“LIFE IS GOOD!”

says the shirt.

What says you?

“Bah, humbug!”?

“You’ve been a

pain in the butt

ever since

you were born!”

     You own, operate or manage a family business. God Bless You. Now let’s get down to reality. Odds are that you, or at least someone you work with, harbors resentment. And those upset feelings are getting in the way of business growth, perhaps survival. When we collect negative feelings about someone else, resentment is usually the accompanist.

     Resentment often takes the form of a demand that the other person feel guilty. In the classic Addison-Wesley book Born To Win, authors James and Jongeward suggest, “When you become aware that your resentment is growing, handle each situation as it occurs and with whom it occurs rather than collecting and holding your feelings, and perhaps cashing them in for a big prize or on an ‘innocent’ person.”

     The world renown educator/counselor/co-authors recommend the following steps for dealing effectively with resentment:

• “Try to talk the problem over with whoever is bugging you.

• When you attempt this, avoid accusing the other.

• Tell the other person how the situation is affecting you. Use the pronoun ‘I’ instead of an accusative ‘you.’ [For example, ‘I don’t like smoke; it bothers me,’ instead of  ‘You’re really thoughtless the way you blow your smoke around.’]”

• Remembering that the solution to any group problem lies within the group, James and Jongeward go on to urge that in a family group, it is helpful to set up “resentment and appreciation sessions,” which they point out need to have specific rules. Here is how they define that process:

• “Each person in turn verbally states the resentments he holds against the others; (it is important that the others listen but do not defend themselves. The statements of resentment are to be let out but not reacted to.)

• After resentments have been stated, each person tells the others what he appreciates about them.”

     When first learning how to conduct this kind of session, do it daily. After it can be done with ease, stretch it to weekly.

     In some working situations, resentment and appreciation sessions can be useful, “particularly where people work together closely and personal irritations occur easily. If it is tried, all members should agree to a trial period — say two months.” At the end of this period, the usefulness of the procedure can be re-evaluated. If “participants decide to continue, they could decide on adaptations and establish regular session times, like meeting once every two or three weeks,” or whatever seems “practical.”

     It should go without saying that an outside professional facilitator or family business coach can play an important role in establishing and moderating this kind of program. The more structured and enforced the process, the more likely it is to eliminate or minimize nonproductive ill feelings and be able to help produce positive results.

     Is all of this easy? Probably not. Does it take time? Yes. Is the risk reasonable? If everyone involved is agreeable to pursue positive and productive solutions, yes. Should you try it on your own? Possibly, if you are not personally involved in the resentment exchanges, or directly related to those who are, and have a firm but compassionate leadership quality.  

# # #

Hal@BusinessWorks.US 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

“Show me an authentic boss

. . . I’ll show you a winning leader!”

Real. Actual. Genuine. Bona Fide. Not False or Imitation. “Honest-to-Goodness.” Being Exactly What is Claimed. Good Faith. Sincerity of Intention. Legitimate. “The Real Deal.”

How many of these qualities do you carry in your pocket and empty onto the table when you’re talking, meeting, and dealing with others? How often? How influenced are you by good or bad moods? By past experiences or self-doubts?

  Does it matter whether the “others” are customers, prospects, employees, associates, investors, or suppliers? Does it matter whether you’re on the phone, in person, texting or emailing?

   How much do incidents, environments, and issues beyond your control play a part?

What is it that you are most afraid of having others you work with, or sell to, learn about the real you? What’s in the back of your closet that you’re choosing to put in the front of your mind that’s holding you back from being the up-front person you’ve always wanted to be?

Have you made yourself be a victim of circumstances? Is this an identity you cling to?

This is not some ridiculous Hollywood exposé, or some empty suit government or political probe. This is about you, your business, your daily performance, and the way you “come across” to others.

  Here’s why it matters. When you own a business, the business is an extension of your ego. It is the career stage on which you have chosen to perform.

Depending on how true to character you allow yourself to be, and how persuasively you present yourself and ideas, your business will rise and fall with the curtain calls and appreciative audience applause.

If you elect to play a hard-nosed character, and you’re convincing in that role, you will attract hard-nosed critics and audiences who may not hang around until intermission . . . or who are harder-nosed than you!

  I’m not suggesting you or I or any of us has the ability to simply turn the authenticity faucet on and become Mother Teresa. But I am saying that we all have certain qualities of genuineness as human beings.

Exercising these strengths of character (in spite of closed closets) will serve to free up unnecessarily-guarded business behaviors and–in the process–open opportunities we may never have thought possible.

