Stop shooting yourself

in the Subject Line!

     I had occasion today and yesterday to delete a few thousand emails that had accumulated at an old, unused email address. 99.9% of them (including substantial numbers from leading name companies) had subject line copy that was too stupid for a 6 year-old to consider opening.

     Okay, I realize the vast majority of these were spam, but you would have to be from Pluto or Uranus to think you could find value in clicking open emails with Subject copy like:

• Get Yore Advanced Collage Decree Today: EZ and cheep [I gather we’d not be talking about a Master of Fine Arts in Writing here.]  
• Women will cling to you day and night[This is not something I can imagine a desirable state of existence regardless of gender.]
• Hi. Angelina here. I missed hereing from you[Wow! An old acquaintance; I mist you two!]
• Jumpstart your customer base now! They’ll come rushing to your door with their wallets out! [Not sure that jumpstarts are such a good idea for my surgeon clients! And not many doctors run anywhere with their wallets open anyway!]
• Call Today! Start Earning $10,000 A Week Immediately![Okay. let’s see, that’s $520,000 a year. Hmmm, not bad. Must be a steroid franchise!]

     You get the idea. And you surely get your own fair share as well. The point is that there’s also a very large and very successful email marketing medium out there that is thriving because the people involved are professional enough to recognize that GREAT Subject line copy gets emails opened.

     What makes it great?

1. First (like the ingredients and message of every great direct mail campaign envelope), it’s as personalized as can possibly be.
2. Second (like the copy for every great billboard and branding theme), it’s seven words or less that tell a story that has a beginning, middle and ending and is persuasive!
3. Third (like every great ad and every great marketing campaign), it succeeds at attracting attention, creating interest, stimulating desire, and bringing about action while assuring satisfaction.

     WHEW! That’s a lot of stuff for one email Subject line! Yup! And it takes a lot of time and special skill that can often be pricey. But, how important is it to get your email advertisement opened to start with?

     Remember: no matter how spectacular your message is inside, it’s not worth a hand of sand if your prospect doesn’t open it.   

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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“It Don’t Matter To Me!”

     That song title should be your answer (aside from the ungrammatical “don’t”) to any question about who’s to blame for this economy. All that matters in the end is what you are doing about it for your own business or professional practice.

     Whether you’re a doctor, a retailer, a small-size manufacturer, a distributor, agent, or service provider, it’s time to take a hard look at how you are dealing with your current spending plans. This, for example, is NOT the time to fold up the sales and customer service training rug and store it in the basement. Besides the fact that basement-stored rugs attract mold and mildew, there are better solutions.

     Check in with your local community college or adult education program for an inexpensive training option. Or, do it yourself! Or round-up a team of masters or doctoral students from a nearby university to put a program together for you.

     Many internship programs across the country award academic credits for firsthand real-life experiences. A combination of business and education or psychology majors should be able to package a good motivational training program for your business. Some training is better than no training!

     Just be sure you present such a program in the right light and discourage over-the-top expectations. Help your people to see such an occasion as an opportunity to foster idea exchanges and teamwork, instead of setting up training quality judgements. Point out that what they will get from any program is what they end up putting into it.

     Speaking of motivation, remember that small frequent rewards (like family entertainment arrangements and lunch invitations) are more meaningful in the overall scheme of things than high-priced permanent rewards (like salary/benefit increases).

     Look at ways to promote your business without having to bite the media advertising bullet that will undoubtedly break a tooth if not your wallet. www.BizBrag.com is a terrific free site to register with and post free news releases and newsy photos — every day if you like!

     People are selling everything under the sun on Twitter these days. Also for free. You need tenacious endurance to make Twitter work for you, but it will if you will. Didn’t tenacious endurance get you to where you are anyway? 

     Are you asking people in your family to help you with certain tasks that will help free up your time so you can be more focused on sales, for example? Maybe retired Uncle Harvey wouldn’t mind at all coming in a few times a week to do some light cleaning (in exchange for some sports tickets or a couple of dinners out) to help offset custodial service fees?

