The Internet Challenge and A Couple of Laughs
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU-KNOW-WHAT HAPPENS? |
It used to be that the only shovelfuls of you-know-what that hit the proverbial fan were flung at us relentlessly from our TV screens. And still we need only watch about 6 seconds worth of any network news broadcast (and how amazing these have not yet come to be called opinion broadcasts) to know that this bull you-know-what stuff is still spewing (splattering? Ugh!) forth about every other tick of the clock.
So TV-after-Sesame-Street actually has some value. It taught us boredom. It taught us all how to not step in you-know-what. (Curiously, though, some who make it big are said to have stepped there. Hmmm. Go figure.)
And then along comes the Internet: a truly remarkable and revolutionizing challenge to our senses. Compared to TV, which puts it right out there, the Internet rolls it all up in clandestine little balls and tucks it neatly into our pockets, between the sheets, into overhead compartments, and under our tongues (well, okay, the tongue thing is pretty disgusting, even after being ordered to eat you-know-what!)
We have mastered TV you-know-what, but we’re being tricked everyday by the Internet versions. Can you forever avoid opening a spam email? Isn’t there always that one-time appearance of an old lover’s name in the FROM column, just enough to trigger-finger that mouse of yours into a giant porno pop-up that blazes your trail for 6 months of Pfizer Viagra email you-know-what?
How about all the websites that start you out with a free ebook download – a terrific 7-Step Action Plan for boosting sales and winning 635 new customers by 9am tomorrow — that takes up two whole paragraphs buried in 19 pages of splendorous full-color you-know-what sales spiels.
And what else could this innocent little download website possibly be selling except (Aha!) replacement color print cartridges that you just dried up in exchange for your email address that now entitles you to 476 exciting new junk emails a week for life. TV was never like this.
With TV, you change the channel. With the Internet, one slipup, and a little hourglass guy jumps in your face and freezes your screen to the point where you either heave the whole pile of hi-tech you-know-what out the window, or you start banging on your 15 year-old neighbor’s door to see if you can pry the iPod loose long enough to enlist some hourglass killing skills at a hundred bucks an hour. AW, YOU-KNOW-WHAT!
Well, here you are, a respected (let’s hope) business owner. You’ve worked your butt off to get where you are and build your business, working nights and weekends. Your geeky brother-in-law works four-day weeks out of his bedroom closet in his pajamas selling search engine optimization services online and makes twice as much as you.
No you-know-what! That you-know-what head?
TV taught us to relax and let down our guards because all of it is no-brainer you-know-what. The Internet has forced us to arm ourselves, and be forever on the alert to keep our businesses out of the deep hmmm-hmmm-hmmm. Internet business buyers beware!
Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US
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