Apr 05 2011
Dealing With Psychos
Mixed in with your Employees,
Customers, Vend0rs, SalesReps,
Investors: is a “Psycho” or two!
Channel-surfing the other night, a woman addicted for over twenty years to daily feasting on toilet paper! I was promptly reminded that there are weirdos everywhere, and the business world is no exception. Thankfully, I never had to work with the likes of a TP-eating sicko, but I have had to deal with some genuine head cases, and guess what?
The task is not as impossible as it may seem at first. The key is to separate yourself emotionally from the smoking volcano. Rise above it and give it as much space and patience as possible.
You don’t want to be a shrink?
Sometimes in life, when you’ve directly or indirectly chosen to box yourself into an undesirable situation, there’s no choice.
On those occasions (which hopefully are rare), turn on your alert system without setting off any alarms. Tune in to what’s in front of you. Take some deep breaths to help yourself get focused. Contact your inner “adult” — the part of you that’s calm and caring and empathetic but that’s –as Thoreau once urged us to be– forever on the alert.
Recognize that your self-identity (how you see yourself) needs to step back and your personality (how others see you) needs to step up. People who are in difficult emotional or mental states (or physically ill or injured) will rarely have any interest in what you think of yourself. It’s difficult for them to think much beyond their own skin.
If you’ve ever had any practice with a cranky baby or temper tantrum toddler, you’re way ahead of the game.
Instead of trying to override or overpower a troubled individual, try to “buy into” a compatible level of relating and then exercise a gently persistent adult-like tone. Without being bossy or pushy or demanding, simply be rational and understanding. Be persuasive by not allowing yourself to get drawn into the other person’s dilemma or issues.
Does all this take time and effort? Is it hard work?
Hey, do shrinks get burned out?
It’s definitely not a frame of mind you want to be in for any lengthy period of time, but it’s also one that –if you make up your mind to commit your energy to assisting someone else instead of thinking about yourself– gives you an opportunity to help an unbalanced someone to gain enough stability to function without the presence of threat.
If your own personality tends to be explosive, you may want to stay in your rubber room and not deal with others at all, but then, you wouldn’t be much of a leader, would you? Business success requires leadership at every level, not just sales or just innovative thinking or just financial management. People are your most important asset!
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“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]