We do best what

                                                      

 we most enjoy! 

     Whoa, let’s not get too heavy duty here, what’s this perfectionist stuff all about?  Well, I’ve been thinking about the fact that perfectionism is not a state of existence as much as it is an ongoing pursuit of a state of existence.  No one, we’ve heard since birth, is perfect.  Some of us, though (actually, many of us, I believe) strive to be perfect at something, perhaps many things.  But perfectionists are not perfect!

     Perfectionism is a never-ending, daily striving effort for every serious writer.  Revising revisions.  Rewriting writing.  Rephrasing phrases.  Rechoosing word choices.  Repunctuating punctuation.  It can feel ike a freight train with never-ending tracks for some.  For me, it’s fun, exciting, challenging, and invigorating to write something and keep writing to make it better.  Knowing when to stop can be the issue.

     My wife, God love her, strives every day to be the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker and the perfect entrepreneur as she grows her own business.  She is all of those things and more to me and to others around her.  My daughter is a perfectionist theatre director/producer and has more than earned the perfect wife and mother status she strives for day after day with my son-in-law and three beautiful grandchildren.  My son-in-law is a smashing success business perfectionist who started in a converted closet of a tiny New York City apartment with just a phone, computer, and lightbulb!  My son is a perfectionist musician and talented cinematic composer.  He wasn’t born that way; and it’s been a struggle to reach his star, but he’s closing in on it.  We each choose a channel that we most enjoy and follow and chase it with conviction and energy at every opportunity.

     The pursuit of perfection is the lifeblood of every career and, actually, every existence.  We do best what we most enjoy!  If you have lost the drive, the meaning or the energy for the work you’re doing, revise, rewrite, rephrase, rechoose, repunctuate your thinking about it.  You may simply have outgrown the job.  Have the challenges that once attracted you become routine?  Are you so bored with the tasks and/or people you deal with that watching soap operas seems exciting? 

     Shake your booty!  Rattle your cage!  Try doing your daily routines differently.  How does it feel to brush your teeth (or your hair) with the brush in your other hand?  Put your wallet (or cellphone) in a different pocket.  How does it feel to drive a different route to or from work?  Or get up early enough to go watch the sunrise?  Just try it.  Just once.  See what happens. 

     Write it down (even if you’re not a writer).  Just once.  See how you feel about what you write.  Step back from yourself and where you’ve been heading.  Is it really where you want to be going?  Have you lost touch with what was your original motivation? 

     Can you shift gears and move into a new area of responsibility or a new physical location or a new organization . . . or take the risk of trying a new career or a new life doing something you enjoy more?  You can’t make that kind of decision without first evaluating where you are and looking carefully at the alternatives.  Go for it!             halalpiar   

Softalls are NOT soft!  

     Yesterday’s end-of-the-season playoff tournament has me feeling a little achy-breaky as I write today’s blog post . . . four baking-hot-weather games in a row at second base (won two and lost two, with just enough time for a bottle of water between contests and dragging myself back onto the infield). 

     Yes, it’s senior softball, but y’know what?  We who play think we are still 17 (or 27, or 37. or 47. or . . . ) and play with less fear than we did in high school and college, or in some cases, the minor leagues (which doesn’t always bode well for worrisome spouses, but which is part of sports machismo no matter what age you are). 

     In addition to softball players (senior OR junior) not being soft, the other thing that you should know is that softballs are NOT soft!  In fact, they’re as hard as baseballs, just bigger.  And when they’re hit, they can travel just as fast as baseballs (especially on much smaller, closer infields than those used in baseball).  Okay, so you think I’m leading up to ticking off all the reasons why senior softball players deserve respect and admiration? 

     Well, it would be nice to have passerby throw themselves down at my feet in the supermarket aisle, neighborhood restaurant or optometrist’s office, but the truth is that I’m good but not great at second base; yesterday in fact, I screwed up at least three easy doubleplays, and then only managed a couple of hits each game.  But I had fun! 

