REALITY IN YOUR FACE:

When it’s time to let go . . .

     As I’ve been reminded again twice this week, facing death is never easy, and I think I can make that statement with some conviction because I’ve probably experienced all kinds and proximities of death in one way or another. Some (like family members, heroes and pets) can be devastating; some take a lesser toll, but none escape the memory banks.

     Now this may seem like an inappropriate transition into business, but — if you really think about it — it’s  not. Our businesses are living, breathing entities that are devoid of emotion but that maintain all the outward expressions of existence. Our businesses actually experience all the highs and lows that we’ve come to associate as the exclusive domain of human life.

     If you’ve ever had to close down or bankrupt a business, or experience major business losses due to fire, flood, earthquake, burglary, or embezzlement, you surely can relate to this . . .

     Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, the world’s foremost expert on “death and dying,” identified the five emotional stages we all experience:

1)Denial and Isolation  2)Anger  3)Bargaining  4)Depression  5)Acceptance 

     She said all of us must experience each of these five stages to one degree or another in the order they are shown with EVERY loss experience. Some of course get stuck and never make it to #5. As business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs, we experience bits and pieces of these five stages with daily losses.

     Kübler-Ross noted losses are not limited to human death, and can  include the loss of a limb or faculty, or ability … loss of a valuable possession (home, car, a business), loss of companionship (including divorce and separation), loss of freedom (including jail), loss of a job, loss of a client, loss of a prospect or opportunity, loss of self-esteem, loss of authority, etc.

     To a lesser degree, we even experience these stages when we lose a dollar, a photograph, a letter, an address, a contest, and so on. So what’s the point? 

Healthy successful people do everything humanly possible to channel all their energies and mental focus on reaching the Stage of ACCEPTANCE as quickly as possible, and on maintaining themselves at that level as permanently as possible.”

     Everything else is non-productive. Everything else leaves us feeling deflated, defeated, and negative. Some stay in these places their entire lives. Some are institutionalized. Some don’t survive.

     Stages 1-4 are pure torment. We must go through them, but the goal needs to be to move through them as rapidly as our minds and bodies allow us to. Getting through the maze may take friends and rescuers. We have all performed that function for someone else, but perhaps have forgotten?  

     Keep always in the front of your mind that no matter how hopeless it may feel to be stuck somewhere in denial and isolation, or in anger, or in a bargaining position, or a state of depression, it IS a matter of choice!

     The minute we choose to accept loss, and continue to choose that, the quicker we can get on with a happy and productive existence and make the most of the short time we each have here on Earth … make the most of the relationships and purposes we’ve been blessed with.

     We need not choose to lock ourselves into suffering and misery. Life and business life are way too short to have wasted time and energy with anything besides being happy and healthy and in active pursuit of our dreams.

Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Life lessons from

an 8 year-old!

     Yeah, I know, I know. Everyone has brilliant kids and grandkids. Just ask; you’ll get an earful, and that’ll probably be accompanied by an accordion photo show from the wallet or purse. The thing is we all talk about how bright kids are, but do we really listen hard to what they say and think hard about what’s behind the words they put out?

     Do you think they’re trying to tell us something?

     Check out the following messages which were bundled together and hand-lettered onto a little wall plaque gift from my 8 year-old granddaughter (who I was astonished to learn, has her own blog!):

Life is a question. No person on earth is your enemy but you. You can’t deside what you were born with but you can deside how you end up.

Being happy is beyond a feeling. Its a way of life. Questions are endless but only one awnser is you.

You can dream without imaganation but you can’t dream without a beleif.

You are who you are and know one can stop you.”

— Gwyn, Age 8 

     Where’s the business message? When times are tough and everyone seems to be struggling to make sales and dig out from under, temptation is great to work harder longer hours and let some family time slip away.

     I cast my vote against that idea. I’ve never known a business growth or sales situation to suffer from working harder, but I’ve seen many lives destroyed by breadwinners working longer hours.

     Of course there are bills to be paid, but there are also children to be raised and family roots to be planted, and nurtured. There’s an age-old excuse that surfaces frequently for the convenience of those who’ve chosen to set themselves up to get sucked into working longer hours.

