Getting Even

Is Getting Nowhere!

     “Don’t Get Mad. Get Even!”  says the T-shirt. “Those guys in that company misrepresented themselves to us, and we’re going to make sure they pay for it; we’ll make them look like chopped liver to the rest of the industry,” says the disgruntled company owner.

      “I put that business in business, and what do they do?  They turn around and try to stick it to me; I’ll fix their butts good; just wait ’til they try to raise some investor money,” says the ego-injured entrepreneur.

     It won’t work. None of it.  The more you pay attention to trying to get even with someone or some entity that did you in, the closer you come to doing yourself in. If you’re crazed about delivering justice, join a band of vigilantes … or start over again and become a lawyer.

     But stop with the need to extract revenge.

     Vengefulness is a waste of time and energy  that diverts attention and costs opportunity loss. It prevents you from doing what you really need to be doing, which is making sales and growing your own business. The more you worry about what others are doing or not doing, the closer you get to self-destruct mode! 

     Not only are these kinds of evil thoughts and misdeeds  harmful to the growth missions you need to rally behind, but the ill intents get talked about and emailed about and txtmsgd about … and it seldom takes more than a day for others connected with your industry (including customers and suppliers and investors and referrers) to find out what you’re up to.

    Plus, the more you try to cover, hide, and disown it, the quicker everyone finds out. In the end, you’ll hang for it because your reputation, trust, and integrity will be flushed away in one quick jerk of the handle!

     It’s just plain not worth it to take your focus off of making sales  and put it instead on paybacks for upsets you have with another business. The best way to beat up another business is to stay away from it, and not bad-mouth it, just — plain and simple — outperform it.

     The best way to outperform another business  is to earn greater customer trust by delivering what you promise and by bending over backwards consistently, 100% of the time!

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  Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

OK, so now you’re

knee-deep in self-control

     So, what’s next?  Well, now that you have a firm grip on yourself and total control of all those latent late night and early morning temper tantrums, what’s next on the agenda? How about some practical how-to stuff for defusing OTHER people’s anger? Oh, joy!

     First off,  you’re not likely to get an angry associate, employee, friend or family member to instantly calm down just because you can now wave printouts of this blog site at her or his face and point out that the angry feelings are a CHOICE. Right. That’ll get you a subway fare to Madison Square Garden and a sharp stick in the eye.

     What then can I do, oh Anger Guru? What then can I do?  You can START by really paying close attention to the person who’s angry and by listening carefully to what’s being said. To begin, when we lose sight of the present moment and make a conscious or unconscious choice to feel angry about something or at someone, our brains take us rushing into a past who-did-what-to-whom accounting of past wrong-doings OR into an imagined scenario that hasn’t yet happened (and may never)!

     The goal then is to try to help the individual who is angry to come back to the reality of each passing moment as it passes,  to be focused on the here and now. BUT, unless you’re a shrink (and especially if the rampaging bull is wielding some instrument of destruction), it may be in your best interests to simply pretend you’re a rock. Assuming though that the anger is something less than maniacal in measurement, consider the following:

1)  Ask the other person if they would be good enough to please slow down the torrent of complaints long enough for you to be able to write them down on paper so that you can give serious thought to solving each problem (or addressing each issue) one at a time. [Then do proceed to write down each point as a separate item on a list]

2)  Ask the angry individual to help you prioritize each of the items listed so that you can number them as 1: First most important to take care of, 2: Second most important to take care of, 3: Third most important to take care of, etc., etc.

3)  Attack the items in order of the ranking by paraphrasing what was said about each (i.e., “Now let’s see, if I understand you correctly” or “Do I understand you correctly to mean that when Mary pulled John’s toupee off, he reached for it and she went to bite his hand but her dentures fell into the mixing vat and got processed into the pickle jars that were just loaded on the truck that left twenty minutes ago? Is that what you’re saying?”

Repeat and paraphrase until the angry person agrees 100% with your understanding of what the upset is all about, then complete that with a positive comment: “Good. I’m glad I understand this.”

4)  Ask for help in resolving the issue at hand, or at least provide some alternative action options for the angry person to consider.

     Be consistently and pleasantly adult-like and rational and logical and unemotional throughout.  This may be harder than it sounds, but if you’ve done steps 1-4 above, odds are you will already have effectively taken the wind out of the sails and restored some calm and order. As you proceed through the list, items will simply dissolve.     

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You Suck Eggs!

Yeah, well suck THIS: I QUIT!

You can’t quit; You’re Fired!

