Blow the sale or

hold your tongue?

Diplomacy: Skill and tact in dealing with people

It’s comin’ ’round agin… the ole trainin’ ground fer dip-lo-macy. Yup! Thanksgivin’ gatherin’s.

Now if you can get through the entire dysfunctional-family -Thanksgiving-experience this year (especially this year with the sucky economy and your brother-in-law crabbing about the price of gas to drive to your house to eat), you will have earned a medal.

But –more importantly —  you will have completed the qualifying round for your annual refresher training on how to deal diplomatically with your internal and your external customers! (Internal: associates, employees, referrers, alumni, key suppliers; External: customers / clients / guests / patients, other suppliers, industry and community organizations, and the media) Maybe missing someone here, but you get the idea.

IF you can deal with your in-laws,  little kids terrorizing your dog and spilling unknown fluids on your furnishings and floor coverings, your uncle ranting about his adolescence (which he’s still in), your aunt Tilly reminiscing about her last 47 Thanksgivings, the neighbor’s kid revving up his overhauled Mustang next to your only broken window, and having to step over eleven spastic bodies glued to some idiotic football game on the TV that separates you from the only available bathroom, while hearing that four hours into the roasting process, the turkey still has ice inside of it

… YOU are ready to sell (No, not your house! Your products and services!)

How do we know this?  Because you’ve managed to deal with all of that and not be in jail, or the nuthouse! Somehow, you’ve risen to the occasion, kept the peace, swallowed your pride, bitten your gums and held your tongue (doing the last three items at the same time, by the way, is a pretty good trick!)

So what will you have learned  on the Thanksgiving firing line? There are times to speak and there are times to listen. EVERYONE is a prospective or repeat customer. EVERYone. Your appearance and demeanor and receptivity will determine whether others have a good time or not. Too much alcohol can undo the best of intentions. Too much food will give you a stomachache. Not stepping outside into the fresh air periodically will give you a headache (but avoid the side of the house with the revving Mustang!)

Every day is a new opportunity to do the best that you can do.  Thanksgiving, besides being a truly great opportunity to appreciate family and friends and all the brave young servicemen and servicewomen who make it possible to be able to gather together in the first place. It is also a great day to practice diplomacy and carry that renewed spirit forward in returning to your work.

OR, hey, don’t wait ’til the end of the month;  just read about it here, today, and start holding your tongue tomorrow! Sales are only made by listening! 

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Get Yourself Cranked

In One Minute FREE!

Let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve gotten something this good for free. And it works, and there are no sales gimmicks or strings attached. It simply is good solid proven stuff that I taught for many years in high-priced management training programs. And here it is for my blog visitors just for visiting!

If you own or run or manage or operate a business or part of a business, you are probably already a partial nutcase so I won’t try to make you sane. But I WILL give you a technique you can use every day, over and over, that I guarantee will make a difference for you if you are your usual tenacious self about following through.

Best times for this:

• 1. As soon as you wake up in the morning
• 2. Before you go to bed at night
• 3. While exercising (especially in rhythm to your walking or jogging or lifting or stretching)
• 4. Every time you can possibly think of it during the night or workday, and can sneak in 60 seconds

Take the following as a guide and adapt it to your SELF. Say it convincingly to yourself as much as you possibly can for 21 days.

If you do this with serious concentration and conviction and enthusiasm (even when you don’t feel enthusiastic and even when you are NOT all of the things you are saying to yourself!), you will be truly amazed at the results you produce within a short period of time. 

Ready? Here you go… 132 words… CHANT!

“Healing energy in; healing energy in; healing swirling white light into my body.  

I AM my body: left/right/center. 

I am relaxed, happy, alert, safe and sound, healthy (I’m getting younger every day, stronger every day, more flexible every day, healthier every day), wealthy (all my bills are paid; all my debts are paid; money comes easily and frequently). 

I am painfree day and night; my mind and emotions are clear; I am staying at my ideal weight of xxx pounds and am physically fit. 

I sleep easily and wake up when I need to, feeling rested and alert.  

I treat all people, animals and plants with caring and respect. I recognize that everyone I meet is fighting SOME kind of battle.

Something wonderful is going to happen to me today!”

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Getting Even

Is Getting Nowhere!

     “Don’t Get Mad. Get Even!”  says the T-shirt. “Those guys in that company misrepresented themselves to us, and we’re going to make sure they pay for it; we’ll make them look like chopped liver to the rest of the industry,” says the disgruntled company owner.

