You didn’t know Santa smoked?

     The stockings (um, our real socks, not today’s designer specials that hold ten gallons of goodies) were hung (actually safety-pinned to the back of the stuffed chair because the only “chimney” in our 3-room apartment next to the railroad tracks was the incinerator out in the hall that spewed nose-killing smoke around all the door openings when the garbage was burned in it every week) with care (rolling pin threats insured that the safety pins were delicately applied).

     Yeah, carrots for the reindeer and milk and cookies for Santa (left with a note begging for one or two things each) were inevitably transformed to early morning crumbs, drops of spilt milk, an empty booze bottle (Santa needed to warm up after all that North Pole snow) and cigarette butts (you didn’t know Santa smoked?).

     Let’s stay with the socks.  So, these were always the best because when we reached in, we pulled out great stuff like walnuts, and maybe an orange (depending on how big your feet were since this measurement dictated the sock you were allowed to pin up).

     Sometimes, we’d get hard candies, maybe even a candy cane, or Topps Bubble Gum with baseball cards, and almost always the big deal-breaker: a comic book!  If you were really lucky, you might get a new pair of shoelaces or (Zounds!) a pink rubber ball!

     I was probably 15 before I realized that not everybody removed and counted every single one of the 3,000 shreds of tinsel strips and laid them neatly in wax paper wrapped batches of 50 to save for next year, always a challenge after they had been sprayed with canned white “snow.” 

     We never got much in the way of gifts, but we were never hurting for canned white snow, which seemed to just miraculously appear somewhere in between the booze bottles.

     Relatives we hated always showed up with stupid presents we didn’t want (a new set of wheels for a toy car I didn’t have, a boat compass –whoot whoo!– a great amenity for my used, bent 24″ balloon-tire Schwinn bike that had a broken chain and a hitch in its git-along, a plaid shirt from the Salvation Army).

     Neighbors showed up to drink.  Dad’s drinking friends showed up to eat.  It was like somebody robbed the delicatessen across the street once a year.  From Christmas ’til New Year’s, we ate pounds of bologna, salami, cheese, ham (if the economy was good), and coleslaw ’til it was coming out our ears.  My little brother opted for his new shoelaces, which he claimed tasted better.

     Sounds pretty gruesome, huh?  Well, when you don’t know any better . . . it was just fine with us.  I guess there was too much drinking and smoking going on too, but, hey, it was what people did then (and some still do!). 

     Anyway, we did have two very special things that not many people seem to have today: family love and appreciation for what we did have.  I wish these two things for all of you.  They made a difference in my life.  (I do, though, have a rather hefty-size stocking over the fireplace right now!)     halalpiar 

   # # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 103 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

DRINK. LIGHT A CANDLE.

WEAR YOUR SLIPPERS.

BRING YOUR DOG.

     Like using up a yellow traffic light to get under and past it before it changes to red, this is the time of year to make the most of The Great American Work Slowdown that starts this weekend and lasts until New Year’s weekend’s hangovers have been adequately resolved (probably January 6th or 7th this year depending on whether you use Alka-Seltzer or not!). 

     What is that supposed to mean?  You saying to work while everybody else is partying?  No.  I’m saying take time to relax, take time to be with family (and bury the family-feud hatchets at least for a few tolerable hours), and take some time to reassess where your business is headed and how you’re going to get there.

     Now, I’m not talking corporate types here.  They get downtime all year.but have managed to convince themselves that they work hard and deserve it.  I’m talking about the all-American entrepreneur business owners and managers, and professional practice principals — those who thrive on stress, work 6-7 days a week, and have the ingenuity to make a go of anything that comes along.  If you’re it, you know it.

Take time to assess where you’re headed . . . “Where you’re headed” as in goal adjustments.  Are your goals/objectives specific, realistic, flexible, and due-dated? 

If all four of these criteria are not present by the way, your goals/objectives are simply Disneyland fantasy wishes that are wasting your time, money and energy! 

Take time to reassess how you’re going to get there . . . “How you’re going to get there” as in strategies.  What are the thinking avenues you’re going to take to reach the goals? 

If you lock in both of these, the only place you can fail is with the tactics you use to execute the strategies to achieve the goals — and tactics can be changed in two shakes of a lamb’s tail (which is pretty damn quick if you’ve ever seen a lamb’s tail shake!)

