The Latest Business Myths

 (Not for the feisty or feint-hearted)

     MADMEN,  the award-winning TV show is (sorry folks!) NOT a true-to-life representation of big-time Madison Avenue advertising agencies in the 1960’s and ’70’s. I was there then, and in the thick of it. Yes, most people smoked cigarettes then and there, but not as rudely as depicted. Yes, politics pervaded agency meeting and presentation rooms, but not as brashly as depicted. So, the show aims to get a rise, and perhaps it does (I find it boring), but there’s hardly much truth to it. In fact, most smokers then were smoking more than cigarettes at their desks! (No, this is not a reference to the smoking of banana peels!)  

     SALES LEAD GENERATION.  This has replaced Search Engine Optimization as the business world’s biggest smoke and mirrors act! In the past week alone, I have received over 100 email and Twitter solicitations to engage the services of (Rah-Rah-Sis-Boom-Bah!) Lead Generation “Coaches,” Lead Generation “Resource Centers,” Lead Generation “Experts” and “Professionals,” Lead Generation “Counselors” (presumably to assist those poor souls who’ve generated altogether too many leads!) and all other jump-on-the-bandwagon, nutcase varieties of people who truly must be fooling themselves. With so many great sales leads to offer, would you think they have to sell so hard? I guess they just “generate” them so we can all actually use them.

     HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!  It is really interesting the levels of desperation that legitimate business professionals choose to set themselves up to get dragged into. Have you noticed lately how the economy has created a deal on every corner? No longer just the blowtorch approach of car dealership salespeople, now we are being offered deals from all manner of retailers and service businesses, even doctors and nursing homes (whoops, sorry, long-term care facilities) are doing two-for-one deals. Right! My 96 year-old neighbor and I come as a package deal. Uh, rebates?

     STRATEGIC ALLIANCES  are all the rage. This simply means: No, there’s not enough money laying around to hire your services because the economy sucks eggs, so — instead — we’re (I’m) making this magnificent offer to you to engage your talents on behalf of our (my) interests and in exchange you’ll get a free banner on our website (that btw we need you to write for us) and we’ll even throw in “a ton of sales leads” that we generate for top clients. It’s your chance to see where your hard work can lead (oh, that word again).

     THE ECONOMY IS TURNING AROUND. Yeah, like the QEII in New Jersey’s Metedeconk River. Keep on kidding yourself, and — for a touch of reality — be checking the bills in your wallet as you assure your bankers and investors that Grandma should break out the tambourines because the business world is getting ready to rise again. You go girl!    

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