Okay, literary types

(and all other friends and visitors who

happened to have stumbled on this post today) –

Here’s the first paragraph of my work-in-progress, as submitted today to Curtis Brown Literary Agent Nathan Bransford for consideration in his unofficial first paragraph of works-in-progress contest.  Please tell me YOUR response! 

Please be straightforward, honest, and bare-knuckled.  Does this sound like a book you would consider purchasing?  Why or why not?

She’s the only one who knows the professor’s been mobster-muscled into this impossible middle-of-the-night task. As he trudges through freezing desolate winter wetlands mud and drizzle in search of a hundred-pound dead turtle, she paces. She’ll work on it with him once he finds it and brings it back, but for now, Maddigan is on his own. He must trek through miles of slop to locate the corpse that’s anchored into the mud and ice-slick weeds at some vaguely calibrated point aligned with a corona-enwreathed Atlantic City skyline he can scarcely see. Once he’s there, and pulls it from the sucking mud, hefts it to his shoulder, and lugs it back to the Jeep, he must get it home.  He knows JP will then be waiting —with hatchet, knives and crowbar— to help him find the embedded microchip.”

  

Thank you! Hal

See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 93 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

This is the time

  between waves. 

     Have you ever noticed the utter serenity of the sea in between waves? 

     How much is that like your life and the work you do? 

     Thanksgiving visits and family were here in a tidal wave (perhaps more like a tsunami for some), and gone . . . tiny stones and shells aclatter, scamper down the beach in withdrawal as the tide turns low. 

     Business activity slows incrementally to more of a crawl each day between now and New Year’s when it all grinds to a halt.  Ah, but not for entrepreneurs or manufacturers!  Not for writers!  Not for retailers!  Not for emergency personnel!  Not for those forced out of work by economic uncertainty.   

     This is the time between waves. 

     Now is when small business owners and operators and manufacturing enterprise management can finally take a breather from the year-long pounding of phones, faxes, mail deliveries, media broadcasts, meetings, conferences, emails, text messages, trade shows, endless travel itineraries, and industry reports, and get some real work done.

     Now is when their attentions shift to strategizing, planning, scheduling, catch-up reading, assessing, courtesy-calling, audits and inventories, and getting ready for the next big wave in January. 

     Writers?  Yup!  Now is when writers can drop back from their day-to-day discipline and actually review what they’ve done; this time between waves is the perfect time to edit and polish and prepare to get the manuscript or feature story done, to get an agent, get a publisher, get a direction for developing more freelance work. 

     Retailers?  Let’s not even go there.  This between waves time is “make it or break it.”  No time even to think. 

     Emergency personnel?  We all know that emergencies never stop and, if anything, they increase dramatically during the holiday season . . . and afterward, especially during the depression-heightened month of January! 

     So holidays mean relaxing business ebbs for some, and ulcerous anxieties for others.  Where are you right now?  You’re definitely not a retailer or EMT or ER nurse because you’d never have time to read this. 

     So since you are reading this far, it might be useful to remind yourself to make the choice to take full advantage of being between the waves.  It’s easy to get caught up in nonproductive activities, but you won’t get this valuable “down time” back until –maybe– the end of next year!  DO relax, but don’t fade away.        

     If you’re out of work, don’t count yourself out and head for the bridge.  You have the ability to pull yourself back up, kick yourself in the butt (a bit tricky, but not impossible for most!), and propel yourself forward back into the job market. 

     Remember that every problem that a company has is an opportunity for you to find the job that’s right for you, either in that company or another.  Stop beating yourself up.  Get focused.  And go for it!  Make it happen!  You can do it if you really want to.  All behavior is a choice.  Choose to make it easy

# # #

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Hal@Businessworks.US   302.933.0116

Open  Minds  Open  Doors

Make today a GREAT day for someone!

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, crackle-

crackle, POP!, fizzle, HO-HO-

HO, bzzzzzzt, scrape-scrape,

clatter-chatter, ding-dong,

burp, chop-chop, snip-snip,

clink, ZzZzzZzzzz, CRASH!

     IF YOU CAN NAME 10 of the sources of today’s 15 Sounds of the Seasons (Above) and 5 of yesterday’s 10 Sounds of the Seasons (Below) . . . YOU’LL WIN your name in type as big and bold as my post headlines (your choice of colors) PLUS your picture AND an up-to-300-word message from you, posted right here on this site from 12 noon ET New Year’s Eve, 2008, to 12 noon ET New Year’s Day, 2009! 

