Archive for the 'Change' Category

Nov 18 2008

AUTHENTICITY RE-VISITED

Kick your own butt? 

                                                                                             

     Yesterday, we talked some about the importance of being genuine (apologies to all you Ernests out there), and we did a brief inventory to see how obnoxious we were. 

     We touched on some ways to shore up the self-indulgence landslide brought on by trying to impress others, by acting controlling, by exaggerating, by glossing over, by constantly talking and posturing, by trying to act like the boss instead of just behaving like a leader. 

     Being more authentic as a human being earns respect.  Being more of what genuinely makes you tick may feel risky at times but in the end, commands loyalty, sets powerful examples, and delivers sales.  That was the gist of the message.  Of course I tossed in a couple of spoonfuls of my Father for good measure. 

     Today I want to know how much more authentic you can be than you were yesterday?  How much more conscious of your need to grow in this direction are you, or do you need to be?  What will work best to kick your own butt?  Can you start being a more authentic person the minute you click off this screen?

     The point here is that no one can really tell you what you need to do or how you need to do it except you!  YOU are the only human being on the entire planet who knows the REAL you, who knows your real potential.  Are you measuring up to what you know you’re capable of? 

     Or are you feeling like a downed-out failure?  With thanks for the referral to worldclass Internet “HARO” network genius Peter Shankman www.HelpAReporter.com, try this quick-fix for your brain (P.S. Kathy says we should watch it regularly!):   

http://wimp.com/bigfailures/      

     Oh, and on your way to becoming the very best you can be, get in the habit of making something wonderful happen every day before you go to sleep –like right now! 

     No excuses.  What were you planning to do after reading this page anyway?  Take an extra minute.  Think of some outstanding happy thing you could do or say that could make the whole day a great one for you or someone else — some words or action that will make you grin as your head hits the pillow tonight.

     If you already did something wonderful today, congratulations and thank you and go to bed!  You’ll need the sleep.  Why?  Because when you wake up tomorrow . . . you will be facing the greatest opportunity of your entire life!  Halalpiar

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Nov 17 2008

Growing Your AUTHENTICITY

This isn’t the movies and

                                                   

you’re not in Hollywood! 

                                             

     What?  You thought you would be finding more hard core “sales-and-business” stuff here?  Well, working on your authenticity is the most genuine and arguably most important sales-and-business stuff you could ever set your sights on. 

     Businesses (and salespeople) succeed or fail based on how authentically they come across to their internal and external markets. 

     What your employees and suppliers think –for example– of the approaches you take to managing your business, or piece of the business you’re charged with, will positively impact your reputation, sales, and of course customer relations, even R&D projects!

     So, don’t be bashful; let’s take a little inventory.  How much of every day do you waste time and energy “playing the boss role” (making power plays, flexing your internal politics muscle, acting controlling, acting like a know-it-all, exaggerating your accomplishments, glossing over your errors) instead of just “being” the leader? 

     How much, in other words, do you try to influence others by attempting to impress them vs. simply gaining their respect by relating to them at their individual levels? 

     This isn’t the movies and you’re not in Hollywood. 

     Regardless of their stations in life, everyone in your daily path brings a certain energy to bear on each issue.  I grew up in an obscure, dilapidated, 3-room, third floor walk-up apartment next to the railroad tracks in one of America’s richest communities. 

     And if that sounds paradoxical, consider that my father was a mailman, whose advice was sought after daily by mayors, police chiefs, doctors, and Congressmen.  He was confided in by top “Fortune 500” corporate executives, and trusted by well-known authors, columnists, and artists. 

     He was a “closet confidant” to many big-name radio and TV personalities who lived in our low-profile, waterfront village north of New York City.

     How was this possible?  Harry escaped the ravages of genocide and came to America as a six year-old waif with a handful of rice.  He had no formal education, but he considered every encounter everyday as genuine and meaningful. 

     Harry listened carefully, spoke and laughed and cried from his heart, and never pretended to be someone he wasn’t.  He was quick to admit he didn’t have all the answers.  He was a character, all right.  He was the Norman Rockwell style   www.nrm.org/ personification of humility.

