Business and personal

courage come in as many

different packages as there

are people on Earth

 To decide to live (personal or business) instead of to die takes courage. Being brave enough to step up conscious effort far surpasses the alternative of choosing to give up, give in, quit. Choosing death (personal or business) takes no inner strength, no conviction, no belief, no sense of self-worth, no guts. Yet both choices have their advocates, don’t they?

~~~~~~~~

I know many who have chosen life over death in spite of suffering:  and they are my heroes —  all of them!

I have unfortunately also known some who have simply chosen to die rather than fight to live and face the reality of their fantasies. We are rarely aware of these poor souls living among us in our work settings, neighborhoods, and families… until they bring us great sadness! 

How –after all— do we assess someone’s gumption? Isn’t gumption a (if not the) key attribute of courage?

Maybe we’re not consciousness-raised enough to tune in to others’ plights, or perhaps it’s just too overwhelming to think about? One need not be a shrink in order to sift through some obvious clues. Great amounts of ongoing, chronic, pain can often be a quit-life sign. Overall failure to adjust attitude or to respond instead of react are others.

Don’t go running around now trying to psychoanalyze your employees and family. Thoughts presented here are simply meant to trigger some awarenesses and prompt some introspection.

Perhaps the biggest and most dramatic difference between those who choose life over death has to do with whether people live most of their lives in the mentally and emotionally unhealthy “then and there” past, or the “if and when” future, vs. the far healthier and happier conscious stability of “here and now” present moment reality. 

Mental and emotional good health –even with physical suffering– means paying attention to and appreciating every present “what’s happening” moment as much of the time as possible. It means authenticity. It means seeing and hearing and responding to what’s right in front of one’s face. It’s Gestalt.

Do past and present ever come into play? Of course. We’re human.

Gestalt thinking and practice recognizes that past and future indulgences have value when they’re managed from the present. Past memories, for instance, can have a great soothing effect and enormous learning value. Future thinking is essential to survival because we must all plan and schedule.

The trick is to constantly work at keeping focused on the here and now. Generally, the more someone has one foot grounded in the existing real time world, the healthier she or he is apt to be, and the better prepared he or she will be to live (and continually choose to live) a rewarding and meaningful, make-a-difference life. 

How to get to the point of maximizing life requires some major letting go of behaviors that may be comfortable in favor of taking new pathways. And that bit of transition and personal growth takes courage.

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Hal@Businessworks.US  

  Open minds open doors. 

 Thanks for visiting.

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

TY, Thank You, THX,

Thanks, Appreciation,

Appreciate, Appreciated,

Appreciative, Grateful,

Gratefulness, Gratified,

Gratification,  tks, Please,

Pls, YW, You’re Welcome!

Have you paid off  your TY IOUs lately? Do you have a list of them? Are they in some order? Which ones are the oldest? To whom do you owe more than one TY? What are they for? What were the circumstances? How long ago exactly was the favor or courtesy or thoughtfulness extended? Might it now be time to clean some of these up?

If you don’t have one, let’s start with a business list, then move on to personal, or vice versa if you prefer. I like to keep a thank you list next to my desk phone, divided into two columns: “Calls” and “Emails.” I add to them during the day between meetings, other emails, and other calls, and cross out the ones I’ve handled as each day passes.

Why? Who Cares? EVERYone cares. Which also answers the question “Why?” Simply put, there can be no better investment of your time and energy for boosting your business and personal reputations. And sales pros will tell you that personal and business reputations built on these courtesies translate directly to sales.

Oh, and let’s not forget that long-lost art of a personal handwritten thank you note stuck in the mail or office inbox. There is NOTHING compares with receiving one of those. And the busier you are, the more impact a note from you has. In other words: The more personal you can make your expression of thanks, the greater the impact!

It’s hard to beat a message that has a little hug hanging on its coattails!

Probably needless to add, but it’s well worth remembering: It’s also FREE, which makes it a no-brainer practice for business owners and operators, and especially for professional practice principals, who are seldom regarded as grateful for their patients and clients! 

Social media subscribers probably use the expressions in this post’s headline more than any other segment of society except Salvation Army Santas. It’s become standard fare Internet ettiquette. It’s the sub-culture of long-distance communications dipped in politeness and exchanged for the world to see, but seldom felt from the heart.

Twitterers send Tweets. If you like the Tweet, you respond mostly with a RE-Tweet (or RT) as a polite form of endorsement. Someone whose Tweet gets an RT, inevitably returns a TY (Thank You) note Tweet to that endorser. That endorser may send (Tweet) yet another note, like YW (You’re Welcome).

