This is the time

  between waves. 

     Have you ever noticed the utter serenity of the sea in between waves? 

     How much is that like your life and the work you do? 

     Thanksgiving visits and family were here in a tidal wave (perhaps more like a tsunami for some), and gone . . . tiny stones and shells aclatter, scamper down the beach in withdrawal as the tide turns low. 

     Business activity slows incrementally to more of a crawl each day between now and New Year’s when it all grinds to a halt.  Ah, but not for entrepreneurs or manufacturers!  Not for writers!  Not for retailers!  Not for emergency personnel!  Not for those forced out of work by economic uncertainty.   

     This is the time between waves. 

     Now is when small business owners and operators and manufacturing enterprise management can finally take a breather from the year-long pounding of phones, faxes, mail deliveries, media broadcasts, meetings, conferences, emails, text messages, trade shows, endless travel itineraries, and industry reports, and get some real work done.

     Now is when their attentions shift to strategizing, planning, scheduling, catch-up reading, assessing, courtesy-calling, audits and inventories, and getting ready for the next big wave in January. 

     Writers?  Yup!  Now is when writers can drop back from their day-to-day discipline and actually review what they’ve done; this time between waves is the perfect time to edit and polish and prepare to get the manuscript or feature story done, to get an agent, get a publisher, get a direction for developing more freelance work. 

     Retailers?  Let’s not even go there.  This between waves time is “make it or break it.”  No time even to think. 

     Emergency personnel?  We all know that emergencies never stop and, if anything, they increase dramatically during the holiday season . . . and afterward, especially during the depression-heightened month of January! 

     So holidays mean relaxing business ebbs for some, and ulcerous anxieties for others.  Where are you right now?  You’re definitely not a retailer or EMT or ER nurse because you’d never have time to read this. 

     So since you are reading this far, it might be useful to remind yourself to make the choice to take full advantage of being between the waves.  It’s easy to get caught up in nonproductive activities, but you won’t get this valuable “down time” back until –maybe– the end of next year!  DO relax, but don’t fade away.        

     If you’re out of work, don’t count yourself out and head for the bridge.  You have the ability to pull yourself back up, kick yourself in the butt (a bit tricky, but not impossible for most!), and propel yourself forward back into the job market. 

     Remember that every problem that a company has is an opportunity for you to find the job that’s right for you, either in that company or another.  Stop beating yourself up.  Get focused.  And go for it!  Make it happen!  You can do it if you really want to.  All behavior is a choice.  Choose to make it easy

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Sleeping With The Boss?

A staggering number of U,S, businesses —96%— are estimated to be either family-owned or family-controlled! 

     It’s anyone’s guess how many are family operated, but the bottom line is that it takes a very special relationship or cluster of relationships to work together effectively all day, every day (even every few days!), and still maintain healthy personal lives and separate identities.  Teamwork.  Shared leadership.  Give and take.  Active listening.

     This post comes from firsthand experience. 

     My wife Kathy and I work together, eat together, sleep together and vacation together.  We’ve been doing that every day, pretty much seven days a week, for over twenty years. 

     We’ve nearly killed each other a hundred times, but neither of us would have it any other way, and we’d do it all over again if we could.    

     Noted management professor and author Harry Levinson says “The family is never free of the business; all conversation and relationships seem to be built around it.  Nor,” he adds, “is the business ever free of the family.”

     When you eat, sleep, and drink the business, it’s often difficult to separate personal issues and concerns, to live personal lives, to be preserving your relationships. 

     But keep in mind that because all behavior is a matter of choice, separating business from personal is only difficult when you choose for it to be difficult.  You can choose for it to be easy!

     In entrepreneurship development programs and family business counseling sesions I ran, I would often advise married business partners to paint or tape a brightly-colored line across the doorway to their bedrooms, and not allow any business discussions, or even business thoughts to creep in and cross the divider. 

     One couple reported they enforce a required laugh out loud –even half-hearted– as admission to cross their red lightbulb-lined (on a timer) door frame.

     I guess the thought of that is a laugh by itself, but frankly, this bedroom divider line idea is probably useful advice for any couple, regardless of career. 

     Keeping a pen and paper (and penlight!) next to the bed to record middle-of-the-night bursts of inspiration or jot down to-do lists that keep you awake should provide all the business outlet anyone should need once he or she steps into the bedroom. 

     Bedtime in the bedroom is simply not the right time or the right place to talk about sales, distribution, taxes, accounts payable, collections, irate customers, business investments, R&D projects, bank loans, marketing programs, or employee performance. 