     Cover the tax-deductible cost of some business books for your college student son, daughter, neice, nephew, or cousin in exchange for some office, fieldwork or factory floor interns? Combine expenses with neighboring businesses? Shared transportation and shipping costs, even direct mail postage, advertising, clerical and website maintenance sharing are possible.

     Think it out. Tough it out. But stay focused in the process, and stimulate your OWN budget!    

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      . . . I’m open to your input anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thank you for visiting. Good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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Pain Shots: 1-Free-With-11?

At some point in your career, you’ll know when you’ve seen it all. How about discount coupons for a lawyer? (Or, hey, what about one free last will and testament thrown in with every divorce case?)

Every third chiropractic spinal adjustment (whoops, sorry: “subluxation”) gets a $10 rebate? (Maybe they should be packaged with an oil change and lube job?)

How about a one-free-with-eleven deal on hypodermic needle injections from a pain clinic? (Depending, of course on what kinds of toppings you like…pepperoni, extra cheese…)

     P L E A S E, Dear Doctor, Lawyer, Accountant, Dentist, Chiropractor, Physical Therapist, Nurse Practitioner, Acupuncturist, Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Nutritionist, Occupational and Speech Therapist – PLEASE stick to your professional expertise and find someone with professional marketing expertise to represent you and communicate your messages to the outside world.

     Professional training and hands-on experience certainly make no secret of emphasizing and reinforcing the need for professional practitioners to exude self-confidence. And the temptation is great to think that adding “entrepreneur” to your list of credentials is, as baseball old-timers call it, a can of corn! (Or for the less athletic: a piece of cake!)

     But the truth is that all one needs to do is open any phone book to professional listing sections and check out the ridiculous ads . . . 

• Will you race off to the plastic surgeon because his ads show a sexy centerfold “After” patient?

• Do you really need a specialist at Reiki, EFT, EST, Craniosacral Therapy, and Rolfing in order to quit smoking? 

• Do you get all jittery inside merely thinking about the excitement you know you’ll feel when you call that dentist whose ads proclaim he now has mucosal blade inserts?

• Can you just not wait to handshake and backslap all those thousand dollar suits standing around a five thousand dollar desk in the ornate law office ad photo simply because the headline says “Our Attorneys Work For You And We’re There When You Need Us!” (Right, as long as your wallet’s open!)

• Oh, and surely you can’t wait to get to that doctor who’s a specialist in electrodiagnostics. Don’t we all like to get zapped once in a while? 

• Is an IRS enrolled agent tax law specialist CPA necessary to help you get a bank loan?

     Professional marketers with professional marketing skills will present you and your message in the best. most professional environment and be able to emphasize your strengths in simple, straightforward, layman’s language.

     They will get you better prices for printing, and database lists, and media time/space than you can get on your own. They will know the best ways to reach your target market (and better help you define it) on the best dollar-value basis. They understand and market via the Internet! 

     They will know the best sets of words and highest impact graphics to use (including fonts, spacing, colors, layouts and designs, photos and illustrations, sizes, materials). They will have experiences that you will not have and that you will not want to pursue anymore than you’d want them to perform your professional services on your family!          

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Hal@Businessworks.US or 302.933.0116

 Open minds open doors.

Thanks for visiting. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Aloha Hal!

What better way can I say thank you for such an earnest and thoughtful response to my 3/11/09 blog post criticizing the U.S. Postal Service, than to reproduce the complete (as received, with no editing) comment… and extend my heartfelt appreciation to Postmaster Tom McCarthy? THANK YOU, TOM!

(Special thanks too to my good friend Judy Vorfeld for facilitating this exchange.)

Oh, if only our government could practice this kind of give and take which helps achieve both improved productivity and improved customer relations!    

Well, It’s good to see we have customers who care enough about the Postal Service to offer their ideas on how we can become better. [RESPONSE AND REFERENCE IS TO 3/11/09 BLOG POST BELOW, OR IN MAR ’09 ARCHIVES ON THIS SITE]

Here’s my spin—point by point.

