There is no way

to happiness.

Happiness IS the way!

Stop looking for the finish line. Watch your feet. Happiness is not the destination. Happiness is the journey.

If you’re having trouble getting that message, it’s because you’ve consciously or unconsciously chosen to set yourself up to get brainwashed into thinking that nothing of any value exists besides the future. Well, in fact, dwelling on the past that’s over and can’t be changed is equally neurotic to being focused on the future that hasn’t yet come . . . and may never!

This futures mindset is a common occurance with salespeople who live to reach and exceed their weekly and monthly and quarterly and annual goals. Nothing wrong with goals that are specific, realistic, flexible, due-dated, and written. But the blind pursuit of any target that doesn’t measure up to all five of those criteria is simply a futile wish-list chase into fantasyland.

Talk with a car salesperson to get a better perspective on how happiness gets lost under reckless abandon to achieve a rigid inflexible goal at all costs.

If a goal is flexible, for example, and it’s clearly not going to be met, it needs simply to be changed — change the amount, the time period, the process, the methods, etc. Effective goals are not meant to be etched in concrete. Meaningful targets are always moving. Effective goal achievers move with them by glancing ahead and staying firmly anchored in the present.

What makes focusing on the future unhealthy? It quickly and easily turns away from being a positive and constructive direction when it stealthily tip-toes over the line into worry. Worrying is a complete waste of time and energy. It produces absolutely nothing except negative stress which rapidly produces illness.

Okay, you’ll grant me that worrying is worthless, so if that’s the problem, what’s the solution? It’s not a magic answer because each of us handles stress differently. So here’s a list of the most common solutions that most people tend to practice in one form or another. Try what sounds right for you, and what seems practical at the time.

Then keep trying until something works, but don’t quit on yourself!

Yoga; swimming; jogging; workouts; walking; singing; dancing; deep breathing; massage therapy; crafts; playing with a baby; playing with kids of any age; playing with pets; keeping a journal or diary; visiting another close environment (woods, beach, etc.); reading fiction; watching a cartoon; drawing/sketching/painting; fixing a meal (if this is not something you usually do); listening to music with your eyes closed . . .

The point is to know when you’re starting to feel stressed (this can be the most challenging part of the solution) and then to stop whatever you’re doing and do something different for a minute, an hour, a day . . . whatever’s appropriate for you, now.

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Thanks for visiting. Hal@Businessworks.US God Bless You!

“If you think sometimes

  that you just can’t win,

remember that life

is not a contest!”

— Kathy Alpiar

She reminded me of this shortly before her life struggles ended this past March at age 55. She had reminded me of it often over the last 25 years of our marriage . . .  almost always after my face retreated into my hands bemoaning some frustrating situation or another that I had somehow boxed myself into. I’m told everyone does this on occasion?

If you’re an American, you probably grew up with the conviction that everything you had to deal with every day –from school and Scouts to college or trade school and a career to marriage and family raising– was (is) a contest!

Admittedly, in a nation dominated by sports performance and competition at literally every level of life, it’s hard to grasp that “life is not a contest.”

But it’s NOT a contest.

(Workaholics, please re-read those last five words!)

• Life is a gift. It is a blessing. We either consciously or unconsciously choose to embrace it, or choose to waste it.

• Life is a waste when it’s obsessively dedicated to ultimately meaningless, make-believe values — making money, acquiring things, trying to impress, being self-serving and self-indulgent, putting others down, bullying, chastising differences, thinking and acting dishonestly.

How much of our precious time on Earth is wasted each day trying to get even; trying to undermine, manipulate, or represent ourselves as more than what we are; trying to pretend; trying to bait those who are weaker into our arena so we can defeat them or make them look foolish? Can any of that possibly be serving our true best interests?

If the answer to that question about how much time, by the way, is anything more than one minute, it may be worthwhile to think twice about Kathy’s quote. In other words, is our purpose here on this planet to make a difference?

How important is integrity?

Kathy wasn’t suggesting that we all abandon competition and head for some mountaintop to meditate on our navels. Of course we have to be responsible to earn a living and pay our bills. But what she was saying was that there’s a whole lot more to life than having such narrow pursuits d-i-c-t-a-t-e human existence.

