Get your hidden agenda

out of the closet!

• CLIENT or BOSS or PROSPECT: Here’s a project we’d like you to do. Please tell us how you would do it, how long it would take and what kind of budget you’d recommend.
• CONSULTANT or MANAGER: Who’s the project for? What’s the purpose? Who or what’s being targeted? When do you need it done? What’s the budget you have to work with?
• CLIENT or BOSS or PROSPECT: Don’t worry about that stuff. We’re not sure of the target and we have no due date or budget; you tell us what you think.
• A WEEK LATER: “We’ve reviewed your proposal and we don’t like the target you selected, we think it should be done quicker and it’s too expensive.”

Whaaaaaaaaat?

     Every business or organizational group works on two levels: The level of the task represented on the surface, and the level of the “hidden agenda” — the undisclosed needs and motives of individual group members.

     Personal goals, values, attitudes, and fears impact the ways that individuals react to or respond to the group’s surface task. Hidden agendas siphon off valuable energy that can be used to accomplish the task at hand.

     People play power games by withholding information. By not telling the person(s) on the receiving end of an assignment, what the parameters are for a particular project, the CLIENT or BOSS or PROSPECT undermines prospects for success. By assuring him or herself of increased personal control, she or he is simultaneously dooming the project to failure.

     Hidden under the surface, you’re likely to find many individual conflicting pushes and pulls. Group members (according to a University Associates Handbook for Group Facilitators) have personal and subjective needs for belonging, acceptance, recognition, self-worth, self-expression, and productivity.

     The needs of one disgruntled or over-zealous or manipulative or misdirected individual can block the needs of another, or of the entire group, or the entire project. These blockages can be resolved in a minute, or drag on for years…in some rare instances, a lifetime.

     The Pfeiffer & Jones Group Facilitator Handbook suggests:

I wonder if we have said all that we feel about the issue. Maybe we should go around the table and ask for individual comments so that we can open up any further thoughts”

…as being the kind of statement a leader might ask anytime that hidden agendas appear to be threatening progress. 

     When you detect a hidden agenda, get it out of the closet!

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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The World’s Greatest Expert

on Death and Dying–

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD

–Points to Five Stages:

• Denial and Isolation
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

     She said we –all of us–  must experience each of these five stages to one degree or another in the order they are shown above with every loss experience. The only exceptions being instances where people get stuck in a given stage and never get beyond it.

     So as business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs, some of us experience bits and pieces of these five stages everyday with daily losses.

     Kübler-Ross said that losses are not limited to human death, and can  include the loss of a limb or faculty, or ability… loss of a valuable possession (a home, a car, a business), loss of companionship (including divorce and separation), loss of freedom (including jail), loss of a job, loss of a client, loss of a prospect or opportunity, loss of self-esteem, loss of authority, etc., etc.

     And to a lesser degree, we even experience these stages when we lose a dollar, a photograph, a letter, an address, a contest, and so on.

     So what’s the point? Healthy successful people do everything humanly possible to channel all their energies and mental focus on reaching the level (or “Stage”) of ACCEPTANCE as quickly as possible, and on maintaining themselves at that level as permanently as possible.

     Everything else is non-productive. Everything else leaves us feeling deflated and defeated and negative. Some people stay in these places their entire lives. Some are institutionalized. Some do themselves in.

     Stages 1-4 are pure torment. We must go through them, but the goal needs to be to move through them as rapidly as our minds and bodies allow us to. Getting through the maze may take friends and rescuers to stand by shoulder to shoulder. We have all performed that function for someone else, but perhaps have forgotten?  

     Keep always in the front of your mind that no matter how out of control it may feel to be stuck somewhere in denial and isolation, or in anger, or in a bargaining position, or a state of depression, it IS a matter of choice!

     The minute we choose to accept loss, the quicker we can get on with a happy and productive existence and make the most of the short time we each have here on Earth…make the most of the relationships we’ve been blessed with: with other people and places and purposes.

     We need not choose to lock ourselves into suffering and misery. Life and business life are way too short to have wasted time and energy with anything besides being happy and healthy and in active pursuit of our dreams.  

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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Don’t Choose To Dwell

On Your Goals!

