When is the customer wrong?

You want the real answer, or the make-believe one?

The make-believe answer is that the customer is wrong when he or she acts, thinks, or behaves wrong — is rude, insulting, crass, mean-spirited, slovenly, repulsive smelling, too-tattooed or overly-pierced, loud, arrogant, drooling, dribbling, fist-waving, table or countertop pounding, or threatening to throw shoes.

And you can run around self-righteously bitching at the elevator operator, maintenance person, or your Mother, pretending that the obnoxious ignoramus is a descendent of some dumb and dumber Neanderthal gene pool.

You can do this until you’re blue in the face or get yourself fired or drunk or sick, or take up smoking again . . . none of which, I can assure you, will help your cause.

On top of all that, it doesn’t even matter that the nasty customer spit on your shoe, called you an illegally-birthed person, smelled of garlic or not bathing, sic’d his or her dog on your ankles, or paid her or his bill with seven thousand rolls of pennies.

Your indignation will come quietly to an end when (if) you next stumble onto a “right” customer.

Aaaah, but Mr. or Ms. Neanderthal will not recover so quickly.

In fact, studies prove that she or he will tell at least ten other people about the bad experience and each of those individuals will tell at least ten others.

At least one person I’ve heard of makes a point of sending out email blasts to 250 contacts offering the condemning details of why she will never again deal with a disrespectful business.  Let’s see, that’s 2,500 bad vibes . . .

So, your one momentary (perhaps only fraction of a second) slip of a snotty comment or a copped attitude or a demeaning or disrespectful action –even as seemingly innocent as a wink or blink at the wrong time, or an inappropriate giggle/gumchew/ noseblow if you’re on the phone!– will snowball into a major bad news broadcast to at least 100 other people, many (maybe all) of whom could have been prospective customers. 

Can you really afford to lose that many opportunities?

     So here’s the REAL answer:  NEVER!

     Let me say this another way:  The customer is ALWAYS right!  And except for physical violence, there are NO exceptions.  Why?  Your job is to provide the product or service being purchased regardless of whether you like the purchaser or not, regardless of what the purchaser says or the way the purchaser says it!

If you don’t like that, choose to change the way you think about it.

  It’s called “take it on the chin!”  The payback is that the reputation you’ll gain by being kinder than necessary will come back to haunt you, with more sales!

     Remember that everyone you meet (customers included) is fighting some kind of battle.  Giving the benefit of doubt breeds sales and customer loyalty!  

# # #

Hal@Businessworks.US    931.854.0474

You’ve only one year to live.

What do you do with yourself?

Your business?

     Far-fetched?  Hopefully, yes.  But possibly, no.  It’s often been said that all of life is simply preparation for death, and that all we ever do from the moment of birth, is begin to die.  That’s admittedly some pretty heady philosophical stuff that many of us shy away from thinking about. 

     But is it worth considering? 

     Of course (unless, that is, you have little or no regard for yourself, your business, your family and friends, in which case –assuming you are reading this– you are probably a hermit in a cave with a laptop, and it’s probably time for you to rub some sticks together and begin thinking about what’s for dinner!) 

     Okay, back to serious for a minute, what are the first three things you think of in answer to each of the two headline (in dark red) questions above?  What do you think about your answers?

     What about if those questions followed a revised headline statement that said: You’ve only 6 months to live . . . ? 

     Would your answers change?  How?  How much?  And what if the headline statement only gave you one day? 

     This exercise can be very useful in the thinking process of establishing both life and business priorities (as well as delegating, and decision making) because whatever your responses may be, they serve to push the envelope.  It’s hard to imagine choosing to spend time doing tasks of avoidance, and harder still to imagine assigning lesser values to the tasks that are most important. 

     By forcing your focus on this for a minute or two, you can almost always prompt yourself to assess and evaluate situations and options (especially stressful ones) more realistically.  You will certainly make yourself more productive (the way you are the day before you leave for vacation?) more often. 