     He would have been a smash success at any business venture, but he liked who he was, he liked what he did, and he respected his “customers.”  In spite of his faults, and too much whiskey, he was nonetheless a success at being himself!  And he made sure his two sons grew up to appreciate the values of authenticity.

     In my thirty years of business coaching, consulting, and training, I can attest to this single quality as that which separates successful people and businesses from the wannabees, hasbeens and alsorans: authenticity.  It needn’t be perfect; but it does need to be vigilently practiced and consistently pursued.  How’s yours?  Halalpiar  

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Nov 16 2008

WHEN DID YOU LAST . . .?

What ARE you looking

                                             

to do with your life?  

                                                                                  

     Okay, your business is your life, or at least a humongous chunk of your life, yes?  That’s great.  I love my work and consider myself fortunate to be doing what I most enjoy as my means to earning a living so we’re in this together.  BUT . . .

     When did you last break away from your job

and thinking about your job to . . . hug? 

                                                                   

     Renowned Gestalt-based family therapist/author/icon Virginia Satir www.advanta.net/ said it takes 12 hugs a day to grow emotionally strong.  And you do know that being mentally and/or physically strong enough to do your job effectively, and excel, requires that you also be emotionally strong. 

     What good are you as a business or professional practice owner or manager if your emotional scale is tipped too far to the left or teetering on the edge of a breakdown, temper tantrum, road rage, or worse? 

     So what does your scorecard look like?  How many hugs today?  You initiated them or someone else did?  Planned or spontaneous?  Real or token?  Pitter-pattery or bone-crushing?  Start keeping track.  You’ll learn a whole lot about others and your self.  And the more you know about you, the better you’ll deal with others.

     Ah, dealing with others.  Right.  So now that your cage is arattlin’, lets’ try another quiz: When did you last pat someone on the back for a job well done?  A staff member?  A peer?  A teammate?  An opposing team member?  A child?  A parent?  A stranger?  Your spouse?  A customer?  A partner? 

     People –ALL people (and most domestic animals too)– appreciate being appreciated, especially for performing small deeds and accomplishing routine little tasks that ordinarily go unnoticed.

     Try a pat on the back accompanied by: “Thanks for taking the responsibility to do your homework before playing computer games!” or “Thanks for the great dinner; I really enjoyed that salad!” or “Good job with that regular weekly report; it’s nice to see your efforts be so steady and reliable!” or “Good hustle, Harry; you were almost safe, and you did knock in that run!” or “I don’t ever mention it, but you should know I appreciate that you just automatically do so much laundry every week, and never even complain; thank you!” 

     Or just: “Thank you for helping me become the person I am” or “Thank you for helping me become a more authentic person” or “Thank you for helping me to grow” or “Thank you for being so supportive when I needed it!” 

IF WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN LIFE, START BY MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE WAYS YOU SUPPORT AND APPRECIATE OTHERS. 

     In the process, you will “happily surprise” others, but you will astonish your self!  Guaranteed!  Thank you for considering these ideas! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US    302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Nov 15 2008

GIANT differences TEETER on brink of food war!

When you can offer customers 

                                                                    

a clear differential, do it! 

                                               

     I know most men shy away from grocery shopping, but I’ve always enjoyed it.  I like seeing what’s new . . . products, services, promotions, packaging, pricing, fresh offerings (fish, meat, deli, bakery, produce). 

     I am what market researchers refer to as a “high tryer” for new and different items, especially those that never made it to THE list because they were considered too new and different by the List Boss! 

     Besides, when I tag along, I can also see firsthand all the wonderful savings most men only get to hear about (as in, “I saved over $50 on groceries today because I had my coupons and was able to get 437 twenty-four-packs of paper towels that were on sale!”)

     So, anyway, as I walked ten feet inside the front door of GIANT Supermarket, that has purportedly been losing customers to the new more upscale HARRIS TEETER supermarket down the street that caters to Yuppiedom descendents, I was confronted by a display of sorts featuring two shopping carts. 

