No, you don’t need to move

  your business    

to the Caribbean!

(aaaah, but it might be nice to try for awhile, eh?)

Here’s a 6-Point Approach to creating a more positive climate for your business that comes partly from The Management Analysis Center and partly from my firsthand experience. it works:

1.  BUILD KNOWLEDGE. Know the capabilities of your staff as well as their weaknesses. With the understanding that Heraclitus the Greek philosopher said over 2500 years ago that “the only thing that’s permanent is change,” and that Thoreau once said “all we ever have is limited knowledge,” use what you know to determine (or update) the fundamental goals of your business.

GOAL CRITERIA REMINDER: A goal must have all four of the following criteria, or it is merely a “wishlist,” and not a goal. It must be 1) Realistic, 2) Specific, 3) Flexible, and 4) Have a deadline or due date.

2.  DEVELOP A SHARED VISION OF YOUR BUSINESS GOALS. Let employees participate in the process. Tell them the problems. Listen to their ideas. Take notes. Encourage others to take notes.

3.  DETERMINE WHAT SPECIFIC CHANGES SHOULD BE MADE. Should changes be made in job descriptions or physical layout to improve working conditions?

4.  SET THE EXAMPLE. As an owner/operator or manager, you are a role model whether you like it or not. People pay attention to everything you say and do. You will not be fostering teamwork if you rule by threats and intimidation. Praise in public; criticize in private. Act, talk, and think consistent with the goals you establish.

5.  REASSESS YOUR OWN FUNCTION to make it consistent with the changes you are making. If, for example, you want to establish better communications, you may need to establish a more open door policy, listen more, and listen more attentively! To get more good work from people, seek out and reward the things people do right, and try to overlook those they do wrong. (Remember that small, frequent, one-time-expense rewards motivate best and cost less than permanent ongoing pay raises with accompanying tax and benefit increases)

6.  DEVELOP NEW METHODS AND SYSTEMS for enhancing a more positive climate, such as instituting weekly status review meetings (with set time periods, a clear agenda circulated ahead of time and follow-up report focused only on decisions made and who will do what by when) to evaluate progress, or a reward system for improved performance.

In an optimum positive climate, people know exactly what it is that is expected of them and where they fit in. Everyone shares the same goals. They know how they can be effective and what kinds of behavior will be rewarded.    halalpiar

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Are you talking up

your business enough? 

     Do you carry business cards with you everywhere you go?  Two of the most successful businesspeople I know carry laminated business cards in bathing suit pockets and workout gear bags for the one time in a million it’s worth having them.  One, an active sportsman, keeps a couple inside his baseball cap. 

     Do you include mention of your website and blog as part of the signature area of every email you send?  Do you HAVE a website and blog?  I just read that 44% of new businesses do not have a website!  That statistic is beyond comprehension in this day and age.  If you’re in that 44%, stop making excuses; do it!

     Okay, sorry, so you DO have a website.  Do you have a BLOG?  Did you know that most blogs are FREE and many are packaged into websites and only require activation?  Do you have a professional blog writer so that you are not wasting valuable sales time trying to do something you’re not trained to do? 

     In most situations, a blog writer’s time is the only blog expense, and it’s an investment in the bottom line performance of your website!  (If you have questions about this, call me: 302.933.0116)  

     Did you know that blogs are the primary movers and shakers of website rankings?  (Because search engine spiders are out there 24/7 bumping the most active websites up in the search engine rankings, and it’s blogs that generally account for the most frequent activity.) 

     Have you sat down with brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends, and told them about your business?  Have you brought them up to date lately?  Have you given them your cards to pass along to their associates and friends and neighbors? 

     Are you –as Thoreau once urged– “Forever on the alert”?  Do you make the most of social occasions to quietly suggest business contacts in the following week?  Do you think and act sales all of the time instead of part of the time or just 9-5? 