     It’s no wonder we get our businesses in so many accidents. As Americans, we’re virtually (and probably literally) brainwashed with the need to follow rules and regulations, and only ever pay attention to where we’re going.

     We are obsessed with the future…planning for it, wondering what it will bring, worrying about it, looking toward it. Once in a while it’s a good thing to glance in the rearview mirror.

     Following all the rules and regulations and focusing only on what’s in front of us will never get us anywhere that’s unique, remarkable, or successful. In fact, it may never get us anywhere at all.

     Rules, regulations, and the future are certainly not directional signs to the path of progress for business because they represent an investment in the status quo and nonproductive worry.

     Why is that? you may ask. Because success only comes from breaking the “rules,” of which there are none in business (except perhaps in law, accounting and certain parts of retailing and shipping logistics)… and because focusing on the finish line inevitably prompts one to trip over one’s own feet!

     Driving your business forward on the road to success while devoting your attention to what the next exit is, and when will the next service center appear, and how many more miles are yet to go doesn’t leave much balance of attention to focus on the vehicles that are driving alongside you, and coming from the opposite direction.

     There’s probably no need to say anything more than the three dreaded words, “head-on-crash” to send chills and shudders up and down your spine and butterflies doing cartwheels in your stomach.

     But wait! Tragedy and disaster only strike when you make a conscious or unconscious choice to set yourself up (and your business) for tragedy or disaster.

     Here’s what it’s all about: YOU are the captain of your business and YOU decide when and where to drive, and at what speed, and at what hours, and at whatever condition your vehicle is in. It’s YOUR business. It’s YOUR choice! If you own or manage your own company, the behavior of your company is YOUR choice!

     So stop tuning in all your energy to where you’re going and start paying attention to where you are. Only by seeing and responding to what’s around you can you make your business move forward in productive directions.

     Take some “real time” inventory of where your business stands at any given present moment and then adjust it from there going forward, but don’t choose to dwell on your goals. Dwell on what you’re doing right now to take you there.   

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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STOP PUNCHING

YOUR BRAINS OUT!

     In case you may have started thinking the whole world’s joined forces with the government to push your business off the rooftop, STOP! Maybe they have all joined forces with the government; I’ll grant you that possibility.

     Even if the whole world is not actually involved, there IS certainly some truth to be said for the government’s strangulation taxes and requirements to comply with the bombardment of over-regulations that threaten and seek to control small businesses.

     But, guess what? You can put a stop to it!

     HOW TO STOP IT: First, step back from the upset feelings and take a deep breath: http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/4-steps-in-one-minute-zero-stress/ 

     Next, accept the fact that you are you and in all the world, there is no one else exactly like you. You are unique. Got it? No? RE-read the boldfacing again. Go ahead. I’ll wait right here for you. Got it now? Good. Believe it? If no, you may want to explore some therapy options. If yes, then take the leap of faith to the next level:  

     If you can accept what you just read, then it should be a no-brainer that the business you own or manage or the part of a business you own or manage is also unique. Why? Simple. YOU are unique and YOU are running it! YOU control the day-to-day activities, and what takes place is YOUR choice. Your behavior and your attitude are YOUR choice. What you decide to do with and about your business is YOUR choice. 

     Leave the victim role to Atlas in Greek Mythology; he took the whole world on his shoulders. [For more on the victim “Poor Me” role that many business owners insist on playing, see the great old Gestalt Psychology classic book, BORN TO WIN, by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward. I promise that even now, 40 some-odd years later, it will astound your sensibilities about what makes people choose so many self-destruct directions in life.

     If you continue to worry, check this post for reassurance: http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/stress-kills-sales-quicker-than-the-economy/

     The bottom line is that there simply IS NO OTHER BUSINESS like your business because yours is the business that reflects your uniqueness.

     So choose to rise above the rubble and the unfairness and the shortsighted incompetence of government. Extract yourself from the mire of those around you who choose to wallow in self-pity and act defeatist and negative.

     Choose instead to surround yourself with positive people and thoughts and appreciation for the differences you bring to your company and industry and community tables. Make them work FOR you!  

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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Hey Boss, what’s

your T-shirt say?

