So you had bad toilet training

as a child. So what?

     Imagine what this world would be like  without hidden agendas. Okay, maybe you can’t change the world. Imagine what your business would be like without hidden agendas? Your life?

“Man is not totally at the mercy of either his heredity or his environment, He can modify both.” It starts with increasing “a person’s awareness of the real power he has to direct his own life, to make decisions, to develop his own ethical system, to enhance the lives of others, and to understand that he was born to win.” 

Excerpts from the Preface of BORN TO WIN by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward

     Here’s the deal:  Psychological “game-playing” (often unconsciously provoked) has been defined by psychology icons Dr. Eric Berne and Dr. Frederick Perls as a series of transactions or communication exchanges (often repetitive) with a hidden motive or agenda.

     These “game” exchanges,  which may seem innocent and perfectly rational on the surface, can have extremely destructive mental and emotional consequences. “They prevent honest, intimate and open relationships” at home and on the job, say author/therapists James and Jongeward.

     They go on  to point out that we “wear many masks and have many forms of armor” that keep our true selves confined and unknown, even to ourselves. The possibility of encountering our own reality–learning about ourselves– can be “frightening and frustrating.”

     Many of us,  say James and Jongeward, “expect to discover the worst” when we set out on a path of self-exploration, “and a hidden fear lies in the fact that we may also discover the best.”

     To discover the worst  means we must “face the decision of whether or not to continue in the same patterns” of behavior, they say, and “To learn the best is to face the decision of whether or not to live up to it.”

     Because either discovery  may involve change, it is anxiety-provoking, which can be good or bad, depending on how we use the information and exercise the change.

     It all comes down to  making a conscious choice to learn more about what makes you tick so you can minimize game-playing, recognize it in others and not play, be better able to generally run a healthier more productive business… and experience a healthier and happier personal life in the process.

     What have you got to lose?  Finding out you had bad toilet training when you were three years-old? So what? Choose to make the reality of your present moment your focus, and watch the joy that comes to the surface, and stays! 

 # # #  

Input aways welcome: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in    subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  

# # #

This blog free via list-protected email: Posts RSS Feed (center col.)…$1.99/ month on AMAZON Kindle. Creative? Add your own 7 words to the 313-day 7-Word Story (under RSS) We’re making it up as we go!  GET Hal Alpiar short story in Sept. release book from Nightengale Press: THE ART OF GRANDPARENTING Amazon, B&N, OR order special (signed by Hal) pre-publication $22.45 total check only (includes s&h), payable & mail to: TheWriterWorks.com, LLC @PO Box 1236, Millsboro, DE 19966. Include continental US ship-to address. 9/13 is Grandparent’s Day!

Not just tech triumphs, the

PO is a self-fulfilling sinking

You think it’s not coming?  You must be a fantasizer, or you work for the post office! Direct mail, thanks to the US Post Office (AKA US Postal Service) as we know it, is dying a slow, painful suffocating death.

How can that be?  Because direct mail–like commercials being the mainstay of broadcast media–is the mainstay of the US Post Office (AKA US Postal Service), and the US Post Office is on the way to gasping its last few breaths.

I noted here  a few days ago that the US Postal Service is reported to have processed 203 billion pieces of mail during 2008. (That’s 7.700 pieces per second!) Now does that sound like an entity that’s going out of business?

Well, consider that during the same time period,  CTIA reported over one TRILLION text messages were sent. And are you ready for this one? Radicali Group reports –for 2008– that 210 BILLION EMAILS were sent PER DAY. Do the math!

Now take a hard look  at US Postal Service management. It’s a sea of incompetency, which should actually not be any surprise considering the totality of federal government incompetency when it comes to anything involving business.

And no need  to look any further than the banks, automakers, lack of job creation due to 100% lack of small business savvy and support [except for  tokenism from the equally incompetent SBA (Small Business Administration) run, of course, by big business]… or the ridiculous “forced healthcare” proposals on the table. Maybe we should be forced to buy stamps!

Here.  Try a quick review of these two gem blog posts from this past March: the first was mine, criticizing the US Postal Service and the second was from a postmaster who politely tried to defend and then subscribed to the bulk of criticism. (I reproduced his reply in full.)

