Feuding Families,

Combative Couples,

Peeved Partners  and

Belligerent Boards

Constant arguing, bitter and mean-spirited discussions, “business infidelity,” resentment, continuous bickering and back-biting, breaking trust and undermining confidences, changing changes.

. . . I want out and it’s time to go!

Or, as the renown Scottish farmer/poet Robert Burns’ prophesied in 1786 with his “Ode To A Wee Mouse” in what may be the world’s most quoted and paraphrased bits of advice: “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.” (often go awry, or wrong)   

                                                        

How can you continue with the financial problems? The Mission and Vision disagreements? Operational differences? Business expansion and “parenting” plans vs. consolidation?

Do your business and business relationships look increasingly fragile? Are partners distancing themselves? Does collapse seem imminent?

Divorce between married couples is now in the mainstream of American life, and unfortunately serves to set the table for acceptance at a business level. What else is a business partnership besides a marriage? And family business upheavals can be the worst of all because they frequently involve or contaminate marriage relationships that are the very underpinning of a business structure.   

And those who are caught in the middle typically suffer the most. In a couple marriage relationship, it’s the children. In a business partnership it’s the partner families, employees, employee families, investors, suppliers and vendors and last, but not least, the customers! Nor does the damage line always stop there. In many instances, a neighborhood, community, town, region, industry or profession can also be negatively affected.

Ways to patch things up:

Start with giving the other person or people involved the benefit of doubt. You got into this relationship because something was extremely positive. By re-focusing on whatever that was, you may find that existing differences can be easily reconciled. Isn’t it worth a try? Don’t you have a lot invested in each other? Wouldn’t it be easier to move the business forward if differences could be worked out than to simply part ways and have to start all over again?    

So here’s the plan:                             

• If you can get past that first step of thinking, sit down and write out on paper with a pen, a statement of agreement to seek to resolve differences. Each principal involved in the dissension climate must be willing to do this.

• Exchange copies of these statements without commenting or responding.

• Plan a follow-up Q&A clarification discussion the next day (no rebuttals permitted) to review one another’s comments.

• Plan an open discussion of the Q&A clarification discussion a week or so later.                                    

• Next, and again something all involved must be willing to do: write out one sentence on paper that identifies exactly what you identify as the most critical problem.

• Then each needs to write out clear specific improvements desired in the form of a goal statement that is specific, flexible, realistic, and has a due date. 

Or get professional counseling:

An “outside” consultant who is experienced and skilled in both business management and human relations can help each individual involved put her/his differences in writing, channel productive exchanges, and foster committed attitudes aimed toward working through the differences.

A professional can help set up a recovery path with a schedule for renewable  efforts, and a contingency exit plan that can serve to strike a balance and encourage renewed efforts to make things work. Many leadership training-based organizations can provide assistance in identifying and retaining qualified coach/counselors.

This is always a better solution-approach than slamming the door and walking out! And it just might work! 

 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

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