One candidate wants to “CHANGE” everything.  He obviously misses the point that “Change” is NOT a leadership word! Why? Because . . .

CHANGE is never a good

                                               

thing when somebody else

                                                              

does it TO you.  

                                                                  

     In business, industry, education, government, real estate, banking, food and gas pricing, et al, “CHANGE” is NOT a good thing when somebody else does it TO you.  Change is only meaningful and rewarding when YOU can make it happen for yourSELF. 

     When change is done TO you, it prompts inaction, resistance and excuses.  When you create and deliver change for your SELF, you are more likely to take ownership of the steps involved, and follow the process through more determinedly to make it happen.  

     “Okay, Joe, from now on, you’re going to have to print out, copy, and collate three copies of the daily 75 pages of inventory activity that you were just submitting by email before.  The two new bosses want hard copies, and of course I’ll need one too.  Oh, and you may want to run a fourth as a sort of cover-your-butt set that you can check with if questions arise.”    

     How does that feel compared with: “Joe, the new bosses are interested in seeing your inventory spreadsheets without having to jump around on their computer screens; could you come up with a method that you think might work better for them, something that doesn’t require a lot of your time?” 

     Do you think one of these approaches might serve to motivate more than the other?

     “Gwyneth, I want you to clean up your room right this minute, or you’ll not get dessert after dinner!” OR “Gwyneth, I’m getting concerned about the condition of your room; would you please take some time right now to come up with a way to get it shaped up by dinnertime every night, starting tonight, and let me know your plan when I stop back in ten minutes?”

     Notice the focus is on HOW can a task get done.  NONproductive emphasis is on WHY did you screw up, or on what threats might prompt action, or on implying some level of personal incompetence. 

     When you ask someone WHY? you will only ever get a reason or excuse for an answer.  When you ask HOW? you’re prompting the other person to evaluate, assess, and recommend process steps, without suggesting any personal shortcomings.

     HOW to get others to make changes happen for themselves?  Remember that behavior is always a choice.  You can choose to not react.  If you don’t react, you will never overreact!  You will be more effective in controlling and helping yourself and others to more effectively control behavior and accomplish tasks.  Remember if you need to criticise, criticise behavior, not the person.  And do it in private.  Save the audiences for giving praise! 

STOP trying to CHANGE the

 things others need to choose 

to change for themselves!      

halalpiar

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 37 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

HEY YOU, MUCKFACE!<) 

     Are you stuck in muck, mired in muck, all mucked-up, mucking around, or perhaps you’re a top muckity-muck in your business or organization?  

     I just finished a fun blog post about “muck” for a client at http://blog.igburton.com and that started me thinking about the value of popularizing, and ways to popularize, increased use of this great word.  You know, like substituting it for another more-commonly-used word that sounds like it (um, no, not “luck” or “buck”). 

     For formalized discussion purposes, we may want to know that somewhere between “mu” (the 12th letter of the Greek alphabet) and (ugh!) “mucus,” the Oxford English Dictionary devotes considerable attention to muck and its derivatives.  These include family members “mucky,” muckiness,” “muckle,” “muckraking,” and my personal favorite: “mucker.” 

     Now, I once owned a horse for a couple of years, so I have firsthand knowledge of “mucking out” a stall, which I suppose makes me an ex-mucker?  Anyway, there are better ways to spend a hot humid afternoon.  I even saved the pitchfork to remind myself why not to ever own another horse!    

     The dictionary even digs up “Lady Muck” as a socially pretentious British woman, which gives cause to wonder were the Lady to have children, would she be a mother mucker?

     Now, I don’t want us to go off the deep end here, so let me simply say that “muck” has a probable origin in Scandanavia from a Germanic base meaning “soft.” 

     That’s nice, I think, don’t you?  I mean wouldn’t it serve to soften up all those hard, harsh expressions that use the other similar-sounding word?  Think of a few that of course you’ve never spoken but which you’ve undoubtedly heard, and change the word involved to “muck.” 

     There now, isn’t that better?  Softer?  Just imagine what’s possible.  It could be a whole new political crusade.  Like “A Chicken in Every Pot,” and “The New Deal,” and “The Great Society.”  And now, with your help: “The Softening of Society.”  It would seem like a kinder, gentler life.  All because of muck. 

     Oh, well.  Dream on, you muckers!                            halalpiar    

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 34 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

Interested in boosting your

revenues with better writing? 

