“We make a living

by what we get,

but we make a life

by what we give.”

–Winston Churchill

Dedicated to one of my softball league buddies, Jimmy Travers, whose great sense of fun and spirit left us this weekend for his next life…… Thanks for the laughs and the hustle…Hit ’em where they ain’t, Jimmy!

     How you make a living may determine how you live your life, but how you live your life will determine how the rest of the world sees and experiences you and your business.

     What’s unique and exciting about this is that you can change either or both at the drop of a hat!

     Making the change, any change, is a choice…your choice, a decision made on a dime, in a blink, in two shakes of a lamb’s tail, or lickity-split. Reaping the rewards may take a little longer. 

     It might, for example, take a little while to gain acceptance and appreciation and trust and credibility, but the end result is as permanent as your diligence.

     Have you ever quit smoking or started exercise? Neither produces results overnight, but the more you stick to it, the more you see that the change works. And the easier it gets to make that choice every day.

     Not only that, one positive change fosters others…a chain reaction that breeds success and satisfaction. Being in better health attracts others who share your pursuits. It attracts happiness too. Health and happiness attract financial success, business success, family success.

     And that’s when you can really “make” your life by giving back to others what you gained in wisdom from those who came before you, who also came and conquered.

     No, I’m not talking about some of the more popularly-publicized (and extremely naive) notions of socialistic wealth-sharing. That kind of destructive thinking never works.

(Dictating healthcare choices for everyone unfortunately appears headed to be the next proving ground for this point.)

     Donating money is a wonderful thing when it’s affordable and a free choice! I’m speaking here though—beyond money— of treating family, friends, neighbors, customers, clients and patients, employees and suppliers–all–with increased respect. Every day. Persistently. It comes back to you AND your business!

     There’s a small sign hangs over my desk for it seems a hundred years that says  “Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” Or, as Churchill said, “…make a life by what you give.” That choice made again and again will make your business grow.

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com  (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar # # #   

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Don’t Choose To Dwell

On Your Goals!

     It’s no wonder we get our businesses in so many accidents. As Americans, we’re virtually (and probably literally) brainwashed with the need to follow rules and regulations, and only ever pay attention to where we’re going.

     We are obsessed with the future…planning for it, wondering what it will bring, worrying about it, looking toward it. Once in a while it’s a good thing to glance in the rearview mirror.

     Following all the rules and regulations and focusing only on what’s in front of us will never get us anywhere that’s unique, remarkable, or successful. In fact, it may never get us anywhere at all.

     Rules, regulations, and the future are certainly not directional signs to the path of progress for business because they represent an investment in the status quo and nonproductive worry.

     Why is that? you may ask. Because success only comes from breaking the “rules,” of which there are none in business (except perhaps in law, accounting and certain parts of retailing and shipping logistics)… and because focusing on the finish line inevitably prompts one to trip over one’s own feet!

     Driving your business forward on the road to success while devoting your attention to what the next exit is, and when will the next service center appear, and how many more miles are yet to go doesn’t leave much balance of attention to focus on the vehicles that are driving alongside you, and coming from the opposite direction.

     There’s probably no need to say anything more than the three dreaded words, “head-on-crash” to send chills and shudders up and down your spine and butterflies doing cartwheels in your stomach.

     But wait! Tragedy and disaster only strike when you make a conscious or unconscious choice to set yourself up (and your business) for tragedy or disaster.

     Here’s what it’s all about: YOU are the captain of your business and YOU decide when and where to drive, and at what speed, and at what hours, and at whatever condition your vehicle is in. It’s YOUR business. It’s YOUR choice! If you own or manage your own company, the behavior of your company is YOUR choice!

     So stop tuning in all your energy to where you’re going and start paying attention to where you are. Only by seeing and responding to what’s around you can you make your business move forward in productive directions.

     Take some “real time” inventory of where your business stands at any given present moment and then adjust it from there going forward, but don’t choose to dwell on your goals. Dwell on what you’re doing right now to take you there.   

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Input welcome anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals, good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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“I know how it feels to have 

wings on your heels, and to

fly down the street in a trance”

                                                              From the classic song, “HELLO YOUNG LOVERS”

     Sure you can stop to smell the flowers, but that just gives you a breather. What you really need to do is stop for a minute and remember how it feels to have wings on your heels and to fly down the street in a trance because THAT will give you M O T I V A T I O N.

     Think back to the last (or first) time you were so excited, you might as well have been flying. Go on. Do it! Think back. Remember what was going on? Remember how great you felt? Remember how you knew at that moment that you could conquer the world?