     S L O W   Y O U R S E L F   D O W N. 

     Wear your jeans and take your slippers with a giant cup of coffee or bottle of wine or some sipping brandy.  Park your car somewhere out of sight.  Lose your cell phone.  Play some background music you like.  Light a candle.  Bring your dog.  Take advantage of empty email and voicemail in-boxes. 

     Quiet time in the office can work wonders.  You’ll astound yourself with how much you learn and create and plan when nobody else is around.  You’ll get more done in half a day than you normally would in an entire week. 

     Remember all behavior is a conscious or unconscious choice.  Make a conscious choice to treat yourself to some private quiet business think time.  Oh, and do make written or tape-recorded notes of your rendezvous with your SELF!  They’ll make a great launchpad for your 2009 opening bell!    halalpiar    

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 102 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

  TOP SALESPEOPLE

  GO FOR THE NO!

    It really doesn’t matter who, when, where, why, or how you sell whatever you’re selling, it’s ALWAYS better to get an answer from your prospect that’s definite, even if the answer is “NO”! 

     It matters not whether it’s a hybrid vehicle, a railroad car of ketchup packets, a truckload of bananas, a knock-off Rolex, a mixed case of old vinyl records, computer programming services, Burger King’s new body spray, the Brooklyn Bridge, a seat in the U.S. Senate, a sponsorship on HARO.com, or your favorite sister. 

     When your prospect says “Maybe,” you’re in more trouble than the ancient-history tv entertainer Tennessee Ernie Ford used to describe as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs!  Oh, you say, but “Maybe” leaves the door open, and it’s halfway to “Yes.”  Well, bless you for the optimism, but reality is that it’s also halfway to “No.”

     More importantly, and here’s the hard-nosed truth: “Maybe” means that you are now going to embark on a journey of expending untold amounts of time, money and energy to try to push the “Maybe” over the edge into “Yesdom.” 

     Sure, the swing point could be just around the corner, but odds are that if there’s a “Yes” at all in the future to begin with, it may be lightyears away.  Even if it’s just weeks, converting a “Maybe” to a “Yes” is simply not worthy of such exhaustive blind pursuit! 

     The bottom line: If you’re serious about sales, your time is too valuable! 

     Yes, you say, but you don’t understand, you say . . .THIS prospect is a friend of a friend (or the family), and seems to like me and says she will make a decision soon, and when she buys in, it will open a whole new territory, you say . . . so, you say, I need to stay on top of it! 

     Good luck, I say!  Reality is that for you to “stay on top of it” means you will be missing the boat on other “Yes’s.”  Look at the other side of the coin.  If you push the “Maybe” a little and still get a “Maybe” it just might be worth giving an extra push to see if you can tip the scale into a more definite response.  If you can get a “NO” out of it, you win! 

     Why do you win if you lose the sale?  Because a “NO” means you can drop the effort and move on to make better use of your time, money and energy.  If you were intent on a long-term relationship, how long would you tolerate a “Maybe” from a serious dating partner? 

     Sure, there are movies about special people living for years with such indecision, but:  A) That’s neurotic Hollywood living in fantasyland, and B) This is your livlihood we’re talking about. 

     What did the old German Grandfather say?  “Vie getz too soon old, und too late schmart!”   

               GO FOR THE NO!                                              halalpiar

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 101 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Do it upsidedown

insideout

and backwards!

     Stop just THINKING outside the box.  Hop, skip, and jump outta there! 

     It’s been a while since we’ve talked about creative and innovative business methods and models, but I’m sure you remember me saying that creative ideas in business are worthless unless you can follow through with all the details, which takes a creative idea out of its tailspin and thrusts it forward onto an innovative runway.  Much like taking fantasy into the realm of reality.

     Well, now I’m about to share the thinking that creative ideas in business are really okay when they’re used as a stimulous to entrepreneurial thinking, like a trial and error approach to deciding worthiness for innovative applications.

     Here’s the bottom line.  When you hit a wall, a writer’s block, a blank, and nothing in your traditional arsenal seems to work, it’s time to get down on the floor on your hands and knees and play with the nearest baby, or puppy. 