     You KNOW that the mainstream media lie.  You know the economy isn’t getting better. You know because you see your sales performance. You know because you’ve had to make lousy cutback choices you hate.

     So you’re irritable.  Your fuse is getting shorter. You’re ready to jump down the nearest throat. And the last thing you want to hear is for somebody to tell you to chill! 

     Okay, sometimes it’s hard  to realize that your angry upset feelings are a choice. And sometimes you just want to steamroller over it anyway. You’ve just read 10 sentences of negative thinking.

     Here:  http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/4-steps-in-one-minute-zero-stress/  Try this one-minute diversion for something positive. Go ahead. I’ll wait for you. You’ll be glad you did. Click on it for a 60-second visit, then come back!

     You did it or you “copped out”?  You know what? Where your business, your family, your friendships –and frankly anyone you encounter– comes into play, you really can’t afford to not take advantage of every opportunity to get yourself into, and consistently demonstrate a positive frame of mind.

     Angry feelings ARE a choice.  Deep breathing DOES serve to reduce stress and de-fuse anger. The point is that unless you are monitoring yourself (especially if you’re the boss). no one else is going to do it for you!

     The old saying that it takes two to tango hovers in a holding pattern over ill intentions.  It’s ALWAYS the boss’s job to back off. Real leaders back off. There’s a time to charge forward but not when it involves stampeding over others you are responsible for leading. You are the one who must de-fuse situations… hard to do when your own is sizzling!

     There’s no challenge in accelerating anger.  There’s no intelligence in accelerating anger. There’s no taking back the words or tools used in accelerating anger. There’s no leadership in accelerating anger. There’s no integrity in accelerating anger. There’s only stupidity.

     Why?  Because –and I can promise you this– it will ALWAYS come back to haunt you, perhaps when you least expect it and when it can do you the most personal and / or business harm, but rest assured it WILL come back to haunt you.

     All that having been said,  it’s hard to imagine anyone dumb enough to do it anyway, right? Wrong! Wrong because anger is probably at least half the time an UNconscious choice, capable of rearing its ugly head in the most innocent of circumstances.

     The ounce of prevention  then has to do with making sure you literally surround yourself with positive thinking, positive people, positive statements as much of the time as possible, keep a “here and now” focus as much of the time as possible … and remember to breathe!

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“As a man thinketh, so is he.”

— THE OLD TESTAMENT

“You become

what you think about.”

— EARL NIGHTINGALE

     Don’t roll your eyes  and raise your sarcasm to a fever pitch until you try it. If you REALLY try it with your whole heart and soul and a burning desire, you will prove that initial resistance attitude wrong. All wrong.

You will do it IF YOU WILL DO IT! 

     And what do you guess  is the only thing that can keep you from doing it, from becoming what you think about? Well, now, if you know me, you can probably guess the answer.

     If you’re a new or infrequent visitor to this blog, you may not know that I constantly bang away at the realization you may want to consider (that behavioral science studies have proven conclusively) that all human behavior is a conscious or unconscious choice.

     If you pretend  that you are unable to become what you think about (now, I do mean really and truly brainwash yourself, and mercilessly drive yourself to the finish line, vs. a token ten-minute or ten-hour or ten-day or ten-week or ten-month commitment), then you must know that “un-ableness” is a behavior.

… and doesn’t that then make it a conscious or unconscious choice? 

Of course it does.

So why doesn’t EVERYone make the choice to become what she or he thinks about?

A)  Most people don’t choose to realize it’s a choice.

B)  Many people don’t choose to accept that it’s a choice, and

C)  Even those who do choose to realize and accept that the behavior of becoming what you think about is a choice choose to make it hard for themselves for that to happen.

— ————————

     It’s just as easy, often easier in fact,  to consciously choose for a behavior to be easy as it is to consciously or unconsciously choose for it to be hard.

     So, let’s suppose you’re on the hunt  for a relationship (love or business makes no difference to the process) or perhaps some massive amount of income. And if you’ve ever hunted anything, you know that it requires complete and total focus to be successful.

     So, how important to you is what you’re seeking?  If it’s genuinely worth it, turn on the charm and 1) think yourself succeeding, 2) think yourself succeeding, 3) think yourself succeeding as much as you can, every minute, every hour, every day.

     You must see yourself  in your mind’s eye enjoying your reward. Don’t want to do all that? Then you’re not serious about it, so just go back to that can of beer and your spider solitaire game, or TV football or soap opera, and call it a day. Oh, and stop torturing yourself with promises to do better. Just accept that becoming what you think about is a choice that you don’t choose to make.