     If you dismiss these questions with excuses that you are above it all or you are not a salesperson or you think it’s not appropriate (because you run a “professional practice,” perhaps?), then you are missing the reality boat and you stand a good chance of this economy smothering you!   halalpiar   

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HOW  THEY DO IT . . .

“Necessity is

the mother of invention.” 

—PLATO (Between 427BC and 347BC)

This quote drives every entrepreneur, scientific explorer and creative mind on Earth.  It of course holds true as well for military and quasi-military operations, cornered criminals and animals, and most homeless and foodless victims in society.

TODAY, the notion of necessity prompting inventiveness has great significance as a universal entrepreneurial hedge against economic downturn.  Businesses that will survive the existing economic traumas are those that can throw off the cloak of dismay and depression, shake themselves off, and charge forward with positive attitudes that are hell-bent on making the most of every opportunity.

WORKING TOGETHER with other businesses is a major step in that direction.  Networking with others to Barter goods and services should be a first and foremost thought for guiding daily travels. 

SHARING REFERRALS, common space, facilities, equipment, vehicles, furnishings, personnel, training, purchases and purchase discounts, databases, charity leadership roles, advertising, promotion, news release and blog site development and writing, website and online network development and content, are just some of the areas to consider negotiating.

LOOK TO BUSINESSES that are compatible and supportive to yours, or that your business serves.  Check out possible cooperative arrangements with businesses on the same floor, or in the same building, ir same cluster of buildings, or same neighborhood or town, or in the same industry, or that share some common characteristics (online retail as one example, or professional services as another).

TAKE ADVANTAGE of the opportunities to make and save money by working together.  Even competitive businesses can sometimes do this more effectively than standing defiantly alone.  Consider geographical clusterings of antique stores, for instance. 

CONSIDER New York City’s diamond and fashion districts!  Their competition alone in shared physical space/areas serves to boost business for all by bringing customers to centralized, more convenient and more price and quality sensitive shopping areas. 

CAN YOU EXCHANGE SALES LEADS?  Have you considered combining insurance coverage and benefit plans with another business?  Can the neighboring business receptionist do phone or clerical work for you during slow periods (instead of reading paperbacks?)?  Can you combine advertising time and space purchases to qualify for bigger discounts?  Maintenance services?  Supplies?  Conference rooms?

THE SHARED RESOURCES popularized by the old new business “Incubator” and “Conglomerate” concepts still work.  The only problem in realizing true economies of scale and values of barter may be YOU.  If you start with the attitude that it won’t work, it won’t. 

IF YOU START out discounting the ideas, they’ll never be more than ideas.  If you initiate discussions with others, you might surprise yourself with new-found sales and savings that could help you rise above the economic rubble. 

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Hal@Businessworks.US     302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

“Let’s see, why don’t we sell

our cars by showing guys

crash their motorcycles?” 

Let’s show the guy that makes a wisecrack in a business meeting get thrown from the high rise office building meeting site.  Let’s show a man getting a bowling ball dropped on his head.  Let’s show people shooting at each other.  Let’s show blood spattering. 

Oh, and, by the way, let’s not worry about the whole violence deal; we’ll just smoke-and-mirrors it all so nobody cares, and it all serves to mask the negativity . . . like the guy who’s blasted through the conference room window out of the meeting will have his fall broken by landing in gently forgiving shrubs, and then he’ll get up a little stunned and tell the camera he was just kidding about his meeting comment.  No body will notice the violent edge because they’ll be so busy laughing. 

ARE YOU KIDDING US,

PEOPLE?

     I’m no peacenik or tree hugger or love-is-the-answer nutcase.  I’m even a “24” fan.  But I am a human being, like most human beings, who respects human life and doesn’t see anything funny or entertaining about violent representations used in TV commercials to sell products and services in primetime hours when children are watching!

     I find this particularly distressing and tasteless when program scheduling is aimed at a viewing audience that targets children . . . in the media and professional sports’ feeble attempts to build fan base, they have crossed the line. 