     Yes, yes, I know, you might rather join the hermit hunting down some berries and a squirrel to BBQ.  (I’ve heard the furs can actually be quite warm, assuming you’ve managed to save them from a few dozen meals’ worth, and sew them together. Okay, Gorilla Glue.)

     So, give it a chance (not the squirrel fur!).  For a grand total of about 2 minutes of applying your mind to such a “what if” circumstance, you stand to gain a finely-tuned and highly accurate appraisal of what’s important and what’s not, and what should be tackled in what order.  It sure beats dusting file tops, alphabetizing your DVD’s, and counting out-of-state license plates in a parking lot!

     “Bah!  Dis exercise is nuttin’ so revealin’,” you might exclaim. 

     Okay, so take it one more step.  You with me?  Get a piece of paper out (I know, you don’t own any paper; well, borrow a piece!) and write out your own obituary notice.  Ah, now there’s a challenge.  Notice what you mention first and second and third (and last) about your life.  Pay attention to what you have to say about you.  THAT’s what’s important!                halalpiar  

# # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 114 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

The best New Year’s Day 

message I can share

with you comes 

. . . from one of my life’s heroes, Dr. Wayne Dyer.  It’s a 10-Point Pursuit Plan that I’ve dressed up a bit for the occasion, for your business, for your SELF, and to share with your family.  If you succeed at making only HALF of these actually work consistently, I GUARANTEE that this coming year will be as happy, healthy and prosperous for you as humanly possible. 

DO YOUR SELF, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR BUSINESS A FAVOR and read these ten points aloud to yourself.  Write them down.  Carry them in your wallet/pocketbook/briefcase.  Tape a copy to your bathroom mirror, your dashboard, your computer workstation, inside your desk drawer, your workout bag, your refridgerator, the closet bar that holds your hangers. 

READ AND RECITE before you go to bed, when you wake up, and any other time you can squeeze it into your day.  You will positively amaze yourself with the results after just 21 days, and it’s FREE!!  Go for it!

1.   Want more for others than you do for yourself.

2.   See yourself already having what you seek.

3.   Be an appreciator of everything in your life as much as you can throughout each day, every day.

4.   Stay in touch with your own and other positive human energy sources, and laugh as hard and often as you can. 

5.   Understand resistence, and help yourself and others to go with the flow.

6.   Imagine yourself surrounded by the conditions you want to produce.

7.   Understand the path of least resistence.

8.   Practice radical humility.

9.   Be in a constant state of gratitude.

10.  You can never resolve a problem by condemning it. 

If you think you’re going to give up on this, don’t start it.  A little bite will only leave a bad taste.  If you think you have what it takes to get your act together and take it on the road, if you think you have enough self-discipline to follow and practice the behaviors these 10 points suggest, you will positively succeed — even against all odds.  Remember these 10 points are all about behavior.  Behavior is a choice!

If you need reinforcement or reassurance, be in contact: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (“BLOG 10” in subject line)             halalpiar 

# # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 113 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

What are you

waiting for?

I know.  You’re waiting for a parade.  The doctor?  Next Christmas?  Someone else to go first?  Your parent’s approval?  Your boss’s approval?  A work order?  5PM?  Lunchtime?  Vacation?  Your birthday?  A full moon?  High tide?  Rock bottom?  Another way out?  The Mets to win the World Series?  The car in front of you to get out of the passing lane?  Your child to become President?  Your Father to strike oil?  A winning lottery ticket?   

If you answered “YES” to any of the above, or anything even remotely resembling any of the above, you are too filled with excuses to make a success of yourself.  I can’t help you.  You need a shrink.  Happy New Year and come again sometime.

Now.  Who’s left out there?  Anybody?  Good.  Well, then there’s still hope after all.  If you’re truly not waiting for some event or some person in order to move forward with your life –and especially your business pursuits– then odds are you’ve just been procrastinating. 

Putting stuff off is okay sometimes.  It happens to all of us.  But if you don’t want to end up like those I dismissed in the second paragraph, you might need to give yourself a smack alongside your head or (if you can figure out how to do it) kick yourself in the butt, and get yourself in gear!