They speak for themselves  http://halalpiar.com/2009/03/23-lifelines-tossed-to-the-post-office/ and http://halalpiar.com/2009/03/hawaii-postmaster-responds-to-postal-service-critique/

It’s beginning to look  like it’s going to take more suffering before government gets a wake-up call that the only answer to our economic woes is going to come from small business job creation and the privatization of government agencies.

Unless agencies  like US Postal Services can be run like real businesses by being market competitive and operated for profit, they will cease to exist. The Post Office is on its way out. And like a sinking ship’s treasures, it’s taking the direct mail industry along with it.

# # #  

Input aways welcome:

Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US or comment below.

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! 

When you find one, let him go!

     Hatching a business that hatches a business may seem like a lot of hatching, but is it? Isn’t that what entrepreneurs thrive on? I’ve always thought one of the most endearing (and maddening) traits of an entrepreneur is that she reinvents herself about as often as the sun rises.

     Why do you think that is?

     Because she can, some would answer, or–in other words– entrepreneurs have more freedom to swing so they do. But a truer assessment would probably revolve around the innovative thought patterns that jump from one thing to another.

     Entrepreneurs are not typically great planners. Planning is for corporate muckity-mucks who need to justify their existences. And don’t those poor souls live to justify themselves? Entrepreneurs live for the next venture. Often these occur within the very depths of the existing venture, and VOILA! New business is born!

     But don’t get the wrong idea here. Entrepreneurs are not the wild, out-of-control risk takers Hollywood would have us believe (but then, nothing on Earth is probably farther from reality than those out-of-touch “stars”  the media sells us). Entrepreneurs, as chance would have it, take only reasonable risks.

     What this means is that we might be keeping a jaundiced eye (yucht!) on a venturesome friend or relative and thinking he had gone off the deep end, and is on the precipice of colossal failure, and quickly grab him by the shirtsleeve and try to pull him back from the edge.

     But, no! Not only does this reckless friend or relative disregard our grasping and shouting, he actually gets resentful, like we were blocking sidewalk passage or something.

     Entrepreneurs, true entrepreneurs thrive on precipice balancing. It’s part of what will lead them to the next big opportunity. And here’s the catch: It just LOOKS reckless to us because most of us don’t parachute out of planes or surf Hawaii’s giant waves.

     But TRUE entrepreneurs are in control of their fates, have a firm idea of direction; they don’t worry about finish lines; they look for every option and opportunity; they risk only what appears likely to succeed, and never as recklessly as most of us probably imagine.

     When you find one, let him go!  

 # # #  

Input aways welcome: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in    subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  

# # #

This blog free via list-protected email: click “Posts RSS Feed” (center col.) or $1.99/month on AMAZON Kindle. Creative? Add your own 7 words to the 311 day “7-Word Story” (under RSS) We’re making it up as we go! Hal Alpiar short story in Sept. release book from Nightengale Press: THE ART OF GRANDPARENTING Amazon, Barnes & Noble, OR order special (signed by Hal) pre-publication $22.45 total check only (includes s&h), payable & mail to: TheWriterWorks.com, LLC @PO Box 1236, Millsboro, DE 19966. Include continental US ship-to address. 9/13 is Grandparent’s Day! [See Blogroll]

The Importance

of Being Earnest

                                                                                     — Oscar Wilde

     First of all, promotional emails that are well-done are well done because they are an earnest attempt to sell or promote a quality product or service in a highly personalized (and/or recipient opt-in) way. When emails meet these criteria, it’s hard to dismiss them as junk. 

     Does that make it okay to send them out? It depends on the circumstances, but odds are if your message is sincere, backed with integrity, not insulting, and actually has something informing, educational, reassuring, or entertaining to say, it’s perfectly okay in my book.

     But how do you get an email to accomplish all that? It’s not easy. The subject line has to be fitting, provocative, persuasive, spelled correctly, punctuated correctly, creative, have and suggest a purpose, demonstrate the ability to relate, and literally shout of legitimacy.