     So what’s the point?  Actually, the subject raises a few points to consider as you go forward with your business or career ambitions or writing pursuits:

1) When you over-do it, you’re going to end up tired, and not performing as well as you’re capable of.  Pace yourself, and keep your goals reasonable and realistic.

                                                                                                      

2) Age truly has no bearing on effort!  In fact, it’s also been my experience that –given a task to complete– seniors have more stick-to-itive-ness than juniors.  These attributes may be worth keeping in mind if and when you’re in a position to hire.

                                                                                

3) Like sideview mirrors that caution: Images may be closer than they appear to be . . . and softballs not being what they appear to be in terms of hardness or how fast they can travel (and how much they can hurt when you miss catching them!), business and career and writing situations are rarely if ever exactly as they appear to be on first encounter.  Be cautious, skeptical, realistic, forgiving, yet objective and practical when assessing initial options, resources, and opportunities.

                                                                                   

4) Keep yourself humble and honest.  It will come back to you when you least expect it (just as it will if you don’t!). 

                                                                               

5) Unless you’re a hermit or The Lone Ranger, every business, professional and life pursuit involves teamwork.  Even Tiger Woods needs a savvy trainer and caddie to depend on! 

                                                                             

Whatever you do or don’t do impacts others.  Staying focused on helping others to help themselves to help you get your job done is what leadership is all about.

 So go get your glove, get in the game, and remember to be a team player!

halalpiar   

Give the gay guy a token lisp.

Give the stutterer 

token stutters. 

Give the mobster 

token toughtalk. 

     A most amazing thing happens when you’re a “nosey” novelist, playwrite or film script writer and eavesdrop on discussions around you . . . pay close attention to not only what others say, but the way that they say what they say: 

You end up writing better dialogue! 

     A video tape recording is probably the best way to capture the nuances of HOW words and observations and feelings are communicated, but not a whole lot of people will be receptive to being filmed as they engage in real life conversations.  An audio tape is easier and quicker (though probably illegal; so, be careful!), and can accomplish almost as much if you can accompany the recording with some observation notes that report accompanying facial expressions and body language.

     As for words and their delivery, depending on set and setting, people might say:

“Well, all that I am trying to say about this situation is that these are my observations,” OR “Alls I’m sayin’s that thisiz the way I seenit!” 

     The response might be:

“Well, that’s a distinct possibility, but the impression I have is diametrically opposed to that,” OR “Yeah, well that’snot anywheresnear thepresshun Igot!”

     The question as a writer is  how far do you go with offbeat dialogues and deliveries? 

     The answer has to do with how integral the offbeat character is to the story, and how little you can interject into the character’s speech and mannerisms and word use to be able to set up what the character is all about . . . without overkilling dialects and intentional misspellings and word usage and emphasis. 

     Even exciting characters will bore readers if character behaviors and presentation styles are overdone.  Examine where you can cut back on the accents or dialects without losing the flavor of the character. 

     Give the stutterer token stutters.  Give the mobster token toughtalk.  Give the gay guy a token lisp.  The character and your intents will have more impact and will be more engaging to readers.  Consider your own tolerance levels for listening to someone stutter or lisp every third or fourth word.  How many times will you feel endearment toward a “Youse guys” talker whose streetsmarts toughtalk is nonstop?            

     When you record real dialogue between real people—and study it, replay it, make notes about it—you will begin to get a better, more realistic feel for better ways to write dialogue.  When you can write words that your characters say to each other in ways that sound (and read) like real people talk, and strike a balance to avoid character overkill, you will be well on your way to writing meaningful conversations that support your story rather than detract from it.               halalpiar

A BOOSTER ROCKET

IN YOUR POCKET! 

     What a breath of fresh air some people bring along with them (instead of baggage) when they come into a new setting.  I remember the electrical charge that accompanied student interns who came to work with me in my early days as a professor.  Bright, young, eager faces with spunky “let’s-try-this-instead-of-talking-about-it” attitudes. 