     It’s just not, that’s all.  It’s, in fact, destructive, taxing, unhealthy, and highly stressful . . . like the negative wired-out edge you might expect to get from watching network tv news all night! 

     Besides allowing yourself to jet down, and sleep more soundly, it will help soothe your neurological system to get brainstorm ideas and troublesome thoughts down on paper, and out of your head!  And DO remember the penlight.  No one likes waking up in the middle of the night to glaring lights and her or his bed partner writing up a business storm.    halalpiar 

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What ARE you looking

to do with your life?  

     Okay, your business is your life, or at least a humongous chunk of your life, yes?  That’s great.  I love my work and consider myself fortunate to be doing what I most enjoy as my means to earning a living so we’re in this together.  BUT . . .

     When did you last break away from your job

and thinking about your job to . . . hug? 

     Renowned Gestalt-based family therapist/author/icon Virginia Satir www.advanta.net/ said it takes 12 hugs a day to grow emotionally strong.  And you do know that being mentally and/or physically strong enough to do your job effectively, and excel, requires that you also be emotionally strong. 

     What good are you as a business or professional practice owner or manager if your emotional scale is tipped too far to the left or teetering on the edge of a breakdown, temper tantrum, road rage, or worse? 

     So what does your scorecard look like?  How many hugs today?  You initiated them or someone else did?  Planned or spontaneous?  Real or token?  Pitter-pattery or bone-crushing?  Start keeping track.  You’ll learn a whole lot about others and your self.  And the more you know about you, the better you’ll deal with others.

     Ah, dealing with others.  Right.  So now that your cage is arattlin’, lets’ try another quiz: When did you last pat someone on the back for a job well done?  A staff member?  A peer?  A teammate?  An opposing team member?  A child?  A parent?  A stranger?  Your spouse?  A customer?  A partner? 

     People –ALL people (and most domestic animals too)– appreciate being appreciated, especially for performing small deeds and accomplishing routine little tasks that ordinarily go unnoticed.

     Try a pat on the back accompanied by: “Thanks for taking the responsibility to do your homework before playing computer games!” or “Thanks for the great dinner; I really enjoyed that salad!” or “Good job with that regular weekly report; it’s nice to see your efforts be so steady and reliable!” or “Good hustle, Harry; you were almost safe, and you did knock in that run!” or “I don’t ever mention it, but you should know I appreciate that you just automatically do so much laundry every week, and never even complain; thank you!” 

     Or just: “Thank you for helping me become the person I am” or “Thank you for helping me become a more authentic person” or “Thank you for helping me to grow” or “Thank you for being so supportive when I needed it!” 

IF WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN LIFE, START BY MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE WAYS YOU SUPPORT AND APPRECIATE OTHERS. 

     In the process, you will “happily surprise” others, but you will astonish your self!  Guaranteed!  Thank you for considering these ideas! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US    302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

“Where laughter fails

to heal, it never fails

to ease the pain.”

 – A terminal cancer patient

     I am convinced that nothing –nothing– is better medicine or better health food than laughter.  Nothing binds people together like laughter. 

     Laughter is the magic ingredient that’s the single most overwhelming key to success in business, professional practices (I know, it;s hard to imagine laughing lawyers, doctors and accountants, but stay with me here), marriages, families, organizations, and partnerships. 

     I did qualify the professional practice types with the word “success” which may or may not interpret as financial success.  Certainly it’s not in the context of the old medical self-love acknowledgement that “the operation was a success but the patient died.” 

     I’m talking about the success in life success, as in business life, social life, family life, religious life, outdoor life, academic life, you get the idea.  Laughter may not make you a success in any facet of life, but it’s hard as hell to think anyone could get there without it!  Ha! 

     Laughter is a universal symbol of mental and emotional health.  Mental and emotional health is increasingly credited by experts as the central source of physical health.

     Did you get the last laugh when you last laughed?  Or were you simply enjoying the spirit of the moment?  Come to think of it, when did you last laugh?  If you can’t answer this in terms shorter than minutes or hours, you in deep trouble, brother! 

     You better take two aspirin, drink lots of liquids, get to bed, and call me in the morning sounding so hysterical laughing that everyone else in your household thinks you’re sick!  Think you can do that? 

     Oh, and before you make the call, pitter-patter your little bare feet into the bathroom (in all probability, an especially essential trip after drinking lots of fluids anyway), and stick that face of yours in the mirror. 