How much more productive can you bewith your waiting time (you know. . . bank lines, traffic lights, bridges, RR crossings, commuter trains, subways, boats and buses, the dentist, MVB)? 

Next question: what’s in your pocket or briefcase or pocketbook right now? 

If your answerdoesn’t include a pen, paper, or laptop, or a cassette recorder (remember those?) or cellphone (no, not to call that hot date for after dinner suggestions, but perhaps handle a few business calls that don’t require extensive note taking) or blackberry (no, not to text message –er, sorry, txmsg– cousin Bertha to see what time she’s headed for the local gin mill, but perhaps to send yourself some notes of ideas you get so you needn’t carry them in your head?) or digital camera or pocket pad or sticky notes, or a book to read . . . the answer to the first question is that you can be a LOT more productive.  [Hint: These are all tools or avenues of productivity except as noted!]

I know peoplewho’ve put together complete photo essays standing in line at the post office.  I know highly acclaimed writers who write as many street and business names down as they can see while stopped at red lights (that they can cherry-pick from later when they’re seeking character and location names for their works of fiction).  I know an engineer who says he stimulates his brain by sketching vehicles and machinery while waiting for trains and bridges.

The point is, like the old Schlitz Beer commercials used to proclaim, “You only go round once in life!” (Well some maybe do a few trips, but most of us . . .) and we all only conveniently remember how short lifetimes can be when someone close to us passes away. 

SO . . .

• Stop with the delays, excuses, nonproductive and unproductive waits. 

• Stop staring into space wishing you were somewhere else. 

• Stop bemoaning the lousy delay experiences and start DOING the stuff you’ve been saying, “Well, someday, I …” TODAY is “SOMEDAY”! 

Some action is always better than no action.

And, by the way, remember that it’s ALL YOUR CHOICE because all of behavior is a choice.  So choose to march shoulder-to-shoulder with time. 

Make the most of it. 

Make your mark. 

Make a difference.  

# # #

SKIM, MEMORIZE, CHEW,

DIGEST, OR JUST DELETE ~~~ 

Here’s a short list of what I think were some of my best blog blurts for 2008.  If something strikes you and you want the whole story, just go to Archives in far right column and click on the month, scroll (and if the dates not showing, just click on next at bottom of the page)!

Anyway, here’s a compilation of hot headings . . . stuff that makes you think about where you are and where you’re going which, on the cusp of a brand new year, is probably a good thing for all of us.  A few more tomorrow.  But for now: 

1) Think and

2) Laugh and

3) Have a great (and safe!) New Year’s Eve!   halalpiar

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter — ’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”  Mark Twain  5/1/08

“The solution to any group or organization problem lies within the group or organization that has the problem…No one knows you better than you…Knowledge is strength”  5/2/08

“Write a billboard–7 words or less with a beginning, middle and end, and be persuasive–that encapsulates what you want to express before you express it in a letter, business plan, print or broadcast advertisement, sales pitch, speech, short story, editorial, script, sermon, novel, poem, email, chapter…”  5/6/08

“If everyone in your company knew how to deal effectively with customers, you wouldn’t need any customer service reps!”  5/18.08

“A sale is made or broken in the first 10 seconds, and there is no such thing as a second first impression.”  6/1/08

“OPEN MINDS OPEN DOORS!”  6/4/08

“If you think your head is worth $24.95, buy a $24.95 helmet!”  7/8/08

“Life is more like baseball than any other sport!”  7/11/08

“Do you have all your marbles but can’t find the playground?”  8/6/08

“You ARE your attitude!”  8/15/08

“Your every action, your every thought, is your CHOICE!”  8/19/08

“We do best what we most enjoy!”  9/7/08

“Besides that they suck, meetings waste time; hold your next meeting STANDING!” 9/16/08

“Hustle your muscle — SOME action beats no action!”  9/24/08

“People need to be rewarded and motivated at the level of what’s important to them at the time.”  10/5/08

