“Where laughter fails

to heal, it never fails

to ease the pain.”

 – A terminal cancer patient

     I am convinced that nothing –nothing– is better medicine or better health food than laughter.  Nothing binds people together like laughter. 

     Laughter is the magic ingredient that’s the single most overwhelming key to success in business, professional practices (I know, it;s hard to imagine laughing lawyers, doctors and accountants, but stay with me here), marriages, families, organizations, and partnerships. 

     I did qualify the professional practice types with the word “success” which may or may not interpret as financial success.  Certainly it’s not in the context of the old medical self-love acknowledgement that “the operation was a success but the patient died.” 

     I’m talking about the success in life success, as in business life, social life, family life, religious life, outdoor life, academic life, you get the idea.  Laughter may not make you a success in any facet of life, but it’s hard as hell to think anyone could get there without it!  Ha! 

     Laughter is a universal symbol of mental and emotional health.  Mental and emotional health is increasingly credited by experts as the central source of physical health.

     Did you get the last laugh when you last laughed?  Or were you simply enjoying the spirit of the moment?  Come to think of it, when did you last laugh?  If you can’t answer this in terms shorter than minutes or hours, you in deep trouble, brother! 

     You better take two aspirin, drink lots of liquids, get to bed, and call me in the morning sounding so hysterical laughing that everyone else in your household thinks you’re sick!  Think you can do that? 

     Oh, and before you make the call, pitter-patter your little bare feet into the bathroom (in all probability, an especially essential trip after drinking lots of fluids anyway), and stick that face of yours in the mirror. 

     Er, maybe take care of the fluids first unless the mirror is, well, you know . . . now SMILE into the mirror!  No, not that dorky make-believe grin you give co-workers when they offer you a bite of their meatball sub or the one you save for the neighbor seconds after stepping backwards in your sneakers onto his Saint Bernard’s fresh deposit in your driveway. 

     I’m talking GENUINE smile here.  Go for it!  What’s the worst thing can happen?  Your significant other asks what you’re doing?  Ha!  “I’m smiling.” is all you have to say. 

     Give it your all.  Teeth.  Cheeks.  Eyes.  Something that will burst into a laugh when you actually realize it’s on your own face!  YOW! 

     Man, what a struggle.  You better start doing a lot more of that.  It’s good for you, uses fewer muscles than a frown, and might even make you some new friends!  Hey, a couple of laughs won’t kill you, y’know.  What’s that commercial?  It’s in you.  Do it.  HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!        

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Hal@Businessworks.US 302.933.0116

Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

I couldn’t even imagine

                                                                              

hiring 99 out of 100! 

As you may know, I taught college (business, psychology, career development, creative writing) for many years, full time at Ocean County Coillege, parttime at Pace University and Georgian Court College and with the US Army Columbia College Extension Program.  At present, I’m loosely attached to the corporate training program of a small community college. 

     So, let’s say I have some sense of what college life is all about. 

     Or did!  Today that little piece of enlightened experience was smashed to smithereens.  Well, okay, it was severely dented; I’ve just been waiting a while to find someplace where I could sneek in that smithereens expression; it’s such a cool phrase. 

     Anyway, today I had occasion to be (what I felt like was) the oldest living human being in the middle of one of America’s largest and most populated university campuses. 

     My educated, experienced, objective observations?  99 out of 100 college students are just big high school students, and that’s a gracious understatement. 

     Walking through noontime clouds of cigarette and marijuana smoke, I thought I was thrown back into a time tunnel visiting San Francisco academic institutions in the early 70’s.  Aw, c’mon, Hal, there’s no more drugs and smoking on America’s campuses.  Right.   

     Overhearing how wonderful Obama’s decision was to consider adopting a puppy (nothing about the rest of his press conference, or unanswered questions about taxes, forthcoming Cabinet composition, exchanges with President Bush and all the former living Presidents, a peculiar side comment about Nancy Reagan, etc.), I was reminded of the lectures I used to give on selective perception, or, essentially, hearing only what one wants to hear. 

