“WE DON’T SWIM

     IN YOUR TOILET

   . . . SO DON’T YOU

     PEE IN OUR POOL!”

      As a youngster, I remember snickering at seeing one of these comedic placards that you always find in tourist trap souvenir stores (and the one next to my friend’s father’s fish tank!).

     Well, you know what?  That maybe-not-so-silly little pool rule seems to me to have some surprisingly important value when you apply the notion to working in someone else’s office, joining in someone else’s conversation, sitting in on someone else’s meeting, visiting in someone else’s home, entering someone else’s private space, and being entrusted to spend someone else’s money. 

     Break it down and it’s all about respect, which sometimes these days appears to be going the way of buggy whips, 8-track cassettes, and carbon paper.  The only trouble is that buggy whips, 8-track cassettes, and carbon paper are all things, and have all been replaced by newer better stuff.  Respect (aka R-E-S-P-E-C-T, as in the song!), though, is a value, not a thing.  And I’ve never heard of an adequate substitute. 

     We speak of having to earn respect.  We’re told as children to respect our elders . . . and keep a respectful distance from the neighborhood mongrel, and from strangers who offer candy.  Yet, something here is missing. 

How many friends, family members and work associates can you honestly say you respect? 

How many do you think respect you? 

(Have you earned it?) 

How important is respect to your life pursuits? 

Your career? 

Your love life? 

Your feelings about your SELF? 

     What can you do to make this better than it is, or turn it around if it’s headed in the wrong direction?  What specific steps can you take now that are genuine (vs. quick-fix), to help yourself gain greater respect from others?  How much of your answer to the last question relates to the amount of respect you put out to those around you?

     A good place to start may be to take inventory so that you have a clearer image of those who are “around you”!   Draw a target —three or four concentric circles— on paper and decide who is closest to you (put them or he or she in the middle circle), next closest person/people (next ring), and so forth.  Of course, include animals if you like. 

     A few rings worth will give you a more accurate and balanced and realistic idea than the image you may have of these relationships that you carry around in your head.  If you’re happy with your circles, congratulations!  If you think you can do better, the R-E-S-P-E-C-T song isn’t a bad place to begin!  (Oh, and by the way, there is no end to respecting others!) 

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“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

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