     Just think, you can New Year’s party your brains out and then  –ZING!–  fling open your laptop and call everyone you know to see your 24 hours of Internet fame, and still have it be there when you sober up the next morning. 

     The perfect way to kick-off the bowl games, propose to your sweetheart (or maybe someone you meet New Year’s Eve!), initiate your first quarter sales program, publicize your Polar Bear Club winter swim schedule, or get your worry list ready for your annual January shrink visits! 

     Imagine the envy and jealousy you can create as your parting shot to 2008.  Think of the hope and positive vibes and well wishes you can send as your welcome message for 2009! 

     If you do a really good job of guessing the Sounds of the Season sources, or if you don’t guess right, but you do it creatively, I will also consider posting your bio (or resume if you’re job hunting — hey, y’never know!).     

     You heard me, even if you guess wrong but do it creatively, you could still win worldwide creative genius acclaim and notoriety, right here in blog city. 

     This site is visited regularly by thousands of people from more than 30 different countries.  We’re not just talking “hits” here; these are quality visitors who stay on this blog site an average of 15-30 minutes each . . . enough time to decide to interview you, hire you, marry you, or just send you cash!

     Here’s your chance to give a sales pitch for yourself, or your business or political or community or organizational cause for FREE. 

     No strings attached.  No one will make sales calls and your email address and name will be kept in a shoebox under my bed — no sales or rentals; no spam; no annoying anything.  That’s a promise. 

     Winners will be notified by email by December 27th, 2008.  I reserve the right to edit any submission for decency, good taste, and overall presentation. 

     GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.  halalpiar    # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 81days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Well, it’s here: Thanksgiving,

and my 200th posting! 

     Now you not may think much of either of those milestones, but suffice it to say about the first of these that I do love turkey (except the species featured in yesterday’s post!), and about the second, that it’s like a baseball player reaching 200 career errors (because I’ve learned something from every post and miscue!).

     Actually, I never thought I’d find anything as challenging and rewarding at the same time as writing a daily blog.  It’s challenging because I rarely know where the inspiration is going to come from ’til I’m staring at the blank screen like a post-surgical labotomy patient.

     And the discipline involved?  I’d rather do push-ups.  The nightly time crunch and rapidly advancing bedtime with a take-out-the-dogs thing sandwiched in between doesn’t do much for my heart rate when all I’ve figured out is some dumb headline that I’ll inevitably scrap and redo anyway.

     I know, it’s welcome to the journalist’s world.  God bless ’em, I really admire the talented few writers who can pump out daily newspaper features that educate, inform and entertain . . . night after night. 

     Anyway, enough of me spamming your brain.  All I really want to say today is thank you. 

     My blog visitors have grown from a weekly count-on-one-hand number seven months ago, to a consistent few hundred-and-growing-steadily every single night. 

     People tell me they laugh and they learn.  Who could ask for more? 

     I am so grateful.  I appreciate every time you stop by and every new person you send along to visit . . . and every laugh.  YOU are my adrenaline. 

     Have a safe, peaceful and happy Thanksgiving wherever you are and who or whomever you’re with.  Thank you Michael Infusino for your skillful, good-natured tech support.  And thanks, Kathy, for always letting me stay glued to my keyboard without complaining when I know I should be doing chores.  I love you!  

     Oh, and remember our troops out there, will you?  Their courage, sacrifices and vigilance make this special day and all the freedoms we enjoy possible.  Thank you.  Hal    

# # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 79 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

SPIT IT OUT,

ON PAPER!

Literally?  Well, not unless it’s a tissue, or maybe a paper towel or napkin.  Figuratively, then?  Hey, you may be bright enough to stay employed after all.  Are you being a wise-guy?  Of course, this is a blog, isn’t it?  So what’s your point? 

     Unless you’re in a high-stress, time-crunch job location like the ER, the battlefield, the deck of an deep sea fishing trawler, an air-traffic control tower, or the floor of the stock exchange, anything that’s important enough for you to say is important enough for you to say in writing. 

[P.S. If you’re a tree-hugger worried about your green reputation going down the tubes because you use too much paper, stop reading here and have a nice day!] 

     Once you get your basic thoughts down, edit them carefully (sleep on them if possible), then deliver them in writing (or printout), on paper (or occasionally, online via email)! 