     Er, maybe take care of the fluids first unless the mirror is, well, you know . . . now SMILE into the mirror!  No, not that dorky make-believe grin you give co-workers when they offer you a bite of their meatball sub or the one you save for the neighbor seconds after stepping backwards in your sneakers onto his Saint Bernard’s fresh deposit in your driveway. 

     I’m talking GENUINE smile here.  Go for it!  What’s the worst thing can happen?  Your significant other asks what you’re doing?  Ha!  “I’m smiling.” is all you have to say. 

     Give it your all.  Teeth.  Cheeks.  Eyes.  Something that will burst into a laugh when you actually realize it’s on your own face!  YOW! 

     Man, what a struggle.  You better start doing a lot more of that.  It’s good for you, uses fewer muscles than a frown, and might even make you some new friends!  Hey, a couple of laughs won’t kill you, y’know.  What’s that commercial?  It’s in you.  Do it.  HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!        

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Open Minds Open Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Take two talkwalks,

                                         

get a good sleep, and 

                                                                          

call me in the morning!

     A very dear old student friend once told me she got more out of a couple of talkwalks than she did an entire semester of classes, readings, and studies. 

     Over the years I have recommended the practice to many business partners, management teams, marriage partners, close friends and relatives.  Typically the feedback has been of positive results. 

     With just a couple more weeks ’til the beginning of D’FIFTH (Dysfunctional Family Invasions For The Holidays), it seemed like good timing to suggest that the best way to work through relationship problems is by taking a walk together, far (even a block away will do) from the madding crowds, and talking out the issues, the conflicts, one at a time, shoulder to shoulder, without yelling, and without interrupting. 

     Now, admittedly, this may be a little harder to do than just reading it here, especially if you’re used to punching, slapping, kicking, biting, screaming, shooting, stabbing, hair-pulling, and ear-twisting.

     It starts with an invitation to step outside.  No, not like in the old cowboy movie saloon scenes, when a fight was imminent and nobody wanted to end up winning and then have to get hit with a huge bill for damages.  It’s more like, Hey, David, you old brother-in-law son-of-a-gun, you, how about we take a walk around the block and try out these two Cuban cigars I got? 

     Or: Let’s have a talk about that old girlfriend of yours? (or motorcycle?  or fishing pole?)  You get the idea.  Next, especially if David agrees, is to take a series of deep breaths [Click Magazine Articles tab above to see “Are You Breathing?” for 4-step guidance on this], and then to not inhale if you’re doing the cigar thing! 

     Have a three or four point agenda in your head — things that will clear the decks so to speak, level the playing field — junk you’d like to square away with this hardass, but don’t want to end up in a stuffing and cranberry sauce fight right after saying grace.  Y’know? 

     You need a little mental bullet list of subjects you can save up and put out there on the sidewalk in front of you as you do this walk.  Oh, and if you only have wooded trails around, maybe just hoof it around the basement a few laps, particularly if David is an outdoorsy type or has a rifle in his pick-up.

     The idea is to: 1) isolate the key points that are troubling you, 2) explain what you’ve been feeling and thinking about, 3) offer some options you can think of, and 4) ask for comments, ideas, and feedback (sometimes it’s best to set up #4 before beginning with #1.)  Be sure if you need to be critical, to criticise behavior, not the person.  Make a point of not interrupting, and of asking David to do the same, as you explain your thoughts.  Keep taking deep breaths.  Keep walking.  Keep talking.  Keep listening.

     Happy talkwalks!  . . .  Halalpiar 

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My brain is drained. 

My French is fried. 

Thank God this week coming is the last of the last!

     I am SO sick of politics.  I really don’t care anymore about who did what to whom under what circumstances however many years ago.  I resent the 24/7 bombardment of my senses . . . radio, TV, lapel pins, newspapers, bumper stickers, Internet, emails, road signs, telephone calls, even dog bandannas!  AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaakkkKKKKKKK!!

     Enough already!  My brain is drained.  My French is fried.  And into the home stretch, the lies get bigger and the assaults more ruthless. 

     Worst of all, there doesn’t appear to be any let-up until Wednesday morning.  Oh, yeah, we have another three whole days ahead of yelling and screaming and senseless accusations, charges and counter-charges. 

     Why does everything in America have to reduce itself in the Eleventh Hour to a ridiculous free-for-all mixed-martial-arts contest with everyone beating each other to a pulp? 

     What does it accomplish? 

