Jul 26 2010
EXCUSES: DISHONORABLE INTENTIONS?
The check’s in the
mail. I’ll get back
to you Friday.
I’ll send you that
update the minute
it comes in. As soon
as we get an invoice.
When shipment
arrives. But I never
got your note. Your
email must have
gotten lost in
Cyberspace. Oh,
that?That was a
“warning”?
You’ve heard it all, right? Maybe you’ve even said some of it yourself. But when your intentions are genuine and sincere, nothing can be more frustrating than hearing a pile of excuses . . . from a customer, a prospect, a supplier, an investor, an employee, a boss.
So, what’s the magic answer? It’s somewhere within yourself. You may not be able to control the attitudes that give birth to replies like these, but you can control your own attitude. You, in fact, are the only one who can.
And by controlling your own response to the excuses you hear, you are cultivating an opportunity for yourself to set a true leadership example. By setting an example, you:
A) Keep your emotions out of the fray and
B) May actually influence the offender to re-visit her or his initial behavior or verbal representation of it, and reconsider a better, more productive, higher integrity avenue.
Perhaps you’re not Henry Ford or Bill Gates or Mary Kay, and the idea of changing the world is not on your breakfast plate, but — as a small business owner or manager or entrepreneur — you are in an extraordinarily unique position to make a difference for yourself, for your family, and for those you work with, simply by choosing to respond instead of react.
Besides, if you never react,
you can never over-react!
People offer excuses to cover their own feelings of inadequacy. Most of the time, you can probably count on excuses being not so much intentionally dishonorable as a shortcoming of the person who’s offering them up in the self-esteem category. Some people who feel they can’t get positive recognition will opt instead for negative recognition because it’s at least some recognition.
Humans crave recognition. And some recognition always beats indifference.
The opposite of love is not hate.
It’s indifference!
When you hear excuses, appreciate the insecurities behind them. When it’s possible to overlook them, do it and then make a point of offering (genuine) appreciation for instances of getting a job done without a presentation of reasons why it didn’t get done.
Offer more encouragement than you might usually provide. Be kinder than you might usually be (because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle). Appreciate differences in perso0nalities and behaviors and help others to grasp the choosing behavior idea through your examples.
Excuses are a way of life, but they are not always intentional or dishonorable. When you give the benefit of doubt to others, you may get bit in the butt a few times, but you’ll be serving the important purpose of minimizing anxieties and demonstrating productive leadership traits most of the time.
The captain who keeps an even keel and balanced ship through stormy seas marks every journey with success.
302.933.0116 Hal@BusinessWorks.US
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“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]