     If you’re willing to choose  to accept the challenge of thinking yourself into success, however and you’re ready to choose to go for it, and pursue what you want even through the miserably low periods you’re certain to encounter (because we can’t control everything that’s outside of our minds), then do it. And call or email me to tell me about it.

     The people who believe all this are the ones who have done it. That alone should be a message! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US or 302.933.0116

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

When You Can’t Get +

Don’t Settle For –

     We are all humans  (I believe; at least my blog diagnostics don’t show quality visits here from Animal Planet — or any other planet, for that matter!) and because we are (human), it is part of our pattern of emotional instincts that when we cannot get positive recognition, we settle for ANY kind of recognition, and will sometimes resort to seeking NEGATIVE recognition when nothing else is forthcoming.

     Negative recognition  is, after all, better than no recognition at all, right? Wrong! Unless of course you happen to be 3 years-old … or a manic-depressant … or a masochist … or a hermit … or a piece of broccoli! 

     Aha!  But many of us ACT 3 years-old when we are not getting pats on the back (or fanny, if you’re on a sports team; or on your knee or the back of your hand if you’re a patient … why do doctors always pat reassurance into your knee or back of your hand?) This is true for sure.

     The point is  that seeking negative recognition is a mentally unbalanced and emotionally unhealthy behavior. Consider if you will that those who make a practice of this, are those who frequently prompt wars, fights, arguments, teenage “groundings” (remember those?), military court-marshals, disciplinary actions, prejudice, divorce, abandonment, murder, jail terms, HIGH risk!

     When we can’t get positive recognition  for something we’ve done or said or thought, we have a tendency to turn in the direction of seeking some alternative (vs. just letting it go, because letting go is life’s most difficult task!) In other words, we drag ourselves down to the point where getting verbally bashed actually serves as a payoff!

     Yeah, right;  poor me; I really did screw up; I deserve all the criticism; beat me! (HA!HA! At least I finally got myself noticed!) Hey, folks: this is a sick mental/emotional state that calls for professional guidance. We all take it on the chin sometimes, but when someone is out seeking to take it on the chin, there’s a problem there.

     If that someone is you, get help! If it’s someone who works for you, get that person help. Having to evidence negative behavior to get noticed (ala temper tantrums) can end up costing your your business, lickity-split! It only takes one knife-blade, one bullet, one match!

     Remember all behavior is a choice.

     Some people get stuck not realizing or practicing that. Sometimes a professional is the best one to get that behavior UNstuck. 

     Oh, one other thought,  be more conscious of how important positive recognition is to 99.99% of all employees (and children) and make a practice of dishing it out a whole lot more than you probably think is needed or appropriate. It’s hard to offer too much

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What’s Killing Your Business?

So much positive feedback on  “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” posted the other night:  http://halalpiar.com/2009/10/boost-your-business-in-3-minutes/ that I thought another evaluative exercise might be in order.

     Don’t scream, “Hi-YaaaAHHHH!”  in mock sarcasm and kick in your monitor screen when you read the next sentence that describes your homework assignment.

     If you’d like to boost your day-to-day and long-range business sales and operations  with 20 minutes of concentrated effort (and no consultant fees!), take a deep breath  http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/4-steps-in-one-minute-zero-stress/ and write your business’s obituary. Whaaat? Yup! Read the first 16 words of this paragraph again!

     No, it’s not easy.  Yes, it’s worth it! The exercise will be enlightening to say the least. The insights you gain may provide a guiding light to the revitalization of your business. Plenty of participants in my various entrepreneurship seminars have found this experience invaluable.

     Take any approach you like.  Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, and punctuation. At this point no one else in the world will see what you write anyway. The only requirement is to be honest with yourself.

     Some suggested questions to answer:  Itemize the highlights of the life of your business …

• When it was born?
• Who were the parents? 
• Where? 
• What was the startup business type and goal? 
• Why? (i.e., what prompted entering a particular industry or profession and what was the  intended result?) 
• How (what process used) did it get started? 
• How did it get to where it’s been in this last year of it’s life?

     What was the cause of death? 

• Any survivors? (Parents? Brothers? Sisters? Children? Grandchildren? Quotes/Testimonials from any of these people?)
• Service arrangements? (Will there be a viewing? Will services be private? Should there be an “instead of flowers” request?)      

     Spend as much or as little time as you like  (20 minutes usually works). Your goal is to present as complete a picture as possible of the life of your business if it were to end today, and to focus on achievements and contributions made.