     One cart was labeled GIANT.  It was filled to the brim with food products and accompanied by an actual GIANT itemized cash register receipt (under a heavy plastic lid covering the cart) for some total amount like $97. 

     Next to that was a second shopping cart labeled HARRIS TEETER that displayed the same products as cart #1, but was accompanied by an actual HARRIS TEETER itemized cash register receipt (same date as the GIANT receipt) for some total amount like $155. The amounts are likely wrong, but the impression was not. 

     When you can offer customers a clear differential, do it! 

     Even though I guess I knew there were significant price differences between the two supermarkets, and often would go to the more expensive one anyway just because I liked the atmosphere there, I must confess I haven’t forgotten this little piece of GIANT supermarket showmanship, and am now forced to question my own sanity for spending so much more for the same products. 

     Now I realize, the display –of necessity– was mostly dry packaged goods.  It would, after all, be a bit hard on both customers and staff, if the carts included week-old fish or ice cream or black bananas and gray hamburger for example, but it didn’t matter.  Like taking a called third strike that’s right down the middle of the plate: you have to accept it and walk away without arguing.  There was no arguing with this display.  It did it’s job. 

     When you show customers a fair and balanced, objective and clear differential, with an emotional trigger (wallet and pocketbook contents!), you win! 

     Oh, in case you forgot, by the way, thinking and acting like a winner is a choice!  Halalpiar

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Nov 14 2008

You’re still WHAT? You’re still SELLING?

“STILL CRAZY AFTER

                                                 

ALL THESE YEARS” 

                                                                                       

     Thank you, Paul Simon.  Yes, I may be.  And, yes, you may be too.  But your music is still the best.  And so are my blog posts (for those of you who are reading this, who are marching, even lumbering, along the road to success) if you’re using the posts like pitstops to fill up with sales fuel. 

     Whaaa?  I’m not even a salesperson!  BRRRrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaat!  Wrong!  You ARE a salesperson, even if you’re a ballerina, even if you’re a roofer, even if you’re a brain surgeon, or candy apple maker, or homemaker, or rocket scientist, or truck driver, or school teacher, or priest, or (add your own titles here).  You’ve been selling since birth! 

     ALL OF US are actively engaged in selling and the sales process every waking moment of our lives.  Of course we are.  When we’re not trying to convince others to buy our products and services, we’re attempting to persuade them to buy into our ideas and beliefs and wishes. 

     And when we’re not doing any of the above (like when we’re vegging out in some yoga class or on a nature walk), don’t our minds slip into some self-talk?  Don’t we inevitably tell ourselves to do or feel or say something, or not do or feel or say something? 

     Aw, c’mon, Hal, that’s stretching it a bit don’t you think?  Aha!  And isn’t that little question a mini sales pitch all by itself?  (And that last question as well!)  Probably the longest we succeed at removing our minds from some sales process is when we’re watching some no-commercial-interruptions no-brainer movie, and even then our minds will go slip-slidin’ away (Thanks again, Paul!). 

     How long can you play with a baby or even a pet without thinking about something to buy or sell or convince someone of something related to the baby or pet?

     Here’s what’s important:

To recognize and accept that life is all about sales and that that’s okay! 

     On the opposite end, by the way, it’s estimated that each of us (in the U.S.) is exposed to close to 5,000 sales or advertising or promotional messages every single day.  That’s like a bombardment even if it’s only 2,500. 

     So, what this should tell you is that YOUR sales messages are very easily lost in the clutter, like a sling-shot pellet in the midst of thousands of major explosives (Yes, I too have been anxiously awaiting the 11/23 season preview of the all new “24” TV series, so yes, I am thinking more about edge-of-the-seat firepower than I might ordinarily). 

     Your sales message must stand out, with the right words, the right look, the right feel, the right impact, and the right back-up support (from servicing to warranties and beyond!).  

     And getting to that point requires strong product/service knowledge, strong market and competition knowledge, a burning positive attitude, a contagious sense of humor [See yesterday’s post -HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!- below!], the ability to find a need and fill it, outstanding listening skills, and a willingness (like batters and pitchers) to test and adjust and test and adjust and test and adjust.  Halalpiar    

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Nov 13 2008

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA !!!