     Now, wait a minute, I’m just a landscaper; the only paper I handle’s a time sheet, and my brother says his company makes all decisions by email! Ah, all the more reason to carry a pen and pocket pad.  How many times a day are you interrupted?  How much of where you were, do you remember after a series of interruptions?

     Every minute that you spend taking notes on the boss’s instructions and putting your ideas down on paper is an investment in your self-success, and the success of your business.

     You simply won’t believe this until you do it consistently for 60-90 days.  But that time period will make a believer of you. 

     As for your brother’s email-crazed company, and my note earlier that occasionally online communications work, is not a condemnation of email.  It is a warning flag that when you email important ideas, you are suggesting they are not so important because you’ve presented your thoughts in the mad rush, snap decision making “delete/save/file/reply” environment that emails breed. 

     Even when an important communication is carefully constructed and edited, it can fail because it was zipped off without enough attention to proper subject line wording, or careful thought given to the who’s who of Cc’s and Bcc’s, or just because the use of email can give the impression that the contents are not well thought out and have been shot from the hip. 

     Sometimes being more personal is better.  I hand deliver proposals to clients when possible because I can be there to see their faces and judge responses they may not express in an email reply or even a telephone discussion.  

     You can read and hear words in a response, but when you can’t see the facial expressions, the posture and the attitudes involved, you’ve only got half the answer.  How confident would you be of making a sale the customer agrees to while hand signaling or winking derisively to a co-worker as you’re babbling away to them on their speakerphone.  And emails are even more distant.

     Whether you’re a contractor making a mental “punchlist,” a law enforcement officer reconstructing an accident scene, an engineer struggling with an architect‘s lack of reality, an administrative or salesperson working with other’s deadlines and expectations, or a physician explaining a procedure to a patient, put it in writing! 

     By writing out what you observe, hear, think or propose, or by drawing a diagram to explain yourself you are taking giant steps toward improved communications.  Improved communications win job promotions, bonuses, customers, comeraderie, industry and professional attention, and management (and, yes, even family) support.  halalpiar

# # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 77 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Whew!   

Well, let’s see, in just this one single week, for the recap benefit of those who have been kind enough and masochistic enough to visit my bloggerings regularly, we have:

• slept with the boss

• gotten physical, occupational, speech, and psycho therapy

• ordered $100,000 worth of astronaut tools for Christmas

• Read firsthand witness reports of NASCAR-finalist dump truck drivers on the NJ Turnpike, and been outmaneuvered on the road entering downtown Wilmington by two multi-tasking champion bimbettes, and . . . 

• Re-visited the whole outrageous idea of authenticity! 

Whew!  

What more could you ask for? 

And in the middle of it all, we still managed to continue the increasingly infamous 7-word story [See note below the # # # if you’re not familiar with this ongoing challenge to the clever-witted young-at-heart literary community out there, seeking a publishing venue for their talents] 

Now if ever there was an exciting week down in the blogmines (blogmires?), this has to have been it!  I mean where else can you get all that in one fell swoop, so to speak? 

And where does that leave us off for NEXT week?  Well, I could always suggest, for the more automotive-minded among you, to check out the blog site I do for my friends at I.G. Burton car,  truck, and bus Dealerships in Milford and Seaford Delaware. 

It’s http://blog.igburton.com for all the best and latest new and pre-owned Chevrolet, Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Blue Bird Busses to be exact.  In fact, the post before tonight’s for them was offering a FREE MERCEDES!  Now sit there and tell me you could pass this up.  Anyway, see y’all tomorrow with new and exciting stuff!  Off to watch “24”!   halalpiar

# # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 75 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

 TARGET YOUR SPIEL

WITH A DEAL!

     Clients are always asking me about email marketing, and the best ways to approach the copywriting.  Of course, I always tell them to just pay me an extra fee and I’ll take care of it, but with so many do-it-yourselfers around these days, I’ll share the following in the interests of upscaling the quality of the sales email industry. 

     See, and you thought I wasn’t a nice guy!  So, here it is for free: a million dollars worth of commercial writing consulting (assuming it helps you sell a few million what-ever-you-gots!) 