It’s said that these kinds of exchanges are all cover-ups for the acknowledged impersonalness of social media communications, that they somehow compensate for handshakes and eye contact and voice tone and inflections. Well, they don’t really. Not much could. But they do set social media cordiality apart from other media forms. 

Anyway, Thank you for visiting. I am truly grateful for the minutes you spent here, and if any of what I said is helpful to you in any way, well . . . YW.

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Hal@Businessworks.US  302.933.0116 

  Open minds open doors. 

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you. 

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Who knew?

You can end up going 

under when you’re

too over-the-top!

The boy who cried wolf… the lady doth protest too much… the sky is falling. Doomsday attitudes breed doom. We become what we think about!  

The more we think it, the more we bring it on. We become what we think about. We all know the type: the doom and gloomer — no matter what we say or do, it’s “poor me!” and “the business can never survive.”

Well, guess what? If that’s what we believe, we can bet our butts that that’s what we’ll get. We become what we think about. Why do we make it so hard on ourselves to unravel the tangled web of negativity that’s wrapped around our brains? We know better, don’t we? I mean this ain’t rocket science. It’s attitude. It’s a choice. We choose it!

So why do we choose negative thoughts and pessimism when we can just as easily choose positive thoughts and optimism? But it’s not “easy” we say. Well, then that too is a choice. We can choose to make it easy. Sounds good, but a whole lot of the problem is that the tangled web is full of then and there and if and when instead of here and now. 

Choosing to focus our minds on the here and now present moment as much as possible throughout the day (and night) is the healthiest place to be — physically (to prevent accidents, mentally (to prevent errors), and emotionally (to be able to respond instead of react!). It’s not possible 100% of the time, but it certainly can be more than it is!

We’ve all seen examples in every walk of life of unlikely people performing majestic feats only because they believed they could. We become what we think about. Believing in our selves, in things, relationships, sales, profits, innovation, productivity, and performance delivers the goods where hard work alone cannot.

I am now writing my second commissioned memoir. Both books are about a believer who has surpassed all odds –including threats at gunpoint– and succeeded by every life’s measure:

Both men believed so hard in what they were doing (and curiously couldn’t have been farther apart in their pursuits — home fabrics and public service for one, driving faith-based reform into the rough and tumble trucking industry for the other) that, without even trying, they put themselves in the right places at the right times and became winners!

Either of these men could have easily quit at any time, and lived a comfortable life, but both believed there was more to it than that. Both believed in service to others. Both had a here and now focus. Both choose prayer and faith as primary tools to nurture and support their belief systems.

Neither ever ventured “over the top”in their words and deeds, or in the ways they treated and respected others — employees, customers, suppliers, advisors, referrers–  and most importantly, their families. They were models of humility, trustworthiness, self-confidence and, though neither would admit it: inspired leadership.

In both cases, the fact that their competitors put their businesses under by talking too much and performing too little proves the point that over the top attitudes can drive business under. 

More on success? No compensation involved, but I heartily recommend Malcolm Gladwell’s book, OUTLIERS. Short. Fascinating. Challenging.

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Hal@Businessworks.US  302.933.0116 

  Open minds open doors. 

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you. 

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

CHANGE is hardly ever a  

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Hal@Businessworks.US  931.854.0474

  Open minds open doors. 

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Do I understand you

  correctly to mean…? 

 Can you give me

an example?

When you’re not 100% sure that you fully understand the meaning and intent of someone’s words, ask paraphrasing-type questions

. . . and ask for examples.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asking these two questions is evidence of quality leadership. Because true leaders listen. Paraphrasing and asking for examples are key indicators of effective listening. The responses clarify. The responses help ensure accurate two-way communications, and they help prevent errors and misunderstandings.

Simply by posing these two questions (plus this one), leaders can help agitated people (e.g., upset employees, irate customers, impatient investors) to jet down. The asking alone serves to build trust, loyalty, teamwork, and promote open innovative exchanges. It also, by the way (but not unimportantly), reassures, flatters, and compliments.   

Used correctly, paraphrasing is equally effective in personal life as well as business. Business partners, employer/employee and parent/child relations, teacher/student, married and unmarried couples and family relationships can all benefit by using paraphrasing.

It is, in effect, a clarification checkpoint practice that works. 

What does “used correctly” mean? Process. Dynamics. The process and dynamics of asking the questions — the how, when, where, and circumstances; the nature of the people involved; the nature of the actions to be taken or tasks to be done– all have a bearing on the value of the outcome. How you ask. Your tone of voice. Your posture.

Yes, some could see this kind of attention to communication detail as a lot of unnecessary work. Those people are choosing to feel threatened by the intrusion of having to expend extra energy and time (yes, it will take more time that “normal” for a meeting or phone call or e-exchange) to get stuff right the first time instead of on a re-visit.