1. Wasting time and money on surveys? Totally agree. We spend an enormous amount of money on surveys. However, the real problem is that we do not act on customers’ comments, or for that matter, lack of comments. For example: We have a Voice of the Employee survey that goes to each of our 650,000 employees every year. Although employees are paid on the clock to take the survey, I believe our response rate has never gone over 72%. Non-response says a lot.
2. Because most district managers have little-to-no background in sales and marketing, they fail to realize the other side of the budget equation—revenue generation. Most managers were promoted because of their ability to cut workhours. They really haven’t a clue about sales and marketing. Fortunately that mind-set changing. But we are so far behind that it’s going to be hard to catch up.
3. I’m not exactly sure what you are referring to about bad products. There are some products that not very popular, and the Postal Service is constantly evaluating them. Some customers feel we shouldn’t sell retail merchandise, that it’s a waste of time, and we should concentrate on selling stamps. But in 2007, Official Licensed Retail Products generated over $70 million. However, I will agree that often we fail to take innovation to completion.
4. I don’t know any FedX or UPS driver that has the time to market and sell. They constantly under the microscope. FedX even has wireless video tracking their drivers and making sure they are under a strict time schedule. A few years ago the Postal Service initiated Carrier Connect, Business Connect and Carrier Pickup. These programs encourage city and rural carriers notice what businesses use our competitors and then forward those leads to our Business Development Team, who will then contact customers to sell our products and services. A few years ago the Postal Service created the Postal Ambassador program. In each of our 80 districts across the nation, a select team of city carriers, clerks, and postmasters were sent to Chicago for intensive training in media, marketing and sales. I was fortunate to be selected as the Hawaii district Postmaster Postal Ambassador. The idea was to have districts take advantage of Postal Ambassadors to market and sell products and services to businesses, train clerks, and act as a public relations person for the media. But as you stated in #3, we failed to take it to completion and as a result, the program fizzled, mostly due to managers who could only see value in cutting costs.
5. Email delivery service sounds something like a service we offered years ago with fax. A customer could fax a letter to a post office, and then the letter would be placed in the customer’s mailbox. It didn’t do well, so the service got axed. But I certainly would like to hear your idea.
6. Social media is powerful but I can tell you this: Most postmasters are fried by the end of the day. We are micromanaged to the tenth degree. There is little room for innovation or creativity, and many must endure 2, 3, and 4 hour telecoms that are unbearable.
7. Customer service training is where we really fail. We desperately need sales training. But the powers that be see it as a huge expenditure. We actually have a number of web-based training, but for the most part, I feel they are useless. There is nothing that compares to real-life class situation with interaction and Q & As.
8. PO box in every box? Hmmmm do we charge double???
9. Recruiting community groups to garden and landscape sounds great until the lawyers look at liability issues that come with it—not to mention contract issues with employee unions. However, here in Hawaii we have had a post office on Kauai have a grammar school paint a beautiful mural on the post wall. But we needed all sorts of approval from higher sources.
10. I’m all with you on community events. It is one of the best ways to network and connect with customers. And here in Hawaii we do those type or activities. Many postmasters across the nation are involved in community events such as the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life, Marrow Donor program, and many, many other events, including community fairs, parades, and business expos. I personally have manned marketing booths at conventions, Kona coffee festivals, Ironman World Triathlon Championship in Kona, and given workshops to coffee and mac nut farmers here on the Big Island of Hawaii. I know of many other postmasters who do similar kinds of sales and marketing in their communities.
11. Most of us would love to sell advertising space—especially on postage stamps, but we are regulated by the Postal Rate Commission, Postal Board of Governors, Congress, and some very limiting laws—lobbied no less by our competitors.
12. Same as above.
13. Every office should have some type of table for customers to rest their heavy parcels on. If your office doesn’t have one, I suggest you request the postmaster to install one. Tell your post office that if they can’t afford one, you’ll go to the competition—if nothing happens, write to the district manager. .
14. Music? Don’t you love hearing the clerks singing their song: Is there anything fragile, liquid, or perishable? Would you like to send it Express? Would you like insurance or delivery confirmation? etc, etc. Did you know that some offices have a television set to keep customers mind off the wait time in line. Many offices do have music but I’ve experienced situations where the customer complained about the music. Maybe we should hand out iPods while waiting in line to listen to your preferred music?
15. Our goal is to make it a positive experience. That’s why we hire Mystery shoppers and put a huge amount of pressure on offices who do not achieved the 5 minute wait time in line goal. There are all sorts of other things that an office is evaluated on, too.
16. A little note slipped into a mail box? I’ll tell you a story. One of my carriers had slipped a letter into a customer’s mailbox and the customer complained because there was no postage stamp on it. They said we were violating our own law—that anything in a mailbox must have postage on it. Strange but true. However, we have many carriers who very much care about their customers. I had a rural carrier who would deliver mail to one of her customers, and then after work go shopping for groceries for her, because the customer was elderly and could not drive or go outside. If you only knew the good and heartwarming stories, you’re thoughts would surely change.
17. Barter? That could become dangerous. Besides, we’ve got rules and regulations regulated by red tape regulators.
18. We do direct mail training workshops. You can also go online to our website and practically get a masters degree in mailing. We also have a small business development team in each district. Ask your postmaster for more information or go on usps.com website and search for direct mail….coffee not included.
19. We have over 7 million customers visiting our retail outlets every day. That’s real-time blog. And if you consider we have something in the neighborhood of a million hits a day on our usps.com website, that would be one big blog.
20. USPS.com has the whole spiel. If you want more information, ask your postmaster to give you the phone number for the business development team in their district. They’d be more than happy to help.
21. We have publications with direct mail information, rates, and tips on how to use direct mail to grow your business. I regularly order these pamphlets and place them in our business customers’ mailboxes.
22. For years Congress and postal laws had our hands tied. We could not give discounts. Fortunately, a few years ago, congress passed the Postal Reform bill. We now have more freedom to offer discounts and make special deals. Unfortunately, we are not moving fast enough.
23. This could possibly be under consideration. We do offer discounts for business customers who prepare their mail properly and comply with automation requirements.