     At least a dozen students slept soundly (or were perhaps unconscious?) on benches and couches as thousands rushed past them to packed café tables brimming with pizza and beer pitcher lunches (Aw, c’mon, Hal, there’s no more drinking on America’s campuses.  Right.) . . . and more smoke. 

     Oh, and I was very nearly blinded by glittery body jewelry (counting, of course, only what was above, between, or creeping out of clothing, or those marvelous little glistening moments of illumination bursting forth from various tongues whenever the sun hit conversing, gasping, laughing, or drooling mouths at the right angle) . . . enough gold, silver, platinum, brass, bronze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, to fill a flaming footlocker. 

     Now, I don’t much care how weird a lot of people choose to look; I’ve been there myself; but the pervasiveness of immature attitudes and behaviors that seem to be driven by unorthodox clothes (or lack of), makeup, jewelry, hairstyles and colors left me wondering about the challenge of corporate recruitment efforts, and the slim pickin’s American management has today in the business world. 

     I acknowledge this may not be the case when it comes to filling those beyond-IT-related positions, where wild and wooly and bizarre personalities seem to thrive. 

     So the new corporate America management teams need first and foremost to be surrogate parents, yes?  Go ahead, tell me what you think.  Tell me I’m wrong.  I hope I am.  I couldn’t even imagine hiring 99 out of 100 of the thousands I passed today. 

     That’s a sad commentary on parenting, on educational discipline, and on the take-everything-for-granted lifestyles that permeate today’s young people, descendents of the yuppies!  The times they are a changin’, sang Bob Dylan . . .  Halalpiar         

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     I’m not sure why

     . . . I choose right now to share this, perhaps just a whim, but I ran across some old lesson notes from my professor days and the following paraphrase that students used to love.  It’s of James Aggrey’s “The Parable of the Eagle” as represented in the classic 1971 Addison-Wesley Gestalt book on transactional analysis: Born To Win by Murial James and Dorothy Jongeward.  I thought you might enjoy it, and may want to share it with someone special:

Once upon a time, while walking through the forest, a certain man found a young eagle.  He took it home and put it in his barnyard where it soon learned to eat chicken feed and to behave as chickens behave.

One day, a naturalist who was passing by inquired of the owner why it was that an eagle, the king of all birds, should be confined to live in the barnyard with the chickens.

“Since I have given it chicken feed and trained it to be a chicken, it has never learned to fly,” replied the owner.  “It behaves as chickens behave, so it is no longer an eagle.”

“Still,” insisted the naturalist. “it has the heart of an eagle and can surely be taught to fly.”

After talking it over, the two men agreed to find out whether this was possible.  Gently, the naturalist took the eagle in his arms and said, “You belong to the sky and not to the earth.  Stretch forth your wings and fly.”  The eagle, however, was confused; he did not know who he was, and, seeing the chickens eating their food, he jumped down to be with them again.

Undismayed, the naturalist took the eagle on the following day up on the roof of the house, and urged him again, saying, “You are an eagle.  Stretch forth your wings and fly.”  But the eagle was afraid of his unknown self and world and jumped down once more for the chicken food.

On the third day, the naturalist rose early anfd took the eagle out of the barnyard to a high mountain.  There, he held the king of birds high above him and encouraged him again, saying, “You are an eagle.  You belong to the sky as well as to the earth.  Stretch forth your wings now and fly.”

The eagle looked around, back towards the barnyard and up to the sky.  Still he did not fly.  Then the naturalist lifted him straight towards the sun and it happened that the eagle began to tremble, slowly he stretched his wings.  At last, with a triumphant cry, he soared away into the heavens.

It may be that the eagle still remembers the chickens with nostalgia; it may even be that he even occasionally revisits the barnyard.  But as far as anyone knows, he has never returned to lead the life of a chicken.  He was an eagle thought he had been kept and tamed as a chicken.

     Just like the eagle, say James and Jongeward, a person who has learned to think of herself or himself as something she or he isn’t, can re-decide in favor of her or his real potential . . . and become a winner! 

