OK, so now you’re

knee-deep in self-control

     So, what’s next?  Well, now that you have a firm grip on yourself and total control of all those latent late night and early morning temper tantrums, what’s next on the agenda? How about some practical how-to stuff for defusing OTHER people’s anger? Oh, joy!

     First off,  you’re not likely to get an angry associate, employee, friend or family member to instantly calm down just because you can now wave printouts of this blog site at her or his face and point out that the angry feelings are a CHOICE. Right. That’ll get you a subway fare to Madison Square Garden and a sharp stick in the eye.

     What then can I do, oh Anger Guru? What then can I do?  You can START by really paying close attention to the person who’s angry and by listening carefully to what’s being said. To begin, when we lose sight of the present moment and make a conscious or unconscious choice to feel angry about something or at someone, our brains take us rushing into a past who-did-what-to-whom accounting of past wrong-doings OR into an imagined scenario that hasn’t yet happened (and may never)!

     The goal then is to try to help the individual who is angry to come back to the reality of each passing moment as it passes,  to be focused on the here and now. BUT, unless you’re a shrink (and especially if the rampaging bull is wielding some instrument of destruction), it may be in your best interests to simply pretend you’re a rock. Assuming though that the anger is something less than maniacal in measurement, consider the following:

1)  Ask the other person if they would be good enough to please slow down the torrent of complaints long enough for you to be able to write them down on paper so that you can give serious thought to solving each problem (or addressing each issue) one at a time. [Then do proceed to write down each point as a separate item on a list]

2)  Ask the angry individual to help you prioritize each of the items listed so that you can number them as 1: First most important to take care of, 2: Second most important to take care of, 3: Third most important to take care of, etc., etc.

3)  Attack the items in order of the ranking by paraphrasing what was said about each (i.e., “Now let’s see, if I understand you correctly” or “Do I understand you correctly to mean that when Mary pulled John’s toupee off, he reached for it and she went to bite his hand but her dentures fell into the mixing vat and got processed into the pickle jars that were just loaded on the truck that left twenty minutes ago? Is that what you’re saying?”

Repeat and paraphrase until the angry person agrees 100% with your understanding of what the upset is all about, then complete that with a positive comment: “Good. I’m glad I understand this.”

4)  Ask for help in resolving the issue at hand, or at least provide some alternative action options for the angry person to consider.

     Be consistently and pleasantly adult-like and rational and logical and unemotional throughout.  This may be harder than it sounds, but if you’ve done steps 1-4 above, odds are you will already have effectively taken the wind out of the sails and restored some calm and order. As you proceed through the list, items will simply dissolve.     

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You Suck Eggs!

Yeah, well suck THIS: I QUIT!

You can’t quit; You’re Fired!

     You KNOW that the mainstream media lie.  You know the economy isn’t getting better. You know because you see your sales performance. You know because you’ve had to make lousy cutback choices you hate.

     So you’re irritable.  Your fuse is getting shorter. You’re ready to jump down the nearest throat. And the last thing you want to hear is for somebody to tell you to chill! 

     Okay, sometimes it’s hard  to realize that your angry upset feelings are a choice. And sometimes you just want to steamroller over it anyway. You’ve just read 10 sentences of negative thinking.

     Here:  http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/4-steps-in-one-minute-zero-stress/  Try this one-minute diversion for something positive. Go ahead. I’ll wait for you. You’ll be glad you did. Click on it for a 60-second visit, then come back!

     You did it or you “copped out”?  You know what? Where your business, your family, your friendships –and frankly anyone you encounter– comes into play, you really can’t afford to not take advantage of every opportunity to get yourself into, and consistently demonstrate a positive frame of mind.

     Angry feelings ARE a choice.  Deep breathing DOES serve to reduce stress and de-fuse anger. The point is that unless you are monitoring yourself (especially if you’re the boss). no one else is going to do it for you!

     The old saying that it takes two to tango hovers in a holding pattern over ill intentions.  It’s ALWAYS the boss’s job to back off. Real leaders back off. There’s a time to charge forward but not when it involves stampeding over others you are responsible for leading. You are the one who must de-fuse situations… hard to do when your own is sizzling!

     There’s no challenge in accelerating anger.  There’s no intelligence in accelerating anger. There’s no taking back the words or tools used in accelerating anger. There’s no leadership in accelerating anger. There’s no integrity in accelerating anger. There’s only stupidity.

     Why?  Because –and I can promise you this– it will ALWAYS come back to haunt you, perhaps when you least expect it and when it can do you the most personal and / or business harm, but rest assured it WILL come back to haunt you.