Well, there it is. And I agree. It would be a terrible waste of assets, resources, and some super-nice people if we don’t listen to our customers and become better at what we do.

Thanks again for your thoughts.
Tom McCarthy tmpm@mac.com
Postmaster
Holualoa HI 96725

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Having grown up a mailman’s

son, maybe I’m just sentimental

(or simply as stupid as the PO?) 

     On top of their idiotic, money-wasting, survey last December [Click on December Archives in right column and go to DEC 15 “NO MORE ROOM FOR “SNAIL MAIL – Gutless, Incompetent, Greedy, The US Postal Service” for the ugly details], the amazing U.S. Postal Service management team has been making some astonishingly whacko business decisions.

     Since revenues are off, they’ve cut back hours, increased postage prices, increased their elaborate sample mailing campaign to entice more small businesses to do more mailings with (you guessed it) stuff that’s prohibitively expensive to the typical small business to even think about mailing anyway.

     I’ve received two personalized t-shirts, a metal hinged and color-labeled box filled with expensive die-cut printing samples, and the list goes on. And now. Now they’re pulling the blue drop boxes off the sidewalks!

     How utterly brilliant! Hey, nobody’s using them, so take them away. How many things can you think of that those boxes could be used for if YOU had them for YOUR business? I’ll bet there are at least 10,000 ideas.

     Okay, here’s where I’m stupid. I’m going to give away my consulting expertise for free to the U.S. Postal Service. Right here. Right now. Think they’ll take it? Not a chance, but I’m going to put it out there anyway just because they are chewing off their own arms and legs and I hate to just stand around watching them self-destruct.

