“Envy is the religion

of the mediocre.”

–CARLOS RUIZ ZAFON, From his best-selling novel The Angel’s Game

      All of us have envied someone.  We’re human. But let’s hope by now we’ve outgrown those feelings or learned –perhaps the hard way– to put them aside. If you’re still struggling with them, and you also happen to be in the position of running a business, it might be a good idea to give some thought to where envious feelings are leading you.

     When someone else hits a home run  in business (in your industry or marketplace, or inside your own company!) many business owners and managers turn the other way, sometimes with a “shoulda been me” look of scorn on their faces…especially if the success is achieved by a competitor and / or a brother-in-law and / or a former employee…you get the picture. So what else is there to do except feel resentful?

     Well, how about  examine what went right for the other person and decide if there are any ingredients involved that might have application to your circumstances? I’m not suggesting that you have to pile on the other guy’s bandwagon and be an adoring teammate, or president of his or her fan club. I’m saying instead that it pays to be a detective and an explorer.

     When you take the time and trouble  to step back from what’s going on and what has been achieved, and objectively review and evaluate what has taken place that’s produced the end result, you will also be in  a better position to assess the dynamics of what occurred and have a clearer idea of what might possibly apply to your circumstances.

     In other words, take advantage  of what you know and what you can find out, and choose to make the  most of that information (instead of choosing to feel upset or depressed or vindictive or annoyed or ambivalent… or envious!)

     If “the road to hell”  is indeed “paved with good intentions,” envy of other’s accomplishments will most assuredly help to hustle you along the way. Instead make a conscious choice to put away your ego, and see each potentially envious situation as a great learning opportunity that you can absorb from and capitalize on. Take notes. Smile more. Open minds open doors.                          

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  Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Stop with picking your

yellow leaves, already!

     How many times a day, a week,  do you leave your desk to pick yellow leaves from the office plants, abandon your construction site for the nearest donut shop, surf the web while waiting for a conference or call, watch some horrendous network news on a waiting room TV, burst your energy balloon trying to think of who the person across from you reminds you of?

     Have you really nothing better to do?  Of course you do. So HOW do you choose to while away time that you have so much less of than you could possibly imagine, in even your wildest dreams? Notice I’m asking you to deal with PROCESS. What are the steps you go through to arrive at the point of workday lingering, daydreaming, hanging, dawdling, puttering, lazing?

     If you do this a lot, btw,  you are surely a government or corporate employee. [Don’t be offended; mindset-wise, there really is very little difference, you know, except that corporate folks actually have to turn a profit to earn a living.] Hopefully, you simply drift off occasionally and that’s it. If it’s more than once or twice a week, though, you may be part of the problem!

     Here’s a bright spot or two on this subject…

     As motivational guru Earl Nightingale  has often reminded us: YOU BECOME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT! http://halalpiar.com/2009/10/what-are-you-thinking/ and my sign for the wall for you, the boss, to help keep you focused http://halalpiar.com/2009/10/message-for-the-bosss-wall/ These two links will provide all the support you’ll ever need to change your fuzzy ways and be more productive.

     BUT, maybe you care not,  and can’t even concentrate enough to find a towel to throw in. Well, if THAT’s the case, think quick and hard about the last person who surprised you by dying. Is that where your lackadaisical, ambivalent, noncommittal, ass-dragging, not-give-a-damn attitude is taking you? Hmmmm. Getting a little heavy-handed there, huh? Well, no, not really…not if this message arrives in time to be a wake up call.

     The point is  that we need to be –as Henry David Thoreau once urged– forever on the alert! It’s VERY easy to slip into nonproductive, time-wasting tasks of avoidance that become hard to account for when we’re not getting where we want to go.

     I don’t know about getting your nose to the grindstone  (which I would think is a painful maneuver), pulling yourself up by the bootstraps (a difficult task for those wearing sneakers), and putting your head down and charging (which could no doubt be REALLY painful). All at the same time? Sounds messy to me.

     But keeping tuned in to the present moment  each passing moment as much as possible will sure go a long way toward keeping your life and work in a happy balance.

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OK, so now you’re

knee-deep in self-control

     So, what’s next?  Well, now that you have a firm grip on yourself and total control of all those latent late night and early morning temper tantrums, what’s next on the agenda? How about some practical how-to stuff for defusing OTHER people’s anger? Oh, joy!