Yes, my blog post idea tank is bottomless, but if I don’t squeeze in this little sales pitch/announcement, I may end up a few blog-visitors short (from the wonderful folks who package my teaching these days).  So, without further ado:

     If you own or run a business or professional practice in Delaware or Maryland’s Eastern Shore, and you’re interested in boosting your revenues with better writing, I will be running a 6-session workshop series “BETTER BU$INE$$ WORD$ BOO$T REVENUE$.”

     The focus will be on writing business plan narratives, strategic marketing plans, business emails, letters, memos, reports, and blogs . . . depending on participant interests. 

     Scope of emphasis will address creative writing for marketing, branding, advertising, promotion, sales, customer service and relationship management, and public relations programs for all traditional and nontraditional media applications (from website and email content, to print ads, news releases, broadcast commercials, brochures, billboards, direct mail, and “elevator speeches”). 

     The course is designed for business and professional practice owners, managers, and entrepreneurs who seek to improve their sales messages and strengthen public image. 

     Sessions are scheduled for Wednesday nights, 5:30-8PM, from February 4 through March 11, at the Delaware Tech & Community College campus in Georgetown, DE. 

     If you’re interested in sign-up details, contact Shelley Grabel at 302.855.5905 or email her at sgrabel@dtcc.edu. 

P.S. There are still some openings left in the 4-session Wednesday night workshop course I’m facilitating: IMAGERY WITH WORDS featuring specific how-to’s for writers of all levels (and includes personalized coaching) 11/5-12/3, from 5:30-8PM at The Creative Writing Center in Lewes, DE.  Contact Shelley for sign-up details on this course as well.  Thanks for listening, and thanks for forwarding this info to anyone you think might be interested. 

See you tomorrow with some news about MUCK!     halalpiar

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 33 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

Note-taking is NOT

just for writers! 

     Well, my writers critique group that meets at 6:45pm will never have to cross the bridge of me being unexpectedly absent due to the nearly pressing need I almost had to have to stay home to watch the 7pm Mets playoff for the National League wildcard slot, so I guess I won’t tell them.  See that?  Some good things come from losing. 

     You probably knew that baseballs, by the way, are rubbed up with mud before every professional game to render them less slippery and allow, especially, the pitcher to get a better grip?  Maybe you didn’t know, though that the “magic mud” that’s used for all pro team baseballs comes from one of two secret swamp locations in New Jersey!  Let’s hope not too many bodies surface while they’re digging in these swamps.

     This makes me wonder what each of us does to get a better grip on ourselves before strolling on stage to face the spotlights of business encounters?  You’ve heard me extoll the virtues of deep breathing a few thousand times, and it IS still the best way to collect your senses, calm down your muscles and make your brain more alert [complete detailed step-by-step at “ARE YOU BREATHING?” under Magazine Articles tab above]. 

•      There are of course other helpful things to think about, like being prepared with notes, and TAKING notes . . . no one is ever too smart or too experienced to excuse her or him self from note-taking!                                                          
•      A pocketpad should be as routine an item to carry as a cellphone, pen, and wristwatch. 
•      Note-taking is not just for writers!  Even the best and most successful mechanics and tech people (and surgeons!) I’ve known jot down information and ideas as they go through their workdays.  How else do you manage to remember all the details of a problem-solution situation after half a dozen telephone, email and walk-in interruptions? 
•      And, in case any of you wiseguy waiters and waitresses with your photographic memories are listening, stop playing show-off games and write the damn orders down; you’ll get bigger tips and make fewer mistakes.    
•      Besides, there’s nothing like flipping over a notebook cover to recite back a quote from someone (whether it’s to flatter or to snare a trap!), and –after all– don’t you like it when someone asks you to repeat something or speak slower so he or she can write it down? 

     Get back in the pen and paper habit:  sentences, phrases, key words, names, places, dates, diagrams, bullet points.  It may surprise you to know that there ARE some things that can’t be text-messaged.  Got that down?     halalpiar

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 21 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

Starbucks is like a 

                                                                                             

danceless, daytime, non-

                                                

alcoholic pickup bar . . .

                                                                                                  

at roughly the same cost!

                                                                                                                        

     Take a shower; wash, dry and fix your hair; shave; brush your teeth; gargle; deodorize. Grab your cell and notebook (cellphone and laptop computer, for the old folks!), sling your elbow-patched jacket over your shoulder (or tie your little cardigan around your little bare, bellybutton-ring-enhanced waist), hop into your freshly-washed and aroma-therapied car, and head on down to Starbucks to do a little work . . . or at least to give the appearance of doing something important.  Oh, and remember $20 for some coffee!