     No matter what your email marketing needs may be, and regardless of what you’re selling, your creative output needs to attack three basic issues that are prompted by three simple questions:

1. What’s the list (your target)?
2. What’s the story (your spiel)?
3. What’s the offer (your deal)?

     In other words, your email must zero in on the right audience with your best answer to the only question each prospect has that really matters: “What’s in it for me?”  Nothing else you say will matter.  You can provide nice little lists of your product or service features, but only benefits will trigger the emotions that will create a sale.

     Now that you know what needs to happen.  So, get ready for the second part of the one-two punch.  Here are three more food-for-thought requirements that need to cornerstone the creative development of the recommended 500-or-fewer-words:

1. The writing must be clear and concise.
2. The writing must feel like someone is talking, not writing. 
3. The writing must ask for the sale early and often, and give prospects as many different ways as possible to buy the product or service.

     Now, these points may sound very authoritative but they are guidelines, not rules.  The 500-or-fewer-words thing, for example, is what many authorities indicate is essential to avoid boring or overkilling your prospect.  Yet some emails of 3000 words or more have been and can be very effective, depending on the circumstances of the list, the story (the nature of the product or service) and the actual offer!          

Halalpiar

# # #  

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 49 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

# # #

P.S.  SPECIAL THANKS to my writers group members Jean Ryan, Harry Banks, and Viviane Philmon for help with my brand new revised bookjacket synopsis! (Click on Literary Agents tab above) 

Too much use of color.  

                                                      

Too much use of color. You can’t be all things to all people. The type sizes are too big. The type sizes are too small.  The blue color on the right is too light. Your manuscript synopsis is too wordy. Delete half the paragraph. The sentences are too long. 

Okay, okay. You’re right! Thank you!

(And stop using exclamation points!) 

Yes, indeedy.

I wrote about being a REwriter the other day, and tonight I was reminded by my wonderful, talented, loving writers critique group that everything I said then is still true a couple of days later.  Does that qualify for a longevity label?  It certainly qualifies for reinforcement of the truth. 

Everything every writer writes is going to end up rewritten if the writer is indeed serious about the process and the intent of her or his writing.  It’s not like you hammer a nail that’s a little crooked, but that serves the purpose of holding pieces together, that you can just overlook the bend without prying it out, and go on to the next nail because nobody will notice it anyhow.  Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.  When you write something, SOMEbody notices EVERYthing.

So instead of a too long, too colorful, too wordy, too exclamation-pointed blog post tonight, I am going to work on my long-overdue-for-REwrite-attention synopsis.  Hey, maybe it will get done by tomorrow, and we can return to my regular blog postings, the ones filled with uproarously provocative commentary.  You remember them?   

Tune in tomorrow.  Same time.  Same channel.  New synopsis.                halalpiar 

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 48 days ago (inside a coffin) that previously appeared at the end of each daily post, that now has it’s own home: Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the lead headline link!

When you sleep on

                                          

your ideas . . . “ 

     “And you, Sir, what do you do for a living?”

     “I’m a rewriter.”

     “A, ah, REwriter, Sir?  Um, a REwriter.  Is that what I understood you to say?  I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of that career.  Do you write about RE’s, as in DO-RE-ME?  Or does this mean you write subject lines for memos where it says RE:?  Ha, Ha, Ha!”

     “Aaaah, yes, that’s very funny!  You must be the same guy who comes up with Letterman’s ‘Top 10’ lists.  No.  Sorry to disappoint you, it’s just that I am tired of lying all these years when people ask me that question, and I answer, writer!  Why?  Because the truth is that I—like every other writer—am a REwriter and that NO writer on Earth is a writer!  All of us are REwriters!“

     How do I know?  Show me one single writer who has ever written anything that she or he has not spent untold hours REwriting!  Go ahead!  Mention just one in the comment box below. 

      I have completed hundreds of articles; a few books; 125 blog posts; over 800 feature radio show scripts, numerous short stories and poems; thousands of ads. websites, news releases, commercials, speeches, business plans, college course curricula, billboards, and matchbook covers. 

     I’ll bet that I’ve spent at least 3-30 hours of REwriting for every 1 hour of writing! 

     Shakespeare REwrote.  Today’s most successful writers: Cormac McCarthy, John Grisholm, J.K. Rawling, David Baldacci, Kent Haruf, E. Annie Proulx, Richard Russo, Dean Koontz, Stephen Cannell, as just a short list of fiction-writer examples, REwrite every page of what we read in final published form as much as 20-30 times PER PAGE! 