      “I put that business in business, and what do they do?  They turn around and try to stick it to me; I’ll fix their butts good; just wait ’til they try to raise some investor money,” says the ego-injured entrepreneur.

     It won’t work. None of it.  The more you pay attention to trying to get even with someone or some entity that did you in, the closer you come to doing yourself in. If you’re crazed about delivering justice, join a band of vigilantes … or start over again and become a lawyer.

     But stop with the need to extract revenge.

     Vengefulness is a waste of time and energy  that diverts attention and costs opportunity loss. It prevents you from doing what you really need to be doing, which is making sales and growing your own business. The more you worry about what others are doing or not doing, the closer you get to self-destruct mode! 

     Not only are these kinds of evil thoughts and misdeeds  harmful to the growth missions you need to rally behind, but the ill intents get talked about and emailed about and txtmsgd about … and it seldom takes more than a day for others connected with your industry (including customers and suppliers and investors and referrers) to find out what you’re up to.

    Plus, the more you try to cover, hide, and disown it, the quicker everyone finds out. In the end, you’ll hang for it because your reputation, trust, and integrity will be flushed away in one quick jerk of the handle!

     It’s just plain not worth it to take your focus off of making sales  and put it instead on paybacks for upsets you have with another business. The best way to beat up another business is to stay away from it, and not bad-mouth it, just — plain and simple — outperform it.

     The best way to outperform another business  is to earn greater customer trust by delivering what you promise and by bending over backwards consistently, 100% of the time!

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  Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

  Open Minds Open Doors 

   Thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Stop with picking your

yellow leaves, already!

     How many times a day, a week,  do you leave your desk to pick yellow leaves from the office plants, abandon your construction site for the nearest donut shop, surf the web while waiting for a conference or call, watch some horrendous network news on a waiting room TV, burst your energy balloon trying to think of who the person across from you reminds you of?

     Have you really nothing better to do?  Of course you do. So HOW do you choose to while away time that you have so much less of than you could possibly imagine, in even your wildest dreams? Notice I’m asking you to deal with PROCESS. What are the steps you go through to arrive at the point of workday lingering, daydreaming, hanging, dawdling, puttering, lazing?

     If you do this a lot, btw,  you are surely a government or corporate employee. [Don’t be offended; mindset-wise, there really is very little difference, you know, except that corporate folks actually have to turn a profit to earn a living.] Hopefully, you simply drift off occasionally and that’s it. If it’s more than once or twice a week, though, you may be part of the problem!

     Here’s a bright spot or two on this subject…

     As motivational guru Earl Nightingale  has often reminded us: YOU BECOME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT! http://halalpiar.com/2009/10/what-are-you-thinking/ and my sign for the wall for you, the boss, to help keep you focused http://halalpiar.com/2009/10/message-for-the-bosss-wall/ These two links will provide all the support you’ll ever need to change your fuzzy ways and be more productive.

     BUT, maybe you care not,  and can’t even concentrate enough to find a towel to throw in. Well, if THAT’s the case, think quick and hard about the last person who surprised you by dying. Is that where your lackadaisical, ambivalent, noncommittal, ass-dragging, not-give-a-damn attitude is taking you? Hmmmm. Getting a little heavy-handed there, huh? Well, no, not really…not if this message arrives in time to be a wake up call.

     The point is  that we need to be –as Henry David Thoreau once urged– forever on the alert! It’s VERY easy to slip into nonproductive, time-wasting tasks of avoidance that become hard to account for when we’re not getting where we want to go.

     I don’t know about getting your nose to the grindstone  (which I would think is a painful maneuver), pulling yourself up by the bootstraps (a difficult task for those wearing sneakers), and putting your head down and charging (which could no doubt be REALLY painful). All at the same time? Sounds messy to me.

     But keeping tuned in to the present moment  each passing moment as much as possible will sure go a long way toward keeping your life and work in a happy balance.

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OK, so now you’re

knee-deep in self-control

     So, what’s next?  Well, now that you have a firm grip on yourself and total control of all those latent late night and early morning temper tantrums, what’s next on the agenda? How about some practical how-to stuff for defusing OTHER people’s anger? Oh, joy!

     First off,  you’re not likely to get an angry associate, employee, friend or family member to instantly calm down just because you can now wave printouts of this blog site at her or his face and point out that the angry feelings are a CHOICE. Right. That’ll get you a subway fare to Madison Square Garden and a sharp stick in the eye.