     They say: “It’s the quality of the time we spend together as a family that counts.” Hard to argue with that, right? It makes sense, right? The trouble is that emotions don’t make sense, and families are all about emotions. Don’t let the sudden lack of financial independence thrust you into a family-distancing role of martyr. The stress alone isn’t worth the commensurate loss of life it cultivates.

     There are always other options.

     One major option is to stop thinking you have to carry the full load on your shoulders. Hold a family meeting. Keep it lighthearted, but discuss financial circumstances openly and honestly. Ask for ideas and input and don’t rush to judgement on thoughts shared that may at first seem empty or naive … like Granddaughter Gwyn’s philosophizing above.

     All well-intended thoughts have a meaningful core or point of origin. Search these out. Give the benefit of doubt. Ask yourself what you can learn from them, what they may cause you to think of. A small business is much more of a living entity than a giant corporation. It’s like a member of the family (and especially if it’s a family business!) so give it the benefit of others’ thoughts as well as your own.

     The more you ask for and listen attentively to input, the more you stand to gain in both respect and sales. The better your odds of achieving by working harder AND smarter without having to work longer.

Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

It’s A Best-Kept Secret

… Among Men.

     From my early days in Madison Avenue’s “Top 10” ad agencies, where I worked for the industry’s two most famous and successful leading ladies, to active roles in women’s rights marches, to a professorship career which led me to ignite a campus women’s program,  followed by group counseling facilitator days with a female partner, I learned I was barely able to hold a candle to the feminine wiles of business leadership.

     I moved into serial-entrepreneur pursuits with a bevy of talented female business associates (the most important and influential of these being Kathy, whom I married 23 years ago), I have always preferred working with women. I can’t speak for many product industries, but to my way of thinking, women have always been smarter about all the things one needs to be smart about in running a service business and dealing with clients.

     And TODAY, I can finally say to all those smirking owners, investors, and VCs who’ve always equated quarterbacks, fighter pilots, and five-star generals with required business leader traits and qualities: “See. It’s not just me who thinks women are better business leaders!”

     The Guardian Life Small Business Research Institute has just released new findings that predict women entrepreneurs will create close to 6 million new jobs in the U.S. by 2018, more than half the expected new job total. “That’s great,” you say, “but so what? How does that make women better business leaders?”

     Ah, it’s HOW this new job creation tsunami will occur that’s important. Women entrepreneurs are reported in this research study to be “more customer-focused, more likely to incorporate community into their business plans, and more adept at creating opportunities for others,” according to a report of the findings earlier today by Lisa Pateus Viana in the “Small Business” section of FOXBusiness online.

     Viana says these characteristics are “helping women excel in 1) running a business 2) keeping employees driven and productive and 3) building a loyal customer base.” She goes on to say that the research shows “the only things more important to women entrepreneurs than their customers are family and religion,” and proceeds to make a strong case for the values of something few male counterparts strive for: a sense of balance.

     It seems to me that the only ones who disregard the validity of these kinds of study findings are those who have never learned to accept themselves or be able to respect others anyway. So, good riddance to all those stimulus/bailout-dependent corporate and government muckity-mucks who think entrepreneurship is an irritating business nonevent without promise.