     All that having been said,  it’s hard to imagine anyone dumb enough to do it anyway, right? Wrong! Wrong because anger is probably at least half the time an UNconscious choice, capable of rearing its ugly head in the most innocent of circumstances.

     The ounce of prevention  then has to do with making sure you literally surround yourself with positive thinking, positive people, positive statements as much of the time as possible, keep a “here and now” focus as much of the time as possible … and remember to breathe!

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STOP HIRING CONSULTANTS

(for the wrong reasons!)

Dear Business Owners and Managers: Stop with the knee-jerk decisions to hire consultants. They will not help you through the economy unless they are specialists at bringing sales in your door!

Until at least a couple of years down the road,  there is no need for “communication consultants” or “management trainers” or “personal growth and development consultants” or people to write your mission statement, your vision statement, your annual reports or your “white papers.”

How do I know? Because I’ve done all of the above (and made a successful career of it), but I also have run my own business for 35 years, and helped to start hundreds of others. I’ve run management and communication and personal growth and development training programs for 20,000 people. And I’ll be the first to tell you not to waste your time and money on these services, in this economy.

There is only one thing you need consultant support for these days, and that is for services that bring you sales. Period.

That having also been said,  I will be so bold as to suggest that communications and marketing generalists are also not the kinds of “sales consultants” to trust. Find a specialist. Do not EVER hire a marketing or communications consulting firm to do your website. Get a website specialist. Do not EVER hire a website specialist to write your website content. Get a writer who understands sales.

A good, proven commercial / marketing / advertising / website writer can do more for your business than all the ad agencies, marketing and communication consultants and non-sales trainers you can find put together! You need writing help? Hire a writer!

There is a growing temptation to panic at the financial strangulation your cutbacks have created, and grasp at any outside service that –like the frustrated wife whose husband  was a marketing executive and could only ever sit on the edge of the bed and talk about how great it would be– you simply cannot afford right now.

Promises do not perform. Providers with track-records for creating and delivering sales perform, and are worth paying! Look for a successful writer who is a quick study and who shows you she or he can learn your business promptly, who has a customer benefit focus instead of a chest-beating, “how great your business is” and product / service features focus.

You want someone who can help you develop sales strategies and and create the tactics that support that thinking. You want someone who is not afraid to work weekends or evenings to get the job done.

You want someone who will take the extra step, go the extra mile, and give you more than what you expect … someone who is both a talented writer and an example of what you want and expect from a sales pro.

Anyone who fits this profile,  by the way, should also be receptive to at least partial compensation based on performance. I know a lot of consultants will hate me for this post, but –down deep– they’ll have to admit that I speak the truth.

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When You Can’t Get +

Don’t Settle For –

     We are all humans  (I believe; at least my blog diagnostics don’t show quality visits here from Animal Planet — or any other planet, for that matter!) and because we are (human), it is part of our pattern of emotional instincts that when we cannot get positive recognition, we settle for ANY kind of recognition, and will sometimes resort to seeking NEGATIVE recognition when nothing else is forthcoming.

     Negative recognition  is, after all, better than no recognition at all, right? Wrong! Unless of course you happen to be 3 years-old … or a manic-depressant … or a masochist … or a hermit … or a piece of broccoli! 

     Aha!  But many of us ACT 3 years-old when we are not getting pats on the back (or fanny, if you’re on a sports team; or on your knee or the back of your hand if you’re a patient … why do doctors always pat reassurance into your knee or back of your hand?) This is true for sure.

     The point is  that seeking negative recognition is a mentally unbalanced and emotionally unhealthy behavior. Consider if you will that those who make a practice of this, are those who frequently prompt wars, fights, arguments, teenage “groundings” (remember those?), military court-marshals, disciplinary actions, prejudice, divorce, abandonment, murder, jail terms, HIGH risk!

     When we can’t get positive recognition  for something we’ve done or said or thought, we have a tendency to turn in the direction of seeking some alternative (vs. just letting it go, because letting go is life’s most difficult task!) In other words, we drag ourselves down to the point where getting verbally bashed actually serves as a payoff!

     Yeah, right;  poor me; I really did screw up; I deserve all the criticism; beat me! (HA!HA! At least I finally got myself noticed!) Hey, folks: this is a sick mental/emotional state that calls for professional guidance. We all take it on the chin sometimes, but when someone is out seeking to take it on the chin, there’s a problem there.

     If that someone is you, get help! If it’s someone who works for you, get that person help. Having to evidence negative behavior to get noticed (ala temper tantrums) can end up costing your your business, lickity-split! It only takes one knife-blade, one bullet, one match!