     And that’s just to get it opened. When’s the last time you opened mail addressed to “Occupant”? Or something that says “Stop Berning Calorees” or “Hey, should something I no four sure be puzzling to you?” You have better examples sitting in your own inbox right now.

     The email message must be simple, straightforward, no BS, get right to the point, read fast, use bullet-points and summaries, use consistent colors, use consistent font styles, use consistent font sizes, use consistent font treatments, use consistent font and line spacing.

     The bottom line is that promotional emails are generally not effective if they’re written as letters, or memos, or print ads, or broadcast scripts, or txtmsgs. They are a combination of the impact and brevity used with billboards, bumper stickers and direct mail pieces.

     They must communicate instantly.

     Headlines and lead-ins are critical and need to attract attention, create interest, stimulate desire, bring about action, and prompt/promote/deliver satisfaction.

     You must ask for the sale and provide as many ways as possible for the respondent to respond/order and as many locations for that as possible without being too obnoxious about it.

     Sign off with a real name and contact information. Include a guarantee. Where you use endorsements or testimonials, provide contact details and don’t gloss over names/titles/affiliations/credentials. Promotional emails can work for you if you’re willing to work to make them work.

# # #  

 Hal@TheWriterWorks.com  or comment below.

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God bless you!

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

NO business is worth

your family!

     With the odds for success practically in the minus zone, it’s a wonder that family businesses–including, of course, formal partnerships–ever survive at all, never mind continue to be born on a daily basis.

     I mean I’ve always thought human beings were gluttons for punishment, especially in business and especially in family life. And here we have a non-stop wave of people actually putting the two lunatic fringes together, and calling them “family businesses.” 

     Maybe instead of LLC (for Limited Liability Corporation), these undertakings (pardon the expression) should be designated LMD (for Limited Maniacal Dysfunctionality).

     What kind of a nut case do you have to be to go into business with your brother-in-law? You never liked each other to start with. He’s a lazy good-for-nothing snail brain who prefers sitting in the back room watching TV and drinking beer to waiting on customers and stocking shelves.

     Oh, you’re a law firm? Sorry. Actually, that makes it all a whole lot worse; arguing over a TV and can of beer is nothing compared to suits and counter suits… and bad suits. Husband and wife team? HA! For how long?

     It takes a VERY special relationship for a couple, or any family members, to make things work in a business setting. There are natural authority and responsibility levels attached to family membership that almost necessarily spill over into the business.

     Family business partners need to work harder at not taking business too far into home life. It’s a good idea for couples to paint a red line across the bedroom doorway (one couple I know uses yellow “CAUTION” tape) to serve as a conscious reminder to separate business from personal life.

     Talking through business-related issues before heading home should be a goal if you want your personal relationship to stay healthy. When something needs to come home for discussion, do it in a home office, or porch or basement or backyard, but keep it away from the kitchen, the bedroom, the family room, and the dinner table.

     It takes two to tango goes the old expression; it takes two to drag business into personal home space. CHOOSE to detach yourself from potential confrontations. Home office? Keep it there when you leave the workspace. You need to work at this together. It doesn’t happen by itself.

     Father & Son, Mother & Daughter, Husband & Wife, Brothers & Sisters, In-Laws, Cousins, Aunts & Uncles: Talk to each other about it. More importantly, LISTEN to each other about it. RESPECT each other’s privacy and need for quiet time.

     When you push the limits, you push the relationships, and if one collapses, it all collapses. If you’re going to do this insane family business thing, do it in a spirit of cooperation and trust and mutual respect. Maybe then, you have a chance of making it work!     

# # #  

Hal@Businessworks.US  or comment below.

Thanks for visiting. 

Go for your goals, good night and God bless you!

 Did you let somebody

down this week?

Did someone have expectations that you would do justice to her or him, or to the task at hand…that you would turn in a stellar performance? And you bombed out?

By any chance, was that “someone” who anticipated greatness from you…was that you?

Regardless of whether you did yourself in, or let someone else down, the point is that you flubbed it, right? Badly? So badly that you hate reading this right now because just thinking about it gives you the guilties?

Step back. Get out of your own way for a minute. Take a deep breath and clear your brain. Now look at this again. We’re taught to aim high. Nothing wrong with that.