     One of the most useful exercises you can do as a business owner or manager is to take a shot at branding yourself and your business… regardless of whether your business is already in the middle of a branding campaign or not.

     This exercise is just between you and yourself! And don’t offer any feeble not-enough-time-type excuses because this whole adventure shouldn’t take you more than 3-4 minutes!

     Put two pieces of paper in front of you. Label one “Me” and the other “Biz.” Put “Biz” aside for a minute. On the “Me” page draw the simple outline of a blank t-shirt… no knit collars or sleeves, no tag sticking out, no concern for size or crooked lines; remember, it’s just for you, and you can toss it when you’re done.

     Now close your eyes and take two deep breaths (go ahead; I’ll wait!). Good.

     Next, put some representation of whatever you think would be the most appropriate visual message [word(s) and/or picture(s)] on that t-shirt to represent you, your thinking, your personality, your approach to things, your attitude, your values, your goals/ambitions— whatever strikes you as something that accurately represents what you’re all about.

     Perhaps it’s something you might want a stranger to know about you, or even something that might surprise those who do know you?

     Good. Fold the paper and stick it in your pocket.

     Now, close your eyes again and take two more deep breaths. Okay, now pick up the “Biz” page and draw another t-shirt (same as the first one), but —on this one—record what it is that you most want others (customers/patients/clients/employees/vendors/referrers) to see in your business.

     In other words, when others hear or read or think about the name of your company or practice, what do you want come to the front of their minds? What quality or uniqueness or value or key characteristic? Write/draw it on this second (“Biz”) t-shirt. 

     Finally take the first one out of your pocket and unfold it. Put the two side by side and make a note on the “Me” page about what the two messages have in common. On the “Biz” page jot down what the difference(s) is/are.

     Ideally, there’s a synergy between the two. Whatever differences there are should be healthy ones. If you think you could never wear both shirts, you might want to start career-hunting again. If the messages run parallel but you think they need to be more closely aligned, what can you do starting at 9am tomorrow morning to get that to happen?

     If the messages are identical, you may want to think about stepping up your personal life a bit. Eating, sleeping and breathing your business is admirable, but quickly becomes an unhealthy state of existence that magnetizes stress, illness, and family disruptions. 

     If I see you this summer without a t-shirt, I’ll know you’ve been busy working on your message, your business, and your life… or are about to be arrested! All four situations need your undivided attention! 

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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“I’m Sick of Worrying!”

     An important followup note on last night’s blog post topic: “Worry” as noted comes from being too over-focused on the FUTURE, which ignites weapons of self-destruction fuses and pulls the pin out of expectation grenades that inevitably breed disappointment, followed by negativity, depression, stress…

     This is all true, but as I re-read the post, I see that I failed to include being too overly-focused on the PAST as a worry trigger as well. Consider getting caught up in giving either too much attention to future plans and expectations, or in over-and-done-with past events, as “partners in crime.”

     These “bad guy partners” are out to get you, and you can stop them short, before either one ever gets close to delivering harmful effects to you, your family or your business. Success means simply that you need to exercise more of your brain power to deliver increased personal awareness and increased self-control to your SELF! (Considering Einstein reportedly only ever used 10% of his brain power, just imagine what’s possible.)

     Thinking about the past can be productive, relaxing, and instructional, but not once it reaches the point of dwelling on past events. As with allowing future thoughts to become worrisome, our balance and stability as humans is equally threatened by dwelling on the past. 

     The past is over and cannot be changed. Worrying about and dwelling on it is a nonproductive (actually counter-productive) waste of time and energy. Conscious or unconscious, the fact remains that paying over-the-top attention to either the past OR the future—instead of the (much-healthier) present—is a choice.

     To get past the “points of destruction” in your mind, you need to be a detective about yourSELF. Figure out what it is that trips your circuit-breaker, that gets you “lost” in past or future thoughts and issues. Once you know what your “trigger” is, then every time you are aware of it coming to the surface, let it serve as a reminder to pinch yourself or feel your pulse or heartbeat, or take a deep breath…and return yourself to what’s going on right in front of your face.

     Oh, but that’s hard and I don’t know how to do it! It’s hard if you CHOOSE for it to be hard. You can just as easily CHOOSE for it to be easy. As for how to do it, just start paying closer attention to your own behaviors…how you respond and react to others, to situations.