SO… Here’s what the U.S.P.S. needs to do:

1. Stop wasting time and money and effort on useless dumb surveys. Just listen to your customers!
2. Stop with the radical cost-cutting methods and ideas that only serve to prevent future sales and revenue streams. You can’t make money by turning off lights! Only sales make money!
3. Stop throwing good money after bad with products and services no one wants. Stick to your knitting, and remember innovation is taking an idea all the way to completion! 
4. Take some pages from FedEx and other competitors who train their drivers to go beyond being just drivers and to become account managers– as responsible for promoting and selling and customer servicing as for driving and delivering.
5. Start an Email delivery service (Call me for details!).
6. Learn how to use and promote via social media options. Visit Twitter for two hours!
7. Initiate customer service training at ALL levels. When was the last time anyone got a thank you note from the U.S.P.S. when it wasn’t a thinly-veiled give-me-a-tip-for-Christmas card?
8. Put a P.O. Box in every P.O. Box (Call me on this one too!).
9. Recruit community groups to garden and landscape your ugly buildings (inside and out).
10. SPONSOR community events; get out there and mix with your customers! They don’t bite! Show them you’re (like State Farm) a good neighbor! 
11. SELL AD SPACE ON THE INSIDE OF EVERY P.O.BOX DOOR!!!! 
12. SELL AD SPACE ON STAMPS!!!!
13. Provide shelves for the poor souls with heavy packages standing on lines waiting for the incompetent counter clerks to finish their coffee. 
14. PIPE IN SOME MUSIC!!!
15. Make it “A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE” to go to the post office!
16. How about an occasional (NON-Christmastime) slip in empty mailboxes that the carriers sign that says: “I noticed you didn’t get any mail today, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you anyway. Have a great week!” 
17. Barter some direct mail advertising for media time and space… other services! 
18. Run direct mail training sessions for small businesses in P.O. lobbies – serve coffee for free! 
19. START A REAL BLOG that actually addresses real customer situations on a daily basis! (If you actually read this far, definitely call me on this one!)
20. Teach small business owners/operators how to tie direct mail to website and other ad and promotion programs.
21. Offer (Put in all business P.O. Boxes) detailed info on direct mail programs with package rates for use of postcards and self-mailers, with sizes and deals and discounts and coupons!
22. Offer quantity discounts!
23. Offer and arrange shared delivery discounts (to same office or building, for example).

     NUTS, huh? Well, I’ll tell you what: If you continue the course you’re on, YOU’RE NUTS BECAUSE YOU WILL END UP KILLING YOURSELF and that would be a terrible waste of assets, resources, some super-nice people who work for you and bring about the demise of a still much-needed service.

     God Bless and Good Night!  halalpiar     

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It’s A Headline World!

With EIGHT MILLION people . . . 

     . . . now reported to be using Twitter, and millions more engaged in the explosive use of other social media tools as well, we are seeing businesses (especially entrepreneurs of course) rush to the ballgame with their gloves, bats and cleats barely broken in… and scoring runs! 

     Rumors abound that social media is racing past emails as the accepted new communications avenue. This means it’s time to reassess whatever you’ve been using as a marketing plan, and to start looking BOTH ways when you cross a one-way street! 

     At what has now become a maniacal rate of propulsion, blogs have been moving up on the outside rail and coming into full stride as legitimate business marketing vehicles.

     And fueled by the burdens of economic woes that now threaten to (literally) fold every major newspaper, blogs, and electronic books, and social media are re-inventing the long-stagnating worlds of publishing and print media, as ipods have muscled in on CDs and music radio. 

     Business marketers stand on the threshhold of communication revolution once again. And each new thrust now occurs in shorter time periods, each marketing message in shorter numbers of words. We are living in a headline world.

     From TXT MSGS to 140 allowed character spaces per Twitter “Tweet” (or update message), we are communicating quicker, more concisely, with more convoluted, contrived, abbreviated, and acronymed versions of words, and more instantly universal than even one year ago! 