     Am I missing something here?  Okay, I always did officework in my office, schoolwork at home or in the library, but I can understand the need to expand one’s horizons a bit and have a more active backdrop than a window-view of brick or, heaven forbid, a TV screen, but Starbucks? 

     Starbucks is like a danceless, daytime, non-alcoholic pickup bar . . . at roughly the same cost!  And, to top it all off, you can be Democrat or Republican (but you’re probably an artsy-crafty screaming liberal); you can be gay or straight (or leaning); and you can get totally whacked on caffeine (without being embarassed at having to carry a 6-pack of Red Bull in the baggy sidepockets of your painter’s pants).  Whoa, and DUICS (Driving Under The Influence of Caffeine from Starbucks) is legal!

     So just meander on in, claim a tabletop space for your gear, then get in line behind some perverted coffeeholic who’s taking twenty minutes to order a Grande (so what happened to “large”?) peppermint pumpkin spiced skimmed-milk mocha latte with two and a half shots of peach espresso, one-half shot of amoretta reserve espresso, a squirt of alfalfa honey and three spritz’s of lowfat vanilla, with whipped cream.  Cha-ching, cha-ching, you’re thinking; this baby will run about $37 without a spoon for the whipped cream! 

     Oh, and, let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard the details of this request be bantered back and forth and “checked on” eleven times.  This is usually a good time to head for the bathroom without worrying about losing your place in line.

     So, okay, you finally get your overkill coffee and return to claim your seat, which has now been muscled in on by four people who decided to commandeer your table and work around your gear.  “Oh, sorry, Dude.  (or Dear)  We didn’t think you were coming back, y’know?  Do you want us to like move or something?”

     Game Over!  You lose!  You picked an idiot to get behind in line and you’re simply not up to battling four people for the table.  Time to call it a day.  But, no problem; you can just sit in your car and drink the hot mud, and be thankful you still have $13 left; that’s like a decent bottle of wine, right?

     So, next time, skip Starbucks; play your own game!  Stay dirty, dress sloppy, spend $1.50 for WAWA coffee (it’s better anyway), and go to the library to work.  Then you can get an $18.50 bottle of wine and just go to your room and drink and sleep.   halalpiar   

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BE A CO-AUTHOR!  ENTER YOUR OWN 7-WORDS OR LESS TACK-ON to the “billboard discipline” story started 18 posts ago. The next 7 words could be yours! 

Go get your friends, family, neighbors and work associates! 

Everything You Always

                                                  

Wanted to Know

                                                                                           

About How to Manage

                                                                                  

Your SELF Under Stress,

                                                                                        

But Were Afraid to Ask.

     I see major seminar companies charging hundreds of dollars for the information presented here for FREE . . .  

     If you or someone you know has a “short fuse” or a tendancy to over-react at home or work, or be disorganized, put things off, be worried or anxious, or constantly feel guilty, do yourself or that other person you care about a favor by connecting to the blog posts found below on this page, and —especially– by clicking in the “Post Archive” section(under “Blogroll”and “Literary Agents”) about half-way down the righthand column (on this page).  

Then check out the following quick reads (from self-learning materials which produced the best results for over 20,000 students in 30 years of college teaching and management training seminars) :

JUGGLING CATS (Sep 21);     VICTIM OR RESCUER (Sep 19);     Dear Boss: Besides that they suck, meetings waste time (Sep 16);     Business Writing & Writer Writing Tip #1001: GETTING ORGANIZED (Sep 13);     PERFECTIONISM . . . (Sep 07);     MORE BUSINESS TO LEARN FROM SPORTS (Sep 06);     Calling All Corporate Types, Entrepreneurs, Homemakers . . . ((Sep 02);     DEALING WITH INDIFFERENCE (Aug 27);     ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE (Aug 26);     Thoughts While Driving . . . (Aug 22);     WATCH YOUR TONGUE . . . (Aug 20);     Surprise! Nobody MAKES you angry . . . (Aug 19);     REAL LEADERS . . . (Aug 15);     MANAGEMENT “THEORY A” (Aug 12);     HAVE YOU TAKEN A REALITY READING LATELY? (Aug 11);     THE POOL RULE (Aug 10);     EFFECTIVE JOURNALING (Aug 05);     DEALING WITH ANGER (Aug 02);     “CHANGE” IS NOT A LEADERSHIP WORD! (Jul 03);     ATTITUDE is the answer . . . (Jun 14);     REALITY THERAPY . . . (Jun 11);     LIFE IS JUST A BOWL OF WORRIES (May 29);     EVERY PROBLEM=AN OPPORTUNITY (May 21);     WHADDAYAWANT? . . . (May 07);     STRATEGIES MUST COME FROM INSIDE (May 02);     LIFE IS GOOD . . . (Apr 29) 

     And most important of all:

See “ARE YOU BREATHING?” under the “Magazine Articles” tab at the top of the homepage.  Happy blog post anthology-skimming!     halalpiar

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Dropping boots, sneakers, 

loafers, or gumshoes? 