     Remember all behavior is a choice.

     Some people get stuck not realizing or practicing that. Sometimes a professional is the best one to get that behavior UNstuck. 

     Oh, one other thought,  be more conscious of how important positive recognition is to 99.99% of all employees (and children) and make a practice of dishing it out a whole lot more than you probably think is needed or appropriate. It’s hard to offer too much

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What’s Killing Your Business?

So much positive feedback on  “What’s Your T-Shirt Say?” posted the other night:  http://halalpiar.com/2009/10/boost-your-business-in-3-minutes/ that I thought another evaluative exercise might be in order.

     Don’t scream, “Hi-YaaaAHHHH!”  in mock sarcasm and kick in your monitor screen when you read the next sentence that describes your homework assignment.

     If you’d like to boost your day-to-day and long-range business sales and operations  with 20 minutes of concentrated effort (and no consultant fees!), take a deep breath  http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/4-steps-in-one-minute-zero-stress/ and write your business’s obituary. Whaaat? Yup! Read the first 16 words of this paragraph again!

     No, it’s not easy.  Yes, it’s worth it! The exercise will be enlightening to say the least. The insights you gain may provide a guiding light to the revitalization of your business. Plenty of participants in my various entrepreneurship seminars have found this experience invaluable.

     Take any approach you like.  Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, and punctuation. At this point no one else in the world will see what you write anyway. The only requirement is to be honest with yourself.

     Some suggested questions to answer:  Itemize the highlights of the life of your business …

• When it was born?
• Who were the parents? 
• Where? 
• What was the startup business type and goal? 
• Why? (i.e., what prompted entering a particular industry or profession and what was the  intended result?) 
• How (what process used) did it get started? 
• How did it get to where it’s been in this last year of it’s life?

     What was the cause of death? 

• Any survivors? (Parents? Brothers? Sisters? Children? Grandchildren? Quotes/Testimonials from any of these people?)
• Service arrangements? (Will there be a viewing? Will services be private? Should there be an “instead of flowers” request?)      

     Spend as much or as little time as you like  (20 minutes usually works). Your goal is to present as complete a picture as possible of the life of your business if it were to end today, and to focus on achievements and contributions made.

     In your final analysis, after you’ve finished your write-up,  step back and ask yourself if the cause of death is your true exit strategy. Should there be more accommodation for having more children and grandchildren? Are the highlights the ones you most desire?

•  
  • Would you change the highlights if you could? 
  • What would you do differently if you could prevent the business from dying today? (Life saving surgery, if you will)
  • What would you do to ensure the business a longer life starting right this minute if you had the ability to step in now and spare it from death?
  • PSSSSST! What are you waiting for? 

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Call it whatever you want…

     Call it an incubator,  a co-op, a strategic alliance, shared platforms, networking, whatever you want . . . the bottom line is that the long-term business success effects of this sucky economy and dollar devaluation are going to be measured in terms of how much you can be both a leader AND a team player!

     The US Army teaches  that — among other things — to be a great leader requires also being a great teammate and follower. You can lead your business straight over the cliff by ignoring all other businesses around you and “going for broke,” if you choose a path of arrogance.

     The major difference  between arrogance and self-sufficiency and independence is that the first of these is an attitude. Combining forces with other businesses doesn’t render you helpless. If it does, you’ve selected the wrong business to work with, or you have an attitude problem.

     Combining forces with other businesses  should put your business — and the others — in a position of strength. It means that one business picks up where the other leaves off to the mutual benefit of all involved. Money can be involved, but it doesn’t always have to be. Ego is almost always involved; don’t let it be. Self-importance loses wars, and crushes business ventures!

     A Two-Way WIN-WIN:  I work with a bright young business that specializes in Internet marketing (website design and services, email and SEO programs, etc.). We combined website development interests because that firm’s strengths were tech-driven and mine were content-driven. We share responsibilities on work generated and produce a better, more complete product by focusing on what we do best.

     A Three-Way WIN-WIN-WIN:  A local liquor store and area deli have combined forces at a local fire department to raise money for an area charity by paying the fire department space rental and soliciting donations for admission to a “Giant Wine & Cheese Tasting Festival” that includes vendor donations of wine and cheese from a couple of dozen manufacturers and distributors who supply the two stores. Actually, if you think about it, this is like a 30-Way WIN situation.

     Can your business share  a workspace? A receptionist? A display area? A parking lot? A truck or delivery service? A database? Utilities? Cleaning services? Expertise? Research? Resources? Sales teams? Payroll services? Meeting rooms? Advertising media expenses? THINK about it!