“The sooner you accept the ugly fact that you have to be a salesperson, doctor, the healthier your practice will be!”  10/10/08

“You have a stableful of race horses that act like they came from wagon-train school?”  10/13/08

“I’m tellin’ you, ball, next pitch . . . you gotta be a strike!”  10/20/08

“Just go to the basement and make more money!”  10/24/08

“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”  Dr. Wayne Dyer 10/29/08

“Take two talkwalks, get a good sleep, and call me in the morning!”  11/8/08

“Where laughter fails to heal, it never fails to ease the pain.”  11/13/08

“Sleeping With The Boss?”  (Family Business Ups & Downs)  11/22/08

“What one thing could you be doing better?”  12/1/08

“I coont efen spel untreeprenewer, an’ now I are one!”  12/6/08

“EVERY purchase decision is emotionally-triggered!”  12/12/08

“Is what you’re doing right this very minute taking you to where you want to go?”  12/27/08 

… and thank you, worldclass #1 novelist Dean Koontz for being such an authentic, inspiring, and upstanding human being! 

# # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 111 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Is what you’re doing right this

very minute taking you to

where you want to go?

     You run your own business, or a number of businesses.  You know who you are.  You know you’re an entrepreneur but you don’r readily admit it.  (Why?  Some other time.)  Right now, what matters is that you step back for the couple of minutes it takes to read this, and pat yourself on the back.

     What’s the reward backpat for?  You deserve to appreciate yourself for believing in yourself.  And you should probably get a medal for keeping your ego in check enough to engage the “missing ingredient” help you need from those with the expertise to excel at the tasks you never mastered.

     You haven’t been squirreled away this holiday season assessing your past business moves and decisions and carefully designing your next gameplan strategy for 2009.  I know this because I know if you are truly the stuff entrepreneurs are made of, these are things you do weekly, if not daily or hourly. 

     While others are racking their brains with planning exercises, you are busy testing and trying new ideas and new twists on old ideas.  You do this trial and error thing all year long because there’s just not enough time to take your advisory board on a retreat weekend, or lock up in some hotel room for days on end talking each other’s brains out. 

     That’s time that could be spent doing it, right?   

     In fact, odds are you hate to think about or plan anything farther out than about 60-90 days.  You prefer not thinking past 30!  And you’d rather get in and out of a convenience store with breakfast to eat while you drive than to sit down in a restaurant for more than 15-20 minutes, or at home where you’d have to waste time cleaning up after yourself, except maybe on Saturday or Sunday, when you can move a little slower. 

     Shopping excursions you actually enjoy are probably limited to Staples or Office Max, and to Lowes or Home Depot.  I say all this just to let you know I get it.  I got it.  And, you, as independent a cuss as you may be, are not –surprise– alone.  I’ve been working with entrepreneurial whack-o’s like you most of my life because I love the challenge, high energy, enthusiasm, and turn-on-a-dime response level.

     What’s important to know is that YOU, and others who fit chunks of this profile I’ve outlined, are the catalysts in society that in fact make the world go around. 

     If it was not for you and other dreamer/doers we would surely no longer be a (at least partly) civilized nation on this fragile planet.  There would be no industry or marketplace or culture or technology to speak of.

     Now with all this positive fluff floating around, it’s also important that –to be and/or continue to be successful– you maintain a balance with reality.  This means you need to be forever vigilent about  recognizing one extremely critical entrepreneurial business factor. 

The foundation of your business rests squarely on shifting sands, and the stability of your enterprise is only as strong as your ability to remain flexible enough to shift when the sands shift. 

     Those who entrench themselves thrive only in corporate environments that lack this balance and awareness.  And you can only maintain your own ability to go with the flow by staying focused on which ways the moving targets move. 

     Is what you’re doing right now with your business growth, development, and presentation of itself (how it communicates its messages) keeping a step ahead of the pace within the universe of business you’ve chosen?  Is what you’re doing right this very minute taking you to where you want to go?

     In other words, for example: Are you making the best possible most-in-demand kinds of pizzas with the best possible ingredients for the market you most want to capture and presenting them at the price and service level that will usher in the sales you need to generate the profits you want? 