     And let’s hear it for the emerging new stronger-sex business leaders! In fact, if we cut them some slack, they may actually create us some millions of new jobs sooner than later! 

~~~~~~~~~~~Visit Hal’s Recent Guest Blog Posts~~~~~~~~~~~

•  
  • “The SALES Snow Job” @ http://bit.ly/bYHmXx
  • “Got A Sick Website?” @ http://bit.ly/6iYe6g    
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  • “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” @ http://bit.ly/7K0s4a   

Comment below or direct to Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Get blog emails FREE via RSS feed OR $1 mo Amazon Kindle. Gr8 Gift 4 GRANDPARENTS: http://bit.ly/3nDlGF

Are You

Juggling Seagulls?

     Draw a bullseye with two rings around it and label the center space: FAMILY & PERSONAL, then label the innermost ring space: WORK & BUSINESS, and then label the outer ring space: FRIENDS & OTHER ACTIVITIES.

     Copy each heading onto a separate column or separate piece of paper. Then list the most appropriate items/ people/places/ things in each category. Allow yourself one minute per list. 

     Put the list down and walk away. Get some water or a cookie or just stare out the window. (This is like a little ginger between sushi pieces.) Then return to your target and lists. The amount of “blur” between your bullseye and your next two rings will indicate how “fastlane” your life is right now.

I say “right now” because this is a here and now exercise: what goes in each part of the target can change by next week, tomorrow, tonight, or within the next 6 seconds!

In fact, when life gets too hectic, it’s a useful device for daily assessment, for helping you sort out and stay focused on priorities.

     Whatever blur does occur, whatever lack of definition exists between the three areas should give you a good heads up on how efficiently or inefficiently you are using your time, as well as the extent of your allegiances to each entity that is taking time and attention from your life.

     Once you’ve done this little diagnostic study on yourself, and have a good overview of your current activities and involvements, you need to decide if these pieces are where you want them to be.

     Are you spending too much time with your business and not enough with your family, for example? Or, are you so caught up in someone else’s problem that you haven’t made time to solve your own?

     I once found myself so sucked into a Chamber of Commerce project to boost town retail traffic, that I ended up working nights and weekends just to catch up with my own business (which was not retail and stood to gain nothing from the initiative).

     The crunch infiltrated my time commitments to my family. The small disruptions that surfaced were clearly the tip of cataclysmic explosion. I extracted myself from the C of C mission and discovered — lo and behold! — the retailers I was knocking myself out to promote didn’t care enough to pick up the ball for themselves.

This is NOT to suggest that voluntary community work is not worthwhile. It most certainly is. But it’s a good idea to look before you leap. For your own good, as well as the cause involved, such engagements are most successful when they are clearly defined, clearly justified, and clearly scheduled.

Plus –realistically — where choice is involved (vs. for example, an emergency), no one should ever commit to helping others who is not coming from a position of strength to begin with . . .

• A sick teacher is an ineffective teacher.

• A cashpoor business cannot donate to charities.

• A business owner who’s preoccupied with family survival issues or debt collection issues cannot be an effective sales leader.

     Draw your target again tomorrow. See if anything changes. Can you make something change? Maybe if you stop juggling one fewer seagull, it will fly away! 

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  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

You have all the

ingredients, but 

it depends on how 

you bake the cake!

[…and you KNOW what happens if you put the egg in at the wrong time!]       

      Okay, so you came here expecting maybe a magic sales solution to make up for not getting a government bailout? Well, maybe you guessed right. Maybe this is the blog post that will change your life…the one that will make a difference in your future by holding your head still for three minutes and getting you to focus on the present.

     First, recognize that if you’re a salesperson, you are an entrepreneur. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’re a salesperson. The two functions and categories are not mutually exclusive. Consequently, Voila!

Salespreneurship is You!

     What does all this mean?

A) You cannot abandon the management and administrative tasks of running your sales rep business. Why? Because customer lead generation, product and service knowledge, customer communication and presentation skills (especially active listening) , closing skills, and building a strong enough relationship to generate repeat sales will all mean nothing.

Without accurate, attentive data entry and paperwork follow-through with every encounter, you are investing in disaster!