“Where laughter fails

                    

to heal, it never fails

                                                                             

to ease the pain.”

                                  

  A terminal cancer patient

                                                           

     I am convinced that nothing –nothing– is better medicine or better health food than laughter.  Nothing binds people together like laughter. 

     Laughter is the magic ingredient that’s the single most overwhelming key to success in business, professional practices (I know, it;s hard to imagine laughing lawyers, doctors and accountants, but stay with me here), marriages, families, organizations, and partnerships. 

     I did qualify the professional practice types with the word “success” which may or may not interpret as financial success.  Certainly it’s not in the context of the old medical self-love acknowledgement that “the operation was a success but the patient died.” 

     I’m talking about the success in life success, as in business life, social life, family life, religious life, outdoor life, academic life, you get the idea.  Laughter may not make you a success in any facet of life, but it’s hard as hell to think anyone could get there without it!  Ha! 

     Laughter is a universal symbol of mental and emotional health.  Mental and emotional health is increasingly credited by experts as the central source of physical health.

     Did you get the last laugh when you last laughed?  Or were you simply enjoying the spirit of the moment?  Come to think of it, when did you last laugh?  If you can’t answer this in terms shorter than minutes or hours, you in deep trouble, brother! 

     You better take two aspirin, drink lots of liquids, get to bed, and call me in the morning sounding so hysterical laughing that everyone else in your household thinks you’re sick!  Think you can do that? 

     Oh, and before you make the call, pitter-patter your little bare feet into the bathroom (in all probability, an especially essential trip after drinking lots of fluids anyway), and stick that face of yours in the mirror. 

     Er, maybe take care of the fluids first unless the mirror is, well, you know . . . now SMILE into the mirror!  No, not that dorky make-believe grin you give co-workers when they offer you a bite of their meatball sub or the one you save for the neighbor seconds after stepping backwards in your sneakers onto his Saint Bernard’s fresh deposit in your driveway. 

     I’m talking GENUINE smile here.  Go for it!  What’s the worst thing can happen?  Your significant other asks what you’re doing?  Ha!  “I’m smiling.” is all you have to say. 

     Give it your all.  Teeth.  Cheeks.  Eyes.  Something that will burst into a laugh when you actually realize it’s on your own face!  YOW! 

     Man, what a struggle.  You better start doing a lot more of that.  It’s good for you, uses fewer muscles than a frown, and might even make you some new friends!  Hey, a couple of laughs won’t kill you, y’know.  What’s that commercial?  It’s in you.  Do it.  HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!        

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Hal@Businessworks.US 302.933.0116

Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

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Nov 11 2008

DOOM AND GLOOM? GIMME DIRT IN A ROOM AND A BROOM!

TIME & TIDE & LOST LOTTERIES 

                                                                              

     Well, I’m happy to say that I’m still alive (after thinking about yesterday’s post headline quote), though I am a bit achey after twice sliding (Aha!  Safely!) into second base during my 55+ seniors softball league winter game this morning.  I’d probably be less sore if we’d won. 

     And speaking of not winning, I also got a pile of legal papers today showing that I came pretty close to winning a $600,000+ inheritance from a former student who died last year and surprisingly named me in her will (as the only non-family member, eligible only if none of the four named relatives survived; and I just learned that two didn’t, but then, two did!).  C’est la vie.

     Then my computer service provider was down half the day, and –once again– I failed to win the lottery . . . BUT, you know what?  It was a great day to be alive, and the only thing better will be –tatata-tadah!– tomorrow!  Howcum?  Tomorrow, I get to go to work, and I get to figure out when and how to play in between the work!  It’s like gimme dirt in a room and a broom.  Instant gratification, sweeping.   

     I read where a famous writer, who recently died, was asked who in the world would want to be 90 anyway? He responded, “anyone who’s 89!”

     Well, I have a ways to go yet to get to 89, but you know the older you get, the more seconds (minutes?  hours?) each day that age-related thoughts start to pop into your head.  I remember a 20-something assistant I once had who found out I had just celebrated my 30-something’th birthday, told me I was “older than dirt” because anyone over 30 was older than dirt.  She’s now, let’s see, 35?  Hmmm. 