     This Superbowl run of commercials, with a very small handful of tasteful exceptions (and you know which companies these were) was hands down the absolute WORST collection of moronic TV advertising spots ever shown in sponsorship of one single event in the history of the world! 

     What on Earth makes the primadonna creative directors at America’s top advertising agencies think for ONE SECOND that the idiotic commercial storyline he or she was sold by some space cadet art director and dope-smoking writer could possibly be appropriate or salesworthy to push down the clients’ collective throats and written off as being in good judgement?

     [In case you’re wondering about the strength of my convictions, incidentally, I spent a dozen years working at three of the world’s most famous ad agencies, and won a national award at it.  I know whereof I speak!]

     How could ANY one think that the crap presented to Superbowl audiences (especially children) had the remotest chance of reflecting positively on the clients’ businesses?  Tell me.  I really want to hear this answer.  I want to know how dumb you can get?  It’s unbelieveable is what it is. 

     It is pitiful that any company in its right mind (whatever that might be) could even imagine that the impressions made on the viewing public would possibly translate to increased sustained sales.  Positively won’t happen.  But then hey, how hard do you sell your braindead ideas to clients when they’re putting up $3,000,000 for a 30-second commercial and your company is earning roughly half a million dollars for that one 30-second commercial?  Huh?

     Madison Avenue disgraced itself for stooping so low as to buy into the pretend violent mindset of low-life TV wrestling, and pawn it off as a client’s humorous attempt at reaching out to the tough-guy football fan crowd. 

     Got some news for you marketing research and focus group geeks: the football fan crowd you think you scored big with is not a collection of stereotype tough guys.  And I hope you sleazy characters who sold these commercials from the media to the agencies to the clients are all out of work soon! 

     That whole crowd of know-nothing advertising executives who haven’t a clue about what really sells, and don’t care anyway is almost as bad as those behind the warped decision to allow has-been Springsteen on the halftime stage.  They probably thought he was great while the rest of us all ran to throw up when he couldn’t sing on key or even hold his breath long enough to carry the notes he once made famous. 

     There was a reason of course that “The Boss” only performed old biggies that everybody knew . . . a great cover for fading skills!  He had no right to be there.  I feel sorry for his fans that he made such a fool of himself. 

     But I guess it’s all about money, right?  Right.  But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck!    halalpiar

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ARE YOU BOARD-BORED?

     The most infamous collection of meeting-makers on Earth has to be “Boards.”  Consider how Board-Bored we must be.  We have Boards of Directors, Boards of Trustees, Boards of Advisors, School Boards, Medical Boards, Law Boards, Admissions Boards, Homeowner and Condo Boards,  Probation Boards, Boards of Overseers, Surf Boards, Snow Boards, Water Boarding (whoops! sorry) Editorial Boards, Boards of . . .  

     What’s the point?  If you’re Board-Bored, you are most certainly sick of meetings, right?  Right!  So, what can be done to make meetings better?  Here, following, for your Board-Bored pleasure: 

7 Steps To Making Meetings Work ©

Copyright 2009, Hal Alpiar 

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER ONE”: Use an agenda!  Circulate a draft of it a week in advance of a monthly meeting, a couple of days ahead of a weekly meeting, and 17 seconds before a daily meeting (If you’re meeting daily and you’re not in the White House, the Pentagon, or a police department, 17 seconds is enough time to pour some coffee and decide to find another job!) 

Ask for agenda input in time to add it and —before the meeting– post a clearly visible newsprint or whiteboard (YOW! another Board!) version of the agenda you can refer to, and check off as you go.  People will know where they are and where they’re going, minus the anxiety of potential surprises.

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER TWO”: Do NOT invite people to any meeting who are not actively involved in the decision making for the agenda points.  Meetings are not for training or parading egos.  If meetings do not end up producing results, stop having them!  Deal with those who need to attend for certain topics first and let them leave when those discussions end.