B) Likewise, you cannot dismiss the critical responsibilities of salesmanship and selling just because you’re a free-spirit entrepreneur flying from project to project. Why? Because without sales and a properly-performed sales function, there is no business ship to captain.

     So your job #1 mission is to accept that sales and entrepreneurship are joined at the hip. Your job #2 mission calls for acknowledgement of goals (like knowing where the finish line is in a race) and then abandonment of that acknowledgement! 

“If you dwell on the finish line while you’re running the race,

you’ll trip yourself up and fall on your face!”

–HAL ALPIAR

     True success in selling and in entrepreneuring comes with being able to focus on the here-and-now present moment every passing moment of every passing day as much as possible. You’ll never do it 100%. But the farther you can push the envelope and be consistently conscious of what’s right in front of your face, the happier, healthier and more productive you’ll be…the more rewarding will be your success.

     How to do this? The #1 Solution : Go to http://bit.ly/cMoqHf and practice the 60-second exercise offered there as often as you can. The #2 Solution: When you feel yourself drifting off into events and situations and conversations older than one minute ago OR imagining something that’s more than one minute into the future (the approach to the finish line), recognize you are headed into nonproductive fantasyland, and return to Solution #1.

     Salespreneurship. Bah humbug? Sure it’s harder work than being a halfwit entrepreneur or a slipshod salesman, but remember this mindset adjustment is all a matter of choice. It’s your behavior and it’s your choice. History proves that choosing a here-and-now orientation is always a healthier, happier, more prosperous place to be.

Comment below or reply direct to Hal@BUSINESSWORKS.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day!  Blog FREE via list-protected RSS feed OR $1 mo Amazon Kindle. Great VALENTINE for GRANDPARENTS: http://bit.ly/3nDlGF

U B wearin 10 yrs?

(Where Will You Be In Ten Years?)

A long weekend with grandchildren beats two years of graduate school for practical small business development input education. It tops all the TV reality shows too! Assuming you can stop long enough to follow the latest WII~iPod~WiFi~Skype~Twitter~Facebook~Skiff~Kindle~YouTube APPS, you may have some sense of tech developments dragging business by the heels across the universe … but you don’t know Jack compared to most 8 year-olds!

• My 8 year-old granddaughter has her own website, illustrates and writes her own books, is into performance ice-skating, and plays on a girl’s basketball team.
• Her 14 year-old sister has her own weekly (sometimes daily) political blog, aspires to a Senate seat in 2026 as a stepping stone to the Supreme Court; she’s on a competitive synchronized ice-skating team.
• Their 12 year-old brother creates his own computer-designed amusement parks and roller coasters in between basketball and soccer team schedules and playing the trumpet in his school band. 

    Ho-hum, so do all kids today do that stuff. They’re all walking Googles with maniac time crunches. ~~~~RIGHT! AndYOU have kids in your life. And what are you learning from them besides that their lives are nothing like ours were when we were their ages. In fact, our existences have probably been closer to our parents’ existences than they’ve been to the lives of our own children … y’think?

     So where on Earth (or beyond) does that leave us with our world of small business when we take a step or two or three down the road apiece? Are we all tangled up in our past issues to the point of missing what’s happening now? Or — equally unhealthy — are we lost in future reveries to the point of missing what’s happening now?

     What keeps us centered and focused on the present? Young children, babies and puppy dogs all seem to possess that certain present, “here and now” sense of awareness, lack of inhibition, lack of preconceived notions or judgments, and — as a result — are able to think and create and innovate with reckless abandon!

     Take a lesson from them. Play on the floor, in the grass. Watch and listen. Let them lead; you follow. Ask and understand. What are they doing that can help you do a better job right now with what you’re doing? If you think that answer is something to sneer at, you may be having a problem with choosing your behavior. Maybe no one has let that be okay for you. Maybe you haven’t let it be okay for yourself! Why should you? Keep reading…

     So, here’s the kicker: Go to this link  http://bit.ly/Bb1Tw  now for 60 seconds; give up that adult resistance thing and put this “here and now” focus tool to work for yourself. Use it to pry open your business eyes and ears a little.

     I’m told by many that it’s changed their lives. Hey, and it’s free. Let me know how reckless you can let your thinking be with that one big problem that’s been making your business crazy. Go on. Tax your imagination. Start with this 60 seconds …   

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 LOOKING FOR LEADERSHIP? See Hal’s 12/30 Guest Blog Post at TBD Consulting’s Jonena Relth’s HIGHLY-RECOMMENDED site http://bit.ly/XhN1h

 WONDERING WHEN NO is Better Than MAYBE? See Hal’s 1/6 Guest Blog Post in BonMot Communications’ Angelique Rewer’s FREE HIGHLY-RECOMMENDED e-zine www.thecorporatecommunicator.net 