     Now, I’m not talking token play here.  This is serious stuff!  That means you need to laugh!  Let’s face it, if you can’t laugh at yourself and giggle with the baby and bark back at the puppy, you’re not cut out to run a business.  You need corporate confinement, or a shrink.   

     Here’s the deal.  Got stuck?  Don’t waste a minute.  Immediately withdraw from your computer, your desk, your office, your briefcase, your cell phone and any other business entanglements, and RUN! 

     Run to the nearest source of relief, the nearest distant world, the farthest away mental or physical place you can, then shake your booty, rattle your cage, stick out your tongue.  Put yourself in a totally foreign situation. 

     Hey, a trip to the islands is great if you can afford the price and the time, but I’m talking about an entrepreneurial quick-fix approach. 

     Take a different route to work, and home.  Brush your teeth with your other hand.  Scrub under your other armpit first for a change.  Put your underwear on insideout.  Try doing things backwards and upsidedown.  CAN YOU DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY FOR A DAY?  Watch what happens.  You will amaze yourself! 

     Don’t take my word for it; visit or call someone you know who makes a living by being creative (a writer, painter, musician, stage performer, broadcast personality, sculptor, designer) and ask her or him what’s the best way to stimulate the creative juices.  The answer will relate to doing things differently.

     INVENTORY YOURSELF.  How does it feel?  After you get past the feeling stupid part, how does it feel? 

     What does doing things differently do to your thoughts and expectations about who you really are and what you normally do in different circumstances?  What can this exercise teach you about you? 

     Remember the more you know about what makes you tick, the more you can control your own destiny and the better you’ll relate to others, and be able to help them.  In business, making a sales means helping someone to get what she or he wants or needs. 

The more you know about you, the more you’ll sell!      

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 100 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

No, they’re not just born. 

     Yes, they’re also made. Yes, just a handful of them are a million times more likely to save our collective financial butts than all the Nation’s politicians put together. 

     Why?  Because only entrepreneurs understand how to make things happen and then make them happen. 

     Throughout history, it’s been entrepreneurs that have risen to the task of overcoming crushing defeat and corporate lethargy.

Entrepreneurs are catalysts.

They believe (and practice) that some action is better than no action, that “if it ain’t broke, fix it anyway!”

Entrepreneurs are willing to take REASONABLE risks, and then take them.

They believe that “he who hesitates is lost” but they also consider worst case scenarios before charging forward.

     In other words, entrepreneurs are the business movers and shakers of our society. Entrepreneurs are the ones –not the velvet-tongue, loud-mouth, know-nothing, do-nothing politicians and mainstream media opinionists– who will get this lumbering, bumbling, storm-struck ship, this USS Economy, righted again and moving in a productive direction.

     It will happen, this straightening of the crooked path, but it will only happen because the gates of humanity are thrown open to the innovative pursuits of the entrepreneurial spirit that throbs deep within our existence as the guiding light and stronghold of leadership in the free world.

     Sure, we can choose to moan and groan and mope and drag our sorry selves from coast to coast, and wallow in our misery –as certainly many terrorist nations would relish. 

     Or, you know what? We can just as easily choose to make an active and conscious choice to pull ourselves up by the proverbial bootstraps and help pave the way for the waves of entrepreneurial development that are destined to raise us to new heights. 

     How will this happen?

We who are blessed to be part of the American spirit will help it to happen by what we do with every day and the gift of life each of us carries from dawn to dusk and beyond.

What we DO with that, how we use it to grant others freedom from oppression and depression, each in our own unique ways, with our own unique pats on the back… is how it will happen! 

     We shall rise up as a band of supporters, igniters, lending and offering the incentives to make forward motion possible. The shoulders, our shoulders, that we put to the wheel, and march along side other shoulders moving in the same directions of enlightenment will make the difference.

     The investments we make of ourselves in ourselves, and in clearing the way for those who have the gift of making lemonade from lemons, will make the difference.

     Think about someone you know, or perhaps yourself, who glows with that “git ‘er done” energy and drive . . . reach out with belief and encouragement. Yes, it will work as surely as even the tides rise and fall, and the moon fills with light.      

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  Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

  Open Minds Open Doors 

 Thanks for your visit and may God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Hey, ja’hear the one about . . .? 