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER THREE”: STICK TO THE AGENDA!  When issues are raised that are not directly related to the agenda, thank the source and ask that she/he include the point on the next agenda for the next meeting, or –if there’s time left after the agenda is completed– to raise it again then, but that “this meeting is for this agenda.”

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER FOUR”: Always ADHERE TO THE EXACT TIMES SET for start and finish.  No exceptions ever.  If you do this twice in a row, no one will ever be late again, and everyone will stay on schedule for the day.  Also: resist the temptation to load the table up with snacks and beverages! Contrary to popular belief, donuts do not make for better decisions!

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER FIVE”: Emergencies aside, meetings work best when they are consistently set and conducted.  This means holding sessions at regular times (I recommend Monday mornings for weekly status review meetings as being 100% more productive than mid-week  which is too workflow-disruptive, or Fridays, when everyone’s thinking about their weekends.

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER SIX”: Include compliments and small rewards (a toy car, a game or puzzle, a banana – preferably something appropriate to the deed) at the end of every meeting!  

HAL’S “MEETING STEP NUMBER SEVEN”: Follow up each meeting PROMPTLY with a simple bullet list report of decisions made and who specifically is responsible for the next step by what date.  

     If all else fails and meetings still drag on into the sunset, have the chairs removed from the room and hold stand-up meetings!  It works wonders for getting things done quickly. 

     Remember too that MBWA (Management By Walking Around) is still the best way to minimize or eliminate meetings, get decisions made and motivate the troops at the same time.  People LIKE seeing the boss outside the conference room and out from behind the desk. 

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302.933.0116 or Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

“My assistant’s love life? 

…more than I wanna know.” 

(And I’m actually afraid of her finding out about mine, so I keep a distance!) 

“And what’s so bad about that?  After all, I’m not running a social service organization here; this here’s a business.  There’s no room for touchy-feely, warm/fuzzy, cuddly-wuddly (“cuddly-wuddly”?) stuff — least of all between me and the people who work for me.  If we don’t keep a respectful distance, the work will never get done, and my granddaddy always said: “Don’t fish off company docks!”

WOW!  Some good arguments there, Mr. Hardass, and I’m sure that strategy has worked well for you because you’re still in business while others around you keep tumbling.  But, you know what?  Odds are for sure that you’re not getting the productivity levels you deserve out of those you employ.  Here’s why:

KEEPING THE BEST PEOPLE means treating them like they are the best, all the time, no exceptions, even when they screw up and you choose to feel angry about it. 

You might try, instead of anger, to choose (yes, anger is your choice!) the path of a constructive guide by:

1) Taking some deep breaths to calm down your neurological system, relax your muscles and stimulate more oxygen to your brain to become more alert.  You may have to quietly walk away or gently close your door to force yourself to concentrate on your breathing for a minute or two, then

2) Chalking it off to a learning experience for the employee (AND for your self for not having forewarned or kept on top of the issues involved) and taking some solice that the employee probably feels badly enough without being chastized.  Try instead asking for (in writing by the end of the day!) three ways to specifically prevent that kind of screw-up in the future, which puts a positive focus on problem prevention (vs. negative nonproductive scolding).

3) Remembering that Maslow’s Heirarchy still rules HR’s motivational universe of successful companies.  Small frequent rewards that specifically address the personal needs of each individual always motivate best, and can usually be more economical.  A recognition seeker will prefer a plaque to cash.  The parent of a crooked-toothed teenager will prefer one-time orthodontist bill payments over a permanent salary raise. 

The point here is that you will never be able to know what makes your people “tick” –and each marches to a different drummer– UNLESS you make more of an effort toward intimacy!  How will you ever know about the teenager’s teeth, for example, unless you’ve had some kind of informal small talk discussion with the parent over lunch or coffee?  Would you even know that person has a teenage child?