Entrepreneurs get pounded over the head with these finger-waving “take time to smell the flowers” thoughts because they tend to disappear into a product/service development zone to the exclusion of friends, family, and many of life’s joyful experiences. They substitute the pursuit of “success” to the exclusion of what’s around them. I know because I’ve been there.

But I’ve come to realize that return on investment is not the sole province of business. ROI has also to do with having an ongoing sense of humor, a conscious effort to cultivate only positive stress, making room in our lives for living, keeping our promises, and being perpetually focused on service to others. Thanks Kathy.

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Hal@Businessworks.US    302.933.0116

Miracles Will Never Cease!

It’s true. As long as you work harder and not smarter (Ask those who succeed instead of those who teach!), stay perpetually positive, appreciate those who support you, believe in yourself, and pray to and trust in God, you can boost your odds for success right through the roof! 

~~~~~~~

Here’s what happened. So many of you (Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.) have posted and called and emailed me with your warm wishes and prayers during this family trauma period that has absorbed me over the last few weeks, that I’m convinced you made a difference.

The emotional roller coaster is finally slowing down.

The daily episodes of great mental, emotional and physical stress are giving way to what all the doctors and nurses and others involved are now saying was a true miracle.

After racing her unconscious to the ER, followed by two weeks in intensive care including ten days in a coma, literally no one expected to see her survive.

Kathy, my wife of 25 years, is now alive and thriving. With her life hanging by a thread, no one had given her a chance . . . no one except Kathy. It all came down to her and God.

She is –Hallelujah, and thanks be to God– more alive now than she has ever been!

Those who visited her early on, who saw her with tubes in her throat, her nose, her fingers, hands, arms and legs –a medical marionette– with dials,  switches, beeps, graphs and blinking numbers coming from nearly two dozen monitors, do not believe her now. Five days later, she is walking, talking, eating, joking, and remembering details.

But she wasn’t given a chance of even surviving.

And what does this have to do with small business and personal development? Everything. There can be no greater fight than fighting to live. Whether it’s a battle for business survival, or –and I truly hope you never go through what Kathy and I experienced– your life or the life of a loved one, you can never be too prepared.

Like  children getting their value systems in order before the age of five, we need to work hard at cultivating and growing our fortitude, attitude, authenticity, integrity, self-esteem and self-confidence, our spirituality and love for life every day.

Every day. Because –like a fire extinguisher, parachute, healthy body, and alert mind– self-reliance marks a winner.

Kathy is a winner. I am so proud of her, and so grateful for what one doctor called her “absolutely astonishing will power.” From this perspective of reality, I have decided to continue with my blog posts on a two or three times a week basis, instead of daily, as it’s pretty much been since April, 2008. Life is simply too important.

Thank you, all my thousands of blog visitors and Twitter friends. You are amazing!

I will hope to keep hosting your visits here two or three days a week. God Bless You. 

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

How To Boost Healthcare

Great Medicine is not

 Great leadership

 is not always transparent!

Every winning sports and business team has a sparkplug — THE one most enthusiastic, energetic, pumped-up, mover and shaker who ignites her or his teammates and gets them focused on achievement. 

Combined with what most of us might designate as leadership qualities… trust, authenticity, integrity, empathy, compassion, active listening, speaking clearly, sense of humor, teaching by example, et al…the single sparkplug ingredient, the piece that brings it all together, comes quietly from inside… and is not always transparent. 

“Sparkpluggyness“  is not tangible, obvious, or even evident in many cases. It is a fire-in-the-belly sense of desire and mission. True leaders exude it, and usually without ever even noticing or acknowledging it. It’s something that “just happens” as many have shared along their career paths.

So how does one begin to cultivate and nurture the characteristics that lead to rewarding practices of inside leadership? Do boosters work? Energy drinks? Coffee? Drugs? Ginseng?

One might best begin with a large dose of self-esteem, let that percolate into self-confidence, add a dash of deep breathing, proper exercise, enough rest, nutritional foods (and obviously eliminate addictive tobacco and alcohol products along the way), and work at mastering the ways of dealing best with your own stress.

