good thing when someone 

else does it TO you.

In business, industry, education, government, real estate, food and gas pricing, or otherwise, “CHANGE” is hardly ever a good thing when somebody else does it TO you.  Change is only meaningful and rewarding when YOU can make it happen for your SELF. 

When change is done TO you, it prompts inaction, resistance and excuses.  When you create and deliver change for your SELF, you are more likely to take ownership of the steps involved, and follow the process through with greater determination to make it happen.  

“Okay, Joe, from now on, you’re going to have to print out, copy, and collate three copies of the daily 75 pages of inventory activity that you were just submitting by email before.  The two new bosses want hard copies, and of course I’ll need one too.  Oh, and you may want to run a fourth as a sort of cover-your-butt set that you can check with if questions arise.”    

How does that feel compared with:

“Joe, the new bosses are impressed with your work, and are interested in seeing your inventory spreadsheets without having to jump around on their computer screens since they’re not as good at that as you are; could you come up with a method that you think might work better for them, something that doesn’t require a lot of your time?” 

                              

Do you think one of these approaches might serve to motivate more than the other?

“Gwyneth, I want you to clean up your room right this minute, or you’ll not get dessert after dinner!”

OR

“Gwyneth, I’m concerned about the condition of your room; dirt, you know, breeds bacteria that can make you sick; would you please take some time right now to come up steps you can take to get your room shaped up by dinner-time every night? And let’s start tonight. Please let me know your plan when I stop back in ten minutes. Thank you.”

Notice the focus is on HOW a task can get done.  NON-productive emphasis is on WHY did you screw up, or on what threats might prompt action, or on implying some level of personal incompetence. 

When you ask someone WHY? you will only ever get a reason or excuse for an answer.  When you ask HOW? you’re prompting the other person to evaluate, assess, and recommend process steps, without suggesting any personal shortcomings.

HOW to get others to make changes happen for themselves?  Remember that behavior is always a choice.  You can choose to not react.  If you don’t react, you will never overreact!  You will be more effective in controlling and helping yourself and others to more effectively control behavior and accomplish tasks. 

Remember: If you need to criticize, criticize behavior, not the person.  And do it in private.  Save audiences for giving praise!