     Keep track of your words and actions. Write your observations down someplace and review your notes every few days. Keep asking yourself what you are learning about yourself right this minute.

     You’ll surprise yourself. And odds are you’ll far exceed your own expectations of what you believed to be possible for your own physical, mental, and emotional health and happiness. Try it. You’ll like it! But don’t wait too long. There’s no time like the present!      

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar              # # # 

FREE BLOG SUBSCRIPTION? Click on ”Posts RSS Feed” (Center Column), or now on your AMAZON Kindle for just $1.99 a month after a free trial. FEELING CREATIVE? Visit the daily growing 7-Word Story (That’s now 247 days in the making) and add your own 7 words: http://halalpiar.com/?page_id=157

The Six Ghosts of Fear

In his 1937 classic book (over 15 million copies sold), THINK and GROW RICH, Napoleon Hill set the stage for today’s motivational thinking, and offers specifics on “How to Outwit the Six Ghosts of Fear” that successful leaders in every walk of life continue to use even now as you are reading this.

What ARE the “Six Ghosts”?

1. The Fear of Poverty

2. The Fear of Criticism

3. The Fear of Ill Health

4. The Fear of Loss of Love

5. The Fear of Old Age

6. The Fear of Death

Worry is what unites and strengthens these negative emotions and, left unchecked, will ultimately cause them to materialize. Worry paralyzes reasoning and destroys self-confidence and initiative. It’s easy to say –as the calypso song encourages us–“Don’t worry!” but truth is our minds often work harder at making it a difficult choice instead of a simple  one.

Worry accomplishes NOTHING. It comes from being overly-focused on the future…on events that haven’t come yet and that may never come. It happens when we slip past “planning” and head toward expectations. It starts with disappointment and leads quickly to the most wasteful and harmful thinking that humans engage in.

It evolves from fantasy, not reality. It leads to businesses going under, negative thinking and neurosis taking over. It leads to illness, accidents and depression. It leads all too often to premature death.

The greatest single weapon against worry is to work tenaciously to keep your mind in the present here and now moment as often as you can possibly think of it during every hour of every day. Staying here and now, like a baby, like a puppy dog, like a naturalist in the wilds, like a mountain climber, opens the pathway for you to good health and happiness.

No one can be living in the present moment every single moment. (Just imagine an air traffic controller without a break.) But all of us are capable of maximizing our present moment attentiveness. Deep breathing helps. Regular exercise helps. Taking breaks helps. Eating right and sleeping right as much as possible helps.

You want to think and feel healthier? Have a happier existence? A stronger business? Start paying closer attention to keeping your mind from wandering too far astray from what’s right in front of your face right now at any given moment throughout the day, every day. It’s a choice, you know. Choose to set yourself up to not worry as much and you’ll be well on the way to defeating the six ghosts of fear!

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Input welcome anytime:

Hal@BusinessWorks.US  or comment below.

Thanks for visiting. 

Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! 

ARE YOU

BREATHING?

1-Minute private technique kills business stress

This 4-step, on-the-spot stress management technique is being used—right this minute, as you are reading this—by millions of healthcare, business, sports, entertainment, teaching, and homemaker professionals.  It works for every age and level of health.  

It will work for you too!

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Hal@BusinessWorks.US 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Not sure of yourself?

You are breeding failure!

     Data fusion company Jigsaw says, “Sales success depends on sales rep productivity, management effectiveness, and the ability to collaborate…with customers, partners and colleagues.”  

     What’s the connection with self-doubt? Sales rep productivity, management effectiveness, and the ability to collaborate ALL depend on the ability to eliminate self-doubt. Consider the following which you’ve certainly heard, but probably don’t believe. Maybe you think it’s not important enough to actually addreess for more than ten seconds. But it is.

Everything in existence is in existence

only because it exists in your brain.

     If you think you’re not sure of yourself, or your ideas, or your abilities to pull off that big sale, or achieve that far-reaching goal, or dig yourself out of the hole you’re in, you can be sure you’ll succeed at not succeeding.