     The next chapter in American business  will revolve around ways to economize even more than you are right now. The challenge will be to make the most of every resource, including those of neighboring or allied businesses. OPEN MINDS OPEN DOORS.   

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EX-employees can

be your best sales source!

     Remember that young dude  you liked who used to work for you? He was the guy who moved too fast for others in the department, and never seemed challenged enough, but there were no quicker-paced jobs open at the time, and he left for parts unknown? Well, he’s back in town and working for one of your major suppliers!

     How about Old Man Muckitymuck  who retired after 20 years with your company? Did you know he’s now on the board of directors of one of your biggest customers?

     And so it goes.  If you didn’t fire ’em, and they were people who left on good terms and simply moved on or retired, they represent a potential gold mine of accelerated sales, new revenue streams, and quality employee referrals, among other possibilities.

     Even someone who’s retired and living in some active adult community,  playing bocce by day, and poker by night, has formed new friend networks that can easily include the father of a major customer or the brother of a key prospect you’re trying to sell… maybe enough to tip the scale in your favor. Y’never know!

     But you never really WILL know  until you start digging and updating and taking inventory of who is where now, and how each may have an opportunity to help your current business needs. 

     Remember that these are all people  who have a working knowledge of your business and industry. They already understand your unique selling proposition, and — hopefully — have a positive attitude toward you and your business and the work experience they had with you. 

     That fact alone makes this group the ideal salesforce. Make them a captive audience and you never know where it can lead you. It is proven. It is being done by major business leaders in companies like DOW, and Microsoft, and Coca-Cola, and Deloitte. It is just as easily done by you. And it’s FREE!

     What’s required is simple. You get these folks together a couple of times a year — perhaps in a special “off-campus” social setting where you treat them to drinks and dinner, and perhaps some overnight accommodations and special events, including an update of what’s new since they were involved… and where you see things headed… and ask for their help.

     Add to that,  an email newsletter and a password-protected page or two on your website that allows for chatroom experiences and a bulletin board for classified ad postings.  

If you’re interested in a FREE “Benefits to Your Business” summary and FREE 10-Step Plan for initiating an Alumni Relations Program in your company, just shoot an email to me Hal@Businessworks.US with “10 STEPS” in the subject line and remember to include your name, business name and a phone number where I can call you with one free (no-strings attached) update to the attachments. Email and phone number privacy are guaranteed! 

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Input always welcome Hal@TheWriterWorks.com “Blog” in subject line or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Hal

Still Think You’re A Leader?

     Last night  we stepped back from the daily realities of running a business to examine some of the attributes of leadership and facing the reality that being “The Boss” and being “A Leader” may not always be one in the same. WOW! If, in fact, you got that far with the thinking, congratulations!

     Reality is  that we all accept leadership as a special quality. Most everyone would probably agree that a leader needs to have vision, knowledge, courage, integrity, discipline, judgment, and all the hackneyed, overblown qualities that earmark presidents and prime ministers and generals and admirals and corporate CEOs (well, okay, some corporate CEOs).

     But how often  do we hear

        about the need for “Tact” and  

         “Knowledge of psychology”? 

     A leader who possesses “force,”  who has tenacity of purpose, an inner “self-starter” drive, a personal magnetism, is rarely considered a person of “tact,” yet “rudeness” is not the definitive issue here; tact is what cushions the force of leadership upon reluctant minds… tact toward both seniors and juniors!

     The true leader  must have an insight into human nature. He or she must be a practical psychologist and must know and understand others. She or he cannot influence people without a deep understanding of what makes others “tick” and what motivates them, and how.

     We have addressed this  a number of times here, that the only way to truly understand and appreciate what makes other behave as they do is to first understand what makes ourselves behave the ways that we do.

Learning what makes you tick  will open the floodgates to figuring out others, and it is that which holds the magic key to superior leadership skills and practices.

     So where did all these words of wisdom come from? Yes, I have taught semester-long courses and untold training programs on the subject, but guess where tonight’s and last night’s LEADERSHIP material originated?

     If you said  the U.S. Army during World War II, you would be correct! There’s nothing new here. It’s all about being motivated and dedicated to assuming the responsibility for leading others, and it doesn’t matter if it’s 1941 or 2009.

The fact remains that ongoing self-discovery births and facilitates the best of corporate, organizational, political, and military leadership in every instance. Are you really doing all you can to lead your organization (even if it’s just a staff of one!) to successful performances?      