     I knew in my heart that these inexperienced young people were mostly wrong in their expectations, but I always acted receptive and challenging anyway.  You know what happened?  Being open-minded to their naivety was like putting booster rockets in their pockets!  The result –more often than not– was that the energy and enthusiasm each brought to the task was enough to put some less-than-realistic ideas over the top, and make them work. 

OPEN MINDS OPEN DOORS!

     Speaking of “over the top,” I’ve had some maverick neighbors, business partners, and clients who give that expression its definitive clout.  People who could never be held back from pursuing what they believed in, even when others around them were convinced that their parachutes (if not their heads!) had holes in them. 

     And guess what?  The less open-minded that those who surrounded these outspoken, step-up-to-the-plate people would act, the less likely that innovative thinking would ever surface in that neighborhood, business or relationship.  In fact, the over-the-top folks would simply skip merrily off to another more receptive neighborhood, business or relationship. 

     Worst of all, those who were affronted by the “outlandish” thinking and behaviors would quickly retreat to their closets, satisfied at having invested (though often unhappily) in maintaining –actually cultivating– the status quo.  It’s hard to imagine feeling so threatened in life that investing in stagnation produces some sense of security. 

On the job or in the neighborhood, stagnation is as stifling, burdensome and nonproductive a death-watch as are unrealistic attempts –nationally– to impose change based on hope. 

     Perhaps these approaches work for some neighborhoods, some businesses and some relationships, but — at a world leadership level– there’s positively no place on this volatile planet for anything less than fresh, innovative thinking balanced by the wisdom of great on-the-job strategic management experience. 

Welcome Sarah Palin!                          

halalpiar   

Frazzled, fried, spent,

barraged, bombarded,

swamped, woofed, beat,

deluged, crunched,

overwhelmed, whipped,

bent, buried, bashed,

crashed… familiar? 

Well, if you’re feeling like that and you’re not deep breathing, stop here and  click “ARE YOU BREATHING?” I guarantee it will help.  If you’re already breathing (or after you read the article’s step-by-step, and begin to), take a minute to inventory your frazzled self and decide if your lack of prioritizing tasks is your underlying problem.

     Do you keep lists?  Everyday?  [Making a list the night before works best for most people,; it allows you to charge right into it the next morning; of course night shift people . . .]  Does your list say things like: Revise corporate procedures manual, or Clean up the house, or Write new business plan, or Solicit literary agents?  THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW! 

     If you’re going to use a list, and you should if you’re headed down stress highway, it needs to be CHUNKED UP!  Clean up the house can be like painting the Washington Bridge; it never ends, and you will never have any sense of accomplishment or relief!   

     Bathroom: Clean the floor; clean sinks; clean toilet; towels to laundry; replace used soap.  Bedroom: Change sheets and pillowcases; turn mattress; vacuum; repair lampshade; reorganize sock drawer.  You get the idea.  PUT A DATE ON THE TOP OF EVERY LIST!  Assign every item on your list a * or ** or *** (or 1,2,or3) priority based on the amount of immediacy required.

     A corporate procedures manual, a new business plan and solicitation of literary agents are all complex projects with many pieces.  Like the homemaker above, break your list into pieces. 

     Every task that’s done earns a single colored ink line through it (so you know what’s been done, but you can still see what you did).  Leave margin areas for notes.  When you “Call the lawyer (or the shrink) and no one answers, put a colored check mark next to the list item (only cross out what’s done!). 

     Understand from the outset that all of life is one big interruption so you need to expect that there will be many along the way and those should be added to the end of your list (and crossed out as they’re attacked) so at the end of the day, you don’t feel like a schlunk because you never got through  the first five items after 27 interruptions crashed your party.  You need to be able to see what’s going on with your daily life pursuits and what–exactly– you are getting done.      

     Oh, and here’s the hot button:  Everytime you cross off a completed task, treat yourself!  Close your eyes, stretch and take a couple of deep breaths; go get youself a chocolate chip cookie or (better) a piece of fruit; take a brisk (or leisurely) walk around the block (the house, the office); put your feet up for two minutes; get a cup of tea or coffee . . . when you reward yourself, you’ll get more done and enjoy yourself more in the process.   Still spent?  Take a vacation.     

