it! But prepare (at least) for a stiff neck from looking back over your shoulder 16 hours a day … maybe work for a chiropractor?

My guess is that when payables tip the receivables scale into the stratosphere, most of us will opt for survival instead of surrender. Certa Bonum Certamen say the Latins (”Fight The Good Fight”) and giving our businesses CPR is certainly preferable to filing Chapter 11. Rule of thumb: One first aider beats a full house of lawyers.

Okay, so where to start? Make the unpleasant calls to creditors; beg for mercy; give them (and stick to) payback plans. Stay in communication with them no matter how awkward, uncomfortable or embarrassing it feels. DO NOT borrow money to pay back loans; it will catch up with you.

Consider reputable debt consolidation services. Fill in staff-cutback areas with interns. It’s true a recent President kind of ruined that idea, but truth is that if you’re willing to provide the proper guidance and leadership, you can literally build an empire on the enthusiasm and energy of young interns.

The best source of interns (and usually a structured program that keeps students focused and offers employers recourse) will come from your nearest community college, though some major universities have established highly successful internship (often called “cooperative education”) programs.

Interns will occasionally work for free, sometimes for commission or bonus arrangements, and often for minimum wage or less. They require ongoing supervision. You may have to fill out evaluation forms and meet with a faculty or administrative advisor once a semester. That’s it. If this is something you want to make work, make it work.

If you’re a one-man-band, ask family members for hours in exchange for breakfasts or dinners out, or periodic sports or concert tickets … i-tune cards? Be creative.

One boss I know who’s struggling to get his business back on its feet reports getting productive work hours from his cousin’s teenage son in exchange for covering periodontal work (teeth braces) not covered by insurance. He gets six months of work from another relative in exchange for new tires on two family cars.

Be creative. Make it work. Ride it to shore!

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

“Every Sales Pro A Small Business Owner” @ www.iSalesman.com ; “The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx ; “Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g ; “Leadership Puzzles” @ http://tinyurl.com/yfsczbk ; “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” @ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a

You’re paid to make decisions, yes? No? Maybe?

Hal Alpiar — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:24:59 +0000

If every decision is a coin toss,

you’re a referee. But business

decisions demand leadership.

Referees toss coins and make judgement calls about physical actions and movements within physical boundaries. Small business owners and managers must make informed decisions about psychological, mental and emotional behaviors as well as physical ones, and business has no boundaries.

Business owners and managers focus on accumulating coins, not tossing them. Referees need 20/20 vision. Business owners and managers require leadership vision. Referees put together all the pieces of a complex, moving jigsaw puzzle. Business leaders never have all the pieces.

According to the likes of great minds as diverse as Albert Einstein and Henry David Thoreau, all we ever have is limited knowledge. Certainly that’s no truer anywhere than it is in business, especiallybecause daily business decisions revolve around how others think, and we can never know all of what others think.

Customers, associates, employees, suppliers, competitors, prospects, referrers, professional advisers are all focused groups of individuals with common interests but uncommon (i.e., unique) minds and brainpower. This depth of differences (and the selective perception filters of each) call for decisions that are customized and personalized as much of the time as possible if they are intended to have impact.

Other than mathematicians, accountants, and engineers, not many careers thrive on rational, logical, objective, unemotional decision making. And EVERY purchase decision–no matter how rational, logical, objective and unemotional (even rocket-ship parts!)–is in fact emotionally-triggered.

What all this means is that business decision making needs to go FAR beyond refereeing into the land of leadership that recognizes the individuality of emotional platforms and experiences, and that addresses those with respect, grace, and finesse. Decisions are the lifeblood of leadership.

Making decisions that motivate others to strive wholeheartedly to achieve is what great leaders of the universe have done through the ages. The dynamics apply equally to Washington, Lincoln, Churchill, Eisenhower, and Reagan as they do to Gates, Jobs, and the owners of the successful “Mom and Pop” deli down the street from your home or office.

It’s probable that there are hundreds if not thousands of factors to be weighed in every small business decision, from investor and government influences to inventories and service supply lines, to the demands of unions, communities and the weather.

We can only decide based on what’s available to weigh, our related base of experience, the input we get, and our gut instincts. True leaders decide, then move on. Make-believe leaders (usually those of political and big business persuasion) analyze to death then drag out decisions past the point of relevancy.

If you own or manage a business, you are paid to make decisions. Coin tossing is simply another form of knee-jerking and winging it. “None of the above” produces decisions that cultivate consistent high impact, long-term results. But leadership does.

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

“Every Sales Pro A Small Business Owner” @ www.iSalesman.com ; “The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx ; “Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g ; “Leadership Puzzles” @ http://tinyurl.com/yfsczbk ; “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” @ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a

Business as usual suspended for today…

Hal Alpiar — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:49:13 +0000

R.I.P. “TUCKERTON” Our Loyal Cocker (8/7/03-3/2/10)

A week of great sadness has swept through our lives: first I lost a friend and teammate (See three posts below) and now, our joy-filled, spirited little black cocker TUCKERTON (named after Tuckerton Seaport on the New Jersey shore, because we lived nearby when he was born) has passed suddenly in the night.

