This isn’t the movies and

you’re not in Hollywood! 

     What?  You thought you would be finding more hard core “sales-and-business” stuff here?  Well, working on your authenticity is the most genuine and arguably most important sales-and-business stuff you could ever set your sights on. 

     Businesses (and salespeople) succeed or fail based on how authentically they come across to their internal and external markets. 

     What your employees and suppliers think –for example– of the approaches you take to managing your business, or piece of the business you’re charged with, will positively impact your reputation, sales, and of course customer relations, even R&D projects!

     So, don’t be bashful; let’s take a little inventory.  How much of every day do you waste time and energy “playing the boss role” (making power plays, flexing your internal politics muscle, acting controlling, acting like a know-it-all, exaggerating your accomplishments, glossing over your errors) instead of just “being” the leader? 

     How much, in other words, do you try to influence others by attempting to impress them vs. simply gaining their respect by relating to them at their individual levels? 

     This isn’t the movies and you’re not in Hollywood. 

     Regardless of their stations in life, everyone in your daily path brings a certain energy to bear on each issue.  I grew up in an obscure, dilapidated, 3-room, third floor walk-up apartment next to the railroad tracks in one of America’s richest communities. 

     And if that sounds paradoxical, consider that my father was a mailman, whose advice was sought after daily by mayors, police chiefs, doctors, and Congressmen.  He was confided in by top “Fortune 500” corporate executives, and trusted by well-known authors, columnists, and artists. 

     He was a “closet confidant” to many big-name radio and TV personalities who lived in our low-profile, waterfront village north of New York City.

     How was this possible?  Harry escaped the ravages of genocide and came to America as a six year-old waif with a handful of rice.  He had no formal education, but he considered every encounter everyday as genuine and meaningful. 

     Harry listened carefully, spoke and laughed and cried from his heart, and never pretended to be someone he wasn’t.  He was quick to admit he didn’t have all the answers.  He was a character, all right.  He was the Norman Rockwell style   www.nrm.org/ personification of humility.

     He would have been a smash success at any business venture, but he liked who he was, he liked what he did, and he respected his “customers.”  In spite of his faults, and too much whiskey, he was nonetheless a success at being himself!  And he made sure his two sons grew up to appreciate the values of authenticity.

     In my thirty years of business coaching, consulting, and training, I can attest to this single quality as that which separates successful people and businesses from the wannabees, hasbeens and alsorans: authenticity.  It needn’t be perfect; but it does need to be vigilently practiced and consistently pursued.  How’s yours?  Halalpiar  

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What ARE you looking

to do with your life?  

     Okay, your business is your life, or at least a humongous chunk of your life, yes?  That’s great.  I love my work and consider myself fortunate to be doing what I most enjoy as my means to earning a living so we’re in this together.  BUT . . .

     When did you last break away from your job

and thinking about your job to . . . hug? 

     Renowned Gestalt-based family therapist/author/icon Virginia Satir www.advanta.net/ said it takes 12 hugs a day to grow emotionally strong.  And you do know that being mentally and/or physically strong enough to do your job effectively, and excel, requires that you also be emotionally strong. 

     What good are you as a business or professional practice owner or manager if your emotional scale is tipped too far to the left or teetering on the edge of a breakdown, temper tantrum, road rage, or worse? 

     So what does your scorecard look like?  How many hugs today?  You initiated them or someone else did?  Planned or spontaneous?  Real or token?  Pitter-pattery or bone-crushing?  Start keeping track.  You’ll learn a whole lot about others and your self.  And the more you know about you, the better you’ll deal with others.

     Ah, dealing with others.  Right.  So now that your cage is arattlin’, lets’ try another quiz: When did you last pat someone on the back for a job well done?  A staff member?  A peer?  A teammate?  An opposing team member?  A child?  A parent?  A stranger?  Your spouse?  A customer?  A partner? 

     People –ALL people (and most domestic animals too)– appreciate being appreciated, especially for performing small deeds and accomplishing routine little tasks that ordinarily go unnoticed.

     Try a pat on the back accompanied by: “Thanks for taking the responsibility to do your homework before playing computer games!” or “Thanks for the great dinner; I really enjoyed that salad!” or “Good job with that regular weekly report; it’s nice to see your efforts be so steady and reliable!” or “Good hustle, Harry; you were almost safe, and you did knock in that run!” or “I don’t ever mention it, but you should know I appreciate that you just automatically do so much laundry every week, and never even complain; thank you!” 

     Or just: “Thank you for helping me become the person I am” or “Thank you for helping me become a more authentic person” or “Thank you for helping me to grow” or “Thank you for being so supportive when I needed it!” 