     What’s the bottom line? (as all the financial wizards of Wall Street inquire in too-little-too-late fashion).  You’ve already heard it.  Maybe if I say it again, you’ll actually think about it.  Maybe you’ll even act on it?  Whoa!  Miracles will never cease!  Ready?  Here it is (again): 

You are only as old as you think you are! 

     Period. 

     Hogwash, you call that?  Well, don’t take my word for it . . . do a survey (better than taking a poll; we’re polled out these days!).  Really!  Ask a bunch of old people what they think about that statement.  Ask yourself!  Me?  Ha!  I’m getting younger every day!Halalpiar        

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Nov 10 2008

STEVE JOB’S DAILY WAKE-UP QUESTION . . .

If today were

                                                    

the last day of my life,

                                                                 

would I want to do what

                                                                   

I am about to do today?”

                                                            

Apple founder Steve Jobs in an inspirational commencement address video my son sent me http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-3827595897016378253&hl posed the question above while noting that he asks it of himself every morning when he wakes up. 

To the young graduates he’s addressing, he says, “Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life!”

How many of us wish we would have heard that advice when we were younger, and of course be able to be tuned in and mature enough to have acted on it?  There is, Jobs points out, “no reason not to follow your heart.”

The point is, it’s never too late.   

I met a 40-something-old plumber today (not “Joe”) who loves plumbing.  I met with two dedicated auto dealership clients (the 40-ish President and the 30-ish IT Manager) of www.igburton.com  and two bright young men (the President and an Account Manager) of www.Delaware.net (eCommerce Services, Custom Web Development, SEM, etc) who clearly enjoy the work they do and the world their business lives in. 

All in the same day, I also spoke with a 50 year-old mother of three who loves mothering, and bought coffee from a (looked to be almost 70) checker at WAWA who obviously liked being a checker at www.wawa.com

Unusual?  ABSOLUTELY.  I sometimes go for weeks on end without encountering anyone who’s happy with what she or he is doing. 

In fact, I’ve heard some study findings that report 90-95% of Americans are not happy in their jobs.  Even if this happens to be only half right, then the bottom line is that a majority (or close to majority) of people in the U.S. are doing lousy work!  What?  If someone’s unhappy at work, he or she is not performing well, and vice versa.  Now just look at this post again before you click off . . . it’s a whole plateful of food for thought!  Halalpiar  

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Nov 09 2008

Network Media Disorder

These networks,” the doctor continued, “and the borderline-Marxist viewpoint candidates they ushered into the spotlight, have managed to captivate and control your brain!”  

     “I’m sorry to tell you this, my friend, but you,” the doctor leered cynically over the tops of his reading glasses as he shifted his stethoscope from his neck to his shoulders and frowned parentally, “you have a severe case of NMD, and I’m going to recommend you go directly to the hospital for some immediate transfusions.  I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”

     “Aaaaah, NMD?  Twenty minutes?” 

     “Well, yes, Network Media Disorder, and, yes, I can squeeze one more patient into my insurance-company-alloted 12-minute maximum-per-patient examination time period, and still have eight minutes to get to the hospital, which is ten minutes away, but I drive fast!”

     “Er, no, Doc!  I’m needing a little bit more explanation from you than that before I go racing over to the ER for this mysterious transfusion that you seem to have prescribed just a little too quick for my liking.  Am I going to die within the next half hour or what?”

     “No, nothing like that.  It’s just that you need immediate attention or –it’s possible within any given hour– you may find that you have allowed yourself to be brainwashed  beyond repair!” 

     The good doctor tugged at his shirtcollar, took a deep breath and proceeded, “You see, by the time the election ended last week, you had already built up a rampaging attachment to CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, TNT, and MSNBC (and MSNBC all by itself is a rather astonishing attachment considering only seven people in all of America actually watch it!).  

     In the process, your dormant benevalence greeted these screaming liberal radical networks with open arms and you were rapidly transformed into a wild-eyed supporter of electing our nation’s most management-inexperienced, Disneyworld-fantasizing team of candidates in all of history. 