     It’s a choice that that I can encourage, but only you can make. I urge you to take the risk to rise above your own doubts and show more customers, employees, and suppliers more of what the real you is all about. Let them see that they can trust your judgement and earn your confidence.

You don’t have to “become one of the guys” to let others know that you possess compassion and humor alongside your insightful and visionary leadership. Hey, give it a try. You may even like your self better. Have fun!

# # #

Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals!

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Grab Your Hat

and Get Your Coat

  . . . Then Take

These 5 Steps!

     Think you’ve heard it all? You have. You’ve read the management books, trade magazines and professional journals. You’ve watched every TV special that’s related to your business. You’ve sat through endless repetitive lectures, webinars, seminars, workshops, blogcasts and stage presentations by big-name motivational speakers.

     You’ve checked hundreds of related websites and thousands of related online stories and emails. You’ve even listened to and interpreted the deep-down meanings of favorite songs and the advice of favorite uncles.

     You’ve listened to the warnings, scoldings, and tidbits of genius dished out over your lifetime by your mother, your father, your teachers, business and marriage partners, and even — in your weaker moments — politicians.

     You’ve heard it all!

     Now it’s time to do something productive with what you know, to put all that input to work. Make it make money for yourself and your family, steer it in the direction of building/strengthening  the reputation you want for yourself and your business, enlist your knowledge in directions that will help others to improve their self-worth. How?

1. By recognizing first and foremost that what you do or don’t do with what you know is your choice.
2. By priming your pump.  Take some deep breaths; get regular 3- times-a- week exercise; sleep and eat better. The more the merrier, but any and/or all of this will make you feel better and perform better.
3. By sorting out your ideas and the information that works best for you in your situation right now. [These are different for everyone] Prioritize them, then start on making Number One happen and keep at it to the exclusion of all the others; then, move on to Number Two, etc.. The most important first step is to take the first step. Some action is always better than no action.
4. By remembering Winston Churchill’s famous battle cry: “Never give up. Never, ever give up!” Be tenacious. Be persistent. Be persevering. Stick-to-it-tive-ness sells! And when you do what you do with grace and respect and confidence, you will engage others, not chase them away.
5. By recognizing that EVERY customer and prospect has an ego that’s as least as big as yours, but has not perhaps promoted it in the same ways. Back off your own self-indulgence and become a fan of the person/company/organization you seek to sell.

     Bottomline: You HAVE heard it all. You KNOW what to do and how to make it work for you. You know this in your heart and you know it better than anyone else could possibly know. You’ve just spent too much time questioning and delaying and doubting yourself. If the risks involved are reasonable ones, put your peddle to the metal. There’s no such thing as a second first chance.

Click Here to work with Hal!                                        

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! 

When you add

a splash of red

to a sea of blue,

people stop

noticing the blue…

     My wife Kathy (God Bless Her!) has been my business partner for 23 years. It takes an extraordinarily special relationship to survive and thrive in the same workspace AND the same homespace. 

     Oh, but don’t thinkI have a limited perspective on this. I’ve worked with every kind of FAMILY business imaginable … from restaurants, HVAC, farms, clothing, sewage, chiropractic services, heart surgery, landscaping, mattresses, trucking, dentistry, lumber, accounting, candy and travel, to manufacturing of computer and rocket-ship parts that fit under your fingernail. And that’s just my tip- of-the-iceberg list.

     Yeah, you might say, but just doing their brochures and websites doesn’t put you in the thick of things. How do you know what it’s really like? As a management consultant, trainer, coach, and counselor, believe me I’ve seen it all. I’ve managed succession planning, rookie coaching, crisis intervention, family foundations, partnership formations, partnership separations, and one fist fight.  

     The biggest problem with family business is family. Family relation-ships are a hotbed of emotions. Consider the statistics that claim every one comes from a dysfunctional family, which means there are an awful lot of weirdos out there. When the dysfunctional types become part of the family business, people see the business as dysfunctional. When you add a splash of red to a sea of blue, people stop noticing the blue.

Only a handful of really smart family business leaders have the good sense to realize a proven professional can help grow the business AND save the family.”

     When high emotions reign in a family business, you can be sure the business will not be a recommended long-term investment. Business ventures can be immensely emotional and supercharged, but keeping control of all that energy requires great leadership finesse, objectivity, and balance.

     Imagine a ship in a stormy sea, with an angry, blood-vessel-on-the-cusp-of-bursting, near-incoherent, screaming captain at the controls. You’d want to be figuring out the quickest route to the lifeboats. Some family businesses keep these stormy sea antics below deck, but they still take their toll.