# # #

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Many thanks for your visit and God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

  Talking about spam? 

  No, literary agents! 

     Over-the-top literary agents who see themselves as the darlings of cyberspace. 

     As many of us are aware by now, the publishing world moves about as fast as window putty in Northern Maine in the middle of the winter. 

     So, the newbee young upstart literary agents who’ve been raised on instant gratification, joysticks, You Tube, and Google ask, “What’s the solution?” 

     And then, of course, they answer themselves:  

     “Why, I do believe we can speed up the industry by throwing off all those dusty layers of traditional snail mail manuscript and query submissions by urging all those poor slobs who’ve been writing their butts off for years (and who are finally now readying themselves to submit their little teaser sales pitches to get an agent to sell their work to a publisher) to . . . wait’ll you hear how great this idea is . . . to . . . to USE EMAIL!” 

     “Wow!  Howcum no one ever thought of that before?  What a beautiful thing.  We can even justify it as a commitment to going green with all the paper we’ll save (not to mention all the postage!)  Other yuppies will love us.  All we have to do is get people to send us their teaser/query letters, and synopses, and chapter outlines, and manuscripts by email.  Of course we can’t accept attachments; somebody might put w h i t e   p o w d e r [shudder!] in one.  Well, getting these dumb writers to buy into that should be a piece of cake!”

     “Yeah, a really heart-stopping idea you’ve got there.  And y’know what else?  When somebody sends us something now, we can just eat it or delete it!” 

     “Yo!  Writer!  You send me a query letter that you’ve probably only spent a couple of hours composing and getting it into acceptable email format (add another half-hour if you’re over 50), and I –the great and all-powerful OZ– can zip you back an instantaneous rejection.  I can even arrange for an automated rejection response for when I’m busy.  Whew!  I’m so relieved; no more piles of paper on my desk; I just have to whisk through my emails and delete them, or zap off my automated:

Thank you for your recent letter of eleven seconds ago.  I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for your work.  However, opinions vary considerably in this business, and I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation.  Best wishes, Agent Smagent”

     You think I’m kidding?  I recently got back two automated rejection emails (responding to query letters I labored over for a good part of the day) in less than one minute from having sent my proposals . . . not even enough time to read what I had written, never mind consider it!  Oh, and did I mention my originals went out after midnight on a Sunday? 

     Well those two exchanges had to be oddities, you say.  I wish.  Late last night, Labor Day weekend mind you, I had the same experience again with an agent I tracked and respected and got a rejection reply within eight minutes.  Given that it took longer than a full minute, he, at least, might actually have read some of my message.  (His terse comments did make note of the eleventh word in my first line, so who knows?)  

     It’s not being turned down; writers are thick-skinned.  The point is that today’s speedly little email literary agents need to know how utterly disheartening it is to have instant rejection to a well thought-out, personalized, neatly presented, courteous proposal that has taken an hour or more–probably more– to write, and which of course represents untold hours of struggle and sacrifice (in my case, seven years!) writing the work that’s being represented. 

     I’m going back to sending snail mail submissions to agents who at least APPEAR to be willing to read more than half of my first sentence.         halalpiar        

What’s missing? 

I m a g i n a t i o n ! 

     I recently saw a beautiful old brick school building in Connecticut, white columns in front, lots of fresh-cut grss outdoor playspace, and in seemingly good repair.  It was empty.  It had been empty, it turns out, for a few years!  Apparently no one has been able to think of the property as anything but a school.

     A huge, upscale corporate center I visited last week in Annapolis, anchored by an ultra high-class (tuxedo-clad lobby employees) hotel, a worldclass famous restaurant, and a massive street-level storefront space, long empty. 

     [Adjacent to all this, by the way, is a millionaire’s condo building with an over-the-top fountain courtyard and fancy sales office signs (because there are so many units unfilled) that led me to the basement garage, then to a brick wall.  Even if I wanted to scarf up a unit for cash, I would never have found the place to pay!  (Maybe you’re supposed to just leave a check next to the wall?)] 