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Kiss Staff Infections Bye-Bye!

     By now, all of us know, or have heard (or we believe instinctively) that the majority of hospital deaths are the result of complications compounded or initiated by staph infections. These can be traced back to caregiver professionals and support staff not properly and frequently enough washing their hands. 

     Who woulda thunk it?  Such a simple thing.

     Well, not only is it true, but I believe it’s even truer (though never researched) in business.  It’s no secret that the majority of business failures, corrupted products and ineffective misguided staffs and services come from poor management. 

     Management (even when it’s more task than people-oriented) is all about interfacing, interacting, and encountering.  It’s about keeping a clear and receptive mindset.  Open doors open minds! SO WASH YOUR HANDS!  

     Now I’m not talking about hot water, soap, scrubbing and towel drying.  I’m talking about:

1. Closing your eyes for just 10 seconds (perhaps 5 if you’re telemarketing, and not at all if you’re driving!) before and after every customer/employee/vendor/investor encounter,
2. Taking a deep breath http://bit.ly/Bb1Tw (to focus and maintain blood pressure) and
3. Mentally (imagining yourself) washing your hands, like a doctor between examinations. 

     For many who try or maintain this practice, it helps to go through a 2-3 second physical action of briskly rubbing your hands together.  The action sends a reinforcing mental message to your brain.

     Do it before and after EVERY meeting, conference, phone call, email, letter, overnight delivery, and text message exchange, you are after all being a doctor, aren’t you? 

     You ARE examining, aren’t you? 

     You ARE listening, exploring, considering, assessing, recommending, deciding, weighing, evaluating, checking and re-checking, sizing up, assuring and reassuring, projecting, planning, strategizing, and predicting, aren’t you?

     And what happens to your brain when you’re on the fly and go straight from one encounter to another without –it sometimes seems– even breathing?  Go on, answer this last question.  I’ll wait.  Okay, and how does that stress translate to your body? 

     Headaches, backaches, toothaches, stiff neck, upset stomach, constipation, diarrhea, short temper, edginess, leg cramps, burning eyes, skin rash, urinary infection, or worse — cancer, heart problems?  Bottom line: is it worth it? 

     TRY THIS 10-SECOND APPROACH for just one week –January, 2010, is a perfect test period.  Try it and see what happens. 

     Here’s what you’ll get:  IF you’re honest with yourself and IF you actually follow the prescription, you will be more tuned in to each person you communicate with; you will be noticeably more productive; you will GUARANTEED feel better – mentally, physically, and emotionally; you will more positively affect others around you. 

     Put “WASH YOUR HANDS” reminder notes on a sign over your desk, stuck to your phone and computer screen.  Ask a co-worker, friend or associate to ask you: “Did you wash your hands?” before and after you turn a doorknob, before and after you lift and replace your phone, start or end your meeting . . . improvise here; just keep making the effort. 

     You will, I promise, astound yourself! 

More on 2010 “LEADERSHIP”? Come visit me and comment on my Guest Blog post at TBD Consulting’s Jonena Relth’s site http://bit.ly/XhN1h

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Throw Up. Clean Up. Sit Up. Step Up!

     1. It’s that time. Dump Pelosi, Reid, Frank, Schumer (and all the other big misguided tax and spend abusers who are killing small business) into your trash bin. Rid yourself of all the 2009 stress, upsets, ill-feelings, lost sales, financial worries, ego-maniacal do-noting politicians and half-hearted employee efforts by simply throwing up!

     Go ahead; get it over with; tickle your throat; I’ll wait.

     Done? Good. Next…

     2. Clean up the mess. While you’re at it, clean up your email files, your desk, your accumulated piles of paper, your truck, business cards, and phone messages. If there’s any time left, attack your most discombobulated file.

     Then…

     3. Sit up! Look around and make sure your work setting and all first impression views, items, furnishings, windows, equipment, and signs are glistening and free of clutter and performing at optimum level. You’ll never get a second chance at a first 2010 impression!

     Finally…

     4. Step up to the plate and get a good grip on the bat. Prepare to send the next pitch flying into the centerfield stands. Also, write your 2010 goals down on paper (you know, with a pen!) and make sure each goal is specific, flexible, realistic and due-dated.

     Remember that — no matter what your business is — your integrity and your people are your greatest assets. And remember too that you have what it takes to achieve your goals. It’s all about choice. Choose to make it happen. Choose 2010 to be your year!

To all my great friends and blog visitors:

My very best wishes for you that 2010 is the happiest, healthiest, most prosperous year ever for you and your families! Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Year!