You’d want to be figuring out the

quickest route to the lifeboats.”

     Here’s the good news: None of it is necessary. Here’s the bad news: Only a handful of family business leaders have the good sense to realize a proven professional can help grow the business AND save the family. The basic principles of anger management, stress management, time management, communication skills (especially effective listening), goal-setting, and leadership transparency are the ingredients of family business transformation and success. Someone who knows how and when to use these tools can help you get the red splash out of your sea of blue, and steady the controls.  

     The more generations involved, the greater the need. The more family members involved, the greater the need. The solution direction is simple. It takes a commitment to want to succeed, a willingness to share “dirty laundry” with an “outsider” (and a sense of partnership and perseverance with that outsider) to combine forces to make a difference.

     Family business growth and development is directly tied to the 4 R’s: Receptivity, Responsiveness, Responsibility and Respect. If those are present, an experienced coach can help them all work for the good of the business, and the good of the family.  

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! 

So, ARE you the Boss, or not?

(Part I of II)  

     Other than bad news from your accountant, there’s very little you can hear that’s worse than, “It’s not my job!”  Nor does it make any difference which of those four words is most emphasized (and of course the absolute worst place any boss can hear these words is when an employee says them to a customer!).

The example, though, serves to make a point:

You’re “The Boss” . . . What’s YOUR job?

     If you want to start making more money by tomorrow morning, you’re going to have to change a few things. If you’re going to change a few things, you have to be very clear and keenly aware of what exists right now — beforeyou charge in with your wheelbarrowful of shovels, dynamite sticks, battering ram, hammer and nails, concrete, and power tools.

     Probably the most important first step (which, by the way, takes at least 3-6 seconds!) is to accept the fact that the sooner you can get yourself to STOP thinking of yourself as a “business owner” or “operator” or “manager,” the quicker you’ll get to that money-making part. Why? Because . . .

Because  the minute you think of yourself as some title, like “the owner,” there are certain defined behaviors and privileges that go along with that title, and each of those is limiting.

They unconsciously require you to behave in certain ways.

They actually block you from exercising your true entrepreneurial pursuits, your innovative ideas, and your ability to move your business forward in high gear.

     To put aside your self-imposed limitations, you must first put aside your thoughts of being “the owner/operator/manager,” and start to think of yourself as more of the free spirit that started your business, or that started working with it from that very first day. Remember that? You were all cranked-up and uninhibited in your thinking?

     Forget about what happened since then and focus on where you are right this minute. And as for “down the road,” if you know where you want to end up, don’t waste time checking the finish line; stay with your heartbeat and pulse and breathing! 

     This “New You” also needs to throw off any and all “Get Rich Quick” schemes. Reality note:There is no such thing! Forget about all those slick email and Twitter and Facebook and YouTube come-ons and one-time-only deals that promise transformation of your life and business into an overnight kingdom for just four easy payments of $29.95.

     Instead, you might give some thought to what you could do for your your business yourSELF for the $119.80 [oh, right, “plus S&H” . . . or now it’s “P&H” . . . “P” for Processing. Apparently “Shipping” is now free and you pay only for “Processing.”  Hmmm, “Processing” PLUS “Handling”? Aren’t employees PAID to do “S” and “H” and “P”?  Is somebody double-dipping?]

     Okay, here it is. This is what you’ve been waiting for . . . 

          To get ready to make more money starting tomorrow morning: 

1) Start focusing on what you can do immediately to shed your mental cloak of limitations that revolve around BEING (insert your title), and instead take 3 bold, positive steps toward framing your business in some exciting new, more realistic, more authentic, more transparent directions.

2) Order more deposit slips. 

 Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US 

 Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

Make it a GREAT Day for someone!

Yes, by popular request,

we’re back on “dreams”

(Part 2 of 2)

     Yesterday, we explored the subject of how our estimated 2 hours of nightly dreams can be productive sources of personal and business growth, and that the first step toward making that work is to keep a “Dream Journal.”

     If you’re back for more of that subject, I hope to not disappoint you. If you were seeking a different topic, come back tomorrow, thanks for visiting, and happy dreams tonight! Today, I’d like to share some insights I’ve learned about how to interpret what you dream. Not to worry: I promise to not shrink you out, and tomorrow, we’ll be headed back to reality.

     Anyway, this input offering isn’t going to turn you into some mystical guru or stage personality, and there’s not nearly enough substance to start calling yourself a therapist, but here’s a little more chatter on the subject, and a few basic applications that just might open a door or window, or might send you off to some Googleland searches.