     Why?  Because when you “sleep on” your ideas and then return to them a day (or week or month, sometimes years) later, you have lived and experienced so many more hours of life, that you have acquired a more perceptive perspective and improved skill for communicating more clearly than you had when you first rattled out your story or reporting ideas into manuscript format. 

     It’s refinement.  It’s enhancement.  It’s coming up with better word choices.  It’s figuring out better ways to paint verbal pictures.  It’s tweaking.  It’s the key ingredient in the creative process regardless of whether you’re a writer, and artist, a musician, an actor, a photographer, or a craftsperson. 

     It’s taking what you’ve started with and making it better. 

     So, RE-painting, RE-composing and RE-arranging, RE-hearsing, RE-shooting, and RE-crafting are all legitimate avenues that lead to standout performances and exceptional  accomplishments?  ABSOLUTELY! 

     In fact, RE is the ONLY avenue!      halalpiar

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 46 days ago (inside a coffin) that previously appeared at the end of each daily post, that now has it’s own home: Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the lead headline link!

HOW “NEWSWORTHY”

IS YOUR BUSINESS? 

     You’ve probably heard me rant and rave about the greed and minus-zone integrity ratings of media mogul management.  It’s all true.  But, by the way, they have to eat too, and they can’t rely on advertisers alone for the news they report. 

     So, when it’s time to start winning public exposure for your business services or products, it’s time to start thinking and planning a public relations news release program.

     Except for the preparation of releases (research, interviews, and detective work; creative “NEWSWORTHY” writing; printing; clipping; folding; envelope addressing and stuffing; stamping and sealing; and mailing followed by or combined with emails, faxes,  phone calls, and–where possible, personal visits), the resulting publicity is free. 

     But getting it all to work is not easy.  Gaining media coverage of a release you send out takes:

1. Priming the pump, because media people prefer to deal with established businesses that have an established paper trail of prior professionally-written and formatted releases, and
2. Following the (typically unspoken) guidelines to gain editor and/or writer attention, stimulate interest, and bring about action.
3. Following-up tenaciously with a focus on building a working media relationship, and with asking straightforward for the editor’s/writer’s help.

     There are a lot of parts to this fascinating “art” that include making sure that envelopes are addressed and return-addressed in certain ways and stamped with real postage stamps. 

     The release should be no longer than one and a half pages, double-spaced with one-inch borders, not stapled, showing clearly the contact person’s name/phone/email information.  Spelling and punctuation must be as perfect as possible. 

     Fancy paper and ink colors and type sizes get disgarded.  The last page should end with # # # and the release should be folded accordian style so that the headline is the first thing seen as the pages are removed from the envelope. 

     There are probably another hundred or so subtle non-rule rules that will help insure receptivity, but the bottom line is that whatever you send must answer: Who? What? When? Where? How? . . . and it must be NEWSWORTHY. 

     More on this in upcoming posts, including how to handle accompanying newsworthy photos.  If you prefer to not wait and want immediate input, email me at Hal@TheWriterWorks.com or call me at 302.933.0116 and mention this blog post in your subject line or voicemail message.                         halalpiar

__________________________________________

As my computer guru Michael Infusino, who God Bless him for putting up with me, prepares to move this story that’s grown past blog post borders (and has had to be too squished) to it’s own page on this site (you’ll get the details as it happens!), I’m taking a minute to explain the basis for it:

An earlier (archived) post emphasizes the importance of starting ALL writing (literary, commercial, business plan, love letter, whatever) with a 7-words-or-less “billboard” encapsulation that has a beginning, a middle, and an  ending … and is persuasive!  The following story is (for fun and practice) a 7-words-or-less-sentence-or-phrase-added-every-day story.  Be a co-author:  Take your best shot!____________________________________________________ 

BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 41 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

STAR STRETCH by Hal Alpiar, Lois Anderson, and your name here!

TO READ THE DAILY-GROWING STORY AND/OR ADD YOUR OWN 7-WORDS-OR-LESS PHRASE OR SENTENCE CLICK ON THE “BOOKS” TAB ABOVE, THEN ON “7-WORD STORY,” OR SIMPLY CLICK ON THE “7-WORD STORY” LINK IN THE CENTER COLUMN ON THE RIGHT.

                                                                     

TACK ON YOUR OWN 7-WORD SUGGESTION! 

If chosen, your name will appear as co-author!