     You may need a helper, and just the thought of leaving the barnyard may make you tremble, but taking flight? — It’s a choice!  

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Imagine being featured performer

inside a shoulder-to-shoulder ring

of twenty or thirty shrinks! 

     Ever get yourself frustrated with a relative, neighbor, friend, co-worker, employee or boss who is just too damn busy to visit, socialize, go to lunch, get coffee before (or a beer after) work,  discuss books, articles, music, film or theatre productions, children or grandchildren, church, doctors, or the circus . . . anything that has nothing to do with work?  

     You know who I’m talking about.  Somebody you’re pretty sure is not on the wittness protection program.  It’s that loner who can’t find (or seem to make) the time for pleasure travel or experiences.  Often, it’s someone who’s rarely in touch with any sporting event or team, hobby, or community organization . . .  and is often distant to her or his own family?  

     Don’t feel rejected.  Odds are it has nothing to do with you. 

     In psychotherapeudic circles (I know, I know, they don’t sound like such great places to be either.  I mean just imagine being featured performer inside a shoulder-to-shoulder ring of twenty or thirty shrinks!  Yikes!  That’s enough to make you crazy even if you weren’t to start with) — anyway, in this psycho-shrink category of diagnostics, particularly as it emerges from Gestalt Therapy, people who create distance with others usually do it unconsciously.  

     By barracading themselves behind desks, office doors, and work schedules, it’s easier to explain their reluctance to get involved with others’ lives, and with themselves.  By consistently saying yes to others’ requests (to the point of his or her own detriment, exhaustion, for example), it’s easier to avoid intimacy (tenderness, empathy and affection, caring) at any level.  There’s always something to keep preoccupied with!  In Transactional Analysis (TA), this kind of activity is referred to as a subconscious “game” called The Harried Executive.

     I get accused of this on occasion, but my work, my writing, is my life . . . and I never avoid contact with those around me, though I will often delay an encounter until I’ve finished the sentence or paragraph I’m working on, and I will often avoid getting into situations that offer no personal reward . . . going to an opera or ballet, for example, because I do not understand or appreciate either (with apologies to my wonderful high school classmate, ballet star, teacher, and ballet aficionado friend Rhodie Jorgenson, whom I greatly admire). 

     The Harried Executive may have once been emotionally traumatized by allowing his or herself to get too close to someone else, and then been stood-up, or jilted, or in worst-case scenerios: cheated, beaten, robbed, or raped. 

     Percolating somewhere down deep in such an individual’s unconcsious mind is the fear of ever getting into that kind of situation again, and the misguided notion that avoidance of all things, people, and experiences that represent any kind of intimacy is the safest route to take.  Folks like this need help, but probably not from you, unless you have a Masters of Social Work.  Free yourself from guilt and worry and get on with your life and career.        

Note http://blog.igburton.com for my new two-part blog series (Part I tonight and Part II this coming Thursday) on STOP HOLIDAY DRIVING STRESS . . . good stuff for all of us!   Halalpiar    

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 54 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

DO I HAVE TO DO

EVERYTHING MYSELF?

     How many times have you made (or heard) this complaint?  One reason new businesses fail is that the entrepreneurial founders feel like they have to do everything themselves, or else . . .

     Or else WHAT? 

     Or else it won’t get done right?  What is “right”?  Who says what is “right” and what is “wrong”?   

     Don’t you really mean to say that “No one else will do this task the way I would do it”?  Well, Sherlock, that’s probably close to 100% true in every instance! 

     It’s not likely ANYone will ever do ANYthing exactly the way you would because no one else could possibly be as motivated as you because it’s not her or his business.  It’s YOUR business. 

     So what’s the next best way to deal with things?  If you’re lucky and have been careful in recruiting and hiring, you should be reasonably able to expect that someone else really should be able to do whatever task that’s asked of him or her, and be able to get it done in a manner that you should be able to live with (assuming that the end result is the same as it would have been had you done things your way). 