     First, be aware that interpreting dreams is, I think, like mining for gold. Sometimes the payoff can be spectacular. And like the lottery people say, you can’t win if you don’t play. (I am not a lottery advocate; it’s just that sometimes we can get good ideas from bad sources.) But, odds are you’ll find a gold nugget or two that can prove helpful to you which — in the end (or beginning or middle?) can also prove helpful to your business.

     I had the good fortune years ago to participate in a small group study program with Clara Stewart Flagg, one of the world’s foremost educator-authorities on dream interpretation. She represented the following thoughts, which continue to be relevant and repeated, still, by experts today: 

     Look for the double-barreled meaning of dream words, she said. “Being in a bar” may translate to “What’s barring me?” or “walking around the block” may have some bearing on “what’s blocking me?” Dream numbers can have peculiar applications; “1924,” for example, may suggest adding the individual digits to get “16”; what happened at age 16?

     Likewise, predominent colors can suggest characteristics (e.g., brown:tight; yellow:cautious/withholding; gold:possessive; red:emotional; light blue:cool; dark blue:authority, etc. Cars, said Flagg, “are an ongoing self energy symbol . . . faulty parts are faulty self-parts.”

     She equated visions of eating red meat with “good energy,” fish with good sexual energy, vegetables-with-seeds as fertility-related. Water, Flagg claimed to be “mother-oriented.” Dreams of dead people should spur answers to the question: “Why are you here?” or “Tell me something of value here!”  Stairs interpret to stages/levels in life; a sign to look around and see what’s there, what’s left behind, what’s yet to go.

     “You don’t have to be stuck with the dream you wake up to; it can be improved . . . you are in charge. No part of a dream need be useless; make it useful; it’s your mind and you are always in control . . . Wear your dreams in good health!” 

     Oh, and don’t be afraid to look for the business apps in dreams. You do, after all, control both. If you choose to make dreams work for you and your business, they probably will. Like any other life and business development tool, it depends on what you make of it.

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Blog via RSS feed or $1/mo Kindle. GRANDPARENT Gift? http://bit.ly/3nDlGF

“Dreams which have

not been interpreted 

are like letters from

the Self which have

not been opened”

— TALMUD

Here’s the thing, the most successful business people in the world all share some common traits and all share one common status of being self-actualized. This means that they have each learned some in-depth things about themselves and have used that information to figure out what makes them tick.

Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, Steven Jobs, Mary Kay, Henry Ford, Dale Carnegie (Add your own), have all been students of themselves in the processes of designing and developing their businesses.

Do you know what makes you tick?

One way to get a better fix on the answer to this question is to write notes to yourself the minute you wake up in the morning about any dreams or parts of dreams you can remember . . . a “dream journal” if you will. By forcing yourself to take up this practice and jot something down every morning, a few things will happen:

1. Odds are good that after a few days, you will begin to remember more and be able to record more. In this case, more is better.
2. Repetitive patterns or scenes or thoughts or images may begin to emerge that will help you interpret more and learn more about your SELF which can boost your business big-time.
3. The more you remember and write down, the more likely you will be to feel less stressed, and to be more productive both on and off the job.

Is this information to share with your white-shirt-and-tie corporate brother-in-law? Probably not. I wouldn’t in fact recommend sharing the idea with anyone until you start to see some results for yourself. Why does the idea seem too off-the-wall bizarre? Because it’s not in any business textbook and most of those who benefit by the practice don’t discuss it for fear of . . . well, you understand.

A primitive Malaysian hunting and gathering tribe called the Senoi (Bing or Google them if you’re interested in more detail) have a generations old practice of waking each morning and talking about their dreams from the night before with others in their tribe. They reportedly go from one tribal member to another until they feel satisfied with the interpretation of their dreams.

Wackos, right? Wrong. The tribe is free of stress, free of disease and free of mental illness.

Imagine if you could be enjoying that luxury right now. Is it mumbo-jumbo or dark magic? Not likely. Since almost all research ends up demonstrating that disease of all kinds has a psychosomatic base that inevitably evolves from stress, it shouldn’t be surprising news.

When a group of people (regardless of how primitive) devotes part of every day focusing on, exploring, and identifying stress sources, that group is going to experience less stress. Less stress means less disease and less mental illness.

Keeping a daily “dream journal” is one way to help yourself (which means you will also be helping your business) beginning immediately. And it’s FREE! (Oh, right, a blank book and a pen!)

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You!

Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

When it all looks like

it’s crumbling down

 around you–get selfish!