     If you are serious about marketing, you need to re-examine where you and your business marketing interests are headed. As print advertising fades and TV continues to tangle itself up in cables of every description, as billboards dissolve off into the distance of green horizons, and direct mail bumbles it’s way through the vast post office sea of incompetency, we may be left with new options.

     Radio (especially talk) will survive, podcasts, videocasts, blogs, teleseminars, electronic books (which will surely include advertising, ala VCR tape and DVD rentals, as the $400 pricetags fall to $79 and less over the next couple of years) and webcam communications will lead the way. Oh, and yes, island-stranded Wilson soccer ball fans, there will always be a place for overnight deliveries. As this communications metamorphosis occurs, social media will be the blanket beneath and behind it all.

     It’s here. It’s not going away any time soon. Until computerized communication chips are embedded in everyones’ skulls, and one need only to think of a person or place or piece of art or writing or music or news item to bring it instantaneously to the brain’s front burner, we will be firmly entrenched in social media that we will be challenged to use effectively to sell tomorrow’s products and services. Oh, and the new theme song? “It’s a blog world afterall…”     halalpiar 

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Gutless, incompetent, greedy

— the US Postal Service! 

     While everyone out there is busy flexing holiday business muscles by beating up on our gutless car manufacturers, incompetent government, and greed-saturated Wall Street, I propose we have overlooked the longest standing American institution of them all –which happens to be gutless, incompetent AND greedy– the US Postal Service!

     Whaaaat?  I LOVE my mail carrier. 

     Oh. yeah, well I have news for you: my Father was a US Post Office Special Delivery Messenger for over 20 years (and no gift to higher learning I might add, but I loved him nonetheless). 

     There is no Special Delivery designation or service anymore.  It’s been replaced by overnight delivery services and the Internet.  Whaaaat?  Yup, nobody in the P.O. (including the “Postmaster General”) had any B.R.A.I.N.S. or the foresight to see it coming.  And when they finally did, the solution was layoffs and stamp price hikes?

     Having Special Delivery service in the 30’s and 40’s, then closing it out as express mail options came on the scene, is like being ahead of the other team 25 to 0 in the first inning, and losing.

     I practically grew up in and around the stupidity that permeated the P.O. (or “P.U.” as my Dad routinely called it while holding his nose).  Add to that, the fact that my career has included massive direct mail experiences (including responsibility for 1.6 million mailings per month at one point, and annual mailings of 8-9 million at another), and I can tell you with some measure of authority that Postal Service management has gone from dumb to dumber in two short decades.

     What prompted this tirade, you might ask?  This week, I received a lunatic 4-page survey from the highly undistinguished Gallup Poll asking for multiple choice answers to 37 zillion stupid questions about how pleased or displeased I was with the US Postal Service.   

     First of all, the missive was addressed to my long-closed and dis-incorporated company of years ago and delivered (only heaven knows how the wheels of government turn) to my relatively new P.O. box in a different state! 

     I mean, I would love to hear the explanation of what the value is of how what I think of whether my P.O. box mail arrived before or after 10am in the last 30 days and if the carrier behaved pleasantly.  Duh.  Do you, in other words, make it a policy of tracking your routine mail deliveries by time periods and carrier dispositions?   

     What contribution are answers to these inane questions ever going to accomplish in helping this disintegrating giant of disorganization to rise up and slay the (now commonplace) successful overnight delivery companies of the world?

     Don’t the ninnies who run this establishment realize that while Fed Ex and others have been busily teaching their drivers that they are not just drivers, that they are account managers (and this, by the way, for more than 20 years!), and realize as well that the public has simply passed them by?  Are they blind to the fact that UPS has risen to the occasion and outperformed them? 

     Have they never heard of being competitive in the marketplace?  Do they still think they are viable?  Have they ever reckoned with being referred to as “snail mail” all these years of emerging Internet communications domination? 

     Oh, and who’s worse?  The Postal Service for being so blind and unbusinesslike for so long, or the Gallup Organization for taking advantage of the P.O.’s plight, to whip together this ludicrous questionnaire?