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More on 2010 “LEADERSHIP”? Come visit me and comment on my Guest Blog post at TBD Consulting’s Jonena Relth’s site http://bit.ly/XhN1h

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Watch where you’re going,

but think about

where you are.

[A Spirit of Christmas Business Message]

     We watched a blind man’s yellow Lab thread his master through the parking lot and into the giant retail outlet, through electronic doors and deftly around an oblivious woman who appeared cast in stone, at one with her shopping cart … surely not about to move. 

     The man and his companion worked their way around obstacles, displays, counters, other shoppers. They passed so briskly and so seemingly self-assured that only a few passerby even noticed just one pair of color-blind canine eyes leading three pair of legs.

     But we did. And in a mere matter of seconds after the man’s best friend and the man were devoured by store traffic, my mind snapped to attention from its visual tracking trance and realized we had been witness to a man with no eyes. Mine began to fill with tears. Maybe it was being sad for him, or grateful for me, or simply the season, but … 

     All my weaknesses, complaints and woes went quickly off into space as I closed my eyes and considered for just a moment what my life would be like without ever or ever again seeing a crepe myrtle in full bloom, the ocean, a blue heron following with its body its spindly silent legs as it creeps along the shore, a laughing toddler, deep woods, a frolicking litter of puppies, snow-topped mountains, my family, a book, works of art, lightening, swooping seagulls, my toothbrush, a roaring fireplace, faces, a Christmas tree…

     Who could possibly want a Christmas present who has full use of vision after seeing someone who does not?

So, I am left to conclude that Christmas is

truly not about either giving or receiving.

     Christmas is instead about consciousness-raising, celebration, self-renewal, and setting out once again on our annual trek to make the most of what we do already have, to better ourselves and the lives of those around us.

     Christmas is a gentle wake-up call to remember we are here to make a difference on this planet, one day at a time, to focus on making what’s possible happen. Christmas is a time for melancholy, yes, but also for introspection. We remember that we have within each of us the ability to choose the pathways that make existence on Earth as worthy as what lives in the riches of our souls.

     Here’s what I’ve learned (often the hard way, mind you) so here’s what I have to share: In both business and in life, watch where you’re going, but always think about where you are. Be grateful for all that is yours, and continue your work to grow your business so you can help others from a position of strength … because the greatest gift of all is love wrapped up in charity.

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Visit tomorrow night for Hal’s annual classic story

Christmas In Ireland 

God Bless You One And All 

And Merry Christmas!

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Tapping Feet Tap

Untapped Potential

—–Take Note Owners, Managers, and Sales Professionals—– 

     Any good coach will tell you that nervousness is often a good source of energy that can be productively channeled.

     Stress is not always negative. Positive stress is required to be able to read this right now, to sit in a chair without falling off, to make love and excel in sports (well, okay, maybe not at the same time!), to talk on the phone … even, btw, txt msg!

     When stress, however, becomes negative … when it reaches a point of dis-stress or over-stress, it becomes physically, mentally, and emotionally unhealthy … often taking the high-risk leap from nonproductive to COUNTER-productive. It can quickly suck unsuspecting others into the whirlpool it creates.  

NOTE: Holidays are a primary cause of both negative and positive stress. To be better equipped to manage your holiday stress effectively, and keep it tipping to the “plus” side, go here for a 60-second quick fix:  http://bit.ly/Bb1Tw

     When you observe a customer or employee tapping feet (or other extremities), odds are (almost universally) that the individual does not want to be where she or he is, and is anxious to get out of the room or extract her or himself from the present situation.

     When you observe this, acknowledge the anxieties attached to the circumstances — show some put-yourself-in-their-shoes empathy (unless their shoes are by this time, really clicking away recklessly, in which case you may want to 911 a podiatrist!) —  and suggest an option like:

“Why don’t we take a break here and…”

“Let’s think on that subject for a little bit and talk about this other issue…”

     Like a speaker who’s focused on shifting verbal gears in order to prompt defensive arms-crossed listeners to “unfold” arms and rest their hands more receptively at their sides or on the table, you need to try out different thought directions.

     See if you can get the tappingto subside without calling attention to it. Raising someone’s consciousness about her or his nervousness can make that person even more jittery.

The more the tap subsides, the less you need to dance!

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