But if you screwed yourself, figuratively speaking of course, maybe it’s because you weren’t leaving room to be flexible about achieving an outcome?

Maybe you lost sightof the reality that you choose your behavior, that you choose your pursuits–even that you choose to feel guilty. Hmmm, that’s worth choosing to think about.

You didn’t fail anyone else because others don’t have the right to judge you based on expectations. Yeah, well, sounds good, I know, but it’s done every day, probably every minute of every hour. Reality says that more likely than not, it just seems that way.

So, how can you pull the rug out from under faulty assumptions? First don’t make any yourself! You already know about “assume” making an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Recognize that expectations (which are usually based on assumptions) breed disappointment.

Unless you work at not having expectations and at not making assumptions, you will do both. Then comes failure to rise to the occasion. Then comes disappointment and then along comes guilt. You remember guilt?

      THE FIX:

• Keep conscious control of your unconscious mind by focusing on the present here-and-now moment each passing moment as much as you possibly can.
• Don’t waste energy dwelling on past fantasies that cannot be changed and don’t wast energy worrying about future fantasies that haven’t yet come, and may never.
• Do lots of deep breathing to relax muscles and make your mind more alert.
• Withhold judgements as much as possible. (And remember everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!)
• Remember that assumptions, expectations and guilt feelings are all CHOICES, and that it’s just as easy to choose a positive attitude as it is to choose a negative one.

   # # #  

 Hal@TheWriterWorks.com or 931.854.0474  Thanks for visiting. 

Go for your goals, good night and God bless you!

It’s the Lightening Up

of Corporate America!

     You’re a management trainer and corporate economic climates have taken the wind out of your sails. You’re looking around for community college adult education courses to run. You’re doing drips and drabs of HR consulting with some old friends. Times are tighter than your shoelaces. 

     Stop beating yourself up; stop doing all the things you’ve always advised and taught others to not do. Take some of those deep breaths you advocate. The message is this: L-I-G-H-T-E-N    U-P ! Lighten up the programs you’re proposing. Companies do not want any in-depth, heavy-duty, psycho-analytic training programs for their managers right now!

     They want L-I-G-H-T agendas combined with good relaxing fun and team-building. Corporate America may be stupid about growing business and productivity ratios and revenue streams and job creation, but they know when it’s time to lighten up the stress that their loyal managers have been shouldering. 

     And it’s time now.

     I had my own management training company for many years. I ran over 2,000 workshops and training programs, and had over 20,000 participants in 50 different cities and half a dozen different countries.

     It was everything from Maslow’s Hierarchy to Quality Circles, One-Minute Manager, TA, Theory X, TheoryY, Theory Z, Empowerment, Assertiveness Training, Anger Management, and my own inventions: Corporate Entrepreneurship, Doctorpreneurs and Teacherpreneurs.  

     Then is not now. Then corporate executives charged trainers with the responsibility to teach them how to be better, more effective, more efficient, more productive executives and how to be better humans. This took some doing, and tons of analytical diagnostics and psychotherapy.

     Today, the word is L I G H T. As in S I M P L E and having F U N while gaining firsthand leadership and teamwork experiences with fellow employees. A best buddy of mine, Kevin Bousquet, who runs Interlaken Inn Executive Resort & Conference Center www.InterlakenInn.com in Northwest Connecticut, agrees.

     You may have seen my plugs here for Interlaken. It truly is THE premier business escape (2 hours/NYC and 3 hours/BOS) with the finest location, facility, amenities, meals, service AND budget-conscious prices that any management trainer or meeting planner will find. (If you call, tell Kristy I sent you and get a special gift!)

     Kevin tells me that the programs that are having the most success are those with the least stress and the most fun. Not all fun and games, but fun and learning. Interlaken’s Executive Ropes Course, lakefront boating and golf options and gourmet challenge programs are the busiest and most talked-about. Dump the heavy stuff!

Think of it as the Lightening Up of Corporate America!  

# # #  

Input always welcome: Hal@BusinessWorks.US

(”Businessworks” in subject line) or comment below.

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals and God bless you!