If you’re not presently building these kinds of questions into your daily practice of leadership –business, home, professional practice, community organization, classroom makes no difference– put it to the test. You will find, inside of just three weeks, major improvement at many levels, including increased receptivity.

You can greatly enhance the prospects for yourself to succeed with this challenge by adding note taking to your listening time. If you think it makes people feel good to be asked if you’ve understood something correctly, or to provide an example, wait ’til you see their faces when you start jotting down what they say.

Back to the agitated communicators, when you can also ask someone: “Would you mind please slowing down (or repeating what you just said) so I can make some reminder notes for myself to be sure I don’t miss any of the important things you say, I will appreciate it. Now if I understand you correctly to mean…?” You defuse the upset.

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Hal@Businessworks.US  

  Open minds open doors. 

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Ever notice how the

number “7” is magic??

Well here, entrepreneurs,

is number 8!

With special thanks to www.Twitter.com/RealLifeSecrets for the first 7 one-word “secrets to life” — Listen, Read, Love, Fight, Believe, Live, Pray. You can follow @reallifesecrets for more.  

Okay, so: 3 wishes and 3 kings. But there are SEVEN of everything else — 7 seas, 7 habits, 7 brides, 7/11, John Elway and Mickey Mantle, The “Number of Perfection” in the Bible, so why shouldn’t there be 7 secrets of life? And why should there be anything else besides: 1) Listen, 2) Read, 3) Love, 4) Fight, 5) Believe, 6) Live, and 7) Pray?

Oh, but there is. There’s one more. Can you think of what it might be? I mean, just imagine, if you’ve done all those great seven things consistently, what else could possibly matter? What else could be so powerful? A number 8? Seriously?

We’ve learned that effective managers, salespeople and professionals typically spend 8o% of their interactive time with others: LISTENING. So that first one certainly makes sense. And except maybe for the guy who invented fire, I’ve never heard of anyone becoming truly successful without reading, as much as possible, as often as possible.

Oh, some entrepreneurs may run successful businesses and possibly even successful families without reading, but they probably are not successful with their own physical and/or emotional health. Or they may have great health and successful businesses with no satisfying family life. You get the idea. Listening and Reading are a package deal. 

Love. There’s that word. It reminds me, by the way, to suggest you check out Rob Bell’s vigorously debated new book, LOVE WINS. Besides smashing lots of theories and age-old teachings, it’s a smashing (provocative, quick, and illuminating) read. Love. So craved. So sought after. So misunderstood, So indispensable. So strengthening.

Surely, you can add your own “descriptives,” but suffice it to say that Love is certainly worthy of being one of the magical seven. Then there is “Fight.” A peculiar item on the list? Not really. My college motto in Latin: “Certa Bonum Certamen” (“Fight the good fight”) — ah, yes, in that light of “Standing Tall,” who could find fault?

Believe. Well, without that, there can be little of worth remaining, true? But every true entrepreneur believes in what she or he is doing, so not much need to dwell on this one. Now: Live. This is something only a few entrepreneurs –the successful ones– actually do. Not nightly partying. Daily enjoyment of being alive.

Ah, and then there’s: Pray. If you haven’t in awhile, I recommend you get on with it — more than you think you should. If you already do this, do more. Many of the most successful business owners and managers I’ve known (of thousands) make a point of praying dozens of times each day. Not just requests. Prayers of gratitude.

[Are you thankful for your vision that allows you to read this right now? Room temperature? The chair you’re in? Your last meal? Your next? Your family?]

So you’ve labored through all this just to see what Number 8 is all about. If you haven’t yet figured it out, you won’t be disappointed. It is the one secret of life that’s joined at the hip with all the rest: Be Honest! Nothing speaks higher of your integrity, reputation, intent, and authenticity as a person.

If you seek trust, be trustworthy.  

# # #

Hal@Businessworks.US  931.854.0474

  Open minds open doors.

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

   Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

When you carry a grudge

. . . there’s no room to

carry your business!

The old Dutch proverb and German expression,“Vee grow too soon oldt, und too late shmart” sums up much of why we fail miserably to fully understand and effectively cultivate relationships. Our seeming inability to let go of the angry feelings someone close to us once provoked has toppled many business ventures, even entire empires.

                                                                                       

But, ah, the ability to forgive and forget those who crossed us up is a choice. 

And the consequences of making or not making that forgive-and-forget choice are the differences between:

• Having peace of mind, plus the energy to pursue both business and personal success–because by letting go and moving on, you are marshaling your energy and exercising control of you, captaining your own ship.