     First off,  you’re not likely to get an angry associate, employee, friend or family member to instantly calm down just because you can now wave printouts of this blog site at her or his face and point out that the angry feelings are a CHOICE. Right. That’ll get you a subway fare to Madison Square Garden and a sharp stick in the eye.

     What then can I do, oh Anger Guru? What then can I do?  You can START by really paying close attention to the person who’s angry and by listening carefully to what’s being said. To begin, when we lose sight of the present moment and make a conscious or unconscious choice to feel angry about something or at someone, our brains take us rushing into a past who-did-what-to-whom accounting of past wrong-doings OR into an imagined scenario that hasn’t yet happened (and may never)!

     The goal then is to try to help the individual who is angry to come back to the reality of each passing moment as it passes,  to be focused on the here and now. BUT, unless you’re a shrink (and especially if the rampaging bull is wielding some instrument of destruction), it may be in your best interests to simply pretend you’re a rock. Assuming though that the anger is something less than maniacal in measurement, consider the following:

1)  Ask the other person if they would be good enough to please slow down the torrent of complaints long enough for you to be able to write them down on paper so that you can give serious thought to solving each problem (or addressing each issue) one at a time. [Then do proceed to write down each point as a separate item on a list]

2)  Ask the angry individual to help you prioritize each of the items listed so that you can number them as 1: First most important to take care of, 2: Second most important to take care of, 3: Third most important to take care of, etc., etc.

3)  Attack the items in order of the ranking by paraphrasing what was said about each (i.e., “Now let’s see, if I understand you correctly” or “Do I understand you correctly to mean that when Mary pulled John’s toupee off, he reached for it and she went to bite his hand but her dentures fell into the mixing vat and got processed into the pickle jars that were just loaded on the truck that left twenty minutes ago? Is that what you’re saying?”

Repeat and paraphrase until the angry person agrees 100% with your understanding of what the upset is all about, then complete that with a positive comment: “Good. I’m glad I understand this.”

4)  Ask for help in resolving the issue at hand, or at least provide some alternative action options for the angry person to consider.

     Be consistently and pleasantly adult-like and rational and logical and unemotional throughout.  This may be harder than it sounds, but if you’ve done steps 1-4 above, odds are you will already have effectively taken the wind out of the sails and restored some calm and order. As you proceed through the list, items will simply dissolve.     

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“As a man thinketh, so is he.”

— THE OLD TESTAMENT

“You become

what you think about.”

— EARL NIGHTINGALE

     Don’t roll your eyes  and raise your sarcasm to a fever pitch until you try it. If you REALLY try it with your whole heart and soul and a burning desire, you will prove that initial resistance attitude wrong. All wrong.

You will do it IF YOU WILL DO IT! 

     And what do you guess  is the only thing that can keep you from doing it, from becoming what you think about? Well, now, if you know me, you can probably guess the answer.

     If you’re a new or infrequent visitor to this blog, you may not know that I constantly bang away at the realization you may want to consider (that behavioral science studies have proven conclusively) that all human behavior is a conscious or unconscious choice.

     If you pretend  that you are unable to become what you think about (now, I do mean really and truly brainwash yourself, and mercilessly drive yourself to the finish line, vs. a token ten-minute or ten-hour or ten-day or ten-week or ten-month commitment), then you must know that “un-ableness” is a behavior.

… and doesn’t that then make it a conscious or unconscious choice? 

Of course it does.

So why doesn’t EVERYone make the choice to become what she or he thinks about?

A)  Most people don’t choose to realize it’s a choice.

B)  Many people don’t choose to accept that it’s a choice, and

C)  Even those who do choose to realize and accept that the behavior of becoming what you think about is a choice choose to make it hard for themselves for that to happen.

— ————————

     It’s just as easy, often easier in fact,  to consciously choose for a behavior to be easy as it is to consciously or unconsciously choose for it to be hard.

     So, let’s suppose you’re on the hunt  for a relationship (love or business makes no difference to the process) or perhaps some massive amount of income. And if you’ve ever hunted anything, you know that it requires complete and total focus to be successful.

     So, how important to you is what you’re seeking?  If it’s genuinely worth it, turn on the charm and 1) think yourself succeeding, 2) think yourself succeeding, 3) think yourself succeeding as much as you can, every minute, every hour, every day.

     You must see yourself  in your mind’s eye enjoying your reward. Don’t want to do all that? Then you’re not serious about it, so just go back to that can of beer and your spider solitaire game, or TV football or soap opera, and call it a day. Oh, and stop torturing yourself with promises to do better. Just accept that becoming what you think about is a choice that you don’t choose to make.