     $urely, this $urvey wa$ a big-ticket a$$ignment to Gallup.  Dear Postmaster General – You should know that I could have solved the problem (instead of prolonging the agony with meaningless surveys) for whatever amount was paid to this failing polling organization.  The solution is called strategic competitive marketing.  Surveys won’t show this! 

     The Postal Service obviously hasn’t a clue.  Gallup knows even less.  Maybe they deserve each other: two fading giants of the past.  Let’s hope someone wakes them up, shakes their boots, and gets at least one of them back to planet reality.  halalpiar        

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Aaaargh, OOoooh, Umpf,

GlugGlug, Gurgle, Gobble,

FaLaLaLaLa, Hiccup, Yum,

STOP YELLING!   

     Well, a little digest-yesterday’s-turkey-soccer-game today with my son-in-law, my all-state soccer star nephew, my travel team soccer star grandson and my two soccer-player grandaughters reminded me about the notion of time slippage (funny, I would have sworn I was hitting my late teens before the game started as surely as I felt 95 by the time we finished –10 to 8 final score), and the need to eat less next year!

Have you ever seen a beaver wearing glasses? 

      As for sounds of the season, btw (thumb-basher-text-messaging-shorthand for “by the way”), by the way, I’m really not a bah-humbug guy; in fact, I LOVE Christmas, BUT I TRULY HATE Christmas music and commercials that start before Halloween, and that steamroller over Thanksgiving like it was Ground Hog’s Day. 

     What in the world makes retailers think they will make more money if they advertise earlier? Right-o, jolly-good, and all that.  Of course I’ll just dig deeper in my wallet and start pulling out all those sequestered thousand dollar bills to spend on gifts because all that wonderful, exilarating advertising is reaching me earlier this year!

     Oh, yeah, and all those blessed charitable moods that start to kick in about now . . . you know, the ones that are sabotaged by print, broadcast, online and direct mail requests for my hard-earned dollars that came by way of hard-working wage-earning needy neighbors right here in my community.   

     Well, la-de-dah, now I’m supposed to pile up those hard-earned dollars and kiss them goodbye (along with my needy neighbors!), and immediately wire my money half-way around the planet to such needy causes as the NFACLISSYBB (Nonprofit Foundation for the Astigmatic Correctional Lens Implants of Speckle-Spotted, Yellow-Bellied Beavers).

     Of course, with some tenacious googling, I might find that these poor, afflicted beavers are critically essential (like cones and cups are to ice cream) to nocturnal pigmies in the Outback who rely on them for nighttime navigation when the moon is not full . . . because numerous pigmies will undoubtedly wander about aimlessly through the night, midst crocodiles, snakes and wild boars without beaver beacons to guide them.  I mean have you ever seen a beaver wearing glasses or contact lenses?

     So present-wise, what’s a person to do?  Do you go for these needy charities and hope your relatives and friends will understand and appreciate the potential tax deduction possibilities? 

     OR, does one, for example, spring for the $400 electronic book reader as a potentially emancipating Christmas gift accompanied by expressions of your seasonal hopes and prayers for cousin Billy Bob (whose idea of a book is something he was told that the judge once threw at him when he was brought in on a DUI charge for riding a large senior citizen tricycle . . . yes, of course one with a tall antenna brandishing a bright orange pennant . . . for cutting across the 20-something lane plaza at the foot of the Driscoll Bridge on New Jersey’s infamous Garden State Parkway at morning rush hour when the 65 mph speed limit goes to 387 mph (350 mph if roads are wet!) OR, do you just get him the antique Arthur Godfrey ukulele he fawns over at the corner pawn shop?

     Such a quandary!  Oh, and to the sounds of the season list, add:

Y  I  K  E  S  !               

  halalpiar

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 80 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

 TARGET YOUR SPIEL

WITH A DEAL!