# # # 

OK, Boss, but are you a leader?

     A leader  has been defined as one who must first have a cause to lead, then possess an inner urge — the spirit of a crusader — in furthering that cause.

     Next,  it has been said that the leader must have a determination and even a ruthlessness in carrying that cause to success in the face of every obstacle.

     Finally,  a leader has been noted as someone who must be able to engender in those being led a willing and even eager cooperation in that cause.

Since the distinctions are not always clear, and since most of us reading this own or run a business, it may be worth taking two minutes out of our lives to assess some of the 8 basic differences between what we may know of someone who is a leader, and someone who “the boss.”

• The boss drives employees. The leader coaches employees.
• The boss relies on authority. The leader relies on good will.
• The boss says “I” a lot. The leader says “We” a lot.
• The boss says “Get there on time.” The leader gets there ahead of time.
• The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown. The leader fixes the breakdown.
• The boss knows how it is done. The leader shows how it is done.
• The boss makes work a drudgery. The leader makes work a game.
• The boss says “Go!” The leader says “Let’s go!”

I recently read of 16 key qualities that “have often been identified as indicators of strong leaders. These include: Vision, Knowledge, Force, Courage, Decision, Tact, Judgment, Knowledge of Psychology, Loyalty, Interest in Subordinates, Justice, Personal Dignity, Selflessness, Personal Integrity, and Discipline.” (and tomorrow night, we will explore some of the more curious points on this list!) 

It’s also been suggested to me that these 16 may be but “just a few of the many qualities desirable in a leader” . . . in fact, I have seen one study which identifies 83 (!) leadership qualities . . . and that “the line of differentiation between those qualities which go to make up a leader and those qualities which go to make up character is thin.”

It’s perhaps worthy of mentioning here as well that those qualities which go to make up character are EXACTLY what the character of your business AND YOUR BUSINESS BRANDING are all about! (and tomorrow night, we will likely experience some element of surprise at the source for much of what’s included in tonight’s post! Tune in Sunday night around 9:45pm ET!)      

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Stuff always gets worse

before it gets worse.

December, 2008: Gutless, Incompetent, Greedy: The US Postal Service http://halalpiar.com/2008/12/no-more-room-for-snail-mail/\

March. 2009: Having grown up a mailman’s son, maybe I’m just sentimental (or simply as stupid as the PO?) http://halalpiar.com/2009/03/23-lifelines-tossed-to-the-post-office/

August, 2009: Not just tech triumphs, the PO is a self-fulfilling sinking http://halalpiar.com/?s=postal+service

     …and yes,  there were other blog posts beating on the PO, and hoping for some light to penetrate the organization’s self-imposed deathwatch. But no, it mustn’t be in the cards. The US Postal Service does nothing to help itself, choosing instead to just keep digging a deeper grave!

The most recent proof  of ignorance came in the form of a 32-page atrocity of an ignorant, out-of-step excuse for a magazine delivered, it appears, to PO Boxes nationwide.  Campbell-Ewald Publishing should be ashamed of itself for putting out such politically-motivated trash in the name of the dying Postal Service, instead of taking a constructive stand on behalf of Postal Service customers!

  It’s just more evidence  of the sea of federal government incompetency that dictates to and surrounds the United States Postal Service … surely an organization (and I use the term loosely) destined for the next federal bailout after, let’s see, is it newspapers that are now being considered?

Please, spare us the insult!  Why on Earth cannot SOMEone with some business savvy step forward and get Congressional blessing to take control of this rapidly fading and no longer relevant entity that has simply lost touch with reality.

Businesses are failing  left and right. Families are struggling to make a living. The federal government sends $529 million tax dollars (reported today!) to Fantasyman Al Gore’s new automobile company so he can manufacture and sell cars in Finland! If this isn’t astonishing all by ityself, you must be living on Mars!

So along comes the Postal Service  with yet another elaborate, expensive promotional piece with thinly disguised heavy support for badly misguided Administration environmental policies. Why am I reminded of the story about being preoccupied with rearranging deck chairs while the cruise ship is sinking?

How many families  can you think of right now that are worried about environmental problems? It’s a little hard to focus on the spotted owl and Mr. Gore’s make-believe global warming issues when there’s a need to put food on the table and pay the mortgage… or pay for the gas to drive the car to go to the post office to pick up the mail!

Wouldn’t you think  the Postal Service would be standing on its head to compete in the marketplace and make the most of its resources to exercise some leadership geared to helping businesses get back on their feet instead of throwing bad money after bad money producing pricey lackluster materials that no one cares about?

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