IF WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN LIFE, START BY MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE WAYS YOU SUPPORT AND APPRECIATE OTHERS. 

     In the process, you will “happily surprise” others, but you will astonish your self!  Guaranteed!  Thank you for considering these ideas! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US    302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

“Where laughter fails

to heal, it never fails

to ease the pain.”

 – A terminal cancer patient

     I am convinced that nothing –nothing– is better medicine or better health food than laughter.  Nothing binds people together like laughter. 

     Laughter is the magic ingredient that’s the single most overwhelming key to success in business, professional practices (I know, it;s hard to imagine laughing lawyers, doctors and accountants, but stay with me here), marriages, families, organizations, and partnerships. 

     I did qualify the professional practice types with the word “success” which may or may not interpret as financial success.  Certainly it’s not in the context of the old medical self-love acknowledgement that “the operation was a success but the patient died.” 

     I’m talking about the success in life success, as in business life, social life, family life, religious life, outdoor life, academic life, you get the idea.  Laughter may not make you a success in any facet of life, but it’s hard as hell to think anyone could get there without it!  Ha! 

     Laughter is a universal symbol of mental and emotional health.  Mental and emotional health is increasingly credited by experts as the central source of physical health.

     Did you get the last laugh when you last laughed?  Or were you simply enjoying the spirit of the moment?  Come to think of it, when did you last laugh?  If you can’t answer this in terms shorter than minutes or hours, you in deep trouble, brother! 

     You better take two aspirin, drink lots of liquids, get to bed, and call me in the morning sounding so hysterical laughing that everyone else in your household thinks you’re sick!  Think you can do that? 

     Oh, and before you make the call, pitter-patter your little bare feet into the bathroom (in all probability, an especially essential trip after drinking lots of fluids anyway), and stick that face of yours in the mirror. 

     Er, maybe take care of the fluids first unless the mirror is, well, you know . . . now SMILE into the mirror!  No, not that dorky make-believe grin you give co-workers when they offer you a bite of their meatball sub or the one you save for the neighbor seconds after stepping backwards in your sneakers onto his Saint Bernard’s fresh deposit in your driveway. 

     I’m talking GENUINE smile here.  Go for it!  What’s the worst thing can happen?  Your significant other asks what you’re doing?  Ha!  “I’m smiling.” is all you have to say. 

     Give it your all.  Teeth.  Cheeks.  Eyes.  Something that will burst into a laugh when you actually realize it’s on your own face!  YOW! 

     Man, what a struggle.  You better start doing a lot more of that.  It’s good for you, uses fewer muscles than a frown, and might even make you some new friends!  Hey, a couple of laughs won’t kill you, y’know.  What’s that commercial?  It’s in you.  Do it.  HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!        

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Hal@Businessworks.US 302.933.0116

Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

TIME & TIDE & LOST LOTTERIES 

     Well, I’m happy to say that I’m still alive (after thinking about yesterday’s post headline quote), though I am a bit achey after twice sliding (Aha!  Safely!) into second base during my 55+ seniors softball league winter game this morning.  I’d probably be less sore if we’d won. 

     And speaking of not winning, I also got a pile of legal papers today showing that I came pretty close to winning a $600,000+ inheritance from a former student who died last year and surprisingly named me in her will (as the only non-family member, eligible only if none of the four named relatives survived; and I just learned that two didn’t, but then, two did!).  C’est la vie.

     Then my computer service provider was down half the day, and –once again– I failed to win the lottery . . . BUT, you know what?  It was a great day to be alive, and the only thing better will be –tatata-tadah!– tomorrow!  Howcum?  Tomorrow, I get to go to work, and I get to figure out when and how to play in between the work!  It’s like gimme dirt in a room and a broom.  Instant gratification, sweeping.   

     I read where a famous writer, who recently died, was asked who in the world would want to be 90 anyway? He responded, “anyone who’s 89!”

     Well, I have a ways to go yet to get to 89, but you know the older you get, the more seconds (minutes?  hours?) each day that age-related thoughts start to pop into your head.  I remember a 20-something assistant I once had who found out I had just celebrated my 30-something’th birthday, told me I was “older than dirt” because anyone over 30 was older than dirt.  She’s now, let’s see, 35?  Hmmm. 

     What’s the bottom line? (as all the financial wizards of Wall Street inquire in too-little-too-late fashion).  You’ve already heard it.  Maybe if I say it again, you’ll actually think about it.  Maybe you’ll even act on it?  Whoa!  Miracles will never cease!  Ready?  Here it is (again): 

You are only as old as you think you are! 