     You know how you get all kinds of email junk FWD’d to you every day from well-intentioned friends?  It’s like spam that’s endorsed (vs. unsolicited, which is much easier to delete). 

     There are the emails and attachments from “the guys” who have somehow convinced themselves that you are the perfect compatriot to share piles of what they think are yuck-it-up jokes (that come out of the same distasteful sexist denial closets as Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton).

     Then there are the “other guys” (sometimes the same ones) who love to bombard you with x-rated porn talk and photos and videos because they get off on it and can’t imagine anyone not being pleased for the viewings.

     Oh, yeah, and less offensive but equally weird, there are the schmaltzes who send every dripping piece of Hallmark-style drivel that give you the creepy-crawlys just to scroll through them. 

     Oh well, it takes all kinds, my Mother used to say (an Irish philosopher, of course!)

     Now I’m hardly a prude, and I enjoy a good email joke as much as anybody.  I especially love getting emails filled with spectacular photos of spectacular places I know I’ll probably never see otherwise … kind of a National Geographic fetish.

     But, you know what, the FWD’d emails I like best are those that make me think.

     The best of these that I’ve seen recently (anonymous of course) has provoked me to wrap tonight’s post around it because I think it’s something worth sharing, especially on the advent of our joyous and peace-filled holiday season.

     Personally, I try to never use the word “can’t” or “cannot” because I believe everything and anything CAN be done, but this list of 4 stopped me in my tracks.  It made me think.

     Tell me what YOU think (Click on “No responses yet” or “Comments” below then type in the window, or email with “4 Things” in the subject line to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com . . .

FOUR THINGS

YOU CANNOT RECOVER . . .     

1.  The stone, after it’s thrown.

2.  The word, after it’s said.

3.  The occasion, after the loss.

4.  The time, after it’s gone. 

 

Put your own spin on this, think about what it means to YOU.  Make the conclusion you come to about it work FOR you, not by regretting, but by being kinder than necessary, kinder than you usually are, kinder perhaps than you want to be.  Go ahead, try it for the holidays! What have you got to lose?  A little kindness?  Hmmmmm.          halalpiar

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 98 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Do you just turn on the

   faucet and ooze appeal?   

     I left a post at my Twitter friend Doyle Slayton’s excellent (and provocative) site for salespeople www.salesblogcast.com about the importance of empathy in sales. 

     We’ve discussed it here a few times, but the fact remains that too few of us go through our days without really stopping long enough to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. 

     So what, you say?  So this: When you can take the time and trouble (and it does take longer, and it can prompt considerable effort) to really try to understand and genuinely appreciate the circumstances of a prospect, you will be making more than one sale; you will be selling the dozens of others this one individual tells about your ability to be empathetic.

     The loyal customer you create may never actually use the word empathy to describe you.  How “nice” you were, or how”easy it was to talk” with you, or “how straightforward” or “down-to-earth” or “engaging” –even “charming”–  you were, may be the terms of choice.  But they add up to the same thing.

     How do you earn these credits?  Do you just turn on the faucet and ooze appeal?  Hardly.  Having others appreciate the way you deal with them and the sense of authenticity you put across, comes –no matter how instinctively pleasant you may be– from conscious preparation and hard work.

     It means that you are careful to exercise proactive listening skills, for example, to ask questions about what interests the other person and not you, for example . . . and listen carefully and attentively to the answers without interrupting, for yet another example. 

     The rule of thumb is to talk 20% of the time and listen 80% of the time.  A guideline that works equally well, by the way, in sales as well as relationships and, especially in dealing with children and aging parents. 

     Most nurses are exceptionally skilled at practicing empathy!

     In healthcare (where unfortunately many professionals flip the percentages and talk 80% of the time), it’s called having good bedside manners.  And how many people do you know who prefer to weigh bedside manners above even training and experience when it comes to choosing a doctor, dentist, nurse, physical therapist, occupational or speech therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, or veterinarian?

     I’m not suggesting bedside manners should replace professional training and experience.  I am advocating that better healthcare results occur when good bedside manners can supplement good training and experience. 