     In your final analysis, after you’ve finished your write-up,  step back and ask yourself if the cause of death is your true exit strategy. Should there be more accommodation for having more children and grandchildren? Are the highlights the ones you most desire?

•  
  • Would you change the highlights if you could? 
  • What would you do differently if you could prevent the business from dying today? (Life saving surgery, if you will)
  • What would you do to ensure the business a longer life starting right this minute if you had the ability to step in now and spare it from death?
  • PSSSSST! What are you waiting for? 

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“Listen To Your Customers!”

     There is no single-sentence piece of advice,  guideline, or rule of thumb in all of business that’s more important. Your employees may be your greatest asset, but your customers are the reason your business lives, and the reason you get up out of bed and go to work every day.

     You are the boss.  That means — among 37 million other things you need to tend to — that, first and foremost, you must be putting yourself in the right place at the right time every day to be able to LISTEN to (absorb and process, not just hear!) your customers.

     Find out  what your customers REALLY think of your name, logo, themeline, reputation, service, branding, advertising, marketing, community involvement, pricing, packaging, cleanliness, vehicles, experiences with your products / services / employees / website . . . 

     You must ALWAYS  be asking for customer  opinions,  advice,  input,  suggestions, contacts, referrals, resources, networks … and then putting that information to work. Take it with a grain of salt if you like, but don’t blow it off or gloss over it!

I once knew a boss  who did all this listening, who actually hired professional facilitators and researchers to run opinion surveys and focus discussion groups, who gathered whole file cabinets full of customer information, and let it collect dust right up until the day he was forced to close his doors because he never heeded customer advice to upgrade his inventory of services

. . . and he never followed up  on the referrals and contacts his customers provided. It was just easier to do business the old way, using old systems, old inventory, old-thinking employees, and old contacts. It became a business too old for its own good.

     Customer Focus Groups  (targeted discussion sessions moderated by a professional presenter and interviewer) can be the most useful customer opinion and information-gathering tool you can use. Odds are, though, like professional business writing, it’s almost always (like probably 99.9% of the time) best to hire an outside professional to get the job done.

     Why?  One reason is that objectivity is critical to meaningful feedback. Two is that your customers will speak much more freely with an “authorized outsider” than they will with you and/or people in your organization.

     Outside professionals bring fresh perspectives and objectivity both to the table. And these are particularly valuable attributes when it comes time to interpret the findings. They are paid for what they do, Because they are not put on salary, they are really not “beholden” to you beyond the immediate assignment.

     You can usually count on  more honest and direct conclusions and hypotheses.

     Focus group format, facilitation, agenda, and especially the words that are used  can make a huge difference in what you learn… as different as the replies generated by asking someone WHY he or she was late, vs. asking HOW can being late in the future be avoided?

     Bottom Line?  How can you provide customer service or manage customer relations if you don’t know exactly and with certainty what your CUSTOMERS consider to be “service” and “relations”? It could mean something completely different than what you think.

FOCUS GROUP QUESTIONS?

Call or Email: 302.933.0116 or Hal@Businessworks.US  (“FOCUS GROUPS” in the subject line) 

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Call it whatever you want…

     Call it an incubator,  a co-op, a strategic alliance, shared platforms, networking, whatever you want . . . the bottom line is that the long-term business success effects of this sucky economy and dollar devaluation are going to be measured in terms of how much you can be both a leader AND a team player!

     The US Army teaches  that — among other things — to be a great leader requires also being a great teammate and follower. You can lead your business straight over the cliff by ignoring all other businesses around you and “going for broke,” if you choose a path of arrogance.

     The major difference  between arrogance and self-sufficiency and independence is that the first of these is an attitude. Combining forces with other businesses doesn’t render you helpless. If it does, you’ve selected the wrong business to work with, or you have an attitude problem.

     Combining forces with other businesses  should put your business — and the others — in a position of strength. It means that one business picks up where the other leaves off to the mutual benefit of all involved. Money can be involved, but it doesn’t always have to be. Ego is almost always involved; don’t let it be. Self-importance loses wars, and crushes business ventures!

     A Two-Way WIN-WIN:  I work with a bright young business that specializes in Internet marketing (website design and services, email and SEO programs, etc.). We combined website development interests because that firm’s strengths were tech-driven and mine were content-driven. We share responsibilities on work generated and produce a better, more complete product by focusing on what we do best.