     Period. 

     Hogwash, you call that?  Well, don’t take my word for it . . . do a survey (better than taking a poll; we’re polled out these days!).  Really!  Ask a bunch of old people what they think about that statement.  Ask yourself!  Me?  Ha!  I’m getting younger every day!Halalpiar        

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 63 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

If today were

                                                    

the last day of my life,

                                                                 

would I want to do what

                                                                   

I am about to do today?”

                                                            

Apple founder Steve Jobs in an inspirational commencement address video my son sent me http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-3827595897016378253&hl posed the question above while noting that he asks it of himself every morning when he wakes up. 

To the young graduates he’s addressing, he says, “Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life!”

How many of us wish we would have heard that advice when we were younger, and of course be able to be tuned in and mature enough to have acted on it?  There is, Jobs points out, “no reason not to follow your heart.”

The point is, it’s never too late.   

I met a 40-something-old plumber today (not “Joe”) who loves plumbing.  I met with two dedicated auto dealership clients (the 40-ish President and the 30-ish IT Manager) of www.igburton.com  and two bright young men (the President and an Account Manager) of www.Delaware.net (eCommerce Services, Custom Web Development, SEM, etc) who clearly enjoy the work they do and the world their business lives in. 

All in the same day, I also spoke with a 50 year-old mother of three who loves mothering, and bought coffee from a (looked to be almost 70) checker at WAWA who obviously liked being a checker at www.wawa.com. 

Unusual?  ABSOLUTELY.  I sometimes go for weeks on end without encountering anyone who’s happy with what she or he is doing. 

In fact, I’ve heard some study findings that report 90-95% of Americans are not happy in their jobs.  Even if this happens to be only half right, then the bottom line is that a majority (or close to majority) of people in the U.S. are doing lousy work!  What?  If someone’s unhappy at work, he or she is not performing well, and vice versa.  Now just look at this post again before you click off . . . it’s a whole plateful of food for thought!  Halalpiar  

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 62 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

COMIN’ OUT!

 

                                                

No, it’s not a reference to a specific type of celebration party, or to an at-long-last exit from one’s closet.  COMIN’  OUT! is a cry you can hear in almost every town across America every summer on every baseball and softball field! 

It’s the BP (batting practice) pitcher yelling to all those in the field to be alert and pay attention and don’t turn your back on the ball because the batting practice pitches are about to commence and the batting practice hitters will be trying to hit the batting practice pitches down the batting practice fielders’ throats!   

When an irate customer, business client or partner, patient or associate decides to throw a tantrum (or toss out a bombardment of accusations, half-truths or outright lies . . . in person or via email), don’t turn your back on the ball; it could hit you in the back of your head! 

Regardless of the indignant individual’s motivation to exercise pent up frustrations, flex political muscle, show off, play one upmanship or activate a superiority (or inferiority) complex, don’t waste time being analytical . . . and PLEASE:  don’t react!  Think respond, not react!  If you don’t react, you can never over-react!  The old saying still rings true that it takes two to tango! 

If you’ve mentally and emotionally prepared yourself in advance for such an eventuality, you won’t have to get your glove and get in the game; you’ll already be there! 

It’s easier than it might seem.  (Remember, since every behavior is a choice —yes, it is!— you can CHOOSE for it to be easy or, if you have masochistic tendencies, then go ahead and CHOOSE for it to be hard!) 

Simply imagine you’re in the field, glove in hand, and the pitcher yells over her or his shoulder, COMIN’ OUT!  Then turn to face the ball and get ready to catch it, even if it appears to be heading somewhere else.  Why?  It never hurts to be ready.  Be, as any good Boy Scout will tell you, prepared!  (I didn’t say “neurotic,” mind you, just “prepared.”)

For openers, most human beings caught off-guard by COMIN’ OUT! circumstances can benefit by taking a couple of deep breaths(to circulate oxygen and make the brain more alert, and to circulate blood flow and make the muscles more relaxed), which serves to pull the fuse out of the tendency to react! 

For closers, be persistently objective and unemotional in responding [The Adult ego-state in Transactional Analysis].  Attempt to get the whiner/complainer/bitcher/screamer/fist-pounder person to   s  l  o  w     d  o  w  n  and deal with each issue on a one-at-a-time basis.  Upset people tend to bunch together an avalanche of problems and issues, none of which can of course be addressed or resolved, buried under so many others. 

No guarantees with any of this except that —for sure— you will handle COMIN’ OUT! situations better having thought about best practice responses than you ever would with your back to home plate!

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www.TheWriterWorks.com or 302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT day for someone!