We have had many dogs in our lives (10 or 12, I believe; 7 in our 23 years of marriage) – and thankfully, still have our 12 1/2 year-old female golden retriever, Barnegat, though her legs are slowing — but Tuckerton is the only one who had a tail that never stopped wagging!

He was happy, even up to his final moments last night, and for all the joy and unsolicited love he delivered, we shall be eternally grateful.

Tuckerton was Kathy’s full-time companion (she called him “T” and “Friar Tuck”) and I think she loved him as she often said, “more than life itself.” He was my favorite office visitor and stress-reliever.

He would bound up and down our flights of stairs like a rocketship … to chase a ball or bark greetings to a visitor. He would snuggle up in my lap, pressing his entire body into my chest, still of course wagging that constantly-in-motion tail.

He was Barnegat’s “little brother” in every sense of the word, following her everywhere, sometimes walking under her, and practically sleeping on top of her in the car. Loud noises sent him scrambling to get behind her. They would shake paws together for treats every night and exchange barks from rooms apart on those rare occasions when they were rooms apart. Barnegat will miss him every bit as much as we already do.

Tuckerton has inspired characters and names in my fiction writing, and his overall happiness literally invaded our every home and office space every day… truly a dog sent from heaven. God Bless You, Tuckerton.

We shall carry your spirit forward with us, Buddy Boy, but we’ll miss you always. #

THANK YOU FRIENDS FOR THE MANY DOZENS OF NOTES WE’VE ALREADY RECEIVED. IT’S NICE TO SEE THIS SPECIAL DOG WAS SO APPRECIATED.

The Death of Small Business…

Hal Alpiar — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:23:18 +0000

REALITY IN YOUR FACE

When it’s time to let go…

As I’ve been reminded again twice this week, facing death is never easy, and I think I can make that statement with some conviction because I’ve probably experienced all kinds and proximities of death in one way or another. Some (like family members, heroes and pets) can be devastating; some take a lesser toll, but none escape the memory banks.

Now this may seem like an inappropriate transition into business, but — if you really think about it — it’s not. Our businesses are living, breathing entities that are devoid of emotion but that maintain all the outward expressions of existence. Our businesses actually experience all the highs and lows that we’ve come to associate as the exclusive domain of human life.

If you’ve ever had to close down or bankrupt a business, or experience major business losses due to fire, flood, earthquake, burglary, or embezzlement, you surely can relate to this . . .

Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, the world’s foremost expert on “death and dying,” identified the five emotional stages we all experience: 1)Denial and Isolation 2)Anger 3)Bargaining 4)Depression 5)Acceptance

She said all of us must experience each of these five stages to one degree or another in the order they are shown with EVERY loss experience. Some of course get stuck and never make it to #5. As business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs, we experience bits and pieces of these five stages with daily losses.

Kübler-Ross noted losses are not limited to human death, and can include the loss of a limb or faculty, or ability … loss of a valuable possession (home, car, a business), loss of companionship (including divorce and separation), loss of freedom (including jail), loss of a job, loss of a client, loss of a prospect or opportunity, loss of self-esteem, loss of authority, etc.

To a lesser degree, we even experience these stages when we lose a dollar, a photograph, a letter, an address, a contest, and so on. So what’s the point?

Healthy successful people do everything humanly possible to channel all their energies and mental focus on reaching the Stage of ACCEPTANCE as quickly as possible, and on maintaining themselves at that level as permanently as possible.”

Everything else is non-productive. Everything else leaves us feeling deflated, defeated, and negative. Some stay in these places their entire lives. Some are institutionalized. Some don’t survive.

Stages 1-4 are pure torment. We must go through them, but the goal needs to be to move through them as rapidly as our minds and bodies allow us to. Getting through the maze may take friends and rescuers. We have all performed that function for someone else, but perhaps have forgotten?

Keep always in the front of your mind that no matter how hopeless it may feel to be stuck somewhere in denial and isolation, or in anger, or in a bargaining position, or a state of depression, it IS a matter of choice!

The minute we choose to accept loss, and continue to choose that, the quicker we can get on with a happy and productive existence and make the most of the short time we each have here on Earth … make the most of the relationships and purposes we’ve been blessed with.

We need not choose to lock ourselves into suffering and misery. Life and business life are way too short to have wasted time and energy with anything besides being happy and healthy and in active pursuit of our dreams.

~~~~~~~~~ Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts ~~~~~~~~~

“Every Sales Pro A Small Business Owner” @ www.iSalesman.com
“The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx
“Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g
“Leadership Puzzles” @ http://tinyurl.com/yfsczbk
“What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” @ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a

_______________________________________________

DEAR GOVERNMENT: The integrity and authenticity it’s going to take to win votes this time around start with genuine respect, listening, and attentiveness. Can we please see some convincing evidence of those behaviors offered to the small business community?