     A mystery, I’m told, is when both shoes have dropped, and what remains is to figure out who dropped them . . . on what, and when, and where, and why, and how.  Super sleuth Sherlock Holmes leads the parade.

     A suspense story, on the other hand, is when having already gone through the dropping of one shoe, we need to be (as Thoreau once advised) “forever on the alert” in anticipation of what the who, what, when, where, why and how the other shoe will be dropped.  Alfred Hitchcock movies are prime examples:  The Birds, Psycho, North By Northwest, et al. 

     Neither of these writing challenges –mystery or suspense– is by any means simple, and both have varying degrees of tension sandwiched into and between the action scenes.

     So, okay, let’s take a step back and look at the big picture, okay? 

     Good.  Here we go then:

     Which of these genres best describes your life right now? 

     Are you, for example, living a mystery or keeping everyone around you in suspense? 

     Hopefully, neither of these terms serves your modus operandi.  I would like to think things are more in the healthy “comedy” zone for you, but reality dictates that we all vacillate from one to the other, and can make that shift at the drop of one’s jaw! 

     Of course, some folks lives are best identified as “sci-fi”, or “high drama,” or (ahem!) “erotica” or “chicklit.”  And then there’s (ho-hum) “nonfiction”-labeled lives of rational, logical, unemotional existences.  

     Ah, yes, and lest we forget: “literary fiction” —mostly Ivy League graduates who lie alot (especially politicians!)— which probably represents the closest lifestyle to those who live their lives as if they were inside “children’s picture books.”  HA!  Know a few people who fit that, huh? 

     So, tell the truth: I’ll bet you never thought of that politician/toddler analogy.  (Or maybe you have?)  Well, it might be a good idea to think about it in the next few weeks; we are after all, in that overlap season.  Baseball.  Football.  Halloween.  Elections.  Back-to-school.  Elections.  Back-to-school?  Elections . . . Hmmmm.  “Reality” stories and lives like yours and mine certainly can’t afford to have any toddler running the country now, can we?  See that?  Writing and book categories can come in handy.          halalpiar  ______________________________________________________________

“FREE KITTEN ALL AGES”

 “DRUG POISON THANKS”

     What do these mean?  What in the world do you imagine the intents could be of the people who spray-painted them?  I am assuming of course that more than one person was involved here. 

     Because both of these noncommunicative messages reared their enigmatic heads in the States of New Jersey and Delaware within the last 12 hours, I could be wrong.  After all, it is possible that one person did them both.

     However, one message was black on white cardboard; one was red on brown cardboard; the “FREE KITTEN” lettering was much more wobbily; and the two signs were about 130 miles apart. 

     So where does that leave us, except: perplexed?  So what?, you say?  Ah, but there’s good reason to wonder if someone short on two colors of spray paint and limited as to choice of cardboard was thankful for having poisoned a kitten with drugs to set it “free,” don’t you think? 

     Oh, right, and it’s entirely plausable that such a depraved individual was perhaps so overcome with emotion at the thought of having to give the poisoned kitten away for free that the shakes took over as she or he lettered the offering. 

     And then, of course, that person would have driven 130 miles —about twenty-seven hours worth in Jersey traffic— just to distance the two signs so no one (except devious me!) would think to connect the freebie-feline-of-all-ages with the expression of gratitude for the drugs that did the nasty deed.  Let’s exercise some imagination (You do remember what that’s like?  Think back to your toddler days!  Sorry, sometimes the sarcasm just runs rampant!) 

     Anyway, supposing the poor dumb cat was unintentionally poisoned, like maybe it ate some bad sushi or something.  And what if the negligent kitten culprit happened to be a some household name athlete or movie star or (unlikely though it may be, and heaven forbid) a politician?  Under such circumstances (risking infamy), it could conceiveably be worth driving the 130 miles to smoke-and-mirror his or herself into New Jersey Turnpike obscurity (or the Sopranos’ summer home in Sea Bright or Sea Girt or Mantoloking . . . or wherever, or, huh, all three plastic towns).

     So, what’s the point here, halalpiar?  Well, maybe it’s not such a good idea to create a message that’s not clear to everyone who sees it (even people as dense as me!) if you’re really serious about what it is that you’re trying to sell . . . or give away, or thank!     halalpiar   

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All the world’s a stage.