     Stay with it.

     Now, do it again. Whaaaaat? Yes, do it again! Feelings and behaviors are a choice! Sometimes choices are conscious and sometimes they are unconscious. Make a conscious choice to recreate the exhuberance you felt at that magically high moment and bring it all back into focus. Get your butt cranked up to fly through this coming week!

     Go to bed tonight convinced that you own the world (regardless of reality and woes and worries)! Be in 100% charge of your SELF and your feelings. Go to bed telling yourself:

I will awake at ___AM (insert whatever time you rise) feeling happy, healthy, rested, alert, physically fit, and ready to take in all the money that comes easily and frequently.

     Don’t question me. Don’t dismiss this. Don’t X off the page. Don’t give up on yourself! YOU OWE YOURSELF a huge, successful week. Make the choice and do it! Stop making excuses. Stop allowing (choosing for) your mind to drift back to negative, bah-humbug nonproductive ways of thinking!

     You know in your heart that you can do better, and that you need only to drive your energy with a positive thrust of attitude. TURN OFF THE 11 O’CLOCK NEWS and go to bed reciting the blue boldfaced sentence above. Go on! I dare you! Take up my dare and watch what happens! What have you got to lose? The 11 O’clock News? (It’ll be there tomorrow. Same old stuff. You won’t have missed a thing. I promise.) You might even get up on time!

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      . . . I’m open to your input anytime: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (”Businessworks” in the subject line) or comment below. Thank you for visiting. Good night and God bless you! halalpiar  # # # 

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“We should enjoy here

while we’re here,

’cause there’s no here there!”

                                                                                      –ZIGGY

     Okay, all you entrepreneurs, don’t start with the excuses that you have no time for time management. That’s a choice. You know as well as I do that you need to MAKE the choice and TAKE the time to do a few things besides business, and that this is as good a day as ever to give it a go!

     Yes, it really is true that you need to take time out to eat. Maybe you thought that candy stash in your desk drawer would get you through the day, or that your idea of good nutrition and getting your daily “greens” meant the pickle on a Big Mac or the fried green pepper with the sausage sandwich, but guess what?

     So that little kick in the butt reminded you to eat something that’s actually good for you. Good. Next, let’s look at how else you spend your business-steamrollering 24 hours (besides the 4-7 hours sleep). No, YOU look. I don’t really want to know. Take 20 seconds out to look at how you’re allocating those 17-20 hours each day. If it’s all work and . . . you know the rest.

     I just want that you should open your mind to open some doors by building in at least two or three of the following seven activities every day to supplement your focus on the thought that you need to take time to WORK because it is the price of success.

     Why should these other seven activities matter? Because too often (besides WORK) ill health and broken families become the price of success. So here . . . seven focused activities that those most successful businesspeople of good health and strong families routinely include in daily existences:

1. Take time to THINK; it is the source of power.
2. Take time to PLAY; it is the secret of perpetual youth.
3. Take time to READ; it is the foundation of wisdom.
4. Take time to WORSHIP; it is the highway to reverence.
5. Take time to BE FRIENDLY; it is the road to happiness.
6. Take time to LAUGH; it is the music of the soul.
7. Take time to DREAM; it is hitching your wagon to a star.

. . . and, the bottom line: CHOOSE to take time to live!  Or as cartoon character Ziggy once said:

“We should enjoy here while we’re here,

’cause there’s no here there!”

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WHAT MAKES YOU TICK?

     Do you know how, when, where, and why you choose to feel angry?  

     Are you aware of some of the things you choose to do to distance yourself from others when you feel threatened or bored or anxious or intimidated? 

     Do you know the difference between your thoughts and your feelings?  Can you separate fact from opinion?  Are you choosing to not like these questions?  Good!  You’re on your way to being a better salesperson.

     Every day, in every way, we sell ourselves to others: to friends, family, neighbors, classmates, bosses, associates, co-workers, existing and prospective customers/patients/clients, to entire communities. 

     We sell ourselves to make a living, to make love, to make enemies, to make opportunities.  

     Sometimes we’re successful and sometimes not.  We can increase the number and frequency of successful sales simply by choosing to dig into and explore more of our insides. 

     The more we choose to learn about what motivates us, what we choose to feel aggrevated about, what we choose to stimulate us, antagonize us, energize us . . . what makes us tick . . . the more we strengthen our abilities to be effective in dealing with (and selling) others.