     Every single second that your mind drifts to doubtful feelings, you are pulling yourself deeper into defeat. Every second you can reverse that feeling counts for getting two seconds closer to success. How can you reverse a negative tide that’s sweeping through you, or under you, over or around you? The answer may sound trite, especially to those low on energy or willpower, but it is fact.

     You must start by learning and using every tidbit of information you can possibly know about you! You are the only person on Earth who knows what makes you tick, but you’ve probably set yourself up thousands of times to sweep what you know about the real you under your own rug!

     If you can know the thoughts, ideas, circumstances, people, environments, feelings, comments, memories, awarenesses, and emotions that weaken you, you are half-way to conquering self-doubt. Work at it. The most self-assured people in the world work at this nonstop for their lifetimes. Fears never go away, but the awareness of what triggers fear can be controlled.

     We’re not talking about simple rationalization here. You can’t read this and then go about your merry way being suddenly transformed and confident. You CAN, however, make a commitment to yourself that you will work at it and keep working at it because fear sucks! Because fear creates self-doubt and self-doubt will make a loser of you, and that itself is a fear to eliminate.

     How successful do you truly think you could be with both hands tied behind your back and a bag over your head? Yet, being afraid and choosing to set yourself up for self-doubt to keep creeping in is creating the same impossible, insurmountable degree of handicap. So the next step is to keep reminding yourself that the feelings that are holding you back, that are threatening to you are ones you somehow choose.

     Take some deep breaths http://halalpiar.com/?page_id=35 and collect yourself and remind yourself that no one knows more than you about you and the ways you do the things you do, so no one else can make choices for you. Choose to rise above it all. Choose to make it work. Choose to make it easy. Choose to be the success you are capable of being. Choose to appreciate your SELF! 

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      . . . I’m open to your input anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thank you for visiting. Good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

FREE BLOG SUBSCRIPTION? Click on ”Posts RSS Feed” (Center Column). FEELING CREATIVE? Visit the daily growing 7-Word Story (That’s now 229 days in the making) and add your own 7 words: http://halalpiar.com/?page_id=157

Rule 1: Chunk it up!

If your job is to paint the Brooklyn Bridge, and your goal is to paint the Brooklyn Bridge, you’ll never make it!. If, on the other hand, your goal is to paint the first 100 feet of cable on the northeast quadrant by one week from Friday, and the first 100 feet of cable on the southwest quadrant by two weeks from Friday, and so on, and keep it flexible based on weather, etc, you will undoubtedly succeed.

If you put “clean house” on your list, it won’t happen. If you chunk it up into a series of small tasks like vacuum the second floor carpets, fold and put away the laundry, wash the first floor windows on the front of the house, de-clutter the kitchen counter, and so on, you will have much greater success.

Being specific and reducing the monster chores to small individual tasks not only keeps you on track, it serves to motivate as well because you’ll gain a sense of accomplishment each time you complete an item and cross it off your list (use a second color, by the way, to be able to still read what was on the list and keep track at the end of the day).

And interruptions? Life is an interruption! When interruptions come along add them to your list. (You run into a bee’s nest while painting the bridge and it takes an extra hour to get rid of it? Add “get rid of bee’s nest” to your list and then cross it out when you’ve taken care of it. While washing the first floor windows, you notice an overgrown shrub that’s scratching against the house siding? Add “trim overgrown shrub in front” to your list and cross it out when you’ve taken care of it.)

Keep reviewing your list of goals to see better ways to chunk it up. As you achieve or complete each chunk, cross it out, and add new chunks. Never-ending? Yes, goal-setting, like exercise and eating right, require commitment to changing your lifestyle. No one achieves their goals by dabbling with them. If you’re serious about goal-setting and pursuits, you need to be constantly monitoring them.

It helps to have a weekly checklist of goal criteria to be certain that you’re on track with keeping your goals specific, flexible, realistic, and due-dated. Without all four of these criteria, you have only a wish. Wishes, like hopes, get us nowhere. Action gets us somewhere. Any action is better than no action. Chunking up what you need to do and where you need to go works light year’s better than “paint the bridge” and “clean the house.” Now apply the same dynamics to your business and business planning.

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Hal@BusinessWorks.US  

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT Day for Someone !