     “These networks,” the doctor continued, “and the borderline-Marxist viewpoint candidates they ushered into the spotlight, have managed to captivate and control your brain.  It was not easy, but with at least $650 million in mysterious campaign donations lining their pockets, they could afford to take some bold and assertive thrusts into your skull, and convince you that change was the answer to the world’s problems, and that the candidates they supported were the second coming of the agents of change.

     “. . . and you, my friend bought into it.  Now you must pay the price of setting yourself up to be thoroughly brainwashed.  It’s either a lobotomy or a transfusion of the fair and balanced FOX network, mixed with some Rush and Sean and Michael and Mark and Laura and Greta, and a few other saviors of society.

     “You need these transfusions before the newly elected dictator attempts to disarm talk radio with his backer’s so-called Fairness Doctrine (it could not possibly be more inappropriately named!) . . . an extraordinarily sick platform if you ask me.  So that, in a nutshell, is why I want you to hurry on over to the ER.  The longer you wait, the more these talking heads will infiltrate your brain, the more you become a sheep, and then we will have some truly major medical challenges to face!”

     “Well, it’s true, Doc, I have become addicted.  I mean Wolfe and Katie and the rest really have welcomed me into their network families and I am afraid of missing even C-Span at this point.  I suppose a little re-balancing wouldn’t be such a bad thing.  I mean, I do rotate my tires, even.”        Halalpiar 

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Nov 08 2008

GOT PROBLEMS? PLEAD D’FIFTH!

Take two talkwalks,

                                         

get a good sleep, and 

                                                                          

call me in the morning!

                                                               

     A very dear old student friend once told me she got more out of a couple of talkwalks than she did an entire semester of classes, readings, and studies. 

     Over the years I have recommended the practice to many business partners, management teams, marriage partners, close friends and relatives.  Typically the feedback has been of positive results. 

     With just a couple more weeks ’til the beginning of D’FIFTH (Dysfunctional Family Invasions For The Holidays), it seemed like good timing to suggest that the best way to work through relationship problems is by taking a walk together, far (even a block away will do) from the madding crowds, and talking out the issues, the conflicts, one at a time, shoulder to shoulder, without yelling, and without interrupting. 

     Now, admittedly, this may be a little harder to do than just reading it here, especially if you’re used to punching, slapping, kicking, biting, screaming, shooting, stabbing, hair-pulling, and ear-twisting.

     It starts with an invitation to step outside.  No, not like in the old cowboy movie saloon scenes, when a fight was imminent and nobody wanted to end up winning and then have to get hit with a huge bill for damages.  It’s more like, Hey, David, you old brother-in-law son-of-a-gun, you, how about we take a walk around the block and try out these two Cuban cigars I got? 

     Or: Let’s have a talk about that old girlfriend of yours? (or motorcycle?  or fishing pole?)  You get the idea.  Next, especially if David agrees, is to take a series of deep breaths [Click Magazine Articles tab above to see “Are You Breathing?” for 4-step guidance on this], and then to not inhale if you’re doing the cigar thing! 

     Have a three or four point agenda in your head — things that will clear the decks so to speak, level the playing field — junk you’d like to square away with this hardass, but don’t want to end up in a stuffing and cranberry sauce fight right after saying grace.  Y’know? 

     You need a little mental bullet list of subjects you can save up and put out there on the sidewalk in front of you as you do this walk.  Oh, and if you only have wooded trails around, maybe just hoof it around the basement a few laps, particularly if David is an outdoorsy type or has a rifle in his pick-up.

     The idea is to: 1) isolate the key points that are troubling you, 2) explain what you’ve been feeling and thinking about, 3) offer some options you can think of, and 4) ask for comments, ideas, and feedback (sometimes it’s best to set up #4 before beginning with #1.)  Be sure if you need to be critical, to criticise behavior, not the person.  Make a point of not interrupting, and of asking David to do the same, as you explain your thoughts.  Keep taking deep breaths.  Keep walking.  Keep talking.  Keep listening.

     Happy talkwalks!  . . .  Halalpiar 

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