     What then can I do, oh Anger Guru? What then can I do?  You can START by really paying close attention to the person who’s angry and by listening carefully to what’s being said. To begin, when we lose sight of the present moment and make a conscious or unconscious choice to feel angry about something or at someone, our brains take us rushing into a past who-did-what-to-whom accounting of past wrong-doings OR into an imagined scenario that hasn’t yet happened (and may never)!

     The goal then is to try to help the individual who is angry to come back to the reality of each passing moment as it passes,  to be focused on the here and now. BUT, unless you’re a shrink (and especially if the rampaging bull is wielding some instrument of destruction), it may be in your best interests to simply pretend you’re a rock. Assuming though that the anger is something less than maniacal in measurement, consider the following:

1)  Ask the other person if they would be good enough to please slow down the torrent of complaints long enough for you to be able to write them down on paper so that you can give serious thought to solving each problem (or addressing each issue) one at a time. [Then do proceed to write down each point as a separate item on a list]

2)  Ask the angry individual to help you prioritize each of the items listed so that you can number them as 1: First most important to take care of, 2: Second most important to take care of, 3: Third most important to take care of, etc., etc.

3)  Attack the items in order of the ranking by paraphrasing what was said about each (i.e., “Now let’s see, if I understand you correctly” or “Do I understand you correctly to mean that when Mary pulled John’s toupee off, he reached for it and she went to bite his hand but her dentures fell into the mixing vat and got processed into the pickle jars that were just loaded on the truck that left twenty minutes ago? Is that what you’re saying?”

Repeat and paraphrase until the angry person agrees 100% with your understanding of what the upset is all about, then complete that with a positive comment: “Good. I’m glad I understand this.”

4)  Ask for help in resolving the issue at hand, or at least provide some alternative action options for the angry person to consider.

     Be consistently and pleasantly adult-like and rational and logical and unemotional throughout.  This may be harder than it sounds, but if you’ve done steps 1-4 above, odds are you will already have effectively taken the wind out of the sails and restored some calm and order. As you proceed through the list, items will simply dissolve.     

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You Suck Eggs!

Yeah, well suck THIS: I QUIT!

You can’t quit; You’re Fired!

     You KNOW that the mainstream media lie.  You know the economy isn’t getting better. You know because you see your sales performance. You know because you’ve had to make lousy cutback choices you hate.

     So you’re irritable.  Your fuse is getting shorter. You’re ready to jump down the nearest throat. And the last thing you want to hear is for somebody to tell you to chill! 

     Okay, sometimes it’s hard  to realize that your angry upset feelings are a choice. And sometimes you just want to steamroller over it anyway. You’ve just read 10 sentences of negative thinking.

     Here:  http://halalpiar.com/2009/05/4-steps-in-one-minute-zero-stress/  Try this one-minute diversion for something positive. Go ahead. I’ll wait for you. You’ll be glad you did. Click on it for a 60-second visit, then come back!

     You did it or you “copped out”?  You know what? Where your business, your family, your friendships –and frankly anyone you encounter– comes into play, you really can’t afford to not take advantage of every opportunity to get yourself into, and consistently demonstrate a positive frame of mind.

     Angry feelings ARE a choice.  Deep breathing DOES serve to reduce stress and de-fuse anger. The point is that unless you are monitoring yourself (especially if you’re the boss). no one else is going to do it for you!

     The old saying that it takes two to tango hovers in a holding pattern over ill intentions.  It’s ALWAYS the boss’s job to back off. Real leaders back off. There’s a time to charge forward but not when it involves stampeding over others you are responsible for leading. You are the one who must de-fuse situations… hard to do when your own is sizzling!

     There’s no challenge in accelerating anger.  There’s no intelligence in accelerating anger. There’s no taking back the words or tools used in accelerating anger. There’s no leadership in accelerating anger. There’s no integrity in accelerating anger. There’s only stupidity.

     Why?  Because –and I can promise you this– it will ALWAYS come back to haunt you, perhaps when you least expect it and when it can do you the most personal and / or business harm, but rest assured it WILL come back to haunt you.

     All that having been said,  it’s hard to imagine anyone dumb enough to do it anyway, right? Wrong! Wrong because anger is probably at least half the time an UNconscious choice, capable of rearing its ugly head in the most innocent of circumstances.