VS.

• Suffering a permanent or recurring headache that’s potentially terminal to you and your enterprise– because by holding on, you are wasting energy and choosing to subject yourself (and ultimately your business) to someone else’s control.

Carrying a grudge is

what leadership is not!

Many of us carry more grudges than we are probably conscious of. We keep them in our throats, and they come out as guttural utterances when certain names or circumstances surface. We keep them in little invisible knapsacks in our brains that send a flood of upset feelings into our nervous systems whenever they’re unzipped.

Some people get tight chest muscles (love relationships), tight shoulders (related to responsibility), backaches (associated with memories), stomach flutters, fists, headaches, leg pains, shortness of breath, indigestion, diarrhea, constipation, toothaches . . . it’s called being over-stressed, and it’s debilitating. For an entrepreneur, it can kill.

Ask any cardiologist.

Stress is both physical and emotional. It can be good (like the stress that keeps you sitting up straight in a chair), or bad (DIS-stress!), like the level that produces symptoms such as those in the earlier paragraph. Carrying a grudge, having revengeful feelings, like uncontrollable anger or road rage, can be a self-destruct path of no return.

Recognizing that letting go is a choice may not make doing it any easier, but that –itself– is also a choice. You can choose to make it easier. You can also ease the process by practicing more deep breathing and/or by taking a yoga or meditation program. Doctor-sanctioned serious exercise, like daily jogs and brisk walks can also help.

Think of it this way–

Every minute of your life that’s consumed by harboring angry or frustrated or disappointed feelings about another person (even, and perhaps especially, family!), or entity or event or policy is a minute you will never get back, and it’s a minute that you are choosing for someone or something else to reach inside your brain and control your thoughts.

And you are facilitating that impossibility to happen. After all, no one else can really control what you think and how you behave, except you . . . unless you choose for that to happen.

Now, why would you want to do that?

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Hal@Businessworks.US 

  Open minds open doors.

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

Entrepreneur wake-up call . . .

Stop trying to please

 everyone in the world!

Let’s face it, Entrepreneur: You’re a fire-in-the-belly person, and that’s enough heat for any body; you don’t need heartburn too! You’re in business because you believe in your ideas. You’ve stayed in business during this pathetic excuse for an economy because you want to make your ideas work.

Lately, you’ve been getting yourself caught up in trying to please too many other people, and your ideas are taking a hit. You can’t start a fire with a magnifying glass if you keep moving the magnifying glass. Well, you also need the sun. Maybe that’s why rainforests are not exactly a hotbed of entrepreneurial expression and innovation? 

The suggestion bandied about by leading motivational gurus and schools of entrepreneurship that anyone who starts or owns a business must set the world on fire in order to succeed is totally false. Anyone who seeks to succeed as an entrepreneur must have a burning desire to succeed. Period. Here’s a good translation of that point: 

To Thine Own Self Be True!

                                                                             –Shakespeare          

Once you’ve pleased yourself by getting your business idea off the ground, you need to please your customers, employees, partners and financial backers, in order to get your business idea into orbit. Next, you need to please your community and industry or profession, to stay in forward motion.

Oh, right, and please let’s not forget about your family! Without some kind of strong family support, you’ll never be likely to get past the rough spots you’ll bump into along the way. Now, right there, in those last three sentences–look again! There’s enough to fill the lifetime of any entrepreneur. Isn’t that enough? You’re a masochist?

I mean, if you want to torture yourself, go ahead, but I can’t imagine that you would feel you need to please the Chinese Communists, Mexican drug lords, the White House, al-Qaeda terrorists, Hamas, Hezbollah, the Mafia, Lybian and Cuban dictators, “Gangs of New York” or gruesome novelist Stephen King. Whew! Some list, huh?

So if that’s the case, why do you need to please your in-laws? Your teachers? Your neighbors? The shelf-stocker at Staples (“That was easy!”), your dentist (well, okay we really do need to please our dentists!), but you get the idea. Every time you step outside your inner circles of influence, you risk your ideas losing energy and attention.

Nothing kills an entrepreneurial venture quicker

than trying to be all things to all people.

 Be Your Own Hero!   Reality Rules.

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Hal@Businessworks.US  302.933.0116

  Open minds open doors.

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

July 2, I promised a “SMASHING” small business message tonight 

Well, maybe it won’t  

 smash you, but if you run

a busy business . . . this

will make you think!

If it’s as true as piles of pundits, preachers, parsons, pastors, pioneers, and philosophers proclaim, [Alliteration trophy, here I come!] that all of life –yes, ALL of life (including how you handle your business) is simply preparation for death . . . are you ready?