     If you’re willing to choose  to accept the challenge of thinking yourself into success, however and you’re ready to choose to go for it, and pursue what you want even through the miserably low periods you’re certain to encounter (because we can’t control everything that’s outside of our minds), then do it. And call or email me to tell me about it.

     The people who believe all this are the ones who have done it. That alone should be a message! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US or 302.933.0116

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

When You Can’t Get +

Don’t Settle For –

     We are all humans  (I believe; at least my blog diagnostics don’t show quality visits here from Animal Planet — or any other planet, for that matter!) and because we are (human), it is part of our pattern of emotional instincts that when we cannot get positive recognition, we settle for ANY kind of recognition, and will sometimes resort to seeking NEGATIVE recognition when nothing else is forthcoming.

     Negative recognition  is, after all, better than no recognition at all, right? Wrong! Unless of course you happen to be 3 years-old … or a manic-depressant … or a masochist … or a hermit … or a piece of broccoli! 

     Aha!  But many of us ACT 3 years-old when we are not getting pats on the back (or fanny, if you’re on a sports team; or on your knee or the back of your hand if you’re a patient … why do doctors always pat reassurance into your knee or back of your hand?) This is true for sure.

     The point is  that seeking negative recognition is a mentally unbalanced and emotionally unhealthy behavior. Consider if you will that those who make a practice of this, are those who frequently prompt wars, fights, arguments, teenage “groundings” (remember those?), military court-marshals, disciplinary actions, prejudice, divorce, abandonment, murder, jail terms, HIGH risk!

     When we can’t get positive recognition  for something we’ve done or said or thought, we have a tendency to turn in the direction of seeking some alternative (vs. just letting it go, because letting go is life’s most difficult task!) In other words, we drag ourselves down to the point where getting verbally bashed actually serves as a payoff!

     Yeah, right;  poor me; I really did screw up; I deserve all the criticism; beat me! (HA!HA! At least I finally got myself noticed!) Hey, folks: this is a sick mental/emotional state that calls for professional guidance. We all take it on the chin sometimes, but when someone is out seeking to take it on the chin, there’s a problem there.

     If that someone is you, get help! If it’s someone who works for you, get that person help. Having to evidence negative behavior to get noticed (ala temper tantrums) can end up costing your your business, lickity-split! It only takes one knife-blade, one bullet, one match!

     Remember all behavior is a choice.

     Some people get stuck not realizing or practicing that. Sometimes a professional is the best one to get that behavior UNstuck. 

     Oh, one other thought,  be more conscious of how important positive recognition is to 99.99% of all employees (and children) and make a practice of dishing it out a whole lot more than you probably think is needed or appropriate. It’s hard to offer too much

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Still Think You’re A Leader?

     Last night  we stepped back from the daily realities of running a business to examine some of the attributes of leadership and facing the reality that being “The Boss” and being “A Leader” may not always be one in the same. WOW! If, in fact, you got that far with the thinking, congratulations!

     Reality is  that we all accept leadership as a special quality. Most everyone would probably agree that a leader needs to have vision, knowledge, courage, integrity, discipline, judgment, and all the hackneyed, overblown qualities that earmark presidents and prime ministers and generals and admirals and corporate CEOs (well, okay, some corporate CEOs).

     But how often  do we hear

        about the need for “Tact” and  

         “Knowledge of psychology”? 

     A leader who possesses “force,”  who has tenacity of purpose, an inner “self-starter” drive, a personal magnetism, is rarely considered a person of “tact,” yet “rudeness” is not the definitive issue here; tact is what cushions the force of leadership upon reluctant minds… tact toward both seniors and juniors!

     The true leader  must have an insight into human nature. He or she must be a practical psychologist and must know and understand others. She or he cannot influence people without a deep understanding of what makes others “tick” and what motivates them, and how.

     We have addressed this  a number of times here, that the only way to truly understand and appreciate what makes other behave as they do is to first understand what makes ourselves behave the ways that we do.

Learning what makes you tick  will open the floodgates to figuring out others, and it is that which holds the magic key to superior leadership skills and practices.

     So where did all these words of wisdom come from? Yes, I have taught semester-long courses and untold training programs on the subject, but guess where tonight’s and last night’s LEADERSHIP material originated?

