“FREE KITTEN ALL AGES”

 “DRUG POISON THANKS”

     What do these mean?  What in the world do you imagine the intents could be of the people who spray-painted them?  I am assuming of course that more than one person was involved here. 

     Because both of these noncommunicative messages reared their enigmatic heads in the States of New Jersey and Delaware within the last 12 hours, I could be wrong.  After all, it is possible that one person did them both.

     However, one message was black on white cardboard; one was red on brown cardboard; the “FREE KITTEN” lettering was much more wobbily; and the two signs were about 130 miles apart. 

     So where does that leave us, except: perplexed?  So what?, you say?  Ah, but there’s good reason to wonder if someone short on two colors of spray paint and limited as to choice of cardboard was thankful for having poisoned a kitten with drugs to set it “free,” don’t you think? 

     Oh, right, and it’s entirely plausable that such a depraved individual was perhaps so overcome with emotion at the thought of having to give the poisoned kitten away for free that the shakes took over as she or he lettered the offering. 

     And then, of course, that person would have driven 130 miles —about twenty-seven hours worth in Jersey traffic— just to distance the two signs so no one (except devious me!) would think to connect the freebie-feline-of-all-ages with the expression of gratitude for the drugs that did the nasty deed.  Let’s exercise some imagination (You do remember what that’s like?  Think back to your toddler days!  Sorry, sometimes the sarcasm just runs rampant!) 

     Anyway, supposing the poor dumb cat was unintentionally poisoned, like maybe it ate some bad sushi or something.  And what if the negligent kitten culprit happened to be a some household name athlete or movie star or (unlikely though it may be, and heaven forbid) a politician?  Under such circumstances (risking infamy), it could conceiveably be worth driving the 130 miles to smoke-and-mirror his or herself into New Jersey Turnpike obscurity (or the Sopranos’ summer home in Sea Bright or Sea Girt or Mantoloking . . . or wherever, or, huh, all three plastic towns).

     So, what’s the point here, halalpiar?  Well, maybe it’s not such a good idea to create a message that’s not clear to everyone who sees it (even people as dense as me!) if you’re really serious about what it is that you’re trying to sell . . . or give away, or thank!     halalpiar   

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