     The ounce of prevention  then has to do with making sure you literally surround yourself with positive thinking, positive people, positive statements as much of the time as possible, keep a “here and now” focus as much of the time as possible … and remember to breathe!

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STOP HIRING CONSULTANTS

(for the wrong reasons!)

Dear Business Owners and Managers: Stop with the knee-jerk decisions to hire consultants. They will not help you through the economy unless they are specialists at bringing sales in your door!

Until at least a couple of years down the road,  there is no need for “communication consultants” or “management trainers” or “personal growth and development consultants” or people to write your mission statement, your vision statement, your annual reports or your “white papers.”

How do I know? Because I’ve done all of the above (and made a successful career of it), but I also have run my own business for 35 years, and helped to start hundreds of others. I’ve run management and communication and personal growth and development training programs for 20,000 people. And I’ll be the first to tell you not to waste your time and money on these services, in this economy.

There is only one thing you need consultant support for these days, and that is for services that bring you sales. Period.

That having also been said,  I will be so bold as to suggest that communications and marketing generalists are also not the kinds of “sales consultants” to trust. Find a specialist. Do not EVER hire a marketing or communications consulting firm to do your website. Get a website specialist. Do not EVER hire a website specialist to write your website content. Get a writer who understands sales.

A good, proven commercial / marketing / advertising / website writer can do more for your business than all the ad agencies, marketing and communication consultants and non-sales trainers you can find put together! You need writing help? Hire a writer!

There is a growing temptation to panic at the financial strangulation your cutbacks have created, and grasp at any outside service that –like the frustrated wife whose husband  was a marketing executive and could only ever sit on the edge of the bed and talk about how great it would be– you simply cannot afford right now.

Promises do not perform. Providers with track-records for creating and delivering sales perform, and are worth paying! Look for a successful writer who is a quick study and who shows you she or he can learn your business promptly, who has a customer benefit focus instead of a chest-beating, “how great your business is” and product / service features focus.

You want someone who can help you develop sales strategies and and create the tactics that support that thinking. You want someone who is not afraid to work weekends or evenings to get the job done.

You want someone who will take the extra step, go the extra mile, and give you more than what you expect … someone who is both a talented writer and an example of what you want and expect from a sales pro.

Anyone who fits this profile,  by the way, should also be receptive to at least partial compensation based on performance. I know a lot of consultants will hate me for this post, but –down deep– they’ll have to admit that I speak the truth.

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“Sorry, it’s NOT  FOR  SALE!”

     Think about it.  Almost everything you do and say every day is a form or function or process of  sales, or selling. (And, believe me, the more you think about it, the more you’ll agree!)

     So reality is  that if you’re not relying heavily on customer and client referrals these days, why not just label everything in your store, showroom, briefcase or website as “NOT FOR SALE!” ??? 

     You already know  that the best source of new business is old business … or current business (that translates to targeting past and present customers for repeat sales AND referrals!)

     Past and present customers  are people and organizations that already know you and rely or have relied on you and your company. They have already accepted your ability to deliver what you promise, when you promise. (Also known as “branding”!) They are aware of your reputation. They are aware of your competition and have chosen you now or in the past. 

     You don’t need to “dog and pony show”  or razzmatazz them. You DO need to remind them — clearly and often — how much you appreciate them and their support and patronage and confidence and trust. You DO need to be sure they are still totally pleased with your offerings, and find out what you need to do in order to make sure, if they’re not. 

. . . you DO need to convince them that you will stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for them if that’s what they need, in order to continue counting them as loyal customers.     

     The bottom line is  that you don’t need to convince these people to do business with you, but you DO need to convince them that you will stand on your head and spit wooden nickles for them if that’s what they need, in order to continue counting them as loyal customers or clients — and to be assured that they will continue to refer you to their friends, family, neighbors,  associates, employees, suppliers … even (for publicity and news release coverage sake) media contacts!

     Should you still cold call?  Absolutely! Should you rely on cold calls? Absolutely NOT! You always need to be out there registering positive first impressions with prospects. But remember that the bulk of your sales (studies show close to 80%) will come from established customers and clients.