     If you said  the U.S. Army during World War II, you would be correct! There’s nothing new here. It’s all about being motivated and dedicated to assuming the responsibility for leading others, and it doesn’t matter if it’s 1941 or 2009.

The fact remains that ongoing self-discovery births and facilitates the best of corporate, organizational, political, and military leadership in every instance. Are you really doing all you can to lead your organization (even if it’s just a staff of one!) to successful performances?      

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OK, Boss, but are you a leader?

     A leader  has been defined as one who must first have a cause to lead, then possess an inner urge — the spirit of a crusader — in furthering that cause.

     Next,  it has been said that the leader must have a determination and even a ruthlessness in carrying that cause to success in the face of every obstacle.

     Finally,  a leader has been noted as someone who must be able to engender in those being led a willing and even eager cooperation in that cause.

Since the distinctions are not always clear, and since most of us reading this own or run a business, it may be worth taking two minutes out of our lives to assess some of the 8 basic differences between what we may know of someone who is a leader, and someone who “the boss.”

• The boss drives employees. The leader coaches employees.
• The boss relies on authority. The leader relies on good will.
• The boss says “I” a lot. The leader says “We” a lot.
• The boss says “Get there on time.” The leader gets there ahead of time.
• The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown. The leader fixes the breakdown.
• The boss knows how it is done. The leader shows how it is done.
• The boss makes work a drudgery. The leader makes work a game.
• The boss says “Go!” The leader says “Let’s go!”

I recently read of 16 key qualities that “have often been identified as indicators of strong leaders. These include: Vision, Knowledge, Force, Courage, Decision, Tact, Judgment, Knowledge of Psychology, Loyalty, Interest in Subordinates, Justice, Personal Dignity, Selflessness, Personal Integrity, and Discipline.” (and tomorrow night, we will explore some of the more curious points on this list!) 

It’s also been suggested to me that these 16 may be but “just a few of the many qualities desirable in a leader” . . . in fact, I have seen one study which identifies 83 (!) leadership qualities . . . and that “the line of differentiation between those qualities which go to make up a leader and those qualities which go to make up character is thin.”

It’s perhaps worthy of mentioning here as well that those qualities which go to make up character are EXACTLY what the character of your business AND YOUR BUSINESS BRANDING are all about! (and tomorrow night, we will likely experience some element of surprise at the source for much of what’s included in tonight’s post! Tune in Sunday night around 9:45pm ET!)      

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No, there’s never

a day that you’re

 not being evaluated

by SOMEone!

     Maybe you thought  since you run your business or department that you have passed all the tests and no longer need to be on the alert for others’ assessments? Braaaaaaaat! Wrong! You are being evaluated right this very minute by SOMEone, even as you read this.

     How do I know?  Because years of frontline experience as a consultant, writer, and teacher have proven the point thousands of times over.  Business owners, managers and entrepreneurs are high-profile folks who — like it or not — project parental images to almost all employees, many customers and most suppliers. YOU are a surrogate Mommy or Daddy. Yes, you are!

     And that image carries certain responsibilities.  You don’t have to agree with me or like what you’re hearing, but it’s the absolute truth! At some level, which is arguably different for everyone, people think of their bosses as parents. They won’t admit it, but they do!

     So, Daddy and Mommy,  if you want productivity from your employees, sales from your customers and cooperation from your suppliers (and referrers and investors, by the way), you need to adjust your attitude to make the most of the recognition afforded you, even if it is an unconscious and/or unwelcome level of recognition.

     Does this mean  you should now start treating everyone around you like children? Hardly. It does mean, though, that you need to be a touch more neurotic than you already may be because you need to be — as Thoreau once advised — forever on the alert!

     Like accepting the heat if you work in the kitchen,  recognizing and making the most of the respect accorded you is not only necessary, it is a great opportunity. Every encounter you have every day with every employee and customer and supplier is an chance to demonstrate your leadership and your integrity.

     You are being watched  when you think no one’s looking. You are being listened to when you think no one’s paying attention. You are having your Tweet read on twitter by someone somewhere who could make a difference for you and your business.

     Don’t make yourself into a basket case  over this news. Choose instead to honor and respect those who look up to you and who seek your guidance and who lurk quietly in the shadows waiting to learn from you.

     You have what it takes.  You got to where you are because you believe in yourself and your ideas. Accept the responsibility to lead and motivate and encourage and teach others around you because it will come back to you when you least expect it. Guaranteed! 

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  Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone!