     There are many steps in the sales process.  Some of these include: 

• Sizing up the prospect (this is a difficult task if you cannot first size up your SELF!)
• Being able to listen (not “hear” – listen) 80% of the time and speak 20% of the time (a challenge for those who like to talk and don’t know enough about themselves to know how to turn off the chatter)
• Understanding and appreciating the customer/prospect’s circumstances (which requires a major dose of empathy – being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes – a quality rarely found in salespeople who haven’t been willing to choose to step or even look outside their own shoes!)
• Overcoming objections (something that only comes naturally to those who have learned enough about themselves to rise above their own feelings of inadequacy and chosen to put aside excuses)
• Closing the sale (the final critical step that makes all others inconsequential if it’s not achieved and which is more likely to be the case when a salesperson is thinking about anything besides trying to help the customer or prospect in front of her or him to make a good buying decision that will truly satisfy a need or want, and that is honest and makes sense for that person. 

     Only salespeople who possess a helping professions mindset and attitude that they’ve learned or instinctively nurtured for themselves will succeed consistently at closing sales because they are not thinking about closing sales as much as thinking about helping someone make a right decision.

     None of the sales process steps above (or any of the dozens of others) can be readily implemented by an individual who has not fully explored the inner recesses of his or her mind, and the emotional triggers to feelings that come from different responses. 

     Consistent success in sales does not come to those who fail to fully appreciate their own unique qualities, strengths and weaknesses.  

     Take advantage of every opportunity to learn more about your SELF and what goes on inside you.  Treat your mind and emotions as uncharted territory and be an explorer.  Remember how much of life you choose for yourself, and that once you’ve learned a road, it’s easier traveling on your next journey.

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The best New Year’s Day 

message I can share

with you comes 

. . . from one of my life’s heroes, Dr. Wayne Dyer.  It’s a 10-Point Pursuit Plan that I’ve dressed up a bit for the occasion, for your business, for your SELF, and to share with your family.  If you succeed at making only HALF of these actually work consistently, I GUARANTEE that this coming year will be as happy, healthy and prosperous for you as humanly possible. 

DO YOUR SELF, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR BUSINESS A FAVOR and read these ten points aloud to yourself.  Write them down.  Carry them in your wallet/pocketbook/briefcase.  Tape a copy to your bathroom mirror, your dashboard, your computer workstation, inside your desk drawer, your workout bag, your refridgerator, the closet bar that holds your hangers. 

READ AND RECITE before you go to bed, when you wake up, and any other time you can squeeze it into your day.  You will positively amaze yourself with the results after just 21 days, and it’s FREE!!  Go for it!

1.   Want more for others than you do for yourself.

2.   See yourself already having what you seek.

3.   Be an appreciator of everything in your life as much as you can throughout each day, every day.

4.   Stay in touch with your own and other positive human energy sources, and laugh as hard and often as you can. 

5.   Understand resistence, and help yourself and others to go with the flow.

6.   Imagine yourself surrounded by the conditions you want to produce.

7.   Understand the path of least resistence.

8.   Practice radical humility.

9.   Be in a constant state of gratitude.

10.  You can never resolve a problem by condemning it. 

If you think you’re going to give up on this, don’t start it.  A little bite will only leave a bad taste.  If you think you have what it takes to get your act together and take it on the road, if you think you have enough self-discipline to follow and practice the behaviors these 10 points suggest, you will positively succeed — even against all odds.  Remember these 10 points are all about behavior.  Behavior is a choice!

If you need reinforcement or reassurance, be in contact: Hal@TheWriterWorks.com (“BLOG 10” in subject line)             halalpiar 

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Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 113 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

DRINK. LIGHT A CANDLE.

WEAR YOUR SLIPPERS.

BRING YOUR DOG.

     Like using up a yellow traffic light to get under and past it before it changes to red, this is the time of year to make the most of The Great American Work Slowdown that starts this weekend and lasts until New Year’s weekend’s hangovers have been adequately resolved (probably January 6th or 7th this year depending on whether you use Alka-Seltzer or not!). 

     What is that supposed to mean?  You saying to work while everybody else is partying?  No.  I’m saying take time to relax, take time to be with family (and bury the family-feud hatchets at least for a few tolerable hours), and take some time to reassess where your business is headed and how you’re going to get there.

     Now, I’m not talking corporate types here.  They get downtime all year.but have managed to convince themselves that they work hard and deserve it.  I’m talking about the all-American entrepreneur business owners and managers, and professional practice principals — those who thrive on stress, work 6-7 days a week, and have the ingenuity to make a go of anything that comes along.  If you’re it, you know it.