And it doesn’t stop with that.  We often change our wants and needs literally overnight.  A local TV interview, for instance, with the regognition-seeker may satisfy that need to the point where a plaque has no meaning. 

The teenager’s grandmother may have just come up with the cash for the braces, prompting the parent to be more interested in ressurecting pursuit of new tires for the family car.  (Again, a much cheaper and more appreciated one-time-expense reward for good work motivates more than a permanent ongoing salary raise!)  The trade-off to taking the time and trouble to know your employees better is that it will –in the end– cost you less and increase your business productivity levels.  

So, bedroom habits?  No.  Getting a fix and keeping tabs on each individual employee’s changing wants and needs?  Yes.  Listening carefully?  Yes.  Caring enough to provide the kinds of support –within reason of course– that those who work for you really need?  Yes.  Take the time; it pays!   

halalpiar

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SKIM, MEMORIZE, CHEW,

DIGEST, OR JUST DELETE ~~~ 

Here’s a short list of what I think were some of my best blog blurts for 2008.  If something strikes you and you want the whole story, just go to Archives in far right column and click on the month, scroll (and if the dates not showing, just click on next at bottom of the page)!

Anyway, here’s a compilation of hot headings . . . stuff that makes you think about where you are and where you’re going which, on the cusp of a brand new year, is probably a good thing for all of us.  A few more tomorrow.  But for now: 

1) Think and

2) Laugh and

3) Have a great (and safe!) New Year’s Eve!   halalpiar

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter — ’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”  Mark Twain  5/1/08

“The solution to any group or organization problem lies within the group or organization that has the problem…No one knows you better than you…Knowledge is strength”  5/2/08

“Write a billboard–7 words or less with a beginning, middle and end, and be persuasive–that encapsulates what you want to express before you express it in a letter, business plan, print or broadcast advertisement, sales pitch, speech, short story, editorial, script, sermon, novel, poem, email, chapter…”  5/6/08

“If everyone in your company knew how to deal effectively with customers, you wouldn’t need any customer service reps!”  5/18.08

“A sale is made or broken in the first 10 seconds, and there is no such thing as a second first impression.”  6/1/08

“OPEN MINDS OPEN DOORS!”  6/4/08

“If you think your head is worth $24.95, buy a $24.95 helmet!”  7/8/08

“Life is more like baseball than any other sport!”  7/11/08

“Do you have all your marbles but can’t find the playground?”  8/6/08

“You ARE your attitude!”  8/15/08

“Your every action, your every thought, is your CHOICE!”  8/19/08

“We do best what we most enjoy!”  9/7/08

“Besides that they suck, meetings waste time; hold your next meeting STANDING!” 9/16/08

“Hustle your muscle — SOME action beats no action!”  9/24/08

“People need to be rewarded and motivated at the level of what’s important to them at the time.”  10/5/08

“The sooner you accept the ugly fact that you have to be a salesperson, doctor, the healthier your practice will be!”  10/10/08

“You have a stableful of race horses that act like they came from wagon-train school?”  10/13/08

“I’m tellin’ you, ball, next pitch . . . you gotta be a strike!”  10/20/08

“Just go to the basement and make more money!”  10/24/08

“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”  Dr. Wayne Dyer 10/29/08

“Take two talkwalks, get a good sleep, and call me in the morning!”  11/8/08

“Where laughter fails to heal, it never fails to ease the pain.”  11/13/08

“Sleeping With The Boss?”  (Family Business Ups & Downs)  11/22/08

“What one thing could you be doing better?”  12/1/08

“I coont efen spel untreeprenewer, an’ now I are one!”  12/6/08

“EVERY purchase decision is emotionally-triggered!”  12/12/08

“Is what you’re doing right this very minute taking you to where you want to go?”  12/27/08 

… and thank you, worldclass #1 novelist Dean Koontz for being such an authentic, inspiring, and upstanding human being! 

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CRM=?