                                                                           

(Maybe Shakespeare had it wrong?)

                                                                                                    

     He said all the world’s men and women are “merely actors.”  Are we?  Do we, for example, do what we do and say what we say purely for the intrinsic worth of it?  Or do we preoccupy our minds with intentions of impressing others for the lame sakes of our own egos?  Or are the shows we put on and the acts we deliver simply a means to our ends? 

     These are not unimportant questions in the grand scheme of things because the answers are ones that actually end up driving and energizing us as individuals as well as team players. 

     And youth (ah, yes, remember that?) seems rather tenacious in its approach to ego protection, projection, promotion, and strengthening vs. the signs of acceptance that seem to come to many with age.  Or is it that we just lose contact with (or not give a damn) after journeying over one of those proverbial “hills” that mark numerous birthdays from 29 on up that end in a zero?

     Maybe Shakespeare had it wrong?

     Maybe all the stages are our worlds!

     My “stages”—my office, my bedroom, my softball field, my car, my garage, my favorite restaurant, my favorite beach and mountain and vacation escape, my telephone, my computer— plus those I share with my wife, and friends, and relatives, and dogs, and guests, and business associates, and neighbors—all seem to dictate my behavior, my acting, and move me forward in ways unique to each set and setting. 

     Each stage offers different props and lighting and sound levels, and to each I often wear different costumes.  Each has different entrances and exits, and each affords large, small, sometimes indifferent and sometimes exuberant audiences.  Some stages promote my appearances ahead of time, some I sneak into and out of, some I enjoy and others, like the dentist’s chair stage . . . 

     Oh, well, sorry Will.  It was a good idea at the time, I thought: thinking of your words differently.  But, then, wasn’t that perhaps your intent after all?  Ah, onest wilst never know, wilst one?             halalpiar  

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     I HATE being a “blogger”!

     I’m a writer.  When I write something that gets published, people ask me to sign it.  When I rent a car in Ireland where writers –not football and Hollywood stars– are the national heroes, and I fill in “writer” for occupation, the counter clerks practically trip over their green shoelaces (yes, Irish green predates America’s “green“!) trying to grant my slightest wish. 

     Former schoolmates who generally thought it best that I should simply be swept under someone’s rug (because my Father was a low-life mailman who drank too much and I was a little too illiterate and rough around the edges), are now agog (agoogle?) at my sophisticated career track.

     So that enviable high-brow reputation thing was all working out, and then one day I decided to try blogging. Like I’ve done alot of things once: parasailing, taboggoning, i-podding, so I never dreamed that writing a blog would make me a blogger!  Imagine!  On Monday, I’m a writer with years worth of writing experience.  On Tuesday, I write a blog and on Wednesday, VOILA!  I’m a blogger!  

     I mean I once wrote the words for a matchbook cover, but I didn’t go and wake up the next morning as a matchbooker.  So what’s the deal with blogging?  The damn word isn’t even in my dictionary, which is only a couple of years old.  My grandmother would have a fit to hear that I ended up after a life of intellectual toil and hardtimes to be . . . ta ta ta DAH: . . . . . a   b  l  o  g  g  e  r  ! 

     Good Grief, Charlie Brown!  A BLOGGER?  Unfortunately, it sounds and looks a bit like BOOGER, which is not a terribly flattering analogy.  And it really doesn’t work well with kids either.  My grandchildren give me “Where, oh where has my little blogger gone?  Oh, where oh where can he be . . . ?” and “Hickory dickory dock.  The blogger ran up the clock!” [Did you ever stop and think about the violence there, by the way, of running after the three poor old (blind, no less) mice with a carving knife and cutting off their tails?  That’s like a bloody mess.  Whew!  And then there’s the breaking bough that comes down from the treetops with the baby?]  Who writes this stuff anyway?  A writer. 

     Maybe being a blogger ain’t so bad afterall.  I mean like a WRITER can’t run around saying “ain’t” and stuff like that, write?  Er, right?  Well, a blogger can. 

     Okay.  I’ll take it.  I’ll take “blogger.”  I don’t like it.  I’d much rather be just a plain old WRITER, but blogging IS what’s happening.  I hear people shout “Que Passe?” and other people shout back: “Blogging!”  

     Somehow, I just can’t imagine renting a car in Ireland and telling the desk person I’m a blogger, and having a big whoopdewhoop go on, but maybe quieter is better, you know?  At least if it’s quiet, I can write.         halalpiar    

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