     Isn’t it that you want these professionals to appreciate your unique circumstances so they understand and respect you as an individual vs. lumping you together with all other broken bones, teeth fillings, muscle weaknesses, swallowing problems, brain and emotional problems, and dog-parents? 

     It’s a pleasure to deal with bedside-mannered healthcare professionals, and courteous, respectful salespeople.  Genuineness as a human being is the secret ingredient.  halalpiar

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 97 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

The sky is falling!  

What is this,

Chicken Little?

     Enough of this doom and gloom crap, already. 

     The only ones out there who are doing their jobs successfully are the two-faced mainstream media alarmist exaggerators!  And they have become so effective at brainwashing public opinion that they’re making the rest of us look like fools! 

     U.S. business owners and managers everywhere are walking face down with slumped shoulders.  They’re tsk-tsk-tsking the same people they had been rah-rah-rahing to build their businesses just a few short months ago. 

     What is this, Chicken Little?  The sky is falling? 

The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Washington Post, Boston Globe, Baltimore Sun, Time, Newsweek, and majority of other U.S. propaganda news publications . . . plus ABC, CBS, NBC, TNT, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, and majority of other propaganda news broadcasters have been doing their damnedest to paint our lives bleak and hopeless. 

     They have made every manipulative, conceivable effort to create unrest and depression.  Why?  It’s in their best interests; it serves them well: 

1. They’ve made the public hungry to find out more about this economic monster that’s crushing in around us on all sides, which sells newspapers and grows broadcast audiences (which attracts advertisers and commands higher rates).

2. They’ve made us search desperately for light so they can rally us to overcome the odds and revel in the brightness they think they can lead us all to, from out of the dark shadows they’ve created and wrapped around us.  (This is also designed to build sales, increase rates, and attract advertisers.) 

3. It helps them justify their years of relentless attacks on a President they despise, and pave the way for their annointed savior next month.  Unfortunately, nothing in their optimism could be more pessimistic.  (And this bit of shortsightedness may actually cost them money!)

4. Nothing (nothing) could be further from reality than the strategic roads they ride, but reality doesn’t sell newspapers or build viewer and listener bases — that command higher rates and sell more advertising. 

     What these great mind-bending institutions have failed to realize, however, is that they can never take away our freedom of choice.  And what we need to realize –to rise above the din of narrow-minded defeatest thinking that mainstream media representatives would have us wallow in– is that we CAN think and behave as we choose. 

     We can choose to simply reject all the nonsense the media would have us associate with their “recession” drumbeats.  We need only to look inside ourselves as business owners and managers, as key pieces to the business and economy turnaround leadership puzzle. 

     Finding fault doesn’t find the path out! Cutting budgets doesn’t create sales! 

     We need only to exercise our own intestinal fortitude as a nation of entrepreneurs, as a nation of businesspeople driven to achieve.  We are believers to the core.  We are people who exercise universal charity, who reach out to help the downtrodden back up onto their feet.  We see problems as opportunities. 

     We business owners and managers inspire by doing.  We do not accept the negative values that the media or others try to put upon us.  As a nation, we strive to be winners.  By charging forward to scale the heights, and by reaching beyond where others think is possible, we brighten the lights that bring hope to this planet.  halalpiar         

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  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Dogs, music, and BJ’s

. . . sounds a little raunchy, but remember the source.

       How hard is it to keep your stomach from gurgling with anxiety when you’ve got blog posts to put up and articles that need writing and editing, and the hours tick by, while no one at the cable company knows more than to tell you that your connections are not functioning?  Duh!  Uh, we called you, remember? 

     So me, the great 30-year teacher of stress management needs to . . . well, you know the rest. 

       A little diversionary follow-up report to yesterday’s post, btw, is that the BJ’s I mentioned, that had the gall to charge prospective customers for the privilege to shop in their new (197^th) store, opened today.   

     The most telling comment I heard was that there were more people inside the store at any given moment of the day than live in the entire town (and probably four surrounding towns as well).  So that just goes to show you how little I know about what works anymore in retailing.  Who woulda thunk it?  Right, BJ’s! 

       But the good news is that the store is 100% perfect, bright, cheerful, beautifully laid out, lots of quality merchandise at very low prices, and offering a huge selection.  Just too crowded!  Oh, well.  We’ll try it on a weekday.  I’ll let you know.  Humpf!  