     REMEMBER:  Shifting sands work just fine when you’ve got a four-wheel drive vehicle, can deflate and inflate your tires according to how packed the surface is, have a couple of pieces of planking with you in case you get stuck, and are constantly monitoring wind, tide and precipitation (where appropriate), temperature and other weather conditions.

     Stay alert.  Don’t get hurt.  Build bridges, but don’t burn them.  Make sure the risks you take are “REASONABLE.”  Always imagine a “worst case scenerio” before you act. 

Remember your energy and the people around you in your life are your most importanat assets. Protect them by keeping on top of your stress, not under it!

halalpiar

# # #

See Nov 29th post (Nov Archives, far right) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 108 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

     ‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, were new toys, new clothes, new computer and mouse. While I on my YouTube, Mama all a Twitter, forum posts on Face could make Rudolph jitter.

OMG!  What to our wondering eyes did appear but a pile of wrappings, half-filled glasses of cheer; some wine in this one; in the other, some beer.

Then out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, it was junior’s new pull toy descending the ladder that Santa had climbed to get up on our roof when Blitzen drank beer and twisted her hoof . . . Okay, okay.  Enough! 

     It’s back to business and personal inventory time. 

     It’s that time of year to itemize, sort out, assess, adjust and go forward. 

•      So, what didn’t work this past year? (Not “why?”; that might take weeks to answer, just “What?”). 
•      And what, praytell, is working now? 
•      What needs to be eliminated? 
•      And what will work going forward? 
•      What needs to be reevaluated?  
•      What needs to be fixed?  Adjusted?  
•      Completely overhauled? 
•      What needs to be attempted? 
•      What needs to be planned? 

     Remember, this is YOUR business and YOUR self we’re talking about here, so ONLY YOU can decide where to go next and ONLY YOU can choose how to get there.  ONLY YOU know the real answers to all the questions about growing your self and your business! 

     And after hours of research and surveying, the bottom line is –dear entrepreneur, dear business owner and manager– that in the end, YOU must charge forward by experience, instinct, and informed subjective judgement.  YOU must take REASONABLE risks!

     What you choose as a course of action may be wrong, but YOU are the captain of your ship, and YOU can adjust the course you’re taking at any hour of the day or night, or simply put into port for a short layover to get yourself more focused if need be, simply by choosing!  (Since all behavior is a choice.) . 

     No excuses here.  Get hopping! 

     It’s YOU and YOUR BUSINESS that need your input and guidance and decision making as the 2009 bell starts to ring.  No one else can do it for you!                        halalpiar 

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 107 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

A toy truck, a stroller, 

and pub coasters

strung with dental floss…

     A few years ago, our second or third trip to Ireland, Kathy and I –romanticized by the classic Bing Crosby Christmas song, “Christmas In Kilarney”– spent Christmas (our first away from home) at Kilarney Country Club. 

     Up a rocky, grass-between-the-tires dirt road from downtown Kilarney, jockeying “the wrong side” car controls to bounce cheerfully along between the seemingly endless stone walls that separated cows from sheep, we drove under a brick archway and pulled into a historic-looking brick complex that seemed to sport about three dozen two-story townhouses. 

     There was one other car at the far end.  We parked, found a smiling, green-eyed, freckled face and bubbling thick Irish accent at the office counter.  We registered and unpacked.  We had a spacious two-bedroom upstairs arrangement with living room and kitchen downstairs.  Our windows overlooked the property’s main courtyard and pathway to the Country Club Pub. 

     It seems when I think back that after the first day of being rebuked by a rude non-English speaking tourist family of six that literally comandeered the odd 3ft-deep indoor pool, we were actually the only guests there for the rest of the (Christmas) week. 

     We made the trek into town everyday, a beautiful, historic, bustling hub filled with happy holiday shopping locals, who seemed to visit a shop or two, then stop in a pub, then visit a shop or two, then stop in a pub . . . you get the idea.  And we drove hundreds of miles of picturesque unspoiled (and unlittered) countryside during the week, meeting only pleasant, accommodating-to-a-fault natives all along the way. 