     Clients are always asking me about email marketing, and the best ways to approach the copywriting.  Of course, I always tell them to just pay me an extra fee and I’ll take care of it, but with so many do-it-yourselfers around these days, I’ll share the following in the interests of upscaling the quality of the sales email industry. 

     See, and you thought I wasn’t a nice guy!  So, here it is for free: a million dollars worth of commercial writing consulting (assuming it helps you sell a few million what-ever-you-gots!) 

     No matter what your email marketing needs may be, and regardless of what you’re selling, your creative output needs to attack three basic issues that are prompted by three simple questions:

1. What’s the list (your target)?
2. What’s the story (your spiel)?
3. What’s the offer (your deal)?

     In other words, your email must zero in on the right audience with your best answer to the only question each prospect has that really matters: “What’s in it for me?”  Nothing else you say will matter.  You can provide nice little lists of your product or service features, but only benefits will trigger the emotions that will create a sale.

     Now that you know what needs to happen.  So, get ready for the second part of the one-two punch.  Here are three more food-for-thought requirements that need to cornerstone the creative development of the recommended 500-or-fewer-words:

1. The writing must be clear and concise.
2. The writing must feel like someone is talking, not writing. 
3. The writing must ask for the sale early and often, and give prospects as many different ways as possible to buy the product or service.

     Now, these points may sound very authoritative but they are guidelines, not rules.  The 500-or-fewer-words thing, for example, is what many authorities indicate is essential to avoid boring or overkilling your prospect.  Yet some emails of 3000 words or more have been and can be very effective, depending on the circumstances of the list, the story (the nature of the product or service) and the actual offer!          

Halalpiar

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 49 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

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P.S.  SPECIAL THANKS to my writers group members Jean Ryan, Harry Banks, and Viviane Philmon for help with my brand new revised bookjacket synopsis! (Click on Literary Agents tab above) 

Imagine a menage a trois

of marketing strategy! 

     Growing up the son of a snail-mail lifer, and having had my first real job as a direct mail copywriter much longer ago than email even existed (and centuries before the dawn of texting), you can bet those exposures triggered a career full of direct mail. 

     Today, I do equal amounts of direct mail and email marketing.  I like the shorthand of text messaging, but not the aborted English that is its mainstay.  And I still believe the basic direct mail tenet that the more you tell, the more you sell! 

     BUT most people seem to me to be hellbent on trying to prove that there’s some colossal and magical difference between snail-mail and email marketing. 

     From my frame of reference, I see no difference strategically between the two.  Of course immediacy of delivery (and deletion) distinguishes email timelines from the historic trudging of mailmen and women through wind and rain and snow and dark of night on their appointed rounds up your walkway to your mailbox. 

     Much has also been made and can be said in favor of physically handling envelopes and contents.  And arguably the two dictate creative approaches to writing that are as diverse as those that seem to mesmerize our thumb-punching generation of teenagers. 

     So how could I possibly suggest there’s no strategic difference between snailmail and email?  To reach any significant measure of success in the use of ANY medium (yes, even thumb-punching), asking and answering the same three strategic principle questions is always and everywhere called for.  In other words, what is your thinking approach to implementing the tactics that will achieve your objectives?  Here’s the famous menage a trois of marketing strategy:

1.   Who, specifically and realistically, is your target?

2.  What, specifically and realistically, is your spiel?

3.  What, specifically and realistically, is your deal? 

     The bottom line is that regardless of whether you choose to use”traditional” (direct mail) advertising, or elect to zoom your message through cyberspace (and sophisticated marketers will often do both . . . remember: repetition sells!), you still must answer the one and only WIIFM (imaginary radio station) question in the recipient’s mind:

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?

     If your message fails to produce the exact right response to that WIIFM question, it doesn’t matter what media you use . . . you lose!  It’s the only thing ANY of us care about when we are being “pitched.”

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Make today a GREAT day for someone!

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!”    [Thomas Jefferson]

Hal@Businessworks.US         931.854.0474

Guidance to 500+ Successful Business Startups

Creating Record-Sales for Clients Since 1981!