     Who among those of us dumb and dumbers have not yet made up our minds about who to vote for, that some last minute fringe lunatic tidal wave of pronouncements is about to sway? 

     Tell me.  I’m really wondering about this.  How many votes do you think will jump on some bandwagon at the last minute because of some astronomically important statement being made that we’ve never heard before?  How many?  Tell me.

     Here’s what we need, people!  We need a three-day moritorium where no candidate says anything to anybody and no media reports of any candidate or issue are allowed.  We need a three-day retreat of peace and quiet to collect ourselves and our thoughts and allow ourselves to heal and become sane again . . . BEFORE we vote!

     Given the opportunity to stimulate our neurological systems with increased oxygen flow and relax our muscles with increased blood flow by taking lots of deep breaths and long stretches, and by temporarily withdrawing from the franticness and fanaticism of the outside world, WE WILL CAST A BETTER BALLOT!

     Oh, yes, and wouldn’t this fit right in with the lunatic taxation spread-the-wealth fringe element in society that’s focused on all things green and peace-symboled and artsy-craftsy and tree-hugging?  Even those folks would welcome a three-day peace period!  Besides, it might give them cause to reassess the candidates they’ve sold out their faith to.

     So, let’s see . . . how do we do something like this?  We get our elected representatives to introduce legislation.  Right.  I knew something this valuable to us, as human beings, wouldn’t be so simple.  It requires a campaign.  Something like a 24/7 bombardment of radio, TV, lapel pins, newspapers, bumper stickers, Internet, emails, road signs, telephone calls, even dog bandannas!     Halalpiar    

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BULLETIN!  NEWS FLASH!

From the wire services . . . The communications industry has been rocked by the surprise announcement today of a new microchip that developers claim will allow the sending and receiving of text messages simply by thinking of the person with whom a user will want to communicate. 

The bead-sized chip, called “BeeDee” short for BrainDrain(c) was developed after three years of research on chickens. 

BeeDee(c) is embedded in the skull with a simple, minimally-invasive procedure that any family physician will be able to do during an in-office visit.  No anesthesia is necessary. 

The announcement came early this morning from two teenage tech game developers who embarked on the research project as a response to their chronically sore thumbs.  

     Weird news, huh? 

     True?  Naw, at least not yet.  I suppose we couldbe close to something so bizzare actually happening.  Well, okay, maybe not “chickens,” but mice are kind of overused these days.

     What’s the point? 

     In business, as in life, it seems that those who succeed most often are those who expect the unexpected.  Now I’m not advocating endless planning and worrying about what hasn’t yet come (and may never).  I’m simply saying something I’ve said in other ways on different days, that the healthiest physical, mental, and emotional place to be is the same place every good Boy Scout would recommend: PREPARED.  You know that place? 

     No, don’t start getting out your boots, umbrella, parachute and belt-holstered knife.  Not that kind of “prepared” (unless, of course, these kinds of items fit your lifestyle or situation). 

     I’m talking about regular stretching and exercising plus eating and sleeping right to be physically prepared for whatever comes along.  I’m talking about quickly considering “what’s the worst that could happen?” before taking any non-routine action so that at least you’ve thought it out and can respond promptly if necessary. 

     I’m talking about always keeping an open mind when dealing with others and try forcing yourself to listen 80% of the time and talk only 20% of the time. 

     Whoa!  Are you kidding?  Nope.  Try it three times this week and watch what happens!

. . . SO GO WITH THE FLOW!

     Today was one of those days.  I woke up with a smile, a full agenda, and a plan I looked forward to implementing, everything figured out and scheduled on a timeline. 

     But the help I’d planned on never materialized and 42 personalized client news releases weren’t going to get distributed unless I did the grunt work myself.  The best I could do for the first six people I called was leave voicemails.  The dog had bad breath and my shoelace broke.  You get the picture. 

     The whole day was headed down the tubes, but I decided to heed my own advice and “g o   w i t h   t h e   f l o w.” 

     In the softball game I squeezed in at lunchtime, I produced three pitiful infield hits and was safe on an error, but, hey, four times on base for four times up, y’know?  And I scored twice and got 2 RBI’s, but ONLY because I decided to run my butt off from the moment of contact and not give up, and ONLY because instead of cursing and throwing my bat after such feeble hitting, I stood catching my breath and laughing with the first baseman who said he was getting sick of seeing me. 

     In distributing the news releases, I uncovered bad contact information for five key reporters and was able to update the master list.  (The help I didn’t get would not have known this, and releases would have been wasted.) 