     But, you know what?  If you can’t tolerate someone else’s method (assuming the other person’s time and expenses are not totally out of whack), you need to either get on with doing the task yourself and not bitching about it, and realizing you’ve stumbled onto a roadblock to your business’s growth . . . or turn your business over to someone else and go get another life. 

     Delegating is not easy when you’re used to doing everything yourself, but your business can’t grow if you can’t get others to get the job done. 

     Delegation requires encouragement, training and back-up support, and incentives.  Small frequent rewards work wonders.  So does a physical pat on the back for a job well done (regardless of whether it was accomplished in exactly the same way you would have done it or not), a handwritten note, recognition in a news release or on a plaque or certificate, or a special bonus or reward that fits that person’s needs. 

     Only you can decide what motivates best and you can only do that by getting to know what makes each individual tick!  That means you need to get to know those who work for and around you well enough to help them achieve what’s important to them!       halalpiar

 Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 45 days ago (inside a coffin) that previously appeared at the end of each daily post, that now has it’s own home: Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the lead headline link!

Do you work for a

bunch of pushers? 

Well, it looks like another big-time management theory has just bumped itself over the horizon by virtue of a new book, The Momentum Effect: How to Ignite Exceptional Growth, by J.C.Larreche. 

Larreche is an INSEAD Graduate Business School Marketing Professor.  He categorizes businesses as “Pushers,” or “Plodders,” or “Pioneers.”

• Pushers push their businesses hard traditionally seeking to drive sales through aggressive marketing increases. 
• Plodders are safety zone status-quo-invested businesses that maintain constant marketing-to-sales ratios. 
• Pioneers cut traditional marketing expenses to explore, discover, and cultivate other more creative and more effective avenues of growth, reducing advertising-to-sales ratios despite overall expense increases

The author contends that research he’s done uses Dow Jones Index markers and proves the revenue growth of Pioneer businesses measured over two decades ends up 93% better (almost twice as dramatic an increease) over Pusher businesses that spent considerably more in traditional “spend money to make money” marketing mindsets, while Pioneers and Pushers, both, left the Plodders in the dust!

Okay, so how does this translate for small business?  Slow down the push to be like everyone else in the market, and step up some new industry and community leadership approaches that will set you apart from the rest of the pack. 

If it feels like too big of a risk to suddenly start trying to do things differently, that’s a signal from the secure little competitive corner of your brain that you should do it!

Wasn’t it your Grandaddy that told you something like “Nothing ventured, nothing . . .”?

Remember that Momentum Leaders are, as Professor Larreche exclaims, “not lucky — they are smart.”  He says that managers often talk about “riding the wave,” but that Momentum Leaders aren’t so passive.  They believe you must first build your wave, then ride it.                   halalpiar 

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 38 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

People need to be rewarded

and motivated at the level of

what’s important to them

at the time. 

     There’s an old story about a high-tech company whose people had labored futily to solve a particular manufacturing problem until one tenacious, persistent employee who had worked nights and weekends for a solution, actually produced the evasive answer to the company’s CEO. 

     The boss was so excited, he promptly reached for anything he could find to reward the dedicated employee, and came up with a banana he’d been keeping for lunch in his top drawer! 

     Gold banana lapel pins became the company’s symbol that employees strived to win in the years that followed.  Many millions of dollars in saved productivity costs are the reported result. 

     Now I’m not suggesting you give out bananas instead of cash to deserving employees, but I am saying that small frequent rewards have proven much more effective motivators than salary increases (which of course are permanent) or annual bonuses (or holiday turkeys!) which come to be expected and routine . . . unless, of course, you’re looking for expected, routine performances?  

     Consider that a cash reward means nothing to someone who’s just come into a family inheritance, or whose spouse earns top dollar in her or his job.  A dinner out or theatre tickets will have more meaning . . . or a plaque or certificate of appreciation . . . or free entry in a golf tournament. 

     Great, you say, but how would you know about these things?  AHA! Therin lies the answer.  You, Ms. or Mr. Boss must be a detective! 

     You need to get to know those who work for you well enough to figure out what makes them tick, and reward them at that level. 

