How un-balanced ARE you?

No matter how much you may think you are in tune or in touch with yourself, if you own or operate or manage a business –new. old, big, small, medium, family, self-employed or otherwise– take it from me who’s experienced all of the above firsthand: you are UN-balanced!

This means that negative stress is seeping in. It’s invading you even as you think it’s not. And it’s taking it’s toll.

How to regain control? First, you need to know where it’s coming from. Odds are it’s some combination of emotional, intellectual, and physical upset or dysfunction. The challenge is to isolate how much is coming from where and when, then to determine the how.

Once you have done an honest self-evaluation, you’re in a better position to reverse the flow and the damage.

Aaah, but this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Read that How to regain control paragraph again.

In some rare instances, it may be just a matter of seconds, minutes or hours to do all these analytics (and you thought analytics were just for SEO geeks doing website tricks?), but if you’re serious about rising to the occasion and getting your act together, be prepared to take days or weeks or months.

(Maybe years!)

Once you’ve done a be-honest-with-yourself inventory (like the doctor’s diagnostic work-up), separate and identify the key issues or stress points that seem to be creating or causing the most unbalance. Put them on paper or in a Word file bullet list. Prioritize by ranking them with 1-3 or 1-10 values in order of most critical (usually this translates to most immediate need).

Consider your own self-prognosis. What’s the best and worst you can expect in terms of timing and accomplishing the tasks associated with eliminating or minimizing the culprit behaviors or influences? What’s the quickest/easiest/smartest/safest way to get back in balance?

Okay, that’s the hardest part. Now initiate treatment. Simple? No. Painless? Pr0bably not. But much easier than the process steps needed to honestly assess and evaluate. After all, you are the only one who can unbalance you. And you are also the only one who can regain control. Bottom line: Nothing happens until you do!

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HAL ALPIAR Writer/Consultant 302.933.0911 TheWriterWorks.com, LLC

National Award-Winning Author & Brand Marketer – Record Client Sales

Open Minds Open Doors

When is a pat on the back

actually a kick in the butt?

A client tells you your service is great, then complains about it later to others. Assuming nothing changed along the way to erode the value of your praiseworthy performance, your sense of anguish may simply be the result of of a mixed message. Mixed messages find their way into everyday business exchanges with increasing regularity.

“Pretty good job . . . for a woman!” is a typical example. “You’re doing this the right way, but you need to slow down and think it through better!” is another. Have you ever heard something like: “We need to move forward with plans to collaborate, but not at the expense of our own department (division, team, group)?”

Mixed messages are nonproductive. Mixed messages often couch hidden agendas. Unlike much problem solving that requires “two to tango” and cannot be realistically addressed by a single entity alone, mixed message situations can be resolved by one person taking preventive measures. These include paraphrasing, note taking, feedback, diagramming, and offering/ requesting examples. 

1)  PARAPHRASING. Instead of simply taking statements at face value and then squirming with them later, ask: “Do I understand you correctly to mean . . . (and repeat back what you think you heard, using your own words)?”

2)  NOTE TAKING. The biggest problem with note taking is that most people do not take notes. And even when they do, they fail to directly request the speaker to allow for it. “Would you mind please slowing down on (or repeating) that point for me  so I can make note of it because I don’t want to forget what you said.” is not just called for; it’s flattering to the speaker. But write it!!

3)  FEEDBACK. Speakers need to pause periodically and take inventory: “How are we doing here so far? Do you have any questions? Is all of this information clear?” Listeners need to politely interrupt periodically and take inventory: “Excuse me. Can we take a ‘Time Out’ minute here to summarize this last bit of information? I want to make sure I understand what you mean.” Write it!!

4)  DIAGRAMS. When speaker or listener is not 100% sure that communications are clear, ask for a diagram of the information; arranging keywords and ideas visually helps ensure accuracy, and can often illuminate a new perspective.

5)  EXAMPLES. Ask for them. Very few exchanges of information fail to become transparently clear when examples are offered and discussed.

Getting tangled up in miscommunication can be frustrating and annoying, and stressful. One person who is determined to “get it right” the first time, and who is willing to accept that it may take longer and be more work, will ultimately experience greater accuracy in dealing with others, and accuracy spells success.                               

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 P L E A S E   N O T E   N E W  D I R E C T   P H O N E   N U M B E R

HAL ALPIAR Writer/Consultant  302.933.0911 TheWriterWorks.com, LLC

 National Award-Winning Author & Brand Marketer – Record Client Sales