Try whatever comes along until you find the one thing that best works for you. Is it jogging? Lifting? Yoga? Massage therapy? Playing with a pet? Pursuing a hobby? Swimming? Gardening? Painting? The answer is different for every single person. But you’ll never discover what’s best for you if you aren’t continually experimenting.   

This is all about getting in touch with your inner self and firing up that furnace. If YOU don’t know what makes you tick, you’ll never be able to know how to best figure out what makes other people tick, and how to best deal with them to get them motivated.

Even Maslow’s Theory of Motivation relies one-hundred percent on a manager’s ability to “size up” others to be able to best reward them at a level that’s most meaningful to THEM. If you give me a plaque when I most want a more impressive title, you’re wasting my interest and sense of teamwork. You will not gain my commitment.

This little piece of leadership need not be for public consumption: The more you know about what makes YOU go, the closer you are to understanding and motivating others, and the more you can succeed at getting others to achieve, the better a leader you become and the more you will accomplish, transparently or otherwise.

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Hal@Businessworks.US   Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Stop Business Deaths in 2012!

WASH YOUR HANDS

To Kill Staff Infections!

By now, all of us know, or have heard (or we believe instinctively) that the majority of hospital deaths are the result of complications compounded or initiated by staph infections. These can be traced back to caregivers and support staff not properly and frequently enough washing their hands.

Who woulda thunk it? Such a simple thing.

Well, not only is it true, but I believe it’s even truer (though never researched) in business. After all, it has been widely researched and is no secret that the vast majority of business failures –those that are under-financed, that sell corrupted products and offer ineffective misguided staffs and services– come from poor management.

Management (even when it’s more task than people-oriented) is all about interfacing, interacting, and encountering. It’s about keeping a clear and receptive mindset.

Open Minds Open Doors!

SO WASH YOUR HANDS!

Now I’m not talking about hot water, soap, scrubbing and towel drying. I’m talking about:

1. Closing your eyes for just 10 seconds (perhaps 5 if you’re in a meeting, and not at all if you’re driving!) before and after every encounter with every customer/employee/vendor and investor.

2. Taking a deep breath (to focus attention and to maintain oxygen supply and blood pressure).

3. Mentally (imagining yourself) washing your hands, like a doctor between examinations.

For many who try or maintain this practice, it helps to go through an actual 2-3 second physical action of briskly rubbing your hands together. The action sends a reinforcing mental message to your brain.

Do it before AND after EVERY meeting, conference, phone call, email, letter, overnight delivery, and text message exchange, for as long as your business status remains “critical.” Hey, you are, after all, being a doctor, aren’t you?

You ARE examining, aren’t you?

You ARE listening, exploring, considering, assessing, recommending, deciding, weighing, evaluating, checking and re-checking, sizing up, assuring and reassuring, projecting, planning, strategizing, and predicting, aren’t you?

And what happens to your brain when you’re on the fly and go straight from one encounter to another without  (it sometimes seems) even breathing? Go on, answer this last question. I’ll wait. Okay, and how does that stress translate to your body?

You’re not sure? Well, where do you think these come from?: Headaches, backaches, toothaches, stiff neck, upset stomach, constipation, diarrhea, short temper, edginess, leg cramps, burning eyes, skin rash, urinary infection, or worse — cancer, heart problems? Bottom line: is it worth it?

TRY THIS 10-SECOND

Make-Believe Brisk Hand-Scrubbing APPROACH

for just one week –January 2012 is a perfect test period.

Watch what happens.

Put “WASH YOUR HANDS” reminder notes on a sign over your desk, stuck to your phone and computer screen. Ask your spouse, partner, co-worker, friend or associate to ask you: “Did you wash your hands?” before and after you turn a doorknob, before and after you lift and replace your phone, start or end your meeting . . . improvise here; just keep making the effort.

Here’s what you’ll get: IF you’re honest with yourself and IF you actually follow the prescription, you will be more tuned in to each person you communicate with; you will be noticeably more productive; you will– GUARANTEED–  feel better – mentally, physically, and emotionally; you will more positively affect others around you.

You will, I promise, astound yourself!

More on 2012 “LEADERSHIP”? Come visit me and comment on my Guest Blog post at TBD Consulting’s Jonena Relth’s site: LEADERSHIP TRANSPARENCY and “I” IS FOR INTEGRITY and “T” IS FOR TRUST.

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Updated From the Best of Hal’s Christmastime Business Posts . . . 

Watch where you’re going,