CRM=Customer Relationship Management, on the one hand, and CRM=Customer Retention Management, on the other.  Which is it?  Why does it matter?  Who cares?  Aren’t they both the same anyway?

Whoa!  First of all, there’s a remarkably big difference.  I heard a major sales muckity-muck from a humongous corporate entity–who really should know better–give a presentation today to one of my clients, and he tossed out the terms interchangeably before finally parking himself in the retention garage.

A careless miscue methinks.  Something about that ambivalence represented his whole attitude, which was essentially to laugh and smile his way through misleading and oh-one-more-thing half-truth price quotes that seemed to change with each clock tick closer to New Year’s.

Managing relationships with customers and attracting new ones by virtue of positive-oriented, proactive processes that involve some give and take, some sharing, the development of “high trust,” and mutual respect based on consistent demonstrations of integrity is where best-practice, leadership companies continue to move.

On the flip side, managing to retain or keep customers is a negative-oriented, knee-jerk reactive, desperation-based process that amounts to clinging-on-to-customer behaviors and seeking to appease at all costs . . . even giving away the store (or farm, or horse, or youngest son or whatever)because customer RETENTION programs are driven by insecurities and fears.

Ah, yes, well there is that little economic suffocation pit we’re thinking we need to be crawling out of.  Bull!  If you think that, you show that, and you won’t sell stilts to pygmies.  Get off your knees and out of the hole and stand up tall and sell value and sell your confident self!  Focus on the relationship!

And customers, by the way, get this.  It’s easy to spot people selling their wares from a position of perceived weakness, compared to those who register in the strong zone as they present themselves.

Think about it.  Would you rather have someone level with you and work to cultivate a relationship with you, or speak to you with crooked mouth and work to retain you?  There’s a much bigger difference in the RE words (RElationship and REtention) than most probably stop to think about.

The differences though account for the both the personality and the character of a given company.  Because the difference is a matter of attitude.

Attitude, we might want to remind ourselves is what accounts for the difference between success and failure, on the athletic field, on the stage, on the factory floor, in the farmland, the office cubicle, the great outdoors (to make sure we cover all you forest rangers, lumberjacks, truck drivers, lifeguards and ski patrol people out there), the boardroom, or the computer workstation.

It’s all about attitude.  All. 

What’s YOUR business ALL about?                  

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 931.854.0474    Hal@BusinessWorks.US

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!”  [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

STOP business deaths

and staff infections NOW!

     By now, all of us know, or have heard (or we believe instinctively) that the majority of hospital deaths, complications compounded or initiated by staph infections can be traced back to caregiver professionals and support staff not properly and frequently enough washing their hands. 

     Who woulda thunk it?  Such a simple thing.

     Well, not only is it true, but I believe it’s even truer (though never researched) in business.  It’s no secret that the majority of business failures, corrupted products and innefective misguided staffs and services come from poor management. 

     Management (even when it’s more task than people oriented) is all about interfacing, interacting, and encountering.  It’s about keeping a clear and receptive mindset.  Open doors open minds!   

     Now I’m not talking about hot water, soap, scrubbing and towel drying.  I’m talking about:

1. Closing your eyes for just 10 seconds (perhaps 5 if you’re telemarketing, and not at all if you’re driving!) before and after every customer/employee/vendor/investor encounter,
2. Taking a deep breath (to focus and maintain blood pressure) and
3. Mentally (imagining yourself) washing your hands, like a doctor between examinations. 

     For many who try or maintain this practice, it helps to go through a 2-3 second physical action of simply rubbing your hands together.  The action sends a reinforcing mental message to your brain.

     EVERY meeting, conference, phone call, email, letter, overnight delivery, and text message exchange, you are after all being a doctor, aren’t you? 

     You ARE examining, aren’t you? 

     You ARE listening, exploring, considering, assessing, recommending, deciding, weighing, evaluating, checking and re-checking, sizing up, assuring and reassuring, projecting, planning, strategizing, and predicting, aren’t you?