     I just wrote a reminder note for Monday Vet checkup appointment for my two dogs and that stool samples are needed.  Best place to put it is with my papers for early morning meeting with clients so I remember to get on the road asap after the meeting.  Hope the note doesn’t fall out.  “Bring poop samples to next meeting!” might be hard to explain.

       It’s weird to be typing this in Word instead of my friendly little blog window. 

I was reminded today of two things you can never get back:

the stones you throw and the words you use.

     Belated Happy Birthday to my son the musician.  We spoke (and I sang!) on his day, 12/11, but I hadn’t yet managed to squeeze Christopher www.alpiar.com into my blog.  Anyway, he sent me the following link that he ran across:  http://video.stumbleupon.com/?p=kkdpiahine . . . a pretty cool solo performance no matter what your level of music interest.

       Oh, right, dogs.  So now you know the slow motion truth of my brain activity.  But since you already know about their poop, you should want to know that one’s an all black 5 year-old cocker spaniel, Tuckerton (he’s named after NJ’s Tuckerton Seaport, a mile from where we once lived), and the other’s an 11½ year-old golden retriever, Barnegat (she’s named after NJ’s Barnegat Bay, where we once welcomed the waves onto our front yard).  Now you know why I’m not moving to Machipongo, VA, anytime soon.  

     I promise more substance tomorrow, assuming the great awakening of my cable company.  In the meantime, have a wonderful night.   halalpiar

 # # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 95 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Every purchase decision

is emotionally-triggered!

     I am forever amazed at the ability of some retailers (and especially in this economy) to assume the luxury of pre-qualifying customers before they ever even set foot inside the store.  Have you noticed?  Or have you been asleep at the keyboard? 

     There’s a BJ’s opening nearby.  Kathy and I went to buy (“buy,” mind you) a “BJ’s Club Membership” card to be allowed to shop at this store that isn’t yet open!  For those even more in the dark than I’ve been (hard to imagine), this means you pay for the privilege to shop at this store.

     Like an idiot, I agreed to stay with Kathy and work through the 35-minute application process (when, alas, I could instead have been happily poking through the aisles of the next door hardware store), highlighted by having to have a photo I.D. in order to obtain a photo I.D.

     Now that makes alot of sense, right?  Isn’t that a lot like the bank being willing to give you a loan if you have enough in the bank to cover the loan?

     Yeah, but, the BJ’s fanatics tell me, you can get lots more stuff cheaper than other places, so it’s worth it to let them take out a second mortgage on your third child in order to be allowed to shop in their store (which, I might add, ain’t quite Tiffany’s!). 

     Well, excuse me, but wouldn’t you think any retailer would be thrilled these days just to have you drop by and do a little shopping?  What makes this join/enroll/enlist/sign up mindset so compelling that people feel they just “have to” buy into the program? 

     We are spending our money to buy products and contribute to –in this case– BJ’s profits, yes?  I mean it’s not like we’re qualifying for the Olympics, is it? 

     Aha!  It’s because we’re all suckers!  It’s because BJ’s, CostCo, Sam’s Club, et al suck us into “Club Memberships” knowing we can’t resist making a good solid emotional decision to join in the mutual exclusivity of others we like to believe we identify with in terms of lifestyle. 

     Huh?  Well, remember that no purchase (ZERO, NONE, NADA) is a rational, logical, unemotional decision.  It’s simply the way we justify ourselves.  But what about the economics of joing retail club membership rolls, and paying to be able to act and feel like we are getting exclusive purchase deals?  Well, maybe we are.  But so what? 

     Maybe we really don’t care about any of this, or maybe we can rationalize it all away.  What?  Oh, you don’t make emotional decisions?  HA!  Ask any good salesperson.  Every purchase decision is an emotionally-based, emotionally-triggered decision. 

     The rational, logical, unemotional stuff is what we use to justify our emotional choices, so we tell our friends about the product or service features, the great price, and how the car will do everything except make coffee, but the truth is we think we look good driving it, or we got totally hooked into the salesperson’s personality, or we have a need to “show off” our good taste . . . something emotional makes it happen! 

     What else?  I am now a card-carrying BJ’er.  YOW!     

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