Let me guess: you’re too busy living to think about death right now, eh? Or you’re one of those young,  indestructible types who just refuse to believe death is even possible or worth considering until you’re 89?

Hey, good for you. Either of those may be as honest an answer as you’re capable of mustering at the moment.

I mean, after all, unless you’re a last-will-and-testament lawyer, an estate planner, serial-killer, burial plot salesman, funeral director, or a N.J. Mafia guy, you’re probably not giving much thought to this inevitability on a day-to-day basis. 

Well, don’t let me dampen your holiday-shortened work week, but reality –in case you haven’t looked around lately– the odds are that, recently, someone whose life has been close to yours has died unexpectedly, or will soon.

Maybe a business you know has recently closed down and boarded up. And probably, your own has visited some shaky ground sometime over the past couple of years.

How do you get ready for something you don’t want to think about? In all likelihood, the best way to do this is to ask yourself some hard self-assessment questions that you surely have the answers to, and surely are able to change outcomes any time you choose. Try the following for starters, and add your own in the process:

• Have you done a good job with yourself? With others? With your business?

• Have you and your business helped others?

• Do you make someone happy every day?

• Do you stand up for what’s right?

• Are you tolerant of other’s opinions?

• Do you take your business practices beyond good customer service and good employee relations?

• Do you respect and act gracious to every person you encounter every day, regardless of her or his appearance, behavior, influence or apparent socio-economic or educational status?

• Are you setting examples for others to follow on the job, and off?

• How will others remember and define you?

Like the necessity (no matter what your age and assets) for formalizing and maintaining an updated written will, the questions above only take on great value and deep meaning when you take the time and trouble to write down your answers to each on paper, and then periodically review them for progress and adjustments.

How else can you know if you’re truly making the most of your time on Earth if you have no frame of reference to draw from, explore, adjust and upgrade? Your written records of you empower your productivity. 

Until such time as you may be judged, you are your own best judge.

To thine own self be true! 

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Hal@Businessworks.US  302.933.0116

  Open minds open doors.

 Thanks for visiting and God bless you.

  Make today a GREAT day for someone! 

The Second Civil War

is coming:

Obama’s left-wing, 

liberal socialists

vs. thirty million

US small businesses.

Happy Birthday America!

_____________

As we celebrate our “E Pluribus Unim” and “In God We Trust” heritage, as we pause to value the freedom that comes–as Thomas Jefferson said–at the price of eternal vigilance, we need also to take stock in the reality that for nearly three years, we the people have been trapped and sold up the river, by none other than our own President.

Mr. Obama has dishonored us, disowned us, and disengaged himself from the job he was elected to do, and –in the process– has triggered us into The Second Civil War, this one between big government and small business! 

Mr. Obama has disgraced and spit on the entire (30-million strong) universe of small business enterprises and on the entrepreneurial spirit that made America great to start with, the very spirit that allowed him to be elected in the first place . . . the very spirit he should be nurturing and rewarding with tax benefits for innovation and job creation.

Small business tax benefits for innovation and job creation remain the only viable key to economic recovery yet, at every turn, the White House arrogantly insists on doing the exact opposite.

Small business innovation and job creation tax benefits remain –after more than three years of harping on it in this blog– the only REAL solution to our still plummeting economy.

It is hard to imagine, when truck drivers and supermarket clerks and burger flippers and barbers and plumbers and roofers and accountants and doctors ALL see that this is true, how the White House can be so adamant.

By obsessively over-taxing and over-regulating small business

–AND by continually berating and discrediting the leadership of the Senate, the Congress, the Supreme Court, and our military–

Mr. Obama is simply demonstrating transference (ask any psychologist) of his own inadequacies and his own complete lack of leadership.

                                                               

Being tangled up in one’s underwear is not the way to move forward.

As we celebrate this second most important day in America’s calendar — second only to the birth of Christ — let us pray in thankfulness for all that we have achieved as a nation, all that we in small business have achieved in industry and technology and humanity.

Let us be thankful too for our entrepreneurial global leadership and enlightenment (until and in spite of the current White House).

And let us also pray

. . . that we overcome The Obama Depression, that we survive and thrive once more, that we the 30 million of us join together in purpose on November 6, 2012, to turn the tide, and begin to restore our battered economy and rapidly eroding stature as leader of the free world. Use your business clout to make a difference. Start now. 

STAND PROUD IN TROUBLED WATERS.

WORK HARD TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” 

[Thomas Jefferson] 

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Hal@Businessworks.US  302.933.0116

 Open minds open doors.

Thanks for visiting. God Bless You.

God Bless America and America’s Troops.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!