• Someone with orthodontic needs for a twelve year-old child will be thrilled at your agreement to pay all costs in excess of insurance coverage. 
• Someone who is constantly reporting late work arrivals because of stalled car starts or flat tires will be highly motivated when good performance is rewarded with payment in full for a year’s worth of car servicing appointments or a set of new tires. 
• Someone who seems constantly afraid of home fires or burglary will find big-time work incentives out of rewards like fire and theft insurance policy payments or a fire/burglar alarm system installation and/or monthly service charge payments.

     People need to be rewarded and motivated at the level of what’s important to them at the time.  To be getting the most out of employee performance efforts, take the time and trouble to discover what’s important to them and respond accordingly. 

     But, be careful about how you say what you say in offering these kinds of rewards so recipients are not embarrassed.  You can still praise in public (criticize in private) by handing someone a “special reward envelope” so that the recipient can elect to explain, or not, to co-workers.    halalpiar

[See July 25, 2008 post –righthand column POST ARCHIVE/July–  “MANAGEMENT BY RUNNING AROUND” reference to Maslow’s Hierarchy as the #1 management theory of motivation]         

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 27 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

BOSS?  THIS ONE’S FOR YOU! 

ANSWER THESE 6

QUESTIONS?

     Having the world’s greatest business plan and unrestricterd access to the most leading-edge technology available can spell (are you ready for this?) disasterous failure!  Aw, c’mon, Hal, how’s that possible? 

     If you are a business or professional practice owner or manager and you don’t regard your people as your most important asset, and motivate them accordingly –24/7– you can bank (whoops! maybe not a good word this week) . . . you can count on rampant failure!

     If you can’t answer the following 6 questions to reflect the above conclusion in a positive light, your business or professional practice is in deep trouble, and you need to get things back on track in a hurry!  

1.      Can you readily identify and separate your internal (employees, referrers, and vendors) and external customers?  Can you really tell the difference?  Do you have a current and comprehensive database of your internal customers?  What percentage of every day are you actively marketing to your internal customers?  [i.e., marketing your people; marketing TO your people; marketing THROUGH your people.]
2.      Do you think the meaning of customer (client/patient) service is to have CUSTOMER SERVICE?  [i.e., Are you marketing to your external customers and attracting new external customers by marketing to your internal customers?  This can spare you the expense and complications of having to make or sustain a formal CUSTOMER SERVICE department.  Properly motivated, everyone should be able to deal with customer service issues on their own.]
3.      Do you think only “touchy-feely doo-dah” types focus on building relationships while REAL businesspeople focus on building sales?  What percentage of each do you do?  Is there a healthy enough balance to ensure internal relationships that are strong enough to produce sales surges when they’re needed?
4.      When and why does an inexpensive toy motivate performance better than cash?  (Answer tomorrow!)
5.      Can you “ask, don’t tell with the words you use?  Can you “engineer,” not “architect” with the pictures you paint?  (More on this tomorrow too!)  [i.e., Marketing through your people means being careful with what you say and how you say it!]
6.      Are you breeding entrepreneurs (and can you manage them)?  Or are you breeding investment in the status quo (and can you manage that)?  [i.e., Are you encouraging others with examples of reasonable risk-taking?]

     Tune in tomorrow, same time, same station!               halalpiar

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 26 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

Go get your friends, family, neighbors and work associates! 

Everything You Always

                                                  

Wanted to Know

                                                                                           

About How to Manage

                                                                                  

Your SELF Under Stress,

                                                                                        

But Were Afraid to Ask.

     I see major seminar companies charging hundreds of dollars for the information presented here for FREE . . .  

     If you or someone you know has a “short fuse” or a tendancy to over-react at home or work, or be disorganized, put things off, be worried or anxious, or constantly feel guilty, do yourself or that other person you care about a favor by connecting to the blog posts found below on this page, and —especially– by clicking in the “Post Archive” section(under “Blogroll”and “Literary Agents”) about half-way down the righthand column (on this page).  

Then check out the following quick reads (from self-learning materials which produced the best results for over 20,000 students in 30 years of college teaching and management training seminars) :

JUGGLING CATS (Sep 21);     VICTIM OR RESCUER (Sep 19);     Dear Boss: Besides that they suck, meetings waste time (Sep 16);     Business Writing & Writer Writing Tip #1001: GETTING ORGANIZED (Sep 13);     PERFECTIONISM . . . (Sep 07);     MORE BUSINESS TO LEARN FROM SPORTS (Sep 06);     Calling All Corporate Types, Entrepreneurs, Homemakers . . . ((Sep 02);     DEALING WITH INDIFFERENCE (Aug 27);     ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE (Aug 26);     Thoughts While Driving . . . (Aug 22);     WATCH YOUR TONGUE . . . (Aug 20);     Surprise! Nobody MAKES you angry . . . (Aug 19);     REAL LEADERS . . . (Aug 15);     MANAGEMENT “THEORY A” (Aug 12);     HAVE YOU TAKEN A REALITY READING LATELY? (Aug 11);     THE POOL RULE (Aug 10);     EFFECTIVE JOURNALING (Aug 05);     DEALING WITH ANGER (Aug 02);     “CHANGE” IS NOT A LEADERSHIP WORD! (Jul 03);     ATTITUDE is the answer . . . (Jun 14);     REALITY THERAPY . . . (Jun 11);     LIFE IS JUST A BOWL OF WORRIES (May 29);     EVERY PROBLEM=AN OPPORTUNITY (May 21);     WHADDAYAWANT? . . . (May 07);     STRATEGIES MUST COME FROM INSIDE (May 02);     LIFE IS GOOD . . . (Apr 29) 

     And most important of all:

See “ARE YOU BREATHING?” under the “Magazine Articles” tab at the top of the homepage.  Happy blog post anthology-skimming!     halalpiar

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    “WE DON’T SWIM

     IN YOUR TOILET

   . . . SO DON’T YOU

     PEE IN OUR POOL!”

      As a youngster, I remember snickering at seeing one of these comedic placards that you always find in tourist trap souvenir stores (and the one next to my friend’s father’s fish tank!).

     Well, you know what?  That maybe-not-so-silly little pool rule seems to me to have some surprisingly important value when you apply the notion to working in someone else’s office, joining in someone else’s conversation, sitting in on someone else’s meeting, visiting in someone else’s home, entering someone else’s private space, and being entrusted to spend someone else’s money. 

     Break it down and it’s all about respect, which sometimes these days appears to be going the way of buggy whips, 8-track cassettes, and carbon paper.  The only trouble is that buggy whips, 8-track cassettes, and carbon paper are all things, and have all been replaced by newer better stuff.  Respect (aka R-E-S-P-E-C-T, as in the song!), though, is a value, not a thing.  And I’ve never heard of an adequate substitute. 

     We speak of having to earn respect.  We’re told as children to respect our elders . . . and keep a respectful distance from the neighborhood mongrel, and from strangers who offer candy.  Yet, something here is missing. 

How many friends, family members and work associates can you honestly say you respect? 

How many do you think respect you? 

(Have you earned it?) 

How important is respect to your life pursuits? 

Your career? 

Your love life? 

Your feelings about your SELF? 

     What can you do to make this better than it is, or turn it around if it’s headed in the wrong direction?  What specific steps can you take now that are genuine (vs. quick-fix), to help yourself gain greater respect from others?  How much of your answer to the last question relates to the amount of respect you put out to those around you?

     A good place to start may be to take inventory so that you have a clearer image of those who are “around you”!   Draw a target —three or four concentric circles— on paper and decide who is closest to you (put them or he or she in the middle circle), next closest person/people (next ring), and so forth.  Of course, include animals if you like. 

     A few rings worth will give you a more accurate and balanced and realistic idea than the image you may have of these relationships that you carry around in your head.  If you’re happy with your circles, congratulations!  If you think you can do better, the R-E-S-P-E-C-T song isn’t a bad place to begin!  (Oh, and by the way, there is no end to respecting others!) 

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Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals! God Bless You.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Make today a GREAT day for someone!