     I went to a restaurant in Delaware last night in a beautiful waterfront location . . . umbrella-spiked outdoor cafe tables overlooking moonglow-shimmering ripples that splash softly against the rocks nearby.  The worst, deep-fried fastfood meals your stomach would ever want to see, taste or touch.  Thankfully, I was in great company.

     What’s missing from all these places?  Imagination.  How hard is it to market the school as a restaurant, or small shopping mall — antiques?  crafts? — or a fitness facility, a manufacturing operation, even a potentially remarkable B&B?

     Hey, Annapolis is Annapolis, but that outstanding space would make a great art gallery, office center, even a still-viable incubation facility for entrepreneurial development — remember those?

     The waterfront restaurant?  Jeeze, ANYthing with decent food –plain OR fancy– would be a major improvement, and make a ton of money!

     It really doesn’t take a nuclear science degree to make better use of spaces like these.  It takes imagination.  Come back to visit again this week, and you’ll get some FREE first hand, front line coaching.  Maybe I should have gone into real estate development?  Well, not just now.  Maybe AFTER the election?        halalpiar       

WHO MOST INFLUENCED YOU AS A WRITER? 

     As an assistant executive at the world’s biggest, best-known Madison Avenue ad agency, using powder in my hair to look older (and now bootblack in what hair I have left to look younger!), I met Mike.  He was a prominent 18 years-older VP/Creative Director who liked that I hustled, told the truth, was sincere, and motivated (with three infant mouths to feed) . . . all slim-pickin’ character traits (and family circumstances) in that business, where most people pretended to hustle, pretended to tell the truth and rarely had family ties.

     Mike took months of hours to teach me about high-impact words and the creative process.  He gave me secret assignments as a moonlighting writer and helped me crank out award-winning advertising copy — from airline billboards, tire ads, and a still-famous hot dog jingle, to radio scripts and TV storyboards for bacon and eggs, brochures for washers and dryers, you name it!

     Mike taught me the four most important words every writer needs to hear.  “It’s not good enough!”  I remember him saying this, then smiling over the tops of his reading glasses.  His challenge always produced better work.  He made me write a billboard first for every assignment (“seven words or less—with a beginning, middle, an end, and be persuasive!”)  Many years later, I still start every book, article, ad, website, brochure, script, jingle, blog post, email, and personal letter, with a billboard.  “Forced encapsulation” I call it. 

     When I moved on to another ad agency, I arranged to have a NYC parking meter delivered to Mike with a note attached:  “Thanks for the time!” and told him I’d get him a floor stand for it, which I never remembered to do.  Decades later, a copy of his one and only novel arrived one day in the mail inscribed “Where the hell’s my parking meter stand? All my best – Mike”

     Thanks for listening!  And thanks, Mike Slosberg . . . wherever you are!               halalpiar

“You stupid *%~#&^<!!! 

     What the hell’s the matter with you?  Can’t you do anything right?  I gave you this paperwork to get done a week ago!  Your brother’s just like you, the lazy #$%^.  This– PLUS you being late everyday– is gonna cost someone a job here, and it ain’t gonna be me!  I should just punch your face in!”    

     “Oh, yeah!  Well, I got news for you, @&&#%>*!  I got more brains under my fingernail than you’ve got in your whole body!  Just who do you think you are anyway?”

     “I’ll show you who I am, >%$#*~~!”

     Fists fly.  Blood spurts.  Injuries.  Police.  Ambulance.  Jeeze, and it started out to be such a nice day!

STOP!

     Let’s look at a better response (instead of reacting!):  first, take a deep breath; second, paraphrase in your own words what you think you heard and then separate and sort out the issues and pieces.  (People who are upset will bunch together a whole string of complaints and throw them all out at once in a verbal bombardment.) 