What’s eating you is

what you are eating.

     Now, waitaminute!  I am not some flaky diet fanatic who claims to know the best ways to get your minimum daily calorie, saturated fat, lard and grease requirements. I am not on any brown rice and bean crusade. And I could care less if you think the Food Pyramid belongs in the desert somewhere.

     Here’s what I have to say:  You own or operate a business and/or you are an entrepreneur or you manage a business or a big chunk of a business, and/or you’re a professional salesperson. The last thing you need is to have to be sick in bed, run dry of energy, be speeding your brains out on the amphetamines in diet drugs, or getting any fatter than you are, right?

     Then why do you insist  on inventing reasons that you can only afford the time or the money to subsist on Oreos, Coke and Pepsi, Dunkin Donuts, Big Macs, Gummy Bears, Kentucky Fried Chicken, whipped cream in your latte, butter/syrup/jelly AND powdered sugar on your pancakes, 3-martini lunches, and those foil-wrapped dark chocolate and potato-chip stashes you keep hidden in your purse or briefcase?

     I’m not even going to talk about  all the big-time clogged artery-type physical ailments that accompany junkfood dependency. Let’s just stick with business stuff here. Are you REALLY serious about making your business work? If you are, you need to be REALLY serious about making yourSELF work because it takes two to tango (or even lap dance!).

     If you’re finding yourself  getting more irritable lately, don’t blame it on the economy. But you might want to do an honest assessment of what you’ve been eating and drinking. If you’re not sleeping well, and you’re tired a lot, take an inventory of what you’ve been eating and drinking.

     Yes, you CAN change it.  Yes, you CAN have a more successful business. Yes, you CAN start to get yourself to eat better without having to wait for your birthday or a New Year’s Resolution. All you have to do is make the choice. It’s really that simple. If you think it’s too hard, choose for it to not be hard. All behavior –let me say that again– ALL BEHAVIOR is a choice!

     Why make choices  that will make you and your business suffer? Besides, your better eating choices will make you and your business healthier, and that will increase the odds you return to this site again looking for more “food for thought”… and your return visits will make me very happy. (So, okay, do it for me then.) Happy better-eating-choices weekend!   

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Doctors were never intended

to be businesspeople.

     Doctors teach  us every day how NOT to run a business. They are over-stressed, under-nourished, over their heads financially, and under the radar of best business practices. Sure there are exceptions. There are exceptions in every field of endeavor.

     But after 25 years  of working as a practice development business consultant and a personal and professional growth and development counselor to physicians and healthcare executives, I know whereof I speak.

     More than half  of the thousand-plus doctors I have known and worked with never wanted to be doctors in the first place. Many were pushed into it by well-intentioned parents who saw only the media-glorified healer earning big bucks… parents who pulled their buggy whips out of storage.

     I don’t know any longer,  but only a few short years ago, the average doctor only lived to be 58 years old. The stress of the work is literally inhuman. Medical schools and training, like military boot camps, breed and cultivate stress. Some good reasons, but mostly not.

     Ridiculous nonstop work shifts  that can only be maintained with easy-access sugar snacks and self-prescribed amphetamines carry over into reality as doctors face the need to juggle (and drum up) patients and referrals, manage staffs and offices or facilities, run businesses, comply with insurance dictates and every type of regulation imaginable, then cope with malpractice issues… oh, right, and maybe even have families. No thanks.

     Yeah, but think of the money.  I know of surgeons who take home close to two million dollars a year after taxes. Without exception, they are physical wrecks, with severely fractured family lives, if any, and have forgotten to laugh… and pray… and eat right… and sleep right… and exercise… and be happy!

     Many drink too much  or pop too many pills or live like zombies. So, yeah, think of the money.

     The bottom line is  that we need to give doctors a break. They don’t have any inventory to sell, or staff who can step up to let them take time off to rest or vacation more than a few days. They are devoted to delivering care to patients but won’t get paid by insurance companies if they spend too many minutes with each patient.

     Oh, and the insurance companies  often don’t pay the doctor until many months after patient care is delivered, and even then it’s typically a nightmare trying to collect what’s owed. Healthcare screw-ups are not because of doctors.

     And healthcare screw-ups  will NOT be solved by any kind of universal federal government mandates. A competitive business arena must exist if healthcare is in fact ever to be viable and available to all. And physicians must be allowed to be an integral part of the process. They deserve the opportunity to deliver quality care without politician interference. 

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