     Selfish . . . as in Piggy? No . . . as in oriented toward your SELF!

     You can’t control government except at election time. You can’t control irate customers who give you fits trying to nickle and dime you at every turn. You can’t control what goes on behind your back unless you never turn your back. You can’t control a lot of people and situations in your business and personal life. But you CAN control YOU! 

     What you say and think and do is entirely your choice, and entirely under your control. (If you doubt this and are ready to shoot back examples to the contrary, examine your examples. Odds are 100 out of 100 that you made a conscious or unconscious choice to set yourself up to not have a choice, but -ALWAYS – there is or was a choice. Take advantage of how you can use that information now, today!) 

HOW you respond to someone or something that’s out of your control is within your control.

     So stop choosing to think that everyone else is pushing your button. No one can reach inside your brain and control how you think.

     The great motivational theory and studies psychologist Abraham Maslow focused his attention on the path and process of self-actualization. In addition to using their own intellects and talents, Maslow said that self-actualizing people take responsibility for others as well as themselves and (according to James and Jongeward in their classic book, Born To Win), “have a childlike capacity for awareness and pleasure.”

     The authors proceed to note that “these individuals customarily have some mission in life, some task to fulfill, some problem outside themselves which enlists much of their energies … they work within a framework of values that are broad and not petty, universal and not local, and in terms of a century rather than a moment … have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy, however stale these experiences may have become to others.”

     If you’ve let outside influences under your skin, it may be time to appreciate more what you already have in life and to take stock in whether those around you are contributing to your growth and happiness, and to the growth and success of your business — or are they detracting from it?

     Exerting your own sense of self-actualization can influence others to change negative thoughts and behaviors and directions, but — more importantly — it will serve to boost your own rockets and reinforce that you’re not such a bad “gal” or “guy” after all.

     You have enormous powers to turn things around when you decide to consistently apply your strengths to what’s in your face or on your plate. Keep outside influences outside.

     Draw instead from your own inner strength and the inner strength of your business, and from those who live inside your inner circle. Making decisions and conducting yourself from inside yourself is a better, happier, healthier choice every time.  

# # #

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Hal@Businessworks.US or 302.933.0116

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson] 

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

YOU WILL NOT

GET PAID

for doing tasks

of avoidance,

nor will you get

the time back!

     The trouble is that ONLY you know what truly constitutes a task of avoidance, and ONLY you know when your time’s awastin’, which serves to underscore that being true to yourself is yet one more ONLY to think about– being true to yourself is the ONLY way to run a business and live life to the fullest.

     ONLY? Well, assuming you accept that there’s no suggestion intended here to be selfish in terms of dealing with others, and that one needs to be oriented toward strengthening oneself (i.e., one’s SELF), consider the alternatives for a minute and you’ll certainly agree.

     Even the world’s greatest givers — of love, of money, of opportunities, of freedom, of whatever counts — recognize and accept that they must somehow be able to give from a position of strength in order to be truly effective.

     If you are committed to a goal of giving money to the (fictitious) E-Charity Fund, and you donate at great personal sacrifice because table food is scarce and mortgage payments are behind, guess what? You’re not being blessedly generous; you’re being foolish.

     Once you’re able to catch up with your expenses and build a base of financial strength, you’ll be able to donate more, more often. Self-sacrifice is not a requirement for charitable giving. Sure, there are always those who will be in greater need than you, but if you fail to boost your own finances before giving money away, you may be setting yourself up to be joining the ranks those you seek to support. 

     Then what good will you be? 

     Do you need millions to justify donating thousands? No. But you need to not be teetering on the brink of bankruptcy or foreclosure before you saddle yourself with cash donations that could put you under. And that doesn’t mean that you are any less loving or caring or charitable a person.

     Back to rebates on wasted time: there are none.

     Granted that when the pressure’s on to get a report or presentation done, may not be the best time to go for a long walk or start plucking yellow leaves off of plants . . . or maybe it is! Creative-types often need to divert their physical selves to stimulate their conceptualization chambers in their brains. Walks and yellow leaves may be just the ticket!

     What’s the point? Like Smokey The Bear’s message that “ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES!” — ONLY you know yourself and your circumstances well enough to determine if you’re wasting time or not. And making that determination comes full circle back to the keynote message of the first paragraph above: To thine own self be true!  

     Oh, and by the way (i.e., btw), it’s a choice!  

Comment below or Hal@BusinessWorks.US Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You! Make it a GREAT Day! Blog via RSS feed or $1/mo Kindle. GRANDPARENT Gift? http://bit.ly/3nDlGF