     Night driving seemed a bit perilous, so we opted for evening visits to the Country Club Pub (the alternative was staying in our unit with three tv stations, two of which were German!).  The only Christmas tree we could find ($45 American) made Charlie Brown’s look like Rockefeller Plaza.  I think it was about 30 inches tall and had about 16 (or maybe it was 14?) scrawny branches. 

     We had no ornaments, but confiscated a wide range of carboard pub coasters in our travels, and strung them up with pieces of dental floss, a homemade alluminum foil star on top.  We stuffed two “Season’s Greetings”-scrawled plastic shopping bags with small sofa pillows and hung them in our windows. 

     We grocery-shopped for the all-time elaborate brunch of Irish rasher (bacon), eggs, cheese, jam, butter, toast, fruit, crackers, cavier, coffee, tea, and a bottle of asti that (being entrenched deep in beer and ale country, cost 11 trillion dollars American) tasted a lot better than it was. 

     We exchanged gifts we bought walking down opposite sides of the downtown, waving in between shops, a book for me, a piece of Irish crystal and a little stuffed Irish Christmas Bear for her, plus some other goodies.  It was great! 

     Every minute there was great, even when 15 native Kilarney guys had us singing with them (at the Country Club Pub where they’d hiked to by flashlight from their nearby farms) until 3am which led us to the discovery that no one there had ever even heard of the Crosby song, “Christmas In Kilarney”!!! 

     With the rows of “y’got ta finish dem” topped-off pints of beer and ale lined up from one end of the bar to the other, planted there when 11:15pm closing time came, it ultimately mattered not that anyone heard of any song as long as you sang.  And sing we did!

     So much for that, but we had a wonderful experience there.  Just one thing was missing.  Family.  We spent half the afternoon trying to phone home, with circuit connections going from where we were on Ireland’s West Coast, to Northern Ireland, to Boston, to Florida, to New York, to the clan in New Jersey who sounded like they were in a tunnel. 

     It made us realize that all the happiness of the week there was momentarily lost to being lonesome for family.  We managed to bounce back after that when the resort manager and his wife (who we suspect might have been listening in to our phone connection efforts) invited us to their home to see the doll baby stroller Santa brought for their daughter.  (Last Christmas, Santa brought the doll!).  I think their son got a toy truck.  One single present each and those children were in heaven! 

     That certainly gave us cause for pause.  We in America are blessed with so much, and family is, well, what Christmas is all about now, isn’t it? 

     I truly hope for you that you enjoy what you have today, and not take any of it for granted. 

     Oh, one last thing: Please remember to God Bless Our Troops for their eternal vigilence that grants us the freedom we have to celebrate this joyous day and season!  Enjoy!

Peace be to you.           

The original of this Christmas story appeared on 12/25/08 on this blog site.

# # #

Hal@TheWriterWorks.com

Not A Cursor Is Stirring . . .

     I started a couple of nights ago with a post of some nostalgic recollections of some Christmas’s past, but then got myself caught into a second-wind rush of business thinking again for the last two nights’ posts.  Is that kind of like going on vacation and taking half a week to unwind and realize you’re on vacation? 

     Anyway, I hope you will take a look at all three of those posts.  They’re certainly two of my writing extremes.  You may like all or neither, but if you prefer one direction over the other, please call or write me and let me know. 

     I continue to straddle the line between literary fiction interests and hard-nosed (but light-hearted if one could possibly have both a hard nose and a light heart?) business teachings. 

     Having been a businessperson, professor, consultant, and author makes it hard to get it out of my system, but I love writing fiction too, and often find myself writing blog posts on a coin toss!. 

     As for this blog site, I have all kinds of analytical stuff to digest, but it rarely helps me know how to most effectively divide my writing pursuits because YOU –you who actually return here without threat of punishment– are really the only ones who can help me do that. 