Take time to assess where you’re headed . . . “Where you’re headed” as in goal adjustments.  Are your goals/objectives specific, realistic, flexible, and due-dated? 

If all four of these criteria are not present by the way, your goals/objectives are simply Disneyland fantasy wishes that are wasting your time, money and energy! 

Take time to reassess how you’re going to get there . . . “How you’re going to get there” as in strategies.  What are the thinking avenues you’re going to take to reach the goals? 

If you lock in both of these, the only place you can fail is with the tactics you use to execute the strategies to achieve the goals — and tactics can be changed in two shakes of a lamb’s tail (which is pretty damn quick if you’ve ever seen a lamb’s tail shake!)

     S L O W   Y O U R S E L F   D O W N. 

     Wear your jeans and take your slippers with a giant cup of coffee or bottle of wine or some sipping brandy.  Park your car somewhere out of sight.  Lose your cell phone.  Play some background music you like.  Light a candle.  Bring your dog.  Take advantage of empty email and voicemail in-boxes. 

     Quiet time in the office can work wonders.  You’ll astound yourself with how much you learn and create and plan when nobody else is around.  You’ll get more done in half a day than you normally would in an entire week. 

     Remember all behavior is a conscious or unconscious choice.  Make a conscious choice to treat yourself to some private quiet business think time.  Oh, and do make written or tape-recorded notes of your rendezvous with your SELF!  They’ll make a great launchpad for your 2009 opening bell!    halalpiar    

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See Nov 29th post (below) for New Year’s contest prize and rules – Then GO FOR IT!  Emails to Hal@TheWriterWorks.com with “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” in the subject line.          # # #

Check out and contribute to the daily growing 7-Word Story started 102 days ago (inside a coffin).  Click on the link to the right, or go to the “BOOKS” tab at the top of this page, then to the top headline link.

Be kinder than necessary

because everyone

you meet is fighting

some kind of battle!

     I know, I know, I promised more today on listening skills.  Well the number one rule of listening for many people and many professions is to use empathy, and that’s what this heading is all about. 

     Empathy is mentally putting yourself in another person’s shoes.  It is a step up from sympathy, or feeling sorry for someone, because empathy implies active involvement.

Of course there’s more, a lot more, to active listening skills than being empathetic, but I relate strongly to the message of the heading, so I’m leaving it there while I take you down another listening skill path: paraphrasing!

“If I understand you correctly, you are saying that . . .” or “What I think I hear you saying is . . .” or “Do I understand you to mean . . .? are three excellent lead-ins to use when paraphrasing (putting your “take” on a statement into your own words) something someone else has just said.  Why would you do this?  To make SURE that you got the opinion or information or directions right!

This paraphrasing device, by the way, when it’s delivered in a persistently unemotional, understanding tone of voice, has great value in defusing moments of conflict.  It forces a person who’s just tossed out an emotional barrage of complaints to hear how their words have come across to someone else in a non-threatening and non-confrontative way.

  Paraphrasing serves to slow down the rush of upset, and often prompts the other person to reconsider or at least to better explain the issues.  It sets a stage for the upset person to talk more, and often to be more careful and reasoned.

   We’ve all heard that (especially in sales, customer service, counseling, consulting, and marriage ) we need to try to speak 20% of the time and listen 80% of the time.

This may be a challenging prescription, but speaking and listening are behaviors.  We choose our behaviors.  We also choose to be challenged or we can choose to be accepting.

Water flows best downhill.  Choose the easy route.  Just tell yourself to “Listen up!” [Taking notes ALWAYS helps, and flatters as well.  “Would you please speak a little slower (or repeat that) so I can jot it down; I want to make sure I get it right!” works wonders in terms of ensuring full understanding and in boosting the other person’s ego.]

On the flip side, ask someone who’s just unloaded a barrage of concerns to help you sort them out by writing them down, one at a time, and assigning a #1 for most important and #2 for next most important, etc. to each item — and then proceed to address (chew and digest) each issue separately and exclusively, beginning with #1.

Odds are pretty good you’ll never get past the first two or three items on the list before the complainant withdraws the remaining ones or backs off the initial sense of fury, or both.  Either way, you have nothing to lose by trying, except miscommunications and upsets.

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Hal@Businessworks.US or 931.854.0474

 “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!” [Thomas Jefferson]

Thanks for visiting. Go for your goals. God Bless You.

Make today a GREAT day for someone!