     Try instead:

     “Whoa!  If I understand you correctly, you are feeling upset about a number of things, including past-due paperwork, my brother’s laziness, me being constantly late, and concerns about job security?  You may be right.  But if you’ll just give me a chance to explain my side of it, you may find a better solution than punching me or having me fired.  Will that be okay, to talk these points with you?  You can always swing away later if you don’t like what I have to say.  Fair enough? [If you don’t get a go-ahead, restate it all over again, slowly and calmly and sincerely; look him in the face, but don’t scowl or glare!]

     “I have to confess that I misplaced the paperwork last week when you asked me to drop what I was doing to help you with that last-minute shipment.  I was so tired after that, that when I got home, I just forgot about the papers.  I’m sorry.  I’ll do them immediately. 

     “I can’t help that my brother gives you the impression he’s lazy, and I can’t speak for him, but I think if you’re not pleased with his effort, he needs to hear that from you directly.  

     “I am late everyday because months ago, you asked me to stop at the post office box on the way in.  I can come in here first and then go back out if you like; whatever you want. 

     “I don’t want to put either of our jobs in jeopardy, and I will do whatever you ask to make sure there’s no chance of that.  

     In other words, use deep breathing to control your emotions, speak calmly, rationally and be as accommodating as possible without sounding patronizing.  To “pull the fuse out” of the explosives, be persistently “adult” and objective and unemotional in your responses. 

     Take each complaint one at a time and offer a solution (or ask for clarification if the points are muddy).  Maybe, you’ll still get punched in the face, but probably not as hard as it might have been with the initial threat!  And, hey!  You might work your way out of the mess and even end up on good terms.       halalpiar 

     Here!  Take this!  It’s free! 

     Honest!

     Yeah, right.  Listen, I know about that no such thing as a free lunch thing.  Nuttin’s “free,” anymore, baby!  Or maybe you got one a those hidden camera deals goin’ on?

     Serious.  Would you like a weird experience?  Try giving away something of value for free, and watch what happens.  Walk into a dozen businesses and offer the boss something of value for free . . . no strings attached . . . no gimmicks.  Offer something that’s really good for the business to have, something that will make them look good to their customers, something that will enhance their reputation.

     Maybe a couple of hundred free business cards, or a free display rack, or free flowers, or 50 free copies of a gorgeous, 80-page, regional magazine with genuine cultural substance, and upscale content and format treatments . . . a publication the business can turn around and give customers for free, even affix a “Compliments of ____” sticker to the covers.

     Really!  Do it.  Give it a try.  See what happens.  You’ll be amazed.  Some will of course accept what you give away, but odds are that most will look at you like you just landed on a spaceship from Pluto.  Very few (perhaps none) will trust you.  You must after all, be up to something!

     I tried getting an okay to allow some high traffic area businesses take on a beautiful, richly written and photographed, quarterly magazine for free that they could distribute for free to key customers and enhance their own reputation for quality goods and services by association, and for exceptional customer service simply by giving it out!

     “Oh, I don’t know.  I think I’ll have to ask our management team for approval.” — A Hospital 

                                                                       

     “What’s the trick?” — A Bank

                                                                        

     “Call back next week.  I’ll have to read the whole thing first, then check with the boss, who will also want a week or two to decide.  Actually call back next month.” — A Restaurant

                                                                   

     “Not right now.  We’re having some internal problems right now.  We’re tring to figure out ways to help improve customer relations.  Maybe some other time.”  — A Hotel

                                                                                   

     “You’ll have to get an okay from the president and he’s out of town right now for two weeks, and there’s no assistant or anything to make these decisions ’til he’s back.” — A Manufacturing Company

                                                                                         

     “I’ll submit the proposal for you to the director, but she will have to go to the VP and the VP needs to clear it with our advisory board.  Try back in six weeks.” — A Professional Sports Facility

     What’s happening here?  I don’t think I look like a terrorist.  I smiled and asked very politely.  Are nuclear science formulae involved in the decision?  Or are we becoming so suspicious and cynical a society that we can’t believe anything could possibly be free anymore?  Have you ever had an experience like this?  Tell me your “take” on this.        halalpiar