     Ah, and there are fringe benefits  connected with focusing on present and past customers. Chasing repeat sales and referrals from those who have come to you before or who are presently dealing with you will prove more productive, easier to communicate with and influence, less time-consuming, and almost always more pleasant. Not so sure? How much easier is it for you to spend time with old friends than to make new ones?                                          

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When You Can’t Get +

Don’t Settle For –

     We are all humans  (I believe; at least my blog diagnostics don’t show quality visits here from Animal Planet — or any other planet, for that matter!) and because we are (human), it is part of our pattern of emotional instincts that when we cannot get positive recognition, we settle for ANY kind of recognition, and will sometimes resort to seeking NEGATIVE recognition when nothing else is forthcoming.

     Negative recognition  is, after all, better than no recognition at all, right? Wrong! Unless of course you happen to be 3 years-old … or a manic-depressant … or a masochist … or a hermit … or a piece of broccoli! 

     Aha!  But many of us ACT 3 years-old when we are not getting pats on the back (or fanny, if you’re on a sports team; or on your knee or the back of your hand if you’re a patient … why do doctors always pat reassurance into your knee or back of your hand?) This is true for sure.

     The point is  that seeking negative recognition is a mentally unbalanced and emotionally unhealthy behavior. Consider if you will that those who make a practice of this, are those who frequently prompt wars, fights, arguments, teenage “groundings” (remember those?), military court-marshals, disciplinary actions, prejudice, divorce, abandonment, murder, jail terms, HIGH risk!

     When we can’t get positive recognition  for something we’ve done or said or thought, we have a tendency to turn in the direction of seeking some alternative (vs. just letting it go, because letting go is life’s most difficult task!) In other words, we drag ourselves down to the point where getting verbally bashed actually serves as a payoff!

     Yeah, right;  poor me; I really did screw up; I deserve all the criticism; beat me! (HA!HA! At least I finally got myself noticed!) Hey, folks: this is a sick mental/emotional state that calls for professional guidance. We all take it on the chin sometimes, but when someone is out seeking to take it on the chin, there’s a problem there.

     If that someone is you, get help! If it’s someone who works for you, get that person help. Having to evidence negative behavior to get noticed (ala temper tantrums) can end up costing your your business, lickity-split! It only takes one knife-blade, one bullet, one match!

     Remember all behavior is a choice.

     Some people get stuck not realizing or practicing that. Sometimes a professional is the best one to get that behavior UNstuck. 

     Oh, one other thought,  be more conscious of how important positive recognition is to 99.99% of all employees (and children) and make a practice of dishing it out a whole lot more than you probably think is needed or appropriate. It’s hard to offer too much

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Call it whatever you want…

     Call it an incubator,  a co-op, a strategic alliance, shared platforms, networking, whatever you want . . . the bottom line is that the long-term business success effects of this sucky economy and dollar devaluation are going to be measured in terms of how much you can be both a leader AND a team player!

     The US Army teaches  that — among other things — to be a great leader requires also being a great teammate and follower. You can lead your business straight over the cliff by ignoring all other businesses around you and “going for broke,” if you choose a path of arrogance.

     The major difference  between arrogance and self-sufficiency and independence is that the first of these is an attitude. Combining forces with other businesses doesn’t render you helpless. If it does, you’ve selected the wrong business to work with, or you have an attitude problem.

     Combining forces with other businesses  should put your business — and the others — in a position of strength. It means that one business picks up where the other leaves off to the mutual benefit of all involved. Money can be involved, but it doesn’t always have to be. Ego is almost always involved; don’t let it be. Self-importance loses wars, and crushes business ventures!

     A Two-Way WIN-WIN:  I work with a bright young business that specializes in Internet marketing (website design and services, email and SEO programs, etc.). We combined website development interests because that firm’s strengths were tech-driven and mine were content-driven. We share responsibilities on work generated and produce a better, more complete product by focusing on what we do best.

     A Three-Way WIN-WIN-WIN:  A local liquor store and area deli have combined forces at a local fire department to raise money for an area charity by paying the fire department space rental and soliciting donations for admission to a “Giant Wine & Cheese Tasting Festival” that includes vendor donations of wine and cheese from a couple of dozen manufacturers and distributors who supply the two stores. Actually, if you think about it, this is like a 30-Way WIN situation.

     Can your business share  a workspace? A receptionist? A display area? A parking lot? A truck or delivery service? A database? Utilities? Cleaning services? Expertise? Research? Resources? Sales teams? Payroll services? Meeting rooms? Advertising media expenses? THINK about it!

     The next chapter in American business  will revolve around ways to economize even more than you are right now. The challenge will be to make the most of every resource, including those of neighboring or allied businesses. OPEN MINDS OPEN DOORS.   

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