     And what happens to your brain when you’re on the fly and go straight from one encounter to another without –it sometimes seems– even breathing?  Go on, answer this last question.  I’ll wait.  Okay, and how does that stress translate to your body? 

     Headaches, backaches, toothaches, stiff neck, upset stomach, constipation, diarrhea, short temper, edginess, leg cramps, burning eyes, skin rash, urinary infection, or worse — cancer, heart problems?  Bottom line: is it worth it? 

     TRY THE 10-SECOND APPROACH for just one week –the first week of 2009 is a perfect test period.  Try it and see what happens. 

     Here’s what you’ll get:  IF you’re honest with yourself and IF you actually follow the presecription, you will be more tuned in to each person you communicate with; you will be noticeably more productive; you will GUARANTEED feel better – mentally, physically, and emotionally; you will more positively affect others around you. 

     Put reminder notes around you, or a sign over your desk, or stuck to your phone and computer screen.  Ask a co-worker, friend or associate to ask you: “Did you wash your hands?” before and after you turn a doorknob, before and after you lift and replace your phone, start or end your meeting . . . improvise here; just keep making the effort. 

     You will, I promise, astound yourself!     halalpiar

Okay, we’ve got one last Christmas-Business-Politics thing to say, and it’s best summed up by this high level laugh (and maybe cry too!) “C-SPAN Coverage” of Santa in Washington . . . definitely worth the check-it-out!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxBl9BXLom4

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Be kinder than necessary

because everyone

you meet is fighting

some kind of battle!

     I know, I know, I promised more today on listening skills.  Well the number one rule of listening for many people and many professions is to use empathy, and that’s what this heading is all about. 

     Empathy is mentally putting yourself in another person’s shoes.  It is a step up from sympathy, or feeling sorry for someone, because empathy implies active involvement.

Of course there’s more, a lot more, to active listening skills than being empathetic, but I relate strongly to the message of the heading, so I’m leaving it there while I take you down another listening skill path: paraphrasing!

“If I understand you correctly, you are saying that . . .” or “What I think I hear you saying is . . .” or “Do I understand you to mean . . .? are three excellent lead-ins to use when paraphrasing (putting your “take” on a statement into your own words) something someone else has just said.  Why would you do this?  To make SURE that you got the opinion or information or directions right!

This paraphrasing device, by the way, when it’s delivered in a persistently unemotional, understanding tone of voice, has great value in defusing moments of conflict.  It forces a person who’s just tossed out an emotional barrage of complaints to hear how their words have come across to someone else in a non-threatening and non-confrontative way.

  Paraphrasing serves to slow down the rush of upset, and often prompts the other person to reconsider or at least to better explain the issues.  It sets a stage for the upset person to talk more, and often to be more careful and reasoned.

   We’ve all heard that (especially in sales, customer service, counseling, consulting, and marriage ) we need to try to speak 20% of the time and listen 80% of the time.

This may be a challenging prescription, but speaking and listening are behaviors.  We choose our behaviors.  We also choose to be challenged or we can choose to be accepting.

Water flows best downhill.  Choose the easy route.  Just tell yourself to “Listen up!” [Taking notes ALWAYS helps, and flatters as well.  “Would you please speak a little slower (or repeat that) so I can jot it down; I want to make sure I get it right!” works wonders in terms of ensuring full understanding and in boosting the other person’s ego.]

On the flip side, ask someone who’s just unloaded a barrage of concerns to help you sort them out by writing them down, one at a time, and assigning a #1 for most important and #2 for next most important, etc. to each item — and then proceed to address (chew and digest) each issue separately and exclusively, beginning with #1.

Odds are pretty good you’ll never get past the first two or three items on the list before the complainant withdraws the remaining ones or backs off the initial sense of fury, or both.  Either way, you have nothing to lose by trying, except miscommunications and upsets.

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Hal@Businessworks.US or 931.854.0474

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

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