     So do pass along your thoughts on what you’re more or less interested in.  I may not pay any attention, but I’ll love you for trying.  Seriously, I will greatly value your input. 

     I figure if you’ve read all this, and gotten this far, you either relate to something I’ve written, or you wish me off the planet, or you’re stealing my ideas to start up a new government in Bongo-Bongo (I DO get a lot of regular visits from many foreign countries!), or your tv is broken and you’re ready to join a lonely hearts club, or you’ve got 16 kids with stockings to fill and toys to assemble and you’re doing tasks of avoidance right now by pretending to be engaged in important research as you hover over your screen, or you’re a really sick puppy?!  

     SO:  Tis the night before Christmas, and all through your mouse, not a cursor is stirring, not even the souse who lives next door and pounds on your door when you stomp on the floor and call him a louse . . . whew!  Can you tell I had a glass of Christmas Eve wine? 

     Really, all you dear visitors, I wish for each of you the happiest, healthiest, and Merriest Christmas of all time.  Stay close.  Stay Safe.  Stay warm.  Love Those You’re With and Miss Those You’re Not With.  Relax.  Smile.  Laugh.  See you sometime after a late Christmas brunch (with some fun comments about one very memorable Christmas in Ireland!). 

     Have a great sleep (unless you’re in Bongo-Bongo and just woke up!) and a great day tomorrow!  

# # #

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 106 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

You didn’t know Santa smoked?

     The stockings (um, our real socks, not today’s designer specials that hold ten gallons of goodies) were hung (actually safety-pinned to the back of the stuffed chair because the only “chimney” in our 3-room apartment next to the railroad tracks was the incinerator out in the hall that spewed nose-killing smoke around all the door openings when the garbage was burned in it every week) with care (rolling pin threats insured that the safety pins were delicately applied).

     Yeah, carrots for the reindeer and milk and cookies for Santa (left with a note begging for one or two things each) were inevitably transformed to early morning crumbs, drops of spilt milk, an empty booze bottle (Santa needed to warm up after all that North Pole snow) and cigarette butts (you didn’t know Santa smoked?).

     Let’s stay with the socks.  So, these were always the best because when we reached in, we pulled out great stuff like walnuts, and maybe an orange (depending on how big your feet were since this measurement dictated the sock you were allowed to pin up).

     Sometimes, we’d get hard candies, maybe even a candy cane, or Topps Bubble Gum with baseball cards, and almost always the big deal-breaker: a comic book!  If you were really lucky, you might get a new pair of shoelaces or (Zounds!) a pink rubber ball!

     I was probably 15 before I realized that not everybody removed and counted every single one of the 3,000 shreds of tinsel strips and laid them neatly in wax paper wrapped batches of 50 to save for next year, always a challenge after they had been sprayed with canned white “snow.” 

     We never got much in the way of gifts, but we were never hurting for canned white snow, which seemed to just miraculously appear somewhere in between the booze bottles.

     Relatives we hated always showed up with stupid presents we didn’t want (a new set of wheels for a toy car I didn’t have, a boat compass –whoot whoo!– a great amenity for my used, bent 24″ balloon-tire Schwinn bike that had a broken chain and a hitch in its git-along, a plaid shirt from the Salvation Army).

     Neighbors showed up to drink.  Dad’s drinking friends showed up to eat.  It was like somebody robbed the delicatessen across the street once a year.  From Christmas ’til New Year’s, we ate pounds of bologna, salami, cheese, ham (if the economy was good), and coleslaw ’til it was coming out our ears.  My little brother opted for his new shoelaces, which he claimed tasted better.

     Sounds pretty gruesome, huh?  Well, when you don’t know any better . . . it was just fine with us.  I guess there was too much drinking and smoking going on too, but, hey, it was what people did then (and some still do!). 

     Anyway, we did have two very special things that not many people seem to have today: family love and appreciation for what we did have.  I wish these two things for all of you.  They made a difference in my life.  (I do, though, have a rather hefty-size stocking over the fireplace right now!)     halalpiar 

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See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 103 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.