     A Three-Way WIN-WIN-WIN:  A local liquor store and area deli have combined forces at a local fire department to raise money for an area charity by paying the fire department space rental and soliciting donations for admission to a “Giant Wine & Cheese Tasting Festival” that includes vendor donations of wine and cheese from a couple of dozen manufacturers and distributors who supply the two stores. Actually, if you think about it, this is like a 30-Way WIN situation.

     Can your business share  a workspace? A receptionist? A display area? A parking lot? A truck or delivery service? A database? Utilities? Cleaning services? Expertise? Research? Resources? Sales teams? Payroll services? Meeting rooms? Advertising media expenses? THINK about it!

     The next chapter in American business  will revolve around ways to economize even more than you are right now. The challenge will be to make the most of every resource, including those of neighboring or allied businesses. OPEN MINDS OPEN DOORS.   

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What’s Your T-Shirt Say?

Would you agree that when you’re at the top of your game and performing at your best, that the business you own or manage improves?

Would you agree that your business reaps the benefits of your attitude and performance with improved productivity, enhanced reputation and increased sales?

Of course it does, so how do you overcome the plateful of daily garbage in front of you and get yourself to that point?

     One solution  that has worked for thousands of participants in management training  workshops I’ve run:  Try designing your own T-Shirt!  No, you need not be artistic. You need only be honest with yourself.

Take 3 minutes to follow these 6 steps:

1.  DRAW  (assuming you do still own a pen or pencil) and label 3 blank T-shirts (“A” “B” and “C”) on that piece of scrap paper that’s sitting by your monitor.

2.  IMAGINE  that the 3 T-Shirts are real and that each has some word or words and/or some image or images on it that represent YOU . . .

A.  The way you used to be

B.  The way you are right now.

C.  The way you want to be.

3.  NOW FILL IN  the blank space on the front of each shirt with each A, B, and C message.

4.  STEP BACK  and ask yourself what each message means and what each communicates?

5.  OKAY, NOW ASK YOURSELF  why you are at B instead of C? What’s holding you back? (FYI, Odds are it is something you are consciously or unconsciously choosing.)

6.  WHAT CAN YOU DO  now (tonight, this morning, this afternoon) to be able to wear the “C” message on your T-Shirt right now? What is it that you need to choose differently? (Are you choosing to delay yourself? It’s just as easy to choose action now!)

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EX-employees can

be your best sales source!

     Remember that young dude  you liked who used to work for you? He was the guy who moved too fast for others in the department, and never seemed challenged enough, but there were no quicker-paced jobs open at the time, and he left for parts unknown? Well, he’s back in town and working for one of your major suppliers!

     How about Old Man Muckitymuck  who retired after 20 years with your company? Did you know he’s now on the board of directors of one of your biggest customers?

     And so it goes.  If you didn’t fire ’em, and they were people who left on good terms and simply moved on or retired, they represent a potential gold mine of accelerated sales, new revenue streams, and quality employee referrals, among other possibilities.

     Even someone who’s retired and living in some active adult community,  playing bocce by day, and poker by night, has formed new friend networks that can easily include the father of a major customer or the brother of a key prospect you’re trying to sell… maybe enough to tip the scale in your favor. Y’never know!

     But you never really WILL know  until you start digging and updating and taking inventory of who is where now, and how each may have an opportunity to help your current business needs. 

     Remember that these are all people  who have a working knowledge of your business and industry. They already understand your unique selling proposition, and — hopefully — have a positive attitude toward you and your business and the work experience they had with you. 

     That fact alone makes this group the ideal salesforce. Make them a captive audience and you never know where it can lead you. It is proven. It is being done by major business leaders in companies like DOW, and Microsoft, and Coca-Cola, and Deloitte. It is just as easily done by you. And it’s FREE!

     What’s required is simple. You get these folks together a couple of times a year — perhaps in a special “off-campus” social setting where you treat them to drinks and dinner, and perhaps some overnight accommodations and special events, including an update of what’s new since they were involved… and where you see things headed… and ask for their help.

     Add to that,  an email newsletter and a password-protected page or two on your website that allows for chatroom experiences and a bulletin board for classified ad postings.  

If you’re interested in a FREE “Benefits to Your Business” summary and FREE 10-Step Plan for initiating an Alumni Relations Program in your company, just shoot an email to me Hal@Businessworks.US with “10 STEPS” in the subject line and remember to include your name, business name and a phone number where I can call you with one free (no-strings attached) update to the attachments. Email and phone number privacy are guaranteed! 

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Input always welcome Hal@TheWriterWorks.com “Blog” in subject line or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Hal