     It turned storm-level windy this afternoon, killing plans to cookout, but ending up with some super pasta, and being prompted to notice and repair a beleagured windchime! 

     I could go on, but you already know –as Paul Harvey says– the rest of the story! 

     You’ve been there and done that! 

     So, all this is is (is is is like that that?) a reminder to make the most of everyday as best you can by going with whatever lands on your plate, in your lap or on your shoulders. 

     Being happy and helping others be happy is a whole lot more rewarding (and healthy) than sweeping unexpected events you know where in order to pile drive through your task list.  Of course it helps to have a role model in your life, and I do, which is how I know about “Happy-makers.”  I’m married to one!     

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Think of your neck

                                              

like a garden hose . . .

     Holistic health-based studies show that the emotional stress of future worries (which are not here and now, which makes them fantasy, and which when overdone, will lead to neurosis and anxiety and depression) most often translates to physical headaches.

     The emotional stress of dwelling on past problems (which are over and done with and can’t be changed, and are also not here and now and therefore fantasy, also leading to neurosis and withdrawal and depression) most often translates to physical backaches.

     Shoulder aches and pains relate to emotional feelings of being overburdened with responsibilities.

     Chest ailments, aches and pains, and ultimately heart attacks and lung collapses, and chest congestion problems are linked by direct connection to emotional problems with love relationships.

     Oh, and your neck?  Think of your neck like a garden hose filled with hundreds of thin liquid wires.  Your neck is the main conduit between your brain and your body, carrying millions of instantaneous signals back and forth (from, for example, your eyes, to your brain, to your arm, to your hand and fingers, to your keyboard, and back again). 

     When your brain gets overloaded with too many upsetting emotional thoughts and feelings, it’s like crimping the garden hose.  Signals get jammed.  The clog-up reduces the free flow of blood and oxygen, and you get a stiff neck, which may lead to backaches or stomachaches . . . you get the picture.

     So what’s the bottom line?  Making the most of this knowledge means taking inventory of yourself.  Without some awareness, for instance, of what makes you feel angry or sad or whatever, you are functioning in the “clueless” category and will never be successful at managing your emotional stress in positive, productive ways. 

     Remember the old Schlitz Beer commercial, “You only go around once in life!”  Make it count!    halalpiar

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Note-taking is NOT

just for writers! 

     Well, my writers critique group that meets at 6:45pm will never have to cross the bridge of me being unexpectedly absent due to the nearly pressing need I almost had to have to stay home to watch the 7pm Mets playoff for the National League wildcard slot, so I guess I won’t tell them.  See that?  Some good things come from losing. 

     You probably knew that baseballs, by the way, are rubbed up with mud before every professional game to render them less slippery and allow, especially, the pitcher to get a better grip?  Maybe you didn’t know, though that the “magic mud” that’s used for all pro team baseballs comes from one of two secret swamp locations in New Jersey!  Let’s hope not too many bodies surface while they’re digging in these swamps.

     This makes me wonder what each of us does to get a better grip on ourselves before strolling on stage to face the spotlights of business encounters?  You’ve heard me extoll the virtues of deep breathing a few thousand times, and it IS still the best way to collect your senses, calm down your muscles and make your brain more alert [complete detailed step-by-step at “ARE YOU BREATHING?” under Magazine Articles tab above]. 

•      There are of course other helpful things to think about, like being prepared with notes, and TAKING notes . . . no one is ever too smart or too experienced to excuse her or him self from note-taking!                                                          
•      A pocketpad should be as routine an item to carry as a cellphone, pen, and wristwatch. 
•      Note-taking is not just for writers!  Even the best and most successful mechanics and tech people (and surgeons!) I’ve known jot down information and ideas as they go through their workdays.  How else do you manage to remember all the details of a problem-solution situation after half a dozen telephone, email and walk-in interruptions? 
•      And, in case any of you wiseguy waiters and waitresses with your photographic memories are listening, stop playing show-off games and write the damn orders down; you’ll get bigger tips and make fewer mistakes.    
•      Besides, there’s nothing like flipping over a notebook cover to recite back a quote from someone (whether it’s to flatter or to snare a trap!), and –after all– don’t you like it when someone asks you to repeat something or speak slower so he or she can write it down? 

     Get back in the pen and paper habit:  sentences, phrases, key words, names, places, dates, diagrams, bullet points.  It may surprise you to know that there ARE